CHAPTER 11
After the gifts and supplies were unloaded and carried in, Dev had another thoughtful surprise. He had bought rolls, pies, and a fully cooked roast with vegetables at Tomlinson’s Restaurant and charged two of the hands with carefully carrying the warm meal home.
“I knew it would be late by the time we got here,” he told Julie as the boxes of food were placed on the table. “I ordered us up a good meal. Most of the men ate in town, but I wanted to wait and eat here. At home. With my bride-to-be.” He grinned at her.
“I—I’m so thankful. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Tired?” he asked, slipping an arm around her waist.
“I feel like I’ve lived a week in the past twenty-four hours, and I bet you do, too.”
He nodded. “I need to go up and see Alex.”
“He’s probably asleep. After his fever broke, he’s eaten a little today and Doctor Tanner says he’s going to be fine. Just that he—he needs a place to rest and recover, he’d lost so much blood. And he sleeps a lot, but Doc says that’s normal, and felt it was all right to take his leave of us.”
The men started to file out, but Dev stopped them, asking them to wait a moment. Then he turned to Julia. “I haven’t had a chance to introduce you to Reverend Sites, Julie. I talked him into coming out here tonight in the hope that you’d agree to—well, to marry me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no.”
The men chuckled, but Dev’s gaze burned into Julia’s. “Believe me, I thought about that plenty.” He took a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you formally, but if I get down on my knee, these fellows will laugh themselves silly. Anyhow…if you’ll have me—ah—heck! Julia Jackson, will you marry me?”
• ♥ •
She wanted that! Oh, how she wanted to be Mrs. Devlin Campbell! But memories of Helena’s loveless marriage of convenience hovered, refusing to be banished. By marrying someone who didn’t love her, she was condemning herself to the same fate, wasn’t she? But, what choice did she have, truthfully? A nurse for Doctor Tanner. A waitress…both honest positions.
But the truth was, she was already falling in love. With Dev Campbell.
“Dev—” Her voice cracked on his name. She closed her eyes for a moment. How could she tell him nothing would please her more than to become his wife? Be a real mother figure to Jamie and Lauralee, and mold the four of them into a strong family…A beautiful home of her own—a kitchen stocked with the foodstuffs she needed to make delicious meals, and maybe even have a garden of her own, come spring— All dreams she almost didn’t dare to hope for.
But would a one-sided love be enough for her?
He watched her, stricken, as she struggled to put her thoughts into words—and in front of the whole bloody world, it seemed, that stood before her—all of them awaiting her answer. She wanted to know if love was a possibility—for him.
She’d always felt like an afterthought—the youngest, by far, in their family. A burden to be cared for. Would Helena have married Zion Redmond if she hadn’t felt responsible for Julia? What was “loveable” about her? She’d never thought about it quite like that. Was there anything at all?
She wasn’t beautiful; at least, she’d never thought of any of her features as remarkable. She was not especially talented in any regard, though she supposed she did many things passably well—well enough to run a household such as this.
“Dev, I—”
There was hurt in his eyes. It was as if she could, for an instant, see into his shredded soul. And it didn’t frighten her; it made her want to take him in her arms and shove his pain away.
Understanding dawned on him. “Don’t be afraid, Julie. We’re gonna have a good life. I can at least promise you that.”
At least. Maybe that was the best he could do, for now, anyway…maybe forever. She couldn’t make him love her, but she could love him—and she would.
“I would be honored to be your wife, Dev,” she said softly, and this time, it was she who pulled him close for a kiss. In front of the whole bloody world.
• ♥ •
The brief wedding passed in a blur for Julia. She’d always dreamed of a beautiful, formal wedding. She remembered the day Helena had sold Mama’s wedding gown. Helena had cried at the pittance they’d gotten for it, but at least they’d had food on the table that night.
Dev and Julia had stood in front of the sparsely-decorated Christmas tree as Reverend Sites had performed the brief ceremony before the ranch hands.
Dev hadn’t balked when the reverend had asked Dev to vow to love, honor, and cherish Julia to the end of their days—Julia had paid careful attention to the way Dev reacted, and the tone in the words he repeated.
Then, it was her turn, followed by the reverend pronouncing them husband and wife.
And…the kiss—not the heated kisses they’d shared before, but one that promised Julia the future she’d longed for—of safety, shelter, and security.
Still, the question niggled. Would love ever come?
The hands took their leave, all but Tom Red Deer, who had offered to see Reverend Sites back to town. He stood by the door, waiting, as the reverend took his leave of the newlyweds.
Tom nodded at Dev from across the room, giving his boss a smile that reminded him of their earlier conversation about the wedding bells by New Year’s. And it had happened, just as Tom had predicted.
• ♥ •
And now, he and Julie were alone. They stood at the doorway as Tom and the reverend mounted up and rode away into the frigid December night.
Julie shivered beside him, and Dev drew her back inside, closing the door.
“Are you hungry?” Dev asked, attempting some semblance of normalcy. Why had she hesitated when he’d formally proposed to her? It had stung. He’d thought, for more than a faltering moment, she was going to refuse. But why? She’d already said yes on the porch. And there was no mistaking the intent—the feeling—in her kisses.
Why had she hesitated? And why had such sadness come over her expression when she’d looked at him?
Now, she glanced up at him with a natural bit of nervousness and nodded. “That roast smells delicious. That was so thoughtful of you, Dev. Thank you.”
They walked toward the kitchen, and Julie took plates down while Dev unwrapped the packaging Vita Tomlinson had put the food in.
“It may be cold, by now,” he muttered, just for something to say in the silence.
Julie laughed. “I will eat it if it has ice on it. It’s going to be wonderful, from the aroma.”
“No ice—yet,” Dev assured her, with a chuckle. Why? The earlier questions wouldn’t leave him.
“Alex is doing much better,” Julie said, pouring coffee as Dev dished up some of the vegetables and meat on their plates.
“You said that earlier,” he replied. “That’s good to know.” He gave a long, heavy sigh. His eyes met hers as she came to the table, bringing their cups. “Alex can stay as long as he needs.”
She smiled. “And…after that? What about as long as he wants?”
Dev shrugged. “I suppose that’s a possibility,” he answered noncommittally. He pulled out her chair, seeing her seated before he took his own.
“It was so good to see you ride in. I was worried,” she said. He had picked up his fork to eat, and she gave him a reproachful look. “We should say grace—”
He laid his fork down and shook his head. “I need to know why, first. Why you hesitated.”
She knew what he meant. He could tell by the way she glanced away quickly to look at nothing.
She was silent for a moment, then, “So much has happened. In so short a time, too.” She sounded wistful more than anxious or afraid, Dev thought.
“I know you’re probably used to—more. A plantation home, I’m guessing.”
She shook her head. “We lived in town. In Atlanta. By God’s grace, our home was not burned in the war. It was used as a hospital, and spared for that reason. But my brother lost it in his gambling fever.”
Dev nodded his remembrance at the mention of the irresponsible Jerome’s gambling problem, his own ire rising at the very thought of Julie’s brother managing to turn both of his sisters out into the street—ah, well. He’d known others with that same burning in their blood. It was the Jackson sisters’ sad misfortune to fall victim to their brother’s weakness.
“It was a beautiful home,” Julie went on, her voice warm with memories. “I—hated to leave it, when Jerome—lost it. More than giving up the place, I was sorrier to lose the security, the memories…the sense of peace I’d had.” She shook her head at her own musings. “Silly, I know. Growing into adulthood means losing some of those things, anyway.”
Dev gave a careless shrug. “Some of us were never so fortunate to have those things from the beginning.” He smiled at the stricken look she gave him.
“Dev, I’m sorry. Here I am, blathering on about my lost home, and—”
He held up a hand. “I enjoy hearing you ‘blather’ Mrs. Campbell.” He gave her a hooded look. “You still haven’t answered my question, though, about what took you so long to say ‘yes’ that second time. And what about that sadness I saw in your eyes?”
“I suppose every woman hopes for love in their life,” she said matter-of-factly.
Dev was reminded of Lauralee in that instant, and her no-nonsense way of speaking. But in Julie’s case, he was sure that demeanor covered up some raw feelings.
“You—don’t think love is possible for you and me?”
Julie’s face immediately colored as she looked down. “Goodness—we need to eat, Dev. The food truly will be icy.”
“God bless this bounty placed before us,” Dev said quickly.
“Amen,” she responded, bowing her head.
Dev almost smiled, but didn’t want to embarrass her further. Still, he needed answers. A meal might relax both of them. He was so tired, but felt wound up tight.
They ate in silence for a few seconds, then Julie surprised him.
“I hope, someday soon, there can be love between us, Dev. I—had foolish ideas about marriage. I was a young girl, dreaming of marrying someone who would take me to grand balls, and dance with me. Someone who would kiss my hand in a courtly way and love me—” She broke off, setting her fork down to look at him as he ate. “I had no idea what love meant. Now, I wonder if I ever—” She stopped herself, looking down at the gold band he’d placed on her finger. “I didn’t even have a real ring for you. I’m afraid you’ve made yourself a terribly poor bargain in me.”
Dev reached to take her hand. “No, I didn’t, Julie. I just need to know what you were thinking when you hesitated. You gave me a scare,” he admitted teasingly. “Especially there in front of the men.”
“I’m sorry. I guess it did seem as if I were reluctant. But it wasn’t that, at all. If there was any uncertainty, please know, it—it was only a bit of foolish worry on my part.”
“You know I can provide for you and Lauralee. You know—at least, I hope you do—that I will never mistreat you.”
She nodded, and he continued.
“I appreciate the way you’ve stepped in and taken over the running of the household and Jamie’s care.”
She looked up at him, then, tears shimmering in her eyes. “But love, Dev,” she said quietly. “Will we ever have that between us?”
“Julie—” He stood, pulling her up from her seat. “Look…I’m rough and tumble. I never learned those ‘courtly ways’ you mentioned. I don’t dance. And my manners are pretty basic—but I do have them. I may not be what passes for a gentleman in your old life, but here—I’ll keep you safe, try to make you happy, and do my best to live up to those vows we said earlier. What love may come our way, we’ll snatch it and hang on—cherish each other, and treasure the memories we make.”
Her arms encircled his neck and she laid her head on his shoulder, right where it belonged. He felt her shake, and knew she was crying. And he figured she had the right. She’d been kicked out of her own familiar world and come halfway across the continent to join a man she didn’t know. She’d brought a smile on her face, a willing heart, and a bundle of energy in Miss Lauralee. He smiled as he remembered the little girl’s ferocious first greeting when he’d blown in out of the snowstorm.
Within a few short days, Julie had gone through the scare of having her niece kidnapped and had only a man she barely knew to pin her hopes on for Lauralee’s safe return. A wounded stranger had shown up at their door, and she’d gotten married—tying herself to what she expected might be a loveless marriage to the end of her days. Yeah, she had a reason to cry. Her world had just turned over, and she wasn’t sure it would ever right itself again.
Right then, Devlin Campbell knew he’d do whatever it took to make that happen.