Poppy

 

 

 

Grant sits quickly beside me as I sink down onto the couch and stare limply into my hands. Our knees press together for just a second before he shifts away even though all I want is to feel the reassurance of him next to me.

With Grant beside me, I felt stronger and sturdier than I did on my own. Even though my heart felt a precious vase hurled onto rough ground, it was like this man somehow propped me up, giving my buckling knees a power I wasn’t sure I’d ever had.

Though usually the worn sofa cradling me is a comfort, today the cotton feels rough and scratchy against my pajama pants. My hands slowly slide to grip around my elbows, trying not to show the queasiness that ripples through me.

Every day Miki drifted further and further away.

Was I trying too hard to keep her in my life? Was I pushing her away by clinging too fervently? I just thought with our parents gone that we would hold close to one another…

Maybe this whole time I’d been too hard on David? Maybe he was just misunderstood. Maybe I was cruel?

“Is there anything I can do to help you, Poppy?” Grant asks quietly, his voice low and rumbly and so genuine that my wild thoughts skid to a screaming halt - like time standing still.

Abruptly, I lift my chin to meet his eyes, swallowing the thick lump in my throat that makes it hard to speak. The sincerity in his words shines through his glass blue eyes like a spotlight.

“Actually… I think… I think there is something.” My whispering voice cracks.

He turns slightly so that his body faces me, taking my hands gently in his own. I almost can’t stand the kindness in his every gesture. I’d never been treated so gently in my entire life.

This whole marriage charade would be so much easier if he remained a smug asshole all the time. Instead, he showered me occasionally with this sweet compassion that made my insides flurry with butterflies. How was I not supposed to fall for him when he acted this way?

“You name it, I’ll do it. You want me to hire an investigator to follow that slime ball around? Hell, I’ll make him disappear if you want!” He grins but I’m not sure he’s completely joking on that last offer.

I laugh though it’s weak and shake my head, my eyes lingering on our laced fingers.

“Umm, well, you brought up me moving in with you after the wedding…” I begin slowly, voice picking up speed so that I can get through my entire sentence before losing my nerve. My insides are coiling up again, nervousness running through my veins like sparking tendrils, “But I don’t want to be alone right now, Grant. I want to move in with you as soon as you’ll let me. With Miki all moved out… I just…”

My face twists into a mortified grimace but I struggle to keep my eyes on his beautiful blue ones. I’m sure he’s going to hate the idea. Why would he want to have me around more than he needs to? What use would I be cluttering up his life even more than I already did?

To my surprise, however, Grant gives a light nod of his square jaw with nary a single blink of his eyes, “I’ll call the movers. We’ll have you settled in by dinner.”

“You don’t have to do that.” I stammer, “There’s really nothing I need…” I frown, tapping my chin, “Just some clothes, I guess. And I don’t even need too much of those, I still have to buy some new outfits for work.”

“We’ll get you some today.” He shrugs, his fingers sliding free of my own as he leans against the edge of the couch. It’s startling how cold my hands feel without his touch.

“I guess that’d be fine. It is Friday, my first paycheck should be deposited today.”

Even if Miki refused college, I’d already set up a savings account for that very purpose. I’d put every spare cent I had into it until she came to her senses. It wasn’t even about her specifically going to college, even though that’d been her dream for so long, I just wanted her to pursue something, anything, that she was passionate about. I knew my sister well enough to know that wasn’t being a cashier at the local car wash.

Grant scoffs, the light shake of his head making a brown stray lock of hair dangle into his sea colored eyes, “You’re not spending a penny today.”

My head cocks to the side in confusion, “But…?”

“We may not be married yet, my dear,” He smirks playfully, “but I’d be happy to give you a little taste of the Price family royal treatment.”

I laugh, arms crossing over my chest, “Sometimes you’re too much… really you don’t have to-”

The smirk stays pinned across his handsome lips as he climbs to his feet, cutting me off and holding out a hand to help me up.

“Go shower and get dressed, I have a few calls to make. Then let me treat you to something nice, Poppy.”

I’ll never be able to get used to hearing my name breeze through his perfect lips. I can’t help but to stare at his mouth as he talks, memorizing the way it moves so effortlessly. Something about it begins filling me up with a strange, foreign, burning warmth deep inside of me.

I press my hands against my stomach, trying to quell it but surges higher. Unable to argue with the gentleness of his eyes and desperate for a reprieve from the fire surging in my veins, I give a tiny nod.

As I walk towards my bedroom, I can still feel his eyes lingering on me and it only fans the flames of my core higher.

The warmth of my shower washes over me, soothing away the tension I’d relentlessly been carrying between my shoulders. I roll my head forward so my chin is pressed to my chest, eyes closing tight as the water rolls over my face.

Even with eyes closed, I still see Grant’s face floating in front of me as though he’s in the shower with me. Something boils inside of me, and though at first I think it’s only the soothing heat of the water, it continues to grow until it’s surging through my entire being like an uncontrollable wildfire. The Grant of my mind’s eye grins at me, his gorgeous lips locked in that half smirk he wears so well. Closer and closer he drifts to me until his lips hang only a centimeter before me and I can imagine his hands drifting lower than my shoulders, rough fingertips drawing lines down my breast until I throw myself out of the stream of water, falling to my knees against the cool, slick tile as I gasp for breath and clutch at my throbbing chest.

Between my thighs, my entire core pulses with a desire I have never, ever known.

 

~~

 

“Let’s see what you got!”

Grant beams at me from his diligent spot on a cozy bench at the front of the changing room hallway, chuckling as I pop my shy head out from behind the curtain.

He waves at the boutique attendant who quickly scurries over with another thirty hangers filled with beautifully professional dress that suited Reagan’s gorgeous body much more than myself. I could never pull it off like she did on a daily basis.

“This is too much!” I plead, gesturing towards the huge mound of colorful blouses and nice pants that he’s already purchased for me. At this rate, I’ll never have to buy clothes again.

“While you were getting ready I got a glimpse of your closet.” Grant replies with a critical frown, “You needed this. Desperately. You can’t wear a cat printed shirt that says ‘show me your kitties’ to work.”

“Oh my god, you saw that?” A blush surges up my cheeks as he points towards the pile of clothes the cashier has already scanned and begun to bag.

“Hence this. Now let’s see this dress.”

Hesitantly, I step out of the room, giving a nervous little twirl on the balls of my feet while Grant claps.

When I look back at him, his eyes are trailing across my body in a way that no man has ever looked at me. Something, a hunger maybe, glints in the blue sea of his deep eyes.

The dress is tight but long enough for the office, slinking just below my fingertips on my thighs. The sleeveless bodice is salmon colored, circling my neck like a choker while the fitted skirt is black. Though it doesn’t show a ton of cleavage or leg, I feel so unbelievably sexy in it.

Is this what Reagan feels like every day? No wonder she walks the halls like she owns them.

“Okay, let’s just bag up the rest of the clothes and shoes and head on home. I’m starving.”

Home.

Our home now.

I still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to let me move in early. He’d barely even thought about it. In the fifteen minutes that past while I showered, he’d already arranged a mover to take over anything I need as well as someone to come visit the apartment every day to tidy and monitor for suspicious activity. I was especially grateful for that one, not knowing quite what to expect of David and Miki. It made my heart hurt to suspect anything uncouth of my little sister… but it felt as though I didn’t know her anymore.

“What will we have for dinner?” I ask lightly as Grant carries the bags to his cherry red BMW and tosses them in the trunk.

“What do you want?” He responds with a smirk, “Anything you desire, it’s yours.”

I blush, my eyes flickering over him.

He doesn’t even know what I desire right now. Ever since my shower, I find myself studying each step he makes, the way his shirt clings to his muscles, and when he bent over to grab something off the floor I almost felt my heart explode.

“I love pizza.” I shrug, “But I know that must sound so classless to you. What do you usually eat? Lobster and steak?”

“Only a few times a week, with caviar of course.” He smirks playfully and I’m not sure if he’s making a joke.

He glances curiously up and down the shops and restaurants of the long street where we stand, pointing towards a tiny, cute little Italian place, “Pizza it is!”

 

~~

 

A few hours and a box of deliciously greasy pizza later, we arrive at Grant’s home after the sun has fallen below the horizon and the stars glitter in the sky.

“It’s beautiful…” I breathe in surprise, clutching my heart as my eyes skim across the sprawling acreage of fruit trees and gardens that surround the massive white house. It’s glorious, like something you’d see as a stock photo for an antique frame.

“I know it.” He chuckles, opening the door and guiding me inside, his hand on the small of my back making a shiver roll up my spine.

A young man with sandy hair nods happily at Grant and I as we enter while my future husband gestures slightly towards the car, “If you wouldn’t mind we purchased a few things.” He murmurs, handing over the keys to the young man. Then Grant turns his attention back to me, “I’ve got a few people working here for me, I’ll introduce you tomorrow and show you around. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

“I am.” I sigh with unexpected gumption, shoulders sagging. I hadn’t even realized how tired I was from the emotions of yesterday and today. I could barely keep my eyes open at all. My body felt as though it weighed a thousand pounds.

“You’re here.” He nods, gesturing towards a nearby pair of white double doors on one end of the hall, “And I’m there.” He turns on his heel to point to the other end, where the mahogany doors are slightly ajar, “If you need anything, you let me know.” Grant reaches out a hand as he speaks, his fingers brushing my shoulder.

I nod, watching as he turns and heads over to his room. Before entering, he pauses and glances over his shoulder, giving me a final smile before vanishing.

I sigh, slipping inside the gorgeous room. Two glass doors sit open on the other end, leading out to a wooden deck. The moon, barely visible, dapples a small pond outside with light as a gentle night breeze flutters the long cotton drapes.

It’s breathtaking.

Curiously, I wander the edges of the room, my fingers trailing along the edges of framed art and furniture until I come to a dresser in the corner. A small typed note sits on the top.

“Enjoy, Poppy.” It reads in pretty, swirling font. When had he found time to get this all set up? Grant was a man of mystery.

Slowly I pull open the top drawer, running my fingers across the clothes within.

Too tired to peruse it fully, I drop my clothes in a pile at my feet and lift out a floaty white nighty. I easily slide it over my head before diving into the cozy bed, reveling in the softness of the sheets. It was better than any hotel I’d ever spent the night in my whole life.

I burrow deep in the blankets, hiding from the world in satin sheets a cloud-like pillow, waiting for the sleep I so badly need to suck me into darkness.

Instead, however, dread slowly rises up through my toes instead of the welcome embrace of unconsciousness.

Where was Miki right now? Was she okay? Had she returned to the apartment only to find me gone? What if she loses her cell and can’t reach me?

I squeeze my eyes shut, desperately pleading with myself to find sleep but none will come. My heart races faster and faster and I know my parents are gazing down at me in disappointment.

I’d failed them. I’d failed Miki. I’d lay ruin to our remaining family.

Gasping, I throw myself out of bed and run down the hall. All the lights are off within the room though the door is still cracked open.

“Grant…” I whisper into the darkness of the room, swallowing away my nervousness, “Are you awake?”

A rustle of sheets floats across the room and in the shred of moonlight spilling into the room, I see him sit up on the bed.

“Poppy?”

“I can’t sleep.” My voice cracks and I hate it but I hear him pat the bed beside him.

Like a child dashing to their parent’s bed, I dart across the room and fling myself onto the bed, wrapping myself in sheets that are warm from Grant’s body and smell faintly of his musky shampoo.

“What’s going on?” He asks, words husky from sleep.

I’d woken him.

“I’m so sorry…”

His fingers suddenly brush my cheek and I lean in slowly to the touch. My eyes adjust slowly to the darkness, flickering across the strong bridge of his nose, eyes shining blue.

“Talk to me, Poppy.” He whispers.

“Miki is all I have, Grant.” I cry out, hating myself for the weakness I’m displaying. If only I was stronger, if only I could contain my feelings better, “Our parents died two years ago and she’s hated me ever since.”

“What are you talking about?” His fingers stroke over my cheek again and again, soothing me with his warm, rough touch as I scoot in closer to his warmth.

His arms greet me, wrapping around my waist and drawing me up into his strong, naked chest. Our bodies are crushed together and I can feel every inch of him against me. I inhale sharply at the warmth of his flesh on my cheek, listening to the slow, strong beat of his heart against my ear.

Being in his embrace is like being wrapped in a safe, tight blanket where nothing can go wrong and my parents’ death is not all my fault.

“I killed them.” I breathe, my words muted by his flesh as he squeezes me tighter.

“I don’t think you did, Poppy.”

“They were on their way to visit me when they got into the accident. It was my college graduation-”

“And none of that is your fault.” He pulls back slightly but only to press his forehead against my own, “How could you say it was?”

“My mom had the flu…” I can feel tears beginning to well in my eyes but I begged them not to fall, I didn’t deserve to cry about this, not when I caused it, “Miki wasn’t in the car because she was sick and stayed home, but my parents wanted to come so bad because it was my birthday and graduation. They knew how sad I’d be if they didn’t make it.”

“Poppy that is not your fault!” He insists, his hands gliding up to cup my cheeks, “It is not your fault that the people you loved were taken from you too soon. You can’t carry that guilt!”

“You just don’t understand!” I shot back, trying to pull free from his grasp.

Had I really expected Grant to get my pain? Why had I come into this room other than to make myself feel worse than I already did.

What was I thinking?

“I understand more than you know.” He whispers into the dark and my whole body freezes.

I stare back at him and I can see a taut frown etched into his handsome face, marring his flawless features.

“…What?”

“Remember how you said college changes people?” His voice is so quiet I almost can’t hear him even in the still serenity of the night, “Reagan, Eli, and I were best friends. The best friends. Inseparable. From childhood up until the first two years of university, we were together night and day.”

“What changed?”

“It wasn’t just us three, there was a fourth - Reagan’s older sister.”

“…There was a fourth?”

“Talia died our sophomore year because we were idiots. God, we were such freaking idiots…” He trails off, chest rising and falling like a deep, endless wave, “You have to understand Reagan and Talia were basically the same soul in two bodies. Their parents called them Irish twins, because of the small age gap between them, but they were just as close as real twins.”

I stare at him silently, watching as my vision further adjusted and his sharp features became more and more clear in the dark. His eyes were so full of pain that my heart wrenched guiltily. I’d never once suspected that he may be carrying his own burden on those handsome, broad shoulders. And Reagan…

I’d been horrifically closed minded. But behind his smug smirk and brash wit… I never would have imagined he’d ever been hurt.

“And while Reagan and Eli had their little dalliance… so did Talia and I.”

“You loved her.” I gasped in sudden realization, veins running with ice.

He gritted his teeth, his arms tightening around me, “I was going to marry her, Poppy. I had the ring… but she was killed by a drunk driver.”

My parents and his lover had both been stolen.

“That’s awful…” I wrap my arms back around him, hoping to give him back even a shred of the comfort that he’s given me.

“It gets worse.” He mumbles grimly, pressing his lips against the top of my head, “Reagan and Talia weren’t party girls. At the time, I wasn’t big on it either - Talia had been a good influence on me through the years.”

I never would have guessed that now, not after having picked him up totally sloshed at a club.

“But Eli convinced us to go out one night and even though Reagan and Talia weren’t interested, I begged them to come out with us. At first we were having fun… then Talia’s drink got spiked.”

“Spiked?”

“She got roofied. It was scary. One minute she was fine and the next she was all but comatose. We left the party right away, we figured we could get her into bed and she’d sleep it off and be fine the next day. Eli and I helped carry her while Reagan walked in front of us. We never should have gone out that night, Poppy.”

I didn’t ask what happened. I didn’t want to know if he didn’t want to tell me.

But he cuddled me closer to his chest, his lips moving to press against my forehead, “The walk was so short. We could see the dorm when it happened. We thought we were safe. But then Eli realized he didn’t have the keys and we wouldn’t be able to get inside. He ran back towards the party to find them and I… followed him for some reason while Reagan held onto Talia. I guess I thought I’d be able to find them faster than Eli. He was pretty trashed. I turned to tell them we’d be right back when the car ran up onto the sidewalk-”

He stops abruptly, his arms going rigid around me. I could practically see the headlights reflected in his eyes.

How often had he relived that one moment?

“Reagan spent a week in the hospital but Talia-” His voice breaks with my soul.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I cry, tears welling my eyes as my arms gliding around his neck, “You don’t have to say it.”

“I never thought I’d feel the way I did about her ever again. I thought she was it, Poppy. I thought I’d lost love forever. I’ve spent the years since filling that void with alcohol and women and anything I can find just so I don’t ever have to face the pain of losing her.”

I run my fingers down his bare back, my face buried in his neck. His breath slows, body relaxing in my arms as he gazes down at me.

Then in the darkness, his hands run up to my face, tilting my chin back to look up at him, “You make me feel again, Poppy. When I’ with you my heart just…” He trails off and I don’t even need him to finish his words, my soul taking flight.

Suddenly our bodies roll backwards, my head landing lightly on a sea of pillows, my legs twining around his waist.

My whole body quivers as I gaze up at him, seeing even though the dark the intentions of his beautiful, yearning eyes.

That same feeling from before, that desire, has already begun to brew within me once more. The warmth seeps slowly through me, igniting like tiny matches inside my soul and I know that it’s already too late to deny him. I could never deny him.

“I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before-”

I can only just begin to get the words out before his lips cover my own, the words drowning against the soft flick of his tongue against the curve of my lower lip.

The entire world vanishes in his kiss, leaving me senseless and yet every single hair on my body tingling with electricity at the same time. I moan against his lips as he devours me, our bodies rocking together even before our clothes begin to shed.

Unable to wait, I grab at his boxers, yanking at them as his tongue wrestles with my own, feeling every inch as though he’s making a map of me.

He nibbles my lower lip, making me gasp as my back arches against him. His hands run over me, memorizing the curves of my body and cupping my breast through the sheer fabric of the nighty.

Just as my fingers dip desperately into the hem of his boxers, he lightly grabs hold of my wrists and pins them down against the firm mattress, his lips hovering over my own.

“Not tonight.” He whispers against my swollen, bruised lips as he plants another long, hungry kiss on my lips.

It stings, the rejection, but the lust in his lips as he kisses me soothes it away. He wants me, I can feel it, but now is not the right time.

Grant rolls us back over, wrapping me up into his tight, strong arms. My chest heaves, body burning with desire, my heart aching with the pain that both of us have endured and silently carried for all this time.

Finally, we have someone to share it with.