Lily crushed the half-smoked cigarette, leaning back against the windshield of her car. Everything was falling apart. Time to discard everything. Why couldn’t it remain the same?
She looked up at the night sky. It was so silent out here it made her heart ache. How many times had she stared up and made a wish? Wishes that hadn’t come true. How many times had she sat in the stillness of the night just talking to herself? Alone again. She didn’t mind. She worked better alone, anyway. She didn’t need anybody. Life had always been that way and she had accepted a long time ago that she could do without, as long as she was in control.
She wasn’t happy with the way things were turning out, anyway. She didn’t like these feelings she had about Brad. She didn’t want to think of Amber with him; somehow it angered her. It really shouldn’t. She didn’t care. Maybe he went to her that night and it was just a onetime thing, since Amber was now spending time with Hawk. She shook her head. She didn’t care.
They could all go to hell. All she cared was to make sure the girls were all right, that they were safely out of harm’s way. Dilaver was no dummy. He would find out about Amber sooner or later and then he’d be after her girls. No way was she going to let that happen.
Things fall apart. So she had to work alone again, formulate a new plan. She had done it before, reinventing herself, moving on from old to new. It was easy.
Lily sighed. She couldn’t understand why she felt so hurt inside. She had shut down the emotions that had gotten in the way of life before. It was easier. Feelings only made life painfully unbearable.
She thought of Bradford Sun sitting there looking at her with those accusing eyes. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep for weeks. All she had to do was close her eyes and she could feel the wavy thickness of his hair as she mussed it up, the way he tasted, the way…She jerked up from her comfortable position. Stop, stop, stop. Why couldn’t she stop all this nonsense?
He haunted her, with all that golden glow, promising stupid things that she knew wouldn’t come true. She was, and would always be, on the dark side. There was only one future she knew and he wouldn’t be a part of it, no matter how she wished it.
As for Amber, she had help now. There was Brad and, of course, Hawk. She didn’t really need Lily, not for important decisions anyway. And here she had thought they were partners in this one aspect. But like all things in her life, the usual happened.
Things fall apart. And she’d better get used to being alone again, because it was happening right in front of her eyes.
Tatiana was the last straw. How could they use the poor girl like that, just so they could get their damn interview? Didn’t they see that she wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure? Speaking out to the world, revealing all the depraved things done to her—she would regret it because there was no way she could understand how her life would be like an open book, with every dirty detail for everyone to read. And when she did, it would be too late; everyone would already know how she had been used and humiliated.
Lily thought about her kidnapped sister. She would never have let her sister suffer the pain all over again. With all she had seen through these years of looking for her, she would rather cut her arm off than to make someone relive those experiences, especially when they were like Tatiana’s. She often thought about her poor sister lost in that evil world, how she secretly hoped that one of these days, she might see her among these girls that she saved.
But she couldn’t have become what she was now without being touched by some of that evil. She had done things that crossed the line. She didn’t regret it, but she’d known that when she went down that road that it would be a lonely one. She must do everything by herself. Brad, no matter how much she wanted him, was unattainable.
Her cell phone buzzed in her jacket. She was tempted not to answer it. She was just going to lie anyway. She flipped the phone open.
“Yes, it’s me,” she said, injecting a briskness in her voice, trying to sound busy. “Everything’s on the up and up, don’t worry. I’ll talk to him soon. Route? Yes, I’m busy figuring it out. It’ll take a while, what with all the roads being guarded these days. I’ll be careful. I have to go now, in the middle of something. Talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Lily thoughtfully tapped her chin with the cell phone. Well, that was painless. She couldn’t explain why she’d find it so easy to lie to some people and yet other calls gave her a headache afterward. But there was one thing the CIA had taught—she would be in control. Those girls would be safely out of the way before things fell apart between her and Amber.
Brad had always prided himself in being able to handle any situation with diplomacy. It was, after all, his area of expertise. He enjoyed being in the middle of a hurricane and being the calm eye, able to see things on all sides and take action when necessary. These were the tools that had helped him advance to where he was now, and why he had been sent here to Macedonia.
So many different factions, with so many different countries involved. Everyone had to walk on eggshells while juggling all the different balls required by each side. There was his loyalty; to do everything right and yet not make his country look bad. And there was his commitment to his beliefs, that criminals should be brought to justice.
He didn’t question anyone’s reason in choosing to act as they did. He believed that it was action that made people think, not vice versa. People started to think only when they had to cover their tracks. Someone with nothing to hide didn’t need to keep thinking about his actions, or anyone else’s.
At least, that was how he had been all these years—logical, functional, and damn fucking practical. These were the qualities he had thought were good. Yet he had somehow gotten tangled with a woman who thought the complete opposite. To her, he was utterly useless.
He smiled grimly at the memory of Lily’s earlier outburst at the safe house. They weren’t that different—she was just as loyal, just as committed to her cause and to bringing justice, except she had the passion of someone who had been wronged.
And that revelation jolted into his awareness today—watching her, listening to her, and for once not reacting to her accusations. He sensed that she had something to hide, that there was a reason behind her actions. Hawk’s conversation with him later only reinforced the suspicion that there was more than what was on the surface. He felt that he needed to understand Lily. His mistake had been going around and around her while she kept spinning the same direction, constantly facing him. What was behind her? He had her files, but he now felt that there was something missing. And Hawk had pointed out that he had the means.
He had CIA and Europol connections, and they spied on each other. He was on the board of several UN covert agencies that gave him privy to a lot of classified information. All he had to do was contact someone with the right questions about Llallana Noretski. So far he had asked about her background, but as a citizen. She had been picked up by the CIA, and from their reports they had questioned her extensively on smuggling routes, perhaps even using her several times. She had to have made a deal with them to be able to go about so freely throughout Europe. So the question was, what deal had she made? What did the CIA have over Lily?
Brad stared unseeing at the phone for a moment before picking it up. Regular channels showed that the CIA didn’t have anything in their files, so that was a dead end. Time to collect a veza from his private contact at Europol.
“Joj! Sta jedan gomila nocas!” The young soldier, still in uniform, peered over Hawk’s shoulder, a tipsy leer on his face. “It’s packed like sardines in here. Must be a new batch of girls tonight, what do you think?”
Hawk shrugged. There seemed to be more people around tonight, but he thought it probably had more to do with the new arrivals from the UN divisions than anything else. The men always appeared cleaner-looking when they first came in and—he studied the groups of men cynically—more excited at the thought of visiting something forbidden. This was true of the really young American peacekeepers; some of them had never been to a brothel before. He could always pick them out, since they tended to come in groups, speaking English to everyone in that bold assuming way that Americans tended to have with every foreigner.
Thomas and his partner had arrived half an hour ago, slipping in between the peacekeepers and curious foreigners, and Hawk knew they had seen him. They had agreed not to meet up immediately, since that might call attention to them, so they were milling around, taking in the whole rowdy atmosphere. Thank God they had the sense to dress in similar colors as the younger men around them. The new visitors in town were good timing, since all these new faces were an excellent cover for the reporters.
“Hey, man, any recommendations?” another young man addressed Hawk. He smelled of alcohol, his eyes bright with anticipation. “I’ve seen you here before. You must like it here.”
“Yeah,” Hawk said noncommittally.
“So, who do you like screwing in here? My favorite’s”—he snapped his fingers, trying to remember—“the little blonde, what’s her name. You know, the one with that tattoo. Man, does she have a clever mouth. Why, the last time she…”
Hawk stared stonily as the man went into lurid details about his last visit. He had stopped listening; the physical description was too close to Amber’s for comfort. Familiar anger rose like bile as he contemplated bashing in the man’s face, besides rendering other parts of his body incapable of sexual function for the rest of his life. Instead he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against one of the giant beams that supported the building.
“Yeah,” Hawk repeated.
The young man seemed intent in getting injured. “And then there’s that young thing. She’s got the biggest boobs for a fourteen-year-old, man.” He demonstrated the size lewdly. “Mama mia, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw them. No way could they be real, you know? Wonder where they found her. Can’t understand a word she says. The last time they had her in some contest in the pink room, or whatever they called it. She was totally drugged out and having the time of her life, I tell ya. I’ve never seen such a horny girl, doing so many at the same time.”
That was it. He was going to kill the guy any moment now. “I suppose you could tell she was fourteen and horny,” Hawk said.
“They’re in here every night, parading in those nighties. Got to be horny.”
“Tell me, son, how old are you?”
“I turned twenty-one last week,” the man said proudly.
So he wasn’t young enough to really be Hawk’s son, but these last few months seemed to have added decades to Hawk’s age. “You aren’t too far away from being fourteen,” he said, stabbing him with a direct stare. “You think it’s normal for fourteen-year-olds to run around among adults night in and night out and be horny, huh?”
There was a slight reddening in the other man’s face as Hawk continued to hold his gaze. “Well, they’re whores.”
“Ah. And whores get horny all the time, right?”
“Well, no. Man, what’s it with you? It’s just the way it is around here. You know, they must need the money and all that. Why, I give them presents all the time. They like baubles, you know? Don’t you give your favorite girls anything? They treat you better, I swear, give you more personal attention than just lie there with their legs—Hey!”
Hawk had lifted him off the flat of his feet, pulled him close enough that he could whisper into his ear. “One of these days, boy, if you end up in prison somewhere and you get the attention of some of the older inmates in there, remember one thing. It’s just the way it is around those places. Nothing wrong with a group of men and you in the middle without a single one of them caring what language you’re speaking, hmm? And don’t forget the baubles. You’ll collect quite a few in there, too, or so I’ve heard.”
Hawk casually dropped him back on his feet. He had done everything in one smooth motion, as if he had something private to share with a friend, which he did. His young man’s face had lost some color. Good. Maybe this one actually had some brain cells left.
He could still feel the fury roiling unabated inside. He’d better walk away before he actually beat up someone. Maybe talk to Thomas now or get some fresh air. Something.
He caught the reporter’s eye and started to make his way toward him. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned. It was one of Dilaver’s men.
“Hey, you’re wanted at Dilaver’s table. He wants you to meet someone.”
“Okay.”
Dilaver had his own table near the back exit, usually surrounded by his guards. A quick call from any informant that a raid was coming and he would be the first out of there, leaving the scene for his men to clear out.
“Hawk, this is my aunt, Greta. She’s just arrived.”
Hawk turned to look at the woman sitting across from Dilaver. She was fiftyish, with short stylish brown hair. Her gaze was narrowed, sharp.
“Same build and dark looks. That’s not him, but he looks very similar to Steve McMillan,” she said in excellent American English. “He’s an agent, Dragan. Take him. Alive.”
Adrenaline rocketed through Hawk’s system as Greta’s words registered. He had no idea who she was, but somehow she had seen through his cover. All the background action receded as Dilaver’s men rushed at him. Hawk crouched into a fighting stance. No time to run.