Chapter Thirty-one

Hanna worked her ass off.

She took two more jobs on top of her day job. In the evenings, she delivered pizza and cleaned offices, and on the weekends, she hired on doing restoration work with a local antique mall.

Every second she was awake, her mind was on Nate. She hardly slept, but when she did, she dreamed about Nate.

She'd never known it was possible to miss someone as much as she missed him. She kept thinking that her feelings would soften, that she'd quit hurting a little more each day, but that acute ache in her chest never faded.

How was she going to go the rest of her life feeling like this?

Three times she'd called him, but when he'd answered, she'd been speechless.

What does a woman say to the man she loves but isn't good enough for?

The third time, he'd said, "Hanna, if this is you, don't hang up. Just listen."

She'd clutched her work phone so hard her hand shook. It was after hours in one of the offices she cleaned. This line was set up as private, with no caller ID available. No one was around. She was alone with Nate's sexy voice filling her ear and making her heart ache with want.

"I don't know how to find you. That's the only reason I'm not with you right now," he said. "Those things you heard Lulu say…they were utter bullshit. You've never been a charity case to me, and you couldn't be a lost cause even if you tried. You're the woman I…" He trailed off. She heard him swallow, then he started again. His voice was so filled with yearning, it broke Hanna's heart to keep listening. "I want to see you again. I need to see you. Please say something. Tell me where you are. I'll drop everything and come right now."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her nose ran, but she didn't dare sniff and give away her presence on the other end of the line.

She wanted to say something. She wanted to at least talk to him again. She loved him so much she didn't know how to contain so much raw emotion.

But she couldn't. Nothing had changed yet. She was working hard, but she had yet to reach the goals she'd set for herself.

Nate sighed, but the sound was more exhausted than frustrated. "It's okay, honey. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. Just keep calling, okay? At least that way I know you're safe."

That was so like Nate to worry about her safety even though she wasn't giving him what he wanted.

Just like that first night she'd met him in the rain, and refused to ride into town with him. He'd stood in the rain while she sat safely in his fancy truck, leaking water all over the leather seats.

He'd done so much for her—given her so much—and all she'd done was take.

That was all going to change. She just needed a little more time.

"Come back, Hanna," he whispered. "Please. Just come back to me."

***

The rest of the summer passed in a blur of heat, sweat and loneliness. Nate kept busy to ward away thoughts of Hanna, but it rarely helped.

The Yellow Rose was nearly done, thanks to all his long hours working on her. There was no question in his mind that he was going to finish before his deadline so the mysterious artist from California who wanted to buy this place could move in.

He only wished that he could enjoy his victory.

Progress on acquiring the Ophelia Grand Hotel was moving slowly. He didn't yet have enough of a down payment to get the loan, but he was hoping that the Yellow Rose would sell soon and he'd be able to sign the contract for the hotel before the opportunity slipped away.

He still went back to visit the place every couple of weeks, but rather than being filled with that deep sense of excitement he'd always had before, he felt…empty. Listless.

What was the point of restoring the old hotel if there was no one in his life to share it with? His family didn't understand his passion for the place. His friends thought he was nuts to take on a job that big rather than spending more time fishing or hunting. Only Hanna had seen his vision, and she was gone.

Nate still had trouble with that. If not for her calls—and he knew they were from her—he would have gone to Oklahoma City to search for her. But the fact that she always called him from a number with no caller ID told him that she didn't want to be found.

He only wished he knew whether she'd run off without a word because of what Lulu had said about her being a charity case, or because Hanna simply didn't care enough about him to say good-bye.

Something in his gut told him it was the former, because if she really didn't care, then why keep calling?

Nate finished hanging the light fixture in the living room of the Yellow Rose, then climbed down from his ladder. He flicked the switch on the wall to test the light. Brightness engulfed the room and made the intricately carved mantle glow.

The paint was all stripped away now, leaving behind the rich wood tones to shine through. Several of the roses and leaves had been damaged, but Hanna had repaired them, and Nate could no longer figure out where the damage had been.

He ran his fingertip along the smooth carvings and imagined her doing the same—touching this very spot as he did now.

Soon this place would be sold and he'd lose one more connection to her for good. He would no longer be able to walk in and see where she worked or see the beauty her skill had left behind.

He almost decided then and there not to sell, but knew that was a sappy, foolish thing to do. He had a deal with the artist chick, and he wasn't about to go back on his word.

Graces never did.

So he'd suck it up and learn to live without all the little reminders of Hanna and the way she'd touched his life.

Nate felt a presence behind him a second before he heard Hanna's voice.

"I couldn't come to town and not at least see how she turned out."

He whirled around, certain that her voice was just his imagination playing tricks on him. In the weeks she'd been gone, he'd played countless conversations with her in his head, working through his feelings of loss and grief.

But this wasn't his imagination. She was here, in the flesh, standing in the doorway looking so beautiful he almost felt the need to shield his eyes.

Her long hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders in glossy waves. She wore a pair of jeans that hugged her body, revealing every single curve and hollow. Her eyes were dark with fatigue, but her skin still had that pretty pink glow that drove him wild.

"Hanna?" He took a step toward her, but stopped in his tracks in fear that he'd scare her away. "You're back?"

"I came to pay Declan. He kept returning my checks unopened, so I decided to bring cash and force him to take it." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I thought I'd stop by to see how the project turned out. She's beautiful."

She'd come to pay a debt. Not to see him, but to see Declan.

Nate tried not to let that hurt, but the stab of pain it caused him was uncontrollable and deep. "How long are you staying?"

"Just one night. I have to work again Monday morning."

His next question should have been about her job or her life in Oklahoma. He should have asked how she was doing, and if she wanted a tour of the house she'd done so much to restore.

But he didn't give a shit about any of those things. There was only one thing he had to know. "Why did you leave like that, without even a single word of good-bye?"

She winced, but recovered quickly, as if she'd expected his question. "I never intended to leave that way. I'd planned to see you first. But then…."

"Then you heard Lulu running her mouth about things she knew nothing about, saying how you were a charity case or some bullshit."

"It wasn't bullshit. She was right. I was a charity case—someone you helped because you're a nice guy and that's what nice guys do. They help people in need."

"Then why run?"

Hanna closed her eyes as if she couldn't look at him while she said the words. "If I'd said good-bye, you'd have made plans to keep in touch with me. You'd have insisted I take the phone you bought me or asked for the address of where I was going to work."

"So?"

"So, you deserve better."

"Better than what? Better than being discarded like I meant nothing to you? Better than being left to worry over whether or not you made it to Oklahoma safely? Better than being made to feel used and meaningless?"

A look of horror crossed her face and she took two steps toward him. "Never those things, Nate. I only meant to protect you from tying yourself to a girl like me."

That pissed him off, and he was too angry to figure out why. He didn't even bother to keep his anger from his tone. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not a child. I don't need anyone protecting me from what I feel."

"You're a good man from a good family."

"So, that makes me incapable of choosing who I love?"

She frowned as if she didn't understand his words. "You can't love me. I have nothing to offer you. I'm not educated or smart. I've managed to save up some money and have started making industry connections again, but I have a long way to go."

"Until what?"

"Until I'm worthy of love from a man like you."

That's when Nate realized the truth. Hanna actually believed she wasn't good enough for him. She was the woman of his dreams but she thought he deserved better. That's why she'd left.

"How do you feel about me, Hanna?" Nate knew asking the question so bluntly wasn't playing it cool, but he didn't care. He needed to know the answer too much to worry about appearances.

"How I feel doesn't matter," she said, her tone both sad and wistful.

"It's the only thing that matters."

Her gaze darted around the room. "I should go. It was a mistake to come here. I'm sorry, Nate."

Like hell she was getting away from him again.

Nate rushed forward, grabbed her arm and pressed her back into the wall. He pinned her there with his hips and caged her with his arms.

She wasn't getting away from him until he had some answers.

"Tell me," he demanded, his tone hard. "How do you feel about me? Do you still think about me? I know it's you who keeps calling me and saying nothing. You can't tell me that you weren't thinking about me."

"I missed you," she said, and a single tear leaked from the corner of her eye. "I wanted to hear your voice."

"Why?"

"I already told you. I missed you."

"Why did you miss me?"

She closed her eyes in defeat and her whole body seemed to sag. "Because I'm in love with you, Nate. I love you enough to do what's right for you, so I cut ties with you. Or at least tried to."

She loved him.

Her confession filled his heart with joy and overflowed until his chest swelled to hold it all. His body trembled against the force of her words, and his eyes stung.

She loved him. All the rest of it—her leaving and the misguided reasons for it—was unimportant.

"I love you too, Hanna," he told her, because he couldn't hold it in anymore and because it was the most important thing she needed to hear.

"You can't love me. I'm not good enough for you." Her small, uncertain tone made him want to wrap her in his arms and never let go. How could she not see how amazing she was?

"We share the same interests," he said. "You're smart and funny. You work your ass off, even when it's a dirty, difficult job. You're sweet to old people and refuse to give up on something because it's got a little wear and tear. Not to mention you're smokin' hot. How could men everywhere not fall in love with you on sight?"

He knew he was opening himself up, taking a huge risk by telling her how he saw her. But he didn't care. Like the Ophelia, if he didn't take this chance, he'd never forgive himself. Someone had to show her the value she held, and it damn sure hadn't been her parents or the people who'd hurt her.

She still didn't look convinced.

He took her by the shoulders and turned her to face the mantle. "See that? See how careful you were, how you took your time removing every speck of paint without damaging the carving beneath? And those repairs you did. You can't even tell where they are now."

"So?"

"So, the woman who did that is fucking awesome. The woman who climbed up three stories to save a couple of old chunks of wood is a superhero." He ran his hand over her shoulder, feeling the slight swell of a scar beneath his fingers. "The woman who gets hurt and keeps going without slowing down or complaining, she's the one I want on my team. In my life."

He turned her around to face him and tilted her chin up so she had to look him in the eyes and see he was telling the truth. "And the woman whose face I see every time I close my eyes—she's the one I love."

Tears welled along her lashes. Her bottom lip trembled.

Nate didn't stop. "When you left, you took a big piece of me with you. I felt empty. My life seemed less meaningful. I didn't laugh, I didn't sleep, I hardly ate…. The woman who does that to me is more than just good enough for me. She's everything."

Her tears flowed freely now, slipping down her cheeks in glistening ribbons. "I'm trying to be good enough, Nate. I've been reconnecting with the businesses I used to work with and some supply houses in Detroit that deal with vintage fixtures. I'd planned to save up enough to go there and buy a truckload of tubs and sinks for the Ophelia. After all you've done for me, I thought I could use that to repay you and maybe help out a little."

He covered her mouth with his finger to quiet her. "Honey, you don't have to do any of that. You don't have to try to be good enough. You just are. You always have been."

How she couldn't see that dumbfounded him.

"Come back to Whisper Lake," he whispered, trying not to sound as desperate to have her in his life again as he was. "Come back and I'll spend every day showing you just how perfect for me you are. Let me prove to you how perfect for you I can be."

A small smile wavered at the corners of her mouth. "You were born perfect for me."

"That's how I feel about you too, Hanna. I want you to be mine. My wife. My partner. All of it. I've never wanted anything the way I want you."

"Not even the Ophelia?"

He grinned. "Not even that."

"What you're talking about…it's a big risk."

"The biggest risk. But I don't care. I know what I want. What I need. Please tell me you'll stay and make all my dreams come true."

Her mouth lifted on a smile so beautiful he knew he'd remember this instant for the rest of his life.

"How can I refuse?" she asked.

"You can't. Not if you love me."

"I do," she said as she wiped away her tears. "I love you so much."

His heart gave a hard squeeze and he knew he'd never get tired of hearing her say those words. Already he could hardly wait to hear them again.

"Then it's settled," he said. "We're going to take the biggest risk of our lives, but we're going to do it together."

He held out his hand for hers.

Hanna took his hand and held on tight. "I'm in, Nate. All the way."