Abby stared at the screen of her computer. An email addressed to Mason was open and her book file was attached. Now she just had to write something to get him to read it without deleting the email out of hand. The subject line said ‘Please Don’t Delete Me Without Reading’ and she hoped it was enough to actually stop him from deleting it. He may delete it simply to spite her, but she had no control over that.

She paced behind her desk chair as she thought through what to say. Honesty was the best policy, but how to say it so that it didn’t sound like an excuse. How do you tell your muse that they had been your muse without offending them?

She sat back down on her chair and poised her fingers over the keyboard. She was a writer, this should be a snap, but the words eluded her. She took a breath and closed her eyes and then started to type from her heart.

Mason,

I know you’re angry and hurt, but I really need to explain to you what you saw that night.

Yes, I had written a profile of you, but not to use in my book. Since the moment I met you, you have inspired me. Spending time with you seemed to open up this untapped well inside me and a story grew out of it. I started writing your profile before I even knew you and kept adding to it as each facet of your life was revealed to me. I didn’t, and had never any intention of using your life in my story. You were my muse, yes, but I would never betray your secrets.

I have attached an unedited copy of my book for you to read. I want to prove to you that I didn’t abuse your trust. Read the book and if you still think that it is too close to the bone for you, then I will destroy it and it will never see the light of day.

I know you may not believe me right now, but I did love you, still love you and if nothing else I need you to know that I never betrayed you and never will.

I’m sorry,

A

Before she could second guess herself, she hit send and then squeezed her eyes shut. Now the waiting would begin and she couldn’t stand to sit here in her apartment where everything reminded her of him. She jumped up from the desk and strode into her bedroom. She threw some clothes in a bag and grabbed her laptop, keys and phone. She called a cab and then locked up, dragging her luggage with her as she went downstairs to wait.

It didn’t take long and she handed over her bag to the driver who put it in the trunk and she slid into the front seat of the taxi. The guy made conversation with her and she was pretty sure she answered him coherently, but she didn’t remember what she said or what he said. The cab pulled up outside the hotel and she let him get her bag out, paying him with a swipe of her credit card. She trudged into the Mayfield and got herself a room and then headed for the lift.

“Abby?”

She turned to see Declan striding towards her and kicked herself for forgetting that Mason’s friend owned this hotel.

“Declan, hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

Without warning Abby’s lip trembled and then the tears began to flow. Declan looked stunned and then petrified and she tried to smile and reassure him, but it only made the tears come faster. He took a step closer and awkwardly put an arm around her and she turned her face into his suit coat, sniffling and feeling like a complete idiot.

“Mason broke up with me,” she managed to get out between sobs.

Declan stroked her back, “Oh, honey,” he said soothingly, “Mason’s a fucking idiot.”

She huffed out a laugh. “It was my fault,” she sobbed as the elevator door dinged open.

“I doubt that. You’re staying here?” he asked as she straightened and picked up her suitcase.

She nodded, “Just for a couple of days. I needed to get away.”

He kept his arm around her and steered her into the elevator, taking her room key and pressing the button, waving away a porter who had come to assist. The doors closed and she blinked back tears. She was sure Declan wouldn’t be this kind to her if he’d known what had gone down between her and Mason, which meant he hadn’t told his friends that they’d broken up.

Declan took her luggage and led the way down the corridor to her room. He opened the door for her, put her luggage in the bedroom and then went to the mini bar to get her a drink. She slumped on the couch and looked out the window at the city view. She knew he was watching her and he probably had a lot of questions about what was going on, but he didn’t ask, just handed her a drink and then sat down beside her.

“I’m an author,” she blurted out, “Did he ever tell you that?”

Declan shook his head but remained quiet.

“I write horror. Have you ever heard of A.A. Abernathy?”

Declan’s eyes widened and he nodded. “I’ve read them all. Mason got me onto them.”

Abby blushed. “That’s me. I write under a pen name.”

He grinned at her. “That’s fucking amazing,” he said, “I never would’ve guessed that a sweet thing like you could write such twisted shit.”

She shrugged, “I have a lot of issues. I find killing people with prose goes a long way to sorting out my shit.”

He chuckled, “So should we look forward to you dismembering an effigy Mason in the near future?”

Tears bubbled up and spilled over her lashes and Declan got a horrified look on his face.

“Shit, what did I say?” He tugged her into his arms, “Come here.” He held her close and rubbed her back soothingly. “Look, I love Mason like a brother, but he can be damned difficult at times. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. He was in love with you, that doesn’t just disappear over night.”

Abby really hoped Declan was right, because she didn’t know how she was going to survive the rest of her life without Mason in it.

As Mason drove his car into the underground parking garage, he saw Abby putting her luggage in the taxi and it pissed him off. She was leaving? Without telling him? He swore loudly and creatively as he parked his car and then slammed his hands on the steering wheel. Why shouldn’t she leave? He had no hold over her any longer.

He should be relieved, he told himself as he got out of the car and closed the door with more force than necessary. He wouldn’t have to hear her banging on next door or have her disrupt his work when she dragged stupid pig carcasses passed his apartment in the middle of the night. Her not being there might actually mean that he could sleep more than an hour or two.

But if she wasn’t next door, where would she be? How could he know that she was all right?

He stomped up the stairs to his apartment, his mood souring with each step. He’d finally discovered the traitor at work and thankfully it had been someone relatively new who he hadn’t known all that well. A betrayal by someone who had worked for him for years would’ve been too much to handle, especially after Abby’s betrayal. Which is why he shouldn’t give a rat’s arse where she was or who she was with. But he couldn’t help himself.

He banged around his apartment, making more noise than he needed to but doing it anyway because it helped stave off the loneliness he had been feeling since storming out of Abby’s apartment a week ago. Ever since he’d felt off kilter, like he no longer fit in his apartment, or his life for that matter. Everywhere he looked, he saw her, like a double exposed film. Her ghostly apparition mocking him with her absence.

What he couldn’t understand was why? Why had she done it? Why had he fallen for her so hard? Why did it feel like he had cut his own heart out with a spoon? He’d never before thought he was capable of falling in love, and when it happened to him he’d believed that it could only happen with someone who was particularly unique. He was an exacting bastard after all and small flaws annoyed him to distraction, so falling for Abby had made him think that there mustn’t be any guile in her. But he was proven wrong by her deceit and her betrayal.

He knew he was arrogant, but was he narcissistic enough to think that she’d moved into the apartment next door in order to get close to him? Or was he just being paranoid? If he let it, his mind could spin out all sorts of scenarios for why she targeted him. Maybe Monique had put her up to it, maybe the whole novel writing gig was just a ruse and she was actually one of those sleazy reporters that dug up secrets and exposed them to the world.

With each more outlandish thought, he knew he was spiralling out of control. None of them rang true, but he was so discombobulated by discovering her betrayal that he was floundering and didn’t know which way was up. The rug had been pulled out from under him and he was still trying to find his balance, his old normal, the person he was before Abby came into his life. The problem was, she’d changed him and now that old life wasn’t appealing and didn’t seem to fit him.

His phone rang and he breathed a sigh of relief to be distracted from his distressing thoughts.

“What?” he barked into the cell.

“What did you do?” Declan said.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the beautiful woman who just booked into my hotel looking like her boyfriend had been a complete arsehole to her. Imagine my surprise when I found out that he’d dumped her.”

Mason exhaled roughly and closed his eyes, relief swept through him, although he didn’t understand why he was relieved. “Abby’s there?”

“Yes, arsehole, your lovely girlfriend is here and is distraught. So I say again, what the hell did you do?”

“Fuck off, Declan,” Mason growled at his friend, “You don’t know anything.”

“I know that she is the best thing that ever happened to you. I know that she is a lovely woman who deserves better than your sorry arse. I know that if you don’t fix this, I might just have to come over there and knock your fucking block off.”

“Why are you being such a dick? Did it ever occur to you that I might be the wronged party here? How do you know that I’m the one to blame for this?”

“Because that sweet woman is not Monique. That gorgeous woman who you had the good fortune to meet is everything sweet and light and if you can’t see that then you, sir, are a dickhead.”

“I told her everything,” Mason said, slumping exhaustedly into a chair and hanging his head, “And then I found a profile she’d written about me. It had everything in it, Monique, Francine, even my dad. I trusted her and she betrayed me.”

“I don’t understand, she betrayed you how? Did she sell it to a newspaper or something?”

Mason rubbed his face, “No.”

“So, what? You saw something she’d written about you and you didn’t stop to ask questions? You just jumped to a conclusion that gave you an excuse to end the relationship without even talking to her about it? I didn’t take you for a coward.”

“Thanks for the relationship advice,” Mason snarled, “When are we going to meet your lovely other half.”

“I don’t have to be in a relationship to recognise one that’s self-destructing. I also happened to have spent some time with Abby, letting her cry on my shoulder about my arsehole friend who broke her heart. Fix it, Mason. You are in love with her and she is in love with you, I don’t see the problem here, except you being too chicken shit to man up and talk to the woman.”

“Fuck off,” Mason said before he hung up on his best friend who was taking her side.

He lifted his hand to throw his phone against the wall when he heard the chime for an incoming email. He looked at the screen and saw her name and sucked in a breath. He tucked his phone back in his pocket and stalked to his office. If he was going to read her excuses, he didn’t want to be squinting at the palm-sized screen.

It was an apology, an explanation, and her book.

He transferred the book file to his e-reader and he made himself comfortable in his armchair and he read. He read with the intention of finding those tell-tale signs to prove he was right, except he got so engrossed in the story that he forgot to look for them. He read for hours.

Sebastian jumped up onto his lap, a rare occurrence, and made himself at home. But Mason still didn’t move. He petted the cat absently as he read, drawn in by the drama happening on the page.

He’d always enjoyed the A.A. Abernathy books he’d read, but this one was…different. Different in a good way. There was more depth to it, more intrigue, a more complicated plot. He didn’t think it was as scary, but what it lacked in horror it made up for in twists and turns.

A claw in his leg reminded him that he had to feed the cat and probably eat something himself. Reluctantly he bookmarked his spot and rose, only just realising it had grown dark and he hadn’t turned any lights on.

He kicked his toe on the corner of the couch as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and then he squinted them shut as he switched on a light. He fumbled around in the kitchen, putting out some food for Sebastian and then making himself a quick sandwich, something he could eat one handed and read at the same time. The cat happy, Mason walked back over to his seat and resumed his position, picking up his e-reader and picking up the story where he left off.

He kept reading until his eyes got gritty and then he dragged himself to bed, reading some more until he was falling asleep. He put the book down and closed his eyes, but the images from the book played behind his eyelids like a movie. The book was fucking great and was sure to be a bestseller and she was leaving that decision up to him.

He drew in a quick breath and his eyes popped open as he realised what she was entrusting to him. Abby had given him this book before it had gone to an editor and she was telling him that if he didn’t like the content, if he wasn’t happy with what she’d written, it would never see the light of day. He didn’t exactly know how book publishing deals worked, but he gathered that refusing to publish this book would be catastrophic to her career. And she was leaving that decision up to him.

“Fuck,” he swore softly.

Declan was right, he was an arsehole and a dickhead and every other derogatory term he could think of. He’d allowed his past, he’d allowed Francine, to undermine the first solid, healthy relationship he’d ever had. Instead of being an adult and sitting down to listen to why she had a profile of him on her computer, he’d immediately distrusted her. It seemed it was his default setting when it came to women. Monique had of course proven his theory right, that women couldn’t be trusted, but Abby had never done anything of the sort. She had stood by him even when she didn’t know why he was like he was and had offered comfort when he freaked out.

She was the first woman whose touch hadn’t sent him running for the hills and even now he still craved her palm on his naked skin. He wanted to feel her hands cupping his face as she kissed him, he wanted her small little fingers to explore the ridges and furrows of his chest and stomach and back and shoulders.

The first ever woman who had been able to get through all his roadblocks and he’d pushed her away. He was a fucking idiot. Despite what he’d read on her computer, nothing in the book even hinted at him. There were no veiled descriptions of his fucked up childhood, no mentions of a mother who abused the father of her child and then killed him in front of that child. The only thing he could see that he’d influenced her on was the physical description of the main character and even that was so oblique that he’d have to be an arrogant son of a bitch to insist it was supposed to be him and that would really be splitting hairs.

He’d been wrong.

Abby hadn’t betrayed him, not even in the slightest. To be honest, he was a little chuffed that he’d been her muse and so incredibly proud of the work she’d entrusted into his hands. He couldn’t not let her publish this book and he had to apologise to her too.

He picked up the book, all thoughts of sleep gone as he began to read once more. By the time he’d finished the book, the sky was beginning to lighten and he knew what he had to do. He crawled out of bed and headed to his computer. He looked up her publisher in one of her other books and noted the name Juliet in the acknowledgement pages. A quick internet search gave him the information he needed and then he sent an email.

Happy with what he’d done, he crawled back into bed, finally able to fall asleep, a little smile playing around his lips. Right now he needed to replenish with sleep, but when he woke up he was going to find his wayward sub and they were going to have a chat.