Eleven
For two weeks, everything seemed to be on even keel and as Julianne turned on the music for her class Saturday morning, all she could think was how she hoped it lasted for a while.
“Good morning, my lovelies! I’m Julianne and this is Zumba! Do we have any first-timers here today?” Julianne said as she began her spiel. Several people raised their hands. “Awesome! I am so glad you decided to join us today! This is a cardio dance class but don’t worry if you don’t have any dance experience – you don’t need any. And don’t worry if you don’t pick up the steps right away because we’ve all been there!”
There was a small round of cheers and she could feel the energy and excitement in the room. Looking out, she spotted where Kayla, Natalie and Harper were all marching in place together. She let out a happy sigh because things were finally getting better between the three of them and she knew that at the end of the class, they’d still be side by side – no more leaving Natalie on her own.
“Okay, let’s all let go of our stress and worries for the next hour and just dance and have fun!” Julianne called out and raised the volume on the music.
For an hour, this was her turf – her happy place, her sanctuary. It felt so damn good. This week she changed up the routine this week and had all new music in place along with new choreography. She ran the entire thing by Gavin last night and he did the whole routine with her in their basement.
This new routine still had her usual fifteen songs, but left out the country and belly dancing and put in some dance hall, jive and swing instead. Gavin had really enjoyed it and they even talked about choreographing a swing dance number for their wedding. It would definitely be fun, but the thought of doing that in her gown just sort of exhausted her. Maybe something a little less lively…
“Brace yourselves,” she called out as the music was getting ready to transition to the new stuff, “we’re going to try something new today – a little Jamaican dance hall! Just follow my lead and remember, you don’t have to be perfect at this! Just have fun!”
Words to live by, she chided herself. If only she could remember that for herself. Most of the time she tried so hard to be the perfect person that she forgot what it was like to have fun. She and Gavin had fun, but it was more of a quiet and reserved sort of thing. And the same thing with the girls. When was the last time they had just gone out and had a wild girls’ night out? When she couldn’t remember right away, she knew it was too long. Probably before Natalie got married.
That’s what she was going suggest to them after class – a girls’ night out! And not a lame dinner and a movie, but a real night out – dinner, drinking, dancing – all of it! True, the thought of more dancing might not be appealing to everyone, but this was choreographed music for fitness; Julianne wanted to go out and listen to something loud in a club where they could just dance for the fun of it!
Now she was excited and couldn’t wait to present the idea to them! They didn’t have anything wedding-related to do today and she only had one class after lunch so…they could go grab breakfast and pedicures if they planned it right.
“You’re all doing great! Isn’t this music fun?” she said as she spun around. “Another new selection coming up for you to try! Now don’t be scared! We’re going to do a little reggaeton and then move into some dances that you’re a little more familiar with! Just keep going!”
Yeah, she loved the mid-music pep talks and knew that sometimes they were what made the difference between people giving up or sticking it out. Choreography was a funny thing and although this was still considered a beginners’ class; not everyone was coordinated or had the rhythm to keep up. It was important to be encouraging and to remind them how it wasn’t a competition and to just have fun with it.
Fun…she couldn’t wait to have some of that for herself tonight. Her mind raced with places they could go to eat and then dance and who was going to drive…maybe they’d all crash at Harper’s. While Julianne knew she had room for everyone at her house, it might be a little awkward for Gavin to wake up to a houseful of women.
Who were hopefully a little hungover.
Never let it be said that she wasn’t considerate of the man she loved. He knew the girls and they knew him and they all went way back, but some things he did not need to be privy to – and that included the after-effects of a girls’ night.
Yes! With any luck, it would be a great night for all of them – something she knew most of them were in desperate need of.
Natalie was still staying at Kayla’s place. There had been some minimal communication between her and Jayce, but Julianne feared this estrangement wasn’t going to end any time soon. She seemed to be handling it well – adjusting to living alone – but there was a sadness to her that Julianne had never seen before.
And Kayla…well…apparently she was trying very hard to adjust to living with Adam. It wasn’t quite the honeymoon either of them thought it was going to be. Although, to be honest, Julianne greatly doubted Kayla had ever considered it to be a honeymoon phase. She moved in with him slightly out of necessity and without taking her usual sweet time to think about it.
Looking out, she caught a glimpse of her sister and smiled. Right now, Harper was probably the only one of them who was looking truly blissful. Things were progressing nicely for her and Brady and he was the perfect distraction for all of the tensions she’d been experiencing with their mother.
And on that note, her parents had turned down three dinner invitations from her and Gavin. Three! Maybe some of the things that were said that night hadn’t quite been forgiven. According to Harper, she had limited her interaction with their mother to texting. She said the only way for her to make sure she didn’t get her feelings hurt were to cut back on how they communicated for now.
Julianne wished she could do the same. Eventually they were all going to have to sit down and deal with this – there was no way she could get married with this much tension and animosity between them.
Glancing at the clock she cursed that time wasn’t moving faster. They could go to the cafe and grab breakfast or they could do the one thing she would normally look down on – they could go to the bakery and grab some muffins and some coffee and enjoy them while getting pedicures.
It sounded damn near like nirvana.
And she was sure no one was going to say no to it.
The music changed again and she smiled brightly. “And everybody mambo!”
****
She was hot, sweaty and exhausted and yet she felt so damn good! Harper waved to her sister and told the girls she’d meet them in the locker room but she was going to see Brady first. She went out to the lobby then up the stairs, and when she saw him sparring in the boxing ring, she was completely mesmerized.
He was literally beating the crap out of his opponent and normally violence of any kind wasn’t her thing, but there was definitely something inherently sexy about the way he looked and moved and sounded.
She almost had to lock her legs to keep from falling to the floor in a near-orgasmic flutter.
With her towel, she wiped away some of her own sweat before resting it over her shoulder. Moving closer to the ring, she thought she could stand here and watch him all day and enjoy every damn second of it. Her mouth went dry as he moved around the space and she had to take a drink from her water bottle to keep herself going.
The bell rang and Harper nearly jumped out of her skin. Brady turned and spotted her. Taking his mouth guard out, he walked toward her and leaned over the ropes to smile down at her.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Hey,” she said and let out a very un-Harper-like giggle. Brady noticed it too because his brow arched in amusement. She cleared her throat and tried to speak. “I mean…hey. How’s it going?”
And now she sounded like a dude. Awesome.
He smiled, climbed through the ropes and hopped down. With a quick kiss, he walked over and grabbed his own water bottle. “How was class?”
“Good. Really good. Jules threw some new moves at us today so it was challenging. The good news is that I didn’t step on anyone’s feet and I didn’t hurt myself so really, it’s a good day.”
He laughed. “Do you often step on people’s feet or harm yourself during class? It’s just Zumba?”
Her eyes went wide. “Just Zumba? I’m sorry…did you say just Zumba?”
Laughing again, he nodded. “I did. Why?”
“Um…have you ever even taken one of those classes? Because let me tell you, they’re hard. Even people who are dancers and coordinated have a hard time so before you go dropping the ‘just’ bomb, maybe you should try it.”
He took his headgear off and smiled smugly at her. “Maybe I will.”
“Good. Because…you know…you…you should.” Oh God, shut up! She yelled at herself. It’s bad enough he’s seeing you now – all sweaty and gross! Now you want him to see you actually stumbling your way through Zumba?
“Next class you go to, I’m there,” he said and took another long drink of water. He put the bottle down and reached out to tuck some of her sweaty hair behind her ear. “So what’s the plan for the rest of the morning? Anything exciting?”
“Not sure yet. I told the girls I’d meet them down in the locker room, but I wanted to come up and say hi first.”
Then he leaned in and kissed her properly. “I’m glad that you did.”
Hell, they were both sweaty so Harper didn’t mind when he pulled her into his embrace. He had on boxing gloves and he didn’t smell too good, but he sure felt good. “What about you? You’ve got clients all day, right?”
“I do. I have an hour between each of them, but not really enough time to go anywhere. So I have my laptop with me and I’m going to do some work during the down time.”
She nodded. Honestly, she still didn’t understand what he did – something with video games and consulting and…after that, she was lost. And the weird thing was, he didn’t really talk about it. In the past, she dated guys who only wanted to talk about themselves and their careers, but Brady was different. They spent a lot of their time talking about her, her job and her interests or talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. Maybe she should show a little more interest in his job…he probably caught on that she didn’t understand his job and rather than explain it to her, he just opted to not talk about it.
But she was going to change that the next time they went out.
“Why don’t you go and see if the girls have anything planned and let me know before you go?” he suggested. “Maybe we can squeeze in lunch or maybe something later on. What do you think?”
She kissed him and smiled. “I’ll be at least twenty minutes…”
He grinned and kissed her again. “I’ll be here.”
With a little pep in her step, Harper made her way down to the locker room and felt a little like she was floating on a cloud – that’s what Brady did for her. He didn’t even have to try because just being near him made her feel good.
“Finally!” Julianne cried when Harper turned the corner by their lockers.
“What? What’s the matter?”
“We’ve been waiting for you,” she said excitedly. “I had this idea for us today.” And then she explained it all to Harper. “So? What do you think?”
Damn. That all sounded really good. Muffins and a pedicure? Um, yes please! “I was just talking to Brady and…”
“Oh, God…”
“Ugh…”
“For the love of it…”
Harper looked at the girls as they groaned at her. “What? What’s wrong with talking to Brady?”
“We want to have a girls ‘night and by you saying that you just talked to Brady, it implies that you’re going to want to bail so you can have a date night,” Natalie whined. “And I really need a girls’ night and it would be great if all four of us went.”
Harper gave her a bland look. “Oh, please…if I don’t go, you’re all still going to have a great time. You don’t need me there for that.”
“That’s not true,” Julianne argued.
Looking at her younger sister, Harper gave her a patient smile. “Need I remind you that I’m the big sister? There was a time when you didn’t even want me hanging out with the three of you.”
“Uh, yeah…when we were in middle school and you were mean to us,” Julianne countered. “So basically, we were twelve and I think we’ve outgrown that.”
“And you really were kind of mean,” Kayla said. “I’m glad you outgrew that.”
Harper chuckled as she pulled her toiletries from her locker. “Or maybe you all stopped being so annoying.”
“Are we really having this conversation now?” Natalie cried. “I’m desperate to go out and do something fun and we’re talking about middle school?” Her voice was getting higher and higher and pretty soon only dogs would be able to hear her.
“Okay, okay,” Harper soothed. “Calm down. All I was saying was how I was just upstairs talking to Brady and we don’t have any definite plans for tonight so I don’t see it as a problem.”
“Yay!” all three cried.
“However…”
“Boo…” all three cried and it made Harper laugh.
Her head fell back as she sighed dramatically. “I’m all for doing the breakfast/muffin/pedicure thing and then going out later, but I’m totally snagging him for lunch so if this was going to be an all-day affair, you’ll have to live without me for the afternoon.”
“No, no, no…,” Julianne said. “We weren’t making it a marathon. So you have our permission to go have lunch with your man.”
“Lunch or a quickie?” Kayla asked with an exaggerated wink.
“Um…out of respect for those of us not having regular sex, please refrain from bragging,” Natalie said primly.
“Just lunch,” Harper said. Together they all walked toward the showers and when Kayla held her back for a moment, Harper looked at her curiously.
“Just lunch? Seriously?” Kayla asked.
With a low laugh, she leaned in and whispered, “Not if I can help it.”
****
Blueberry muffin. Check.
Vanilla Frappuccino. Check.
Feet soaking in sudsy warm water. Check.
Natalie hit the massage button on her chair and sighed happily.
“If this is a dream,” she said, “don’t wake me.”
Julianne sat to her right and Kayla to her left and for several minutes, no one said a word because they were in a state of complete bliss.
“I bet if we opened a spa that had a coffee bar and a bakery, we’d be millionaires,” Harper said. “And at night, the coffee bar would turn into a wine bar.”
“Now you’re talking,” Kayla murmured. “That last addition is what’s going to buy us our vacation home in Hawaii.”
“Mmm…Hawaii,” Julianne said with a sigh. “That would be nice. Can I call dibs on that right now?”
“And can it be right on the beach but also have a pool?” Natalie asked lazily as she sipped her Frappuccino.
“Of course,” Harper said.
“Anything less would just be tacky and not worth it,” Kayla added.
“Good. Then I’m totally on board,” Natalie said as she closed her eyes and reclined slightly in her massage chair.
It was like being on sensory overload, she thought – but only mildly. She had been tense for so damn long that the massage mechanism was painful at first. But now that she was focusing on how good the water jets felt on her feet and how yummy her coffee and muffin were…she finally started to relax. A low moan escaped before she could stop it.
And she didn’t even care.
“So where are we going tonight? Any thoughts on that?” Kayla asked no one in particular.
“I want dinner and I want dancing or something equally fun,” Julianne responded. “I just feel like it’s been forever since we went out and were just…you know…stupid.”
“You want to be stupid?” Harper asked, leaning forward in her chair. “Why? What’s going on? Are you stressing again? Is being stupid the new kickboxing?”
They all laughed at that.
“Everything’s fine,” Julianne said. “It just seems like life is crazy right now for all of us and I thought it would be fun to go out some place where the only agenda is to have a good time. No shopping for dresses or talking to caterers and photographers or trying on shoes…”
“Bite your tongue,” Natalie said. “There is never a wrong time to try on shoes.”
“Okay, you’ve got me there,” Julianne agreed. “All I’m saying is that it seemed like a good time for us to go out and just…”
“Be stupid?” Kayla inserted. “Because I’m totally on board with that.”
“Yay!” Julianne replied with a big smile.
Conversation died down for a few minutes as the nail technicians all came over and started working on their feet. Natalie chose a bright coral color for her toes and noted that Harper went with red, Kayla with blue and Julianne went for the French.
So different and yet…they fit. This was her circle, her group, her squad.
“I know we’re going to be talking pretty much all night, but I have to ask,” Julianne began, “have you talked to Jayce lately?”
“I have,” Natalie said as she lifted her foot out of the water. “We’re going to get coffee tomorrow.”
“What?” all three of them cried.
Her eyes were closed and she kept them that way. “Yup. We’re meeting tomorrow afternoon to talk.”
“When did you decide this?” Kayla asked.
“Yesterday.”
“And you’re just telling us this now?” Julianne asked. “I can’t believe you didn’t lead with that this morning before class.”
“That’s neither here nor there,” Harper chimed in. “The bigger question is if you’re okay with it. Do you need us there for backup?”
Eyes still closed, Natalie shook her head. “I don’t think that would help anything and would probably just make Jayce self-conscious.”
“Still, Nat,” Kayla said. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“He’s still my husband,” she replied reasonably. “Things suck right now and I hate it and it still makes me angry that I let it get to this point, but I can’t avoid him forever. And meeting in a public place is really the right way to go. I don’t want to go to the house and be swayed into moving back in and I don’t want him to come to Kayla’s because…well…I just don’t.”
“I would have had to insist on being there if you did,” Kayla said firmly.
“I don’t think anything bad is going to happen,” Natalie said, doing her best to sound calm and reasonable. “But I do think we need to figure out where we go from here.”
“And what are you thinking?” Julianne asked. “I mean, obviously you want to find a way to work this out, right?”
“Um…”
“Have you thought about counseling?” Harper asked. “That could really be a good thing – having a mediator there so there’s no miscommunication.”
“Well…”
“Or maybe the two of you can go talk to your pastor,” Kayla suggested. “You went to pre-marital counseling. Maybe you should call your church and see about doing some therapy with him?”
Natalie took a long sip of her beverage, then opened her eyes and forced herself to say the one thing she’d been afraid to say out loud.
“I don’t think I want counseling. I think I want a divorce.”
It was as if the entire salon froze – no one spoke and all eyes seemed to be on her. If there were a record playing somewhere, the needle would have dragged across the vinyl and come to a screeching halt.
With a sigh, she turned and looked at Julianne and then Kayla and Harper and shrugged. “So…”
“Um, Nat? Sweetie?” Julianne said quietly and Natalie was relieved when everyone in the salon resumed their conversations. “That’s a pretty major decision. Why…I mean…when did you come to this conclusion?”
“I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. I never had the chance to just be alone,” she began and realized how sad that sounded. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. I know a lot of people do that kind of thing, but being on my own these last few weeks has been…freeing. I’m not always picking up after someone else or having to worry about making everything perfect for someone else. It’s really very nice to just be responsible for my own needs and happiness.”
When no one said anything, she began to reconsider her thoughts.
“Is that too selfish? Is that wrong?”
“No, no, no,” Kayla said after a minute. “It’s not selfish or wrong or any of that. You’re entitled to feel how you feel.”
And Natalie knew Kayla was speaking from experience.
“How…? I mean, do you know what you’re going to say tomorrow?” Julianne asked.
She shook her head. “Not a clue. I’m going to wait and see what he has to say. For all I know, he’s going to ask for a divorce first.”
“I don’t think so,” Julianne said firmly. “Gavin said that Jayce was too upset – and that tells me that he loves you, Nat. Hear him out.”
“Whose side are you on, Jules?” she said with a bit of snap. “I mean seriously, this is huge for me. I don’t want to be someone’s doormat and you’re telling me to hear him out?”
Julianne gave her a sour look. “I’m saying that you’ve been together too long to just walk away without at least trying to talk to each other. I’m not saying you have to go back to him. That’s not what I’m saying at all. But what I am saying is that you need to go into this tomorrow with an open mind and at least listen to what he has to say.”
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
What she wanted was for her friends to take her side – to understand her and tell her that she deserved better. There was no way Natalie was going to admit that the thought of seeing Jayce had her beyond nervous. He knew her weaknesses – which was her main reason for asking to meet in a neutral location. Considering how those last weeks were before she moved out, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that if they were alone at home, she’d end up naked and riding him like a wild woman.
And God did she want to.
Bad Natalie!
“Is there anything we can do for you, Nat?” Harper asked.
“You’ve all already done so much,” she replied. “Between the support and Kayla giving me a place to stay and going out tonight, I couldn’t ask for more.” Then she turned toward Julianne. “And your suggestion for a girls’ night out came at the perfect time. I think I need this tonight so that I can face my husband tomorrow. This will be the perfect distraction. Thank you.”
Julianne smiled but Natalie could tell that she wasn’t overjoyed at her revelation.
And right now, she couldn’t find it in her to care.
She knew what she had to do. It was time for Natalie to put herself first, to prove that she could do it and be okay with being alone.
No matter how much she missed Jayce.
****
“This is way better than lunch,” Harper panted and then giggled as Brady gently bit her inner thigh. “So much better…”
Brady had some serious skill with his tongue and Harper was so glad that she suggested them racing back to her place to eat instead of going to the cafe.
And yes, she had totally meant for them to feast on each other rather than sandwiches.
“Yeah, you are,” he murmured against her heated skin and with one slow swipe of the tongue, Harper soared. Her entire body quivered and shook and Brady just kept going until she was practically weeping for him to stop. Looming over her, he kissed her and damn if that wasn’t the launch button all over again.
A few minutes later, they lay breathlessly beside each other and all she could think of was calling the girls and canceling because she didn’t think she’d be able to move from this spot.
Brady turned his head and gave her a smug smile. “So good, Harper. You taste so damn good.”
She knew she blushed from head to toe, but she was too spent to form words yet.
“Did you all decide where you’re going tonight?” he asked.
She nodded and he laughed – deep and low and knowingly.
“Movies?” he asked and she shook her head.
“Shopping?”
Another head shake.
“Hmm…bowling?”
This time she looked at him and frowned. “You’re not even trying,” she forced herself to say.
“Well, damn,” he said with another laugh. “I was hoping you’d be too weak to talk for a little bit longer. That was good for my ego.”
She rolled toward him and kissed his chest – one of her favorite spots on his body. “You have no idea how much energy that took.”
Wrapping her in his arms, he held her close. “I have to get back soon.”
She sighed. “I know. I wish you didn’t.”
“Am I going to see you later on at all?”
Harper shook her head. “The girls are all going to crash here. I’m the designated driver since I’m the only one with my shit together.”
Brady pulled back and looked at her with confusion. “Um…I’m sorry. What?”
She laughed and kissed his chest again before explaining. “Julianne’s got wedding stress. Natalie’s got marriage stress. And Kayla has living-with-her-boyfriend stress.”
He grinned. “And what do you have, Harper?” he asked thickly, one of his hands moving up to anchor in her hair.
“I have a man who is sexy as hell, who makes me happy, who makes me smile and satisfies me until I can’t even speak.”
He maneuvered them until she was sprawled on top of him. “Good answer.”
“It’s true,” she said softly, looking at his amazing blue eyes, his handsome face. “I sat there today and listened to the three of them talk about all the things they’re going through and part of me felt guilty.”
“Why?”
“I know we all have our thing,” she said. “For me, it’s normally my mom making me feel like a failure. But for the most part, it’s minimal and I can avoid it if I choose to. Kayla can move out and leave Adam, but that’s not what she wants. They’re just in that awkward new phase and trying to figure out how to live together.”
“How hard can it be?”
“You don’t know Kayla very well. She’s a little…independent and…emotionally detached.”
“Yikes. That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?” he asked.
But Harper shook her head. “That’s putting it mildly. Kayla’s all about her career, and people, emotions, connections? They all come in miles behind. She and Adam have been sex buddies for years and she missed all the clues that he wanted more because she was just focused on the sex part.”
Beneath her, Brady arched his back.
Now she was focusing on the sex part…
She did her own moving and pressed against his growing erection. “Unless you’re planning on canceling your next training session, you should be careful with what you’re doing,” she teased lightly.
That only seemed to encourage him.
Before she knew it, they were done talking; they were done looking at the clock and, as far as she could tell, he was going to have a whole lot of explaining to do for missing his training session.
So yeah, she was totally happy to be the one with her shit together.