Maizee dipped the oar into the water over and over, the waves quite calm today. Or maybe the waves coming into Getaway Bay were always like this. The shoreline of Lanai was choppier for sure, requiring more attention. But here, she could stroke and think, think and stroke.

She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

She wasn’t sure of a lot of things at the moment. Thus, sea kayaking in the middle of the day, after quitting her job.

Her chest squeezed. She could not believe she’d quit her job. Given up her retirement. Everything she’d worked for nineteen years at Gladstone Financial. One more year and she could’ve qualified for a decent pension, a great severance health insurance package.

She wanted to cry, but there were no tears. She wanted to yell, but her voice remained silent.

She put the oar in the water and pulled, over and over and over. Lawrence should be here with her, as she’d promised him several times to teach him how to sea kayak. Not that there was anything hard about it. She sat in a kayak and rowed around the bay. She’d been around the tip of land between the two bays, and she now faced the huge, twenty-eight story building in Getaway Bay.

Sweet Breeze Resort and Spa. She’d gone to many beach yoga classes on the sand there, and she’d seen Lawrence go inside the hotel once. He was probably friends with the owner of the hotel, both of them being billionaires and all.

She’d even gotten the instructor’s number, especially once Tawny found out Maizee was dating Lawrence, who of course, she’d said her husband was friends with. So Tawny’s husband was probably a billionaire too.

A bitterness filled her mouth. She hadn’t exactly broken up with Lawrence, but they certainly weren’t on speaking terms. She wanted to paddle up to shore, leave her kayak, and go see if he was at the hotel. Be brave and face him. Tell him she loved him, but he’d hurt her when he’d basically ignored her for two days and kept his mouth shut about their relationship to a bank full of employees that he managed.

See what he’d do then.

Instead, she rowed hard on the right, turning away from the beach and facing the open ocean. The sunlight glinted off the crests of the waves in bright, white sparkles that hurt her eyes, even through her sunglasses.

The waves pushed and pulled her, as she let the oar rest across the kayak. She felt just as adrift, willing to go in whatever direction the greatest force was taking her.

But she couldn’t stay out in the kayak forever. So she went back to East Bay where she’d parked and headed home after many hours of sun. Roger greeted her at the door, somehow knowing she’d gone kayaking without him.

“Sorry, bud,” she said, all the energy she had to give to the dog. She showered, scooped the pup into her arms, and took him outside to the hammock. She laid in it with Roger, wishing her memories weren’t full of Lawrence in this yard and this hammock.

She didn’t even have a girlfriend to call and commiserate with. Yes, she’d seen Kara at the coffee shop every single morning, but they hadn’t hung out much. Lawrence came over all the time, and Maizee hadn’t minded.

She did now, and she wondered if she just needed some time to be herself. She hadn’t been alone in years, and she wasn’t sure she even knew how to be alone.

“Maizee?”

She sat straight up, sure she hadn’t heard Lawrence’s voice. She’d started to doze, and maybe she’d dreamt it.

But no, he definitely seemed to be walking toward her, slowing with every step. “Hey,” he finally said, stopping a healthy distance away.

Maizee just stared at him.

“You said I could call when I figured out what I needed to apologize for.”

“I didn’t mean a house call.” She hadn’t done her hair or put on makeup after her shower. All at once, she didn’t care. This was who she was, and Lawrence had always said he liked her just the way she was.

“I’ve called you a few times,” he said.

“I was out on the ocean and haven’t checked my phone.” She wasn’t even sure where it was at the moment.

He took another step forward and then fell back. “I should’ve defended our relationship,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

All at once, Maizee felt like crying.

“We do need to fill out the statements Will wants us to,” he said next, which made Maizee’s emotions dry right up. “And I don’t think you should quit. It makes you look guilty.”

So he’d come to take care of business, not to take care of her. But she nodded, because maybe if she didn’t have to quit, she could put in one more year and then take her retirement.

Problem was, she couldn’t imagine going back to that bank tomorrow, let alone for another twelve months.

Maybe she could transfer again….

She pushed the idea out of her mind. She couldn’t keep running from her problems, because she was the problem, and she couldn’t run and hide from herself.

“Thank you,” she said, wishing she wasn’t in a hammock. She hated trying to get out of a hammock, especially in front of a handsome man she really wanted to be with.

“So you’ll come back tomorrow?”

She nodded and extended her hand toward him. “Help me up, okay?”

He dashed forward and put his hand in hers, and her skin sizzled with heat and electricity still. “Dinner?” he asked, keeping her hand in his.

“Yes,” she said. “I need dinner.”

Maizee returned to the Getaway Bay branch of Gladstone Financial the next day, polished and professional and perfectly put together. She wanted to walk in with a makeup-less face and wearing a pair of jeans, but she simply couldn’t do it. She was programmed to wear skirts and heels and dangly earrings. She actually liked doing so.

She ignored the looks from her co-workers, stopped by Will’s office to pick up the paper she needed to fill out, and clicked her way over to her own office. She closed the door behind her, something she hadn’t done very often in the several weeks she’d been there.

Working through the morning, she managed to get several things done that she should’ve accomplished yesterday. She took a lunch outside of the office, enjoying the autumn sun and the cool breeze.

The whole hour passed, and she stopped by a grilled cheese food truck for something to eat, and then a shaved ice truck with a pretty red-headed woman handing out the treats. When she returned to the bank, everything was back to normal.

Well, as normal as things could be when Lawrence wasn’t in the building. She wondered where he was that day, but he hadn’t texted her and she wasn’t going to initiate the conversation. She had work to do, and she was going to do it.

That evening, she rode her bike along the coastal highway, all the way out to the ranch, where she ordered strawberry lemonade and a burger. Then she biked back, barely making it before darkness consumed the island.

She almost rear-ended a midnight-blue Benz.

“Where’d you go?” Lawrence asked from the front steps.

“Riding,” she said.

He smiled at her warmly, but Maizee felt like something between them had shifted. And it had. She’d shifted. She’d changed.

“Lawrence,” she said. “I think I need to take a page out of your book, and be brave.”

“All right,” he said.

“I need some time.”

“Time?”

“Alone.”

He looked like she’d punched him in the throat. “I—I—”

“Maybe I just need….” She sighed and looked away. “I don’t know what I need, but I do know I need to figure it out. By myself.”

Lawrence pocketed his hands. “So that’s it.”

“For now.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“It means maybe I had just ended one relationship with my boss when I started another one, with an even bigger boss.” Maizee didn’t know what she was saying. “And I don’t want to hurt you, and—”

“You haven’t hurt me.”

“Oh, well, good.”

“Good.” He fished his keys out of his pocket. “So I need to go.”

“Of course.” She walked her bike past his car as he got behind the wheel. The car roared to life in a way she’d never heard before, and he practically shot out of her driveway, obviously never looking back.

Maizee stared into the darkness at his fading taillights, wondering when things between them had gone off the rails, and if she’d ever be able to get them back on track.

The plane touched down on the island of Lanai, and a relief spread through her like a warm blanket covering her internal organs. Her mom would be waiting to pick her up, and they were going to lunch before heading back to the house, where Evie would be waiting for Maizee to help her get ready for her date with Tommy.

Maizee leaned her head against the thick airplane window, mourning the part of her heart that she’d left behind in Getaway Bay. Lanai would always feel like home, but she had enjoyed her time on the Big Island of Hawaii.

She wondered how much of that was due to Lawrence, though. She’d met him on the third day she’d been in Getaway Bay, and they’d spent so much time together since. She tried to put him out of her mind, but he wouldn’t seem to go.

He did have a stubborn streak. And while she’d never been in his office, she knew he was brilliant and hard-working. She’d seen the exhaustion on his face in the evenings, listened to him talk about the Austin Exchange and the deal he was trying to work for a few minutes before he dragged himself back to his penthouse.

So he knew how to work. Knew how to run a huge, global financial company. But he didn’t know how to explore the island, or sea kayak by himself. Maizee found those simple things ironic, and a smile touched her lips as the last of the passengers deplaned. She finally stood and collected her bag from the overhead compartment.

She smiled at the flight attendants, thanked the pilots, and dragged her carryon down the ramp to the cement. Once inside the airport, she stopped in the bathroom and steeled herself to see her mother for the first time in a few months.

She didn’t want to cry, but she felt dangerously close to it already. Sure enough, when she caught sight of her mother’s beautiful, brassy, blonde hair, tears pricked her eyes. “Mom,” she called, and their eyes met.

Maizee hugged her, so glad she’d always have the comfort in these arms. “Hey, Mom.”

“It’s so nice of you to come help Evie,” she said, stepping back and holding onto Maizee’s shoulders. “Jules has been kind of a nightmare already, and the wedding isn’t until next summer.”

Maizee nodded. “She’s always been high-maintenance.”

Her mom laughed and reached for Maizee’s bag. “Well, we all have, haven’t we? I mean, you love jewelry and makeup. Evie loves headbands and anything that sparkles. And Jules is just the worst. She loves lipsticks and glitter and tight dresses. And flowers and water fountains.” She started for the exit. “I keep telling her we can just have the wedding in our yard, but that doesn’t seem good enough for her. Did you know she’s hired and fired three wedding planners already?”

Maizee could actually believe that, and while she wanted to see her sisters again, she was glad she was in Lanai just for the weekend. “There’s a great wedding planning place in Getaway Bay,” she said. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Oh? Be sure to tell Jules about it.” Her mom took a few steps and added, “She’s not listening to anything I say anymore.”

“She’s only been engaged a few weeks,” Maizee said.

“Like I said, bridezilla.” Her mom threw a small smile over her shoulder, but Maizee heard the hurt beneath her mother’s words. Jules would be the first of the sisters to be married, and her mother had probably been looking forward to the weddings of her kids for a long time. After all, she loved fine china and perfectly placed centerpieces and entertaining more than anyone Maizee knew.

She kept the conversation away from Jules during lunch, instead deciding to say, “So I met a man in Getaway Bay.”

Her mother’s fork stopped halfway to her mouth. “You did?”

Maizee nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. “He’s the owner of Gladstone Financial. We hit it off. Instant fireworks. He’s so handsome.” She half-laughed and half-sobbed as tears made another appearance.

“Oh, honey.” After putting down her utensil, her mom covered Maizee’s hand with both of hers. “It’s over already?”

Maizee sniffed. “I mean, maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know how to be…alone, Mom. I was with Winn for so long, and I met Lawrence almost as soon as I got to the island. I hadn’t even started work yet.”

“You know how to be alone,” her mom said, picking up her fork again and stabbing at her chicken salad.

“Not really,” Maizee said. “I dated Chad for four years before that ended. About a month later, I started dating Perry.”

“Now, he was a disaster.”

A laugh exploded out of Maizee’s mouth, because she could only agree. “Yes, he was.” But the truth was, she’d started dating Lynn after that, and then Michael, and then Homer. Some of them were flings, men she spent summers with hiking and laughing and flirting. Sometimes kissing. Sometimes making a real relationship for a few months. Maybe six or nine.

But none had been as long as the one with Winn, and she’d only ever worn one engagement ring. So no matter what her mother said, Maizee actually just did not know how to be alone.

After lunch, they drove to her childhood home, where Evie sat on the front steps, her head bent over her phone. She glanced up when their mom turned into the driveway, and she met Maizee with a smile, a squeal, and a squeeze.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Evie said, linking her arm through Maizee’s. “My hair needs serious help.”

“It’s fine,” Maizee said. She’d always been a bit envious of Evie’s cornsilk hair, and she ran her fingers through it as she said, “I’ll get this curled right up. Tommy won’t be able to keep his hands to himself.”