I should have been happy with my job. I was up for an amazing promotion that would allow me to break things off with Sinclair and not lose the life I had. Earl was impressed with me, and I had it pretty easy all things considered. But spending time with Dorian had completely sapped away my desire to do anything but just that. I loved being with him, around him, and I knew that wasn't good.

Not when I didn't know where things stood between us.

Or rather, I was pretty sure I knew where we stood, and I didn't want to have to face it.

The sound of a door closing caught my attention. Mikala was in her room playing, but it wasn't her who came into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee pot. As I watched, Tiffany poured two mugs of coffee and then came over to where I was sitting. She put one mug down in front of me, sat down, and took a long drink from her mug.

“What's your deal?” she asked.

I sighed. No point in hiding it from her. She'd get it out of me eventually. “I'm stressed out about work.”

She frowned, confusion showing in her eyes. “Really? I thought you loved your job.”

“Well, I've never loved it, exactly,” I tried to explain. “I mean, it's a good job, but it's not like this was my dream or anything. I know how good I have it, and this promotion is going to be great. It's just...” I sighed.

“Just...?” Tiffany reached out and popped a Cheerio into her mouth.

I wrinkled my nose and smacked her hand. I hadn't eaten my breakfast, but it was the principle of the matter.

“But I spent half the weekend having the best sex of my life, and the other half thinking about him but not hearing from him. And...” I winced. “And I think I screwed up.”

“How so?”

I closed my eyes and made the confession. “I let myself get attached to Dorian. I mean, look at me,” I sighed, gesturing to the bunny pajamas I hadn't changed out of yet. “Don’t you think it’s a little pathetic?”

Tiffany chewed thoughtfully on another Cheerio. “Okay, so the situation's not ideal, but what can you really do about it?”

I knew the answer to that, but it wasn't one I wanted to even consider. But I couldn't lie to Tiffany about it.

“I don't think I should see him anymore,” I said hesitantly. “I...I think it will only make things harder for me when he leaves. Which he will because he has a life. And I'm not part of it.”

Just saying it out loud hurt.

“So end things,” Tiffany said simply. “If that's what's best for you, then it should be an easy choice.”

I wasn't sure whether she was deliberately oversimplifying, or if she just didn't get what I was going through. Either way, it frustrated me.

“It's not that easy,” I argued.

“Why not?”

“Because it's not.”

“How come?” she pressed. “He's not good for you, so break up with him. Simple.”

“He is good for me!” I snapped. “He's been the only thing keeping me from turning into a literal ball of stress these past few days. He makes me smile. Even just thinking about him makes me smile. I love being with him. I love–”

I clapped a hand over my mouth before I said something I didn't mean. Because I didn't mean it Couldn't mean it. And besides, since I hadn’t told her about Elroy’s threat on Friday, she wouldn’t understand why it was so important to me to have Dorian around to ease my stress.

“Girl, you are in trouble with a capital T,” she said, shaking her head. The glint in her eyes told me that she saw deeper than I wished she would. “And while there's a lot I can help you out with, this isn't on the same level as looking after your kid a few days.” She patted me on the back and rose from the table. “You need to figure out what it is that you want from Dorian. And when you figure out what that is, you need to ask for it.”

“What?” My eyes widened at her suggestion. I shook my head, knowing I couldn't even consider it. “That's stupid. I can't just ask for what I want.”

“No, you're right,” she agreed. “You should demand it.”

Tiffany left me to chew on that thought. I'd never seen her so serious, but she had a point. If I didn't know what I wanted from Dorian, then I couldn't know to ask him for it. And if I never asked for it...well, I wouldn't get hurt, but I'd never get anywhere either.

Everything I had in my life, I'd fought for, but I'd never fought for something I wanted. Something for me. For more than six years, it'd been about doing everything in my power to make a life for my daughter. And now, for the first time, I had to decide if I was willing to fight just as hard for myself as I had for her.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon, and I was conducting the first of my rounds of the casino floor. I checked in with a few of the guests that I was familiar with, making sure they were all having a good time. Of course they were, because our customer service was nothing but top notch, but keeping it that way was my job. Despite my maudlin mood a few hours prior, I was in a good mood when my phone rang, and I saw it was Earl.

“Hey, boss, what's up?”

“Hey, Briana, sweetheart. You're out on the floor, aren't you?”

“I am.” I took a step sideways to move behind a wall that blocked some of the noise surrounding me.

“I've just had a request come in from one of the high roller guests. He asked for you specifically to come up to his suite, says he needs some special attention.”

I rolled my eyes, glad that Earl couldn't see me. I very much doubted that whoever this guy was had asked specifically for “special attention,” but Earl seemed determined to make it clear at every opportune moment that he was on board with me sleeping with the guests. Not a requirement, of course, because that wouldn't fly with HR, but if I was amenable to it, he wouldn't be opposed.

He gave me the man's suite number and the name K. Myers. As I rode the elevator, I wondered if Dorian had gotten another room and used a pseudonym to request my company, so it didn't look like what was happening between us was because of my job.

But it wasn't Dorian who answered the door.

Shit.

“Oh,” I said quietly. “Um, hi.”

“It's funny when you get all flustered like that.” The words came out in a lazy drawl, the familiar eyes raking down my body and then back up again.

K. Myers. I hadn't heard his last name when I saw him in Hawaii, and I doubted I'd ever known it when he'd been a customer all those years ago. Now I knew that Earl hadn't been making up the special attention part of things. I had no doubt Kendall had said exactly that.

“What are you doing at the Rock Bay, Mr. Myers?” I asked, trying to keep my tone as professional as possible. “And what can I do to help accommodate you during your stay?”

He swept his arm toward the suites' grand interior. “Why don't you come in, doll?”

I wrinkled my nose behind his back but followed him into the room. I couldn't make a pre-emptive assumption that his intentions were as bad as I thought they were. There was always a chance that he was here to apologize for our confrontation.

“I don’t want to waste either of our time,” Kendall said, turning on his heel. “So I’ll get to the point.” He smirked. “I want you to give me the same quality service you give my cousin.”

A wave of emotions buffeted me from all sides. Shock. Anger. Hurt.

Fear.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding…” I murmured. I could barely hear my own words over the pounding of my heart.

He chuckled. “I don’t think there has. I know it’ll cost more now than it did with that loser boyfriend of yours in charge, but as you can see, I’m not short on funds.” He spread his arms wide, displaying his expensive suit and watch.

I pushed back everything I was feeling. I needed to get out of there.

“And I’m not for sale,” I said stiffly. “Goodbye, Mr. Myers.”

I didn’t slam the door behind me because I was still technically working, but I stomped all the way to the elevator. Then I turned sharply to the right and took the stairs instead. I needed some time alone, and nobody ever took the stairs from these floors. My anger was fizzling out, and the emotions riding in to replace it were going to be harder to control.

By the time I had my back against the cement wall of the stairway, the tears were coming hard and fast. I was powerless to stop them, my whole body shaking with sobs. I couldn’t tell whether I was more upset with Dorian or myself. How could he have told his cousin about what happened between us? I knew we hadn’t made any promises to each other about exclusivity or anything like that, but I didn’t think he’d just hand me off to other men like I was...property.

But, then again, it was my own stupid fault. I never should have fooled myself into thinking there was more going on between the two of us than sex. How could I have been so blind? So reckless? I'd imagined feelings from him that clearly weren’t there. I hadn't been stupid enough to think he loved me, but I'd thought there was a kind of fondness between us. Something special.

I was wrong. One day I would have to get used to the fact that my instincts were completely off when it came to men, and that chasing happiness would always lead to inevitable ruin.

Tiffany was wrong. There was nothing here to pursue. The only real question was whether or not I could continue seeing Dorian knowing that he didn't see me the way I thought he did.