Each break time at school, I sit in the same place with my friends Emma and Erin. We’ve claimed a spot on a fallen log that borders the overgrown meadow that backs onto the school grounds. We're not part of the cool girls, nor part of the 'in' crowd. I love my flowers, Emma loves music, and Erin is into words. We each have our little quirks. I think that's why we work well as a trio. The three nerds instead of musketeers. Everyone else orbits us, never noticing or even caring that we’re there.

The weather is dry today, despite the dark clouds on the horizon threatening to bring rain, and the yard quickly fills as everyone tries to make the most of it. Wales in autumn and winter can be pretty wet, dreary and cold. But today feels fresh and crisp.

A new day. A new world.

Galen sits on a low wall full of others from his year. He is part of the cool crowd. He's one of them, not us.

Today, his white-blond hair is covered with a black beanie hat, and it only serves to make his emerald eyes pop against his tanned skin.

He claps another boy on the shoulder, smiling at something he’s said, and gets up from his position, walking away towards the school on his own. I couldn't tell you why I do it, but I stand quickly, wave goodbye to my friends, and push my way into the crowd. Everyone is gossiping about the latest pairings and hook-ups, all stuff that doesn’t interest me. My eyes are fixed on him.

The last time I spoke to Galen wasn't pleasant, and I know it’s weird for me to approach him like nothing has happened between us. Plus, I'm two years younger than him, and he has every right to ignore me. I'm nothing to him. Nothing.

Maybe it’s because I feel guilty about the baby. Maybe it's a whole other reason, but something encourages me to do this. To see if he’s okay.

His head is down as I approach, but as if sensing me, he freezes, lifting his gaze to look at me. His jaw tightens and he stands taller. His face falling into a blank stare, but I can see the fatigue in his eyes, and the dark circles beneath them that do nothing to diminish his good looks.

I want to offer some words of comfort for his loss. After all, the baby was going to become part of his family, but remorse chokes away my voice. Unlike my initial reaction, I do feel awful about the baby, but I can't stop hoping for the ‘blessing in disguise.’

She might come home now.

I look around for some flowers. I know that after this I'll need one. I'll need to tell my sins to each petal and hope that they absolve me.

Small clumps of daisies grow in the grass that edges the rugby field. I breathe easier knowing that I'll pick one later.

If you put daisies with primroses, they symbolise childhood. If you put them with moss, they signify a mother's love.

She’s lost her baby.

Galen catches me staring towards the daisies.

"Why do you have to be so strange?" his asks with less bite that I think he intended. Besides, if he wanted to hurt me, he’d have to come up with something better than that. I know I’m different. He doesn’t need to point out the obvious. I glance away, but when I look back, Galen is staring at me carefully like I’m a specimen in a Petri dish.

"Mum said you like flowers."

"I do," I confess. "But it's more than that. I need them."

He stares at me perplexed. I know he thinks I'm weirder than he did before, and I wonder why I'm being so honest with him. I should probably walk away. This wasn’t a good idea.

"Why did you come and find me?"

I throw his words from that day back at him. "Because it's really fucking shit."

What I don't say is what my heart whispers.

It's her shit, and she needs to clean it up.

"You should know that she misses you.” He says before shrugging and adding, “Not that I’m bothered if you don’t ever come back, but she is.”

This was a bad idea.

I turn around without replying and give him my back, only glancing briefly at the daisies in the grass.

I’ll pick one later.

Erin shimmies over when I return, so I can sit back down on the log. Neither one of them asks me why I went over and spoke to Galen. It's not that they don't care, I think we all have our secrets, and they don't want me prying into theirs.

I fiddle with the clasp of my bag, and Emma coughs to gain my attention. "He's cute."

"He's not cute. He's Galen."

“You could ask him to take you out?”

“My mother just moved in with his father,” I say deadpan.

“So? There’s a school dance coming up, he could take you to that.”

“I’m not going to the dance.”

"C’mon,” she groans. “It’s the first one of the school year, we could all go together?"

Erin stays quiet. Clever girl. She knows just as well as I do that out of the three of us, there isn't one who will be going to the dance.

We’re the three nerds.

A school dance is no place for us.