Chapter Twenty One
Fiona spent most of her day meeting clan members and learning her way around Castle Làidir. Làidir was not as large as Castle Creagan, but she was beautifully imagined with four towers surrounding the keep, connected by bridges, complete with parapets. The chambers were all generous in size. Many boasted glazed arched windows. The woven rushes throughout the hall and family rooms were fresh enough, but, as far as she could tell, they had never been sprinkled with herbs. It was natural for her to address such issues, and it had been a challenge to hold her tongue throughout the day. Jamie had yet to establish her role at Làidir, but that would have to wait. Having glimpsed her laird from a distance throughout the day, she knew his attention was where it should be—helping the recent victims of the MacKenzie raids and planning their clans’ counter attack.
At nightfall, Julia came to her in the solar.
“Come with me, my lady. I will take ye to yer room so that ye might settle in for the night.”
Fiona had yet to view the lady’s quarters, and so she eagerly followed. But when the maid swung open the door to Jamie’s chamber, Fiona hesitated. “Is this right?”
“Excuse me, my lady?”
“I mean to say, are ye certain our laird wishes me to sleep here, in his chambers?”
“Aye, my lady. The wardrobe over there is empty. There will be plenty of space when yer clothing and affects arrive. Is there something wrong?”
“Nay, ‘tis just…I am just surprised.”
“Isn’t it obvious,” Julia said with a coy smile. “He wants ye close to him.”
Fiona blushed, pleased by the idea of Jamie wanting to keep her close, but then she frowned.
“What is wrong, my lady?” Julia asked before circling around her to untie the laces of her overdress.
Fiona shook her head. “Nothing,” she lied. A tightness filled her chest. What if Jamie wanted to keep her close because he still didn’t trust her? What if it was all a lie—the truce, his kindness, his vow never to hurt her.
“Enough!”
“Forgive me, my lady. I’m nearly finished,” Julia exclaimed, her fingers working at a sudden frenzy.
Fiona turned and gently clasped the maid’s hands. “Ye must forgive me for startling ye. I was admonishing myself, not ye.”
Slowly, the tension eased from Julia’s shoulders. “For a moment, I thought ye might not be as kind as I’ve judged ye to be.”
Fiona smiled to put her maid at ease, but then she expelled a slow breath. “Trust is a funny thing, isn’t it? Ye can’t trust someone a little. Either ye trust them or ye don’t. Ye must leap with yer whole heart to escape the trap that is suspicion.”
Julia eased Fiona’s surcotte down her arms. “I don’t ken much about leaping, and I’ve never given my heart away. But I do know what I saw today—a hall filled with MacLeods cheering for a MacDonnell.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “My mother used to pray for such a day, may God rest her soul.”
“May God rest her soul,” Fiona repeated.
After Julia helped her remove her tunic, the maid curtsied and started to leave, but she whirled around when she reached the door.
“If I may be so bold, my lady,” Julia blurted.
Fiona smiled. “Ye can always speak yer mind with me.”
The young maid held her gaze, her eyes bright. “Trust is earned, and ye have mine, my lady.”
Fiona’s heart swelled. She pressed her lips tight against the sudden rush of emotion. “Thank ye, Julia,” she choked out. “Yer words mean more to me right now than ye could possibly know.”
Julia smiled, dipping into a deep curtsy. Then she turned and left.
In that moment, Fiona resolved not to give herself over to false imaginings. There was no reason to doubt Jamie. He had earned her trust the moment he championed her to his people.
Fiona wandered about the room while she ran a comb through her hair. She studied the tapestries, which appeared no less gruesome than they had the night before. She could only assume the violent subjects were chosen for the same reason the demons had been carved into the hearth—to frighten away the fairfolk. Her gaze scanned the laird’s dark chamber. She imagined what she would do to brighten the walls. The idea thrilled her. With her laird’s permission, she could bring new life to the MacLeod fortress.
She was standing in front of the hearth when Jamie walked in. Smiling, she turned and started walking toward him, but then she remembered that she was clad in naught but her sheer kirtle. The comb slipped from her fingers when she crossed her arms over herself, hiding her body. He hastened to the bedside, grabbing one of the smaller furs before he moved to her side and wrapped the soft blanket around her shoulders.
“Ye seemed cold,” he said, smiling knowingly.
A tingling of warmth spread throughout her body. “Thank ye,” she said, gazing up at the masculine contours of his perfectly chiseled jaw. His golden hair gleamed in the firelight, making his amber eyes shine. He strode to the basin and splashed water on his face.
“Ye’re weary,” she observed.
He pulled his plaid from his shoulder to wipe his face. Then he let the fabric hang over his belt, leaving his chest bare. Her gaze followed the sinewy lines of his stomach and the corded ridges of muscles across his shoulders and arms. Then she shifted her gaze back to his face. Again, she glimpsed his weariness.
“I saw ye today meeting with the grieving families in the hall,” she said. “Yer tenderness moved me.” Her gaze dropped to the ground. “I’m so very ashamed for having thought so ill of ye.”
“Nay, lass,” he said, coming forward and taking her free hand. “My thoughts were no better, but we both must turn our gazes forward. We’ve cast off the wearisome cloak of hatred. Now, better days are ahead of us.” He kissed the back of her hand. “Look forward with me.”
She smiled. “Not too far forward. This is the first chance I’ve had to speak with ye all day.”
He took her hand. “Join me a while,” he said, leading her over to the bed.
Clutching the fur close with her free hand, she followed and sat beside him.
He shifted to face her. Slowly, he reached out and tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, causing her breath to hitch. She swallowed hard.
“As I was going about my day, ye never strayed far from my thoughts,” he said, his voice low and familiar. “I’m sorry we did not have more time together.”
“No matter,” she said, breathlessly. “There is much to be done to safeguard our clans.”
Dear God above, but he was so close now!
She breathed deep his masculine scent. He grazed his fingers down her cheek, sending a shiver coursing up her spine.
His hands were so big and strong. Just one day ago, she had feared his strength. Never could she have imagined him capable of such tenderness.
“Why are ye blushing?” he asked softly.
His gaze held hers captive. She swallowed hard as feelings, unfamiliar and intoxicating, coursed through her. She lifted her shoulders in answer. “I…I don’t know what to say or think. I can barely breathe.”
He drew closer, resting his hand on her lower back. Her breath caught in her throat.
“Ye’re not still afraid of me?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nay, ‘tis just…I…I’m barely clad, sitting next to ye on the bed, and…yer hands, yer touch…”
“I am yer husband. Is it not natural for me to touch ye?”
Her blush deepened. “Aye, ye’re my husband, but for some reason I’m trembling, and my heart is racing.” Her hands flew to cover her face. “I’m making no sense. Ye must think me mad.”
Gently, he tugged her hands away. She met his gaze.
“We are married, but ye’re still a maid. Yer response to my touch is natural and pleases me enormously. But do not fret. Remember, we are just getting to know each other.” He cupped her cheek. “Right now, I’m learning that yer skin is as soft as silk.” He leaned close, breathing deeply. “Yer hair smells of lavender and honey.” A smile tugged at his lips. “That I already knew.” He pressed a slow, soft kiss to her cheek, his lips full and warm. She closed her eyes against the rush of feeling that shot through her. Her heart quaked. She dropped her gaze. His scent surrounded her. She wet her lips and clutched the blanket to keep her hands from shaking.
“I can’t breathe,” she blurted.
Brows drawn, he crooked his thumb under her chin, gently forcing her to meet his gaze. “Mayhap, we should just talk for a while.”
She expelled a long breath and nodded.
He scooted back, lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. A lazy smile tugged at one side of his lips. “Let’s start with a simple question. How old are ye?”
She shifted to face him, bringing her knees into her chest. “I am eight and ten. And ye?”
“I am seven and twenty,” he answered.
“Ye’re nearly ten years my senior,” she pointed out.
He shrugged. “That is not such a great difference. I’ve heard of lady’s marrying men that were forty or more years their senior.”
Fiona shuddered. “How dreadful.”
“I agree,” he said. Then he rolled onto his back, interlacing his fingers beneath his head. “What shall I ask ye next?” He sat up. They locked eyes. “What do ye love?”
She smiled, the tension easing from her shoulders. “Baby animals, riding, my duties as lady.”
He seemed to consider her for a moment. At length, he said, “Both my parents died from a fever that swept through the village. I was but ten years of age, which means Castle Làidir has been without a lady for nigh on two decades.”
She glanced about the room. Two days ago, she never would have dared to utter the words that were now on the tip of her tongue. She took a deep breath. She needed to leap—“If ye don’t mind me saying so, yer keep could use a feminine touch.”
He smiled. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure than for ye to take on the true responsibilities of lady of the keep.”
Her heart drummed in her chest. She threw her arms around his neck. “I will not disappoint ye,” she promised.
~ * ~
He held her close, then wove his fingers through her hair, bringing his lips a breath away from hers. She looked up at him. In her eyes he saw an exquisite mix of innocence and curiosity. Slowly, tenderly, he kissed her, desire coursing through him. She was everything woman with her soft curves and everything beautiful with her compassionate heart. He had glimpsed her throughout the day while she toured the grounds and castle and met his kinfolk, and he had noted the care with which she spoke to Julia and the other servants. In her heart was love. It shone in her eyes when she greeted his kin. He could not believe he had been so blind to her goodness.
A soft moan escaped her lips, making his body hard. He wanted to kiss her deeper, harder, to reach her very soul. She softened in his arms, tempting him. But he forced himself to stop, his kiss never reaching the promised heights of passion. He didn’t want to rush her. More than anything, he didn’t want to frighten her. He stood up from the bed and walked over to the basin and splashed water on his face.
What he needed at that moment was a dip in the cold river.
Taking a deep breath, he returned to the bed and laid down, pulling her into his arms. Her hands pressed flat against his chest.
“May I touch ye?” she whispered.
He groaned inwardly. God’s blood, but he had never wanted a woman more.
“Of course ye can. ‘Tis yer right as my wife.”
She reached out a tentative hand and lightly grazed a thin scar that slashed across his chest. Then she touched another that puckered the skin on his shoulder.
“Ye bear the marks of a warrior,” she said softly as she trailed her fingertips down his stomach.
“Aye,” he rasped, his voice strained. Hunger seared his soul.
“How did ye come by them?”
“I have fought in many battles.”
Her fingers dipped just beneath the waist of his plaid. “All right,” he blurted, gently clasping her wandering hand in his. “Yer touch is driving me wild.”
She beamed at him. “Is it?”
“My body aches for ye.”
Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt ye.”
He cupped her cheek, marveling at her innocence. “’Tis a good pain, but it will test my restraint.” He curled around her, pulling her back into his chest. “Let us rest. We can discover more about each other on the morrow.”
She nestled into his embrace, her soft bum wiggling into him. Again, he groaned.
“Are ye sure ye’re all right?” she asked.
“Aye, to be sure,” he managed to say, his whole body tense.
Long after she had fallen asleep, Jamie held her, his eyes wide, his body crying out in protest.