Valerie
His touch was electrifying. Every single swipe of his thumb, my skin burned with the sensation. I felt breathless, out of control.
Instead of moving into his touch, I should have pushed him away. I should have been disgusted by his touch. But I wanted it. I wanted more. I wanted everything he was doing to me. How my mind went blank and I seemed to forget everything except his touch and him.
He was all I could think of, and I never wanted it to end.
Every pain I felt before, it was forgotten as I stared into his brown eyes.
I used to hide, locked myself tight into my mind—numb to everyone and everything else, but with him, I felt alive. It was a strange feeling, one I wasn’t familiar with. But even then, instead of hiding away like I always did, I let go and just—felt.
I let him show me how to feel.
My eyes fluttered close when he dragged his finger down my neck and then my chest, circling my nipple. It was wrong, so wrong. But it felt…right.
My fingers clenched around the fabric of my dress, wanting to hold onto something, anything to ground me to the present.
I shivered when he masterfully touched me again, and my eyes snapped open, our gaze meeting yet again. His eyes were heated, mixed with warmth and so much lust that I shuddered. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Viktor was in control, the master of this situation while I was just a puppet caught in the strings of his play.
It was a dangerous game he and I were playing. There would be no ending, just a cliff-hanger that would pull us both into the depths of the crimson hellfire.
There was so much more about him than what he seemed. He was a breathing mystery, and I wanted to know more about him, his thoughts—his plans for me.
Why is he here?
The words twirled and twirled in my head, leaving me in a mistful daze. My fingers unclenched from my dress, and without thinking, I grabbed his wrist, stalling his movement.
I needed to think, and with him touching me, I couldn’t even fabricate a coherent thought.
His gaze moved down to our hands. My eyes followed the same path too, until they rested on our hands, my fingers around his wrist, holding him still.
His hand and mine were a stark contrast. His—tanned, strong, and rough, as if it never knew a gentle touch. Mine—pale, small, and soft, as if it never touched the sun.
This man belonged to the same world that destroyed me, yet I couldn’t feel disgust. I looked up, and we just stared at each other.
I felt fear, desperation to know what he was thinking and what he wanted from me.
He is seducing me, but doesn’t he know the results of this play?
Doesn’t he know who I belong to?
If Valentin ever found out—Viktor would never make it out alive. And then I would have to bear the pain of both our mistakes.
The corner of his eyes wrinkled a little bit, and my gaze went to his lips to see him smirking. “You are so tempting, Valerie,” he said.
I watched his lips closely, following each word before I blinked up at him again. My heart stuttered, and my chest clenched. What was he doing to me?
My gaze went back to his lips again, not wanting to miss any of his words. It was the only way I could listen to his words.
My ears were useless—the sound they heard were muted. All voices felt like a blanket, falling in a deep hollow pit.
There were no sound, just small whispers that I could barely make out. If I focused hard on the sound, maybe I would hear a word or two. But even then, it sounded weird, like I was submerged deep under water and someone was whispering from above.
My loss of hearing was my weapon, my strength. I didn’t have to hear all the malice from my tormentors. The silence was a gift bestowed upon me in this chaotic darkness.
It was something everyone feared, a painful and regretful thing to others. But to me, I was blessed to have the silence. I praised it. I welcomed it with open arms.
But for the first time, I wanted to hear a voice—his voice. I wanted to listen to his words; maybe they would have been music to my ears.
For the first time, I felt the loss of my hearing cut me deep.
Viktor let me go, and I felt the cold wash over me in the most painful way. My hand fell to my lap, and my eyes moved to his hands. They were at his sides, his fists clenching tightly. The tattoos on the back of his hands looked more prominent with the angry lines of his veins.
Looking back up again, I stared at his face. He looked at me strangely, his head cocked to the side. Viktor studied my face for a second, his eyes moving from mine to my lips, and then up again.
“It seems whenever I am with you, I forget what’s right and wrong,” he said. I would have missed it if my gaze wasn’t already on his lips.
It seems whenever I am with you, I forget what’s right and wrong.
He couldn’t have spoken any truer words than these. It was as if he picked them right out of my mind. My eyes flicked back to his, and I knew, whatever I was feeling—he was feeling the same.
A strange man I have never seen before. A complete stranger but he gave me more than my husband had ever given me.
He gave me a chance to use my words; his touch was gentle, his eyes soft—every look shooting straight into my heart. He was everything I had been secretly craving—dreaming of.
I looked at the notepad and pen on my lap. Thank you, Viktor. I can’t thank you enough, and you will never know how grateful I am to have those stolen forbidden moments.
But whatever we had between us—we couldn’t have it.
I had to shoot it, put a bullet through it, before it even bloomed to something else.
Without giving him another glance, I took the pen and started writing.
You shouldn’t be here. Igor is watching us. He will tell Valentin, and my husband will hurt you. You say that he can’t do anything to hurt you, but you are so wrong. He is a powerful man. He can do anything he wants…and if he wants to hurt you, he will find ways to wound you so deep. So please, you need to leave. Viktor, you shouldn’t be here. Please, leave.
I showed him the notepad, and he read the words slowly. When I saw no reaction from him, I started writing again. Feeling frustrated at his lack of understanding, I was close to begging now.
Why don’t you understand? If I have to beg, I will. You really don’t understand. Please.
With the notepad still on my lap, he was reading the words and then smirked. “Oh, I would love to hear you beg, silent myshka.”
His face came closer, our noses almost touching. “Just not the type of begging you are thinking. Trust me, when you beg—you are going to do it for a whole different reason. And I’m going to love hearing you beg me.”
My eyes widened in shock at his words. He couldn’t mean…
His hand came up, and he thumbed my lips almost roughly, his fingers then moving to my cheek. They slowly inched their way to upward, his fingertips feathering just below my ear.
It tickled, but the warmth his fingers left in their path made me forget about everything.
“Were you always deaf?”
I blinked, and then my mouth fell open.
Wh-at?
How…? No! Nobody—
My thoughts screeched to a halt when he grasped my neck, pulling me closer. I trembled in shock and went limp, letting him control my body.
What’s happening? I screamed in my head.
His fingers tightened around my neck. It wasn’t hurting—not like when Valentin would hold me. Viktor’s hold held so much dominance in it, but it was…gentle.
I swallowed nervously, and his thumb rubbed the column of my neck softly, forcing my eyes on him again.
“Answer me, Valerie.”
His face darkened and eyes glowed almost fiercely. Those brown irises were darker—almost black now. Viktor looked dangerous, angry. Like a killer, his mind set on his next victim. I saw him grinding his teeth together, his jaw locked.
Still staring at his face, I shook my head mutely.
If possible, Viktor looked even more furious.
“Did Valentin do this to you?”
The question left me shivering because, oh little did he know…
I shook my head again. Viktor raised an eyebrow at me, his hold tightening just a little. He pulled me closer, our lips now inches apart.
In this position, it was harder for me to see his lips. I couldn’t see what he was saying. So I just closed my eyes. In closing my eyes, I let myself feel. His touch, his voice.
I felt his breath next to my ear, so close. Instinctively, I brought my hands up, my fingers latching on his arms.
Two different holds.
Dominance. And submissive.
Strong. And weak.
Powerful. And desperation.
I just held him, while he held me.
There were whispers, my ears trying so hard to catch the words.
“…Valerie.”
My eyes snapped opened, and my heart froze for a half of a second before it started beating again, harder and louder.
My hands shook, and I held him tighter, tears blinding my vision.
Did I…?
My name…
He said my name…
I heard him…
He slowly moved his head in front of me, and I just stared at him.
Say it again, I begged. Please. Say my name. I want to hear it.
Viktor stared at me for a second before his lips moved again.
“Valerie.”
I saw him speak…but my ears didn’t catch his voice. His words fell into a pit of silence and darkness.
Closing my eyes, a tear fell down my cheek. I choked back a sob. What a cruel fate.
Before when I had heard his voice, it was almost silent. But I knew it was deep. I imagined that his voice was rough, deep and strong—just like him.
I want to hear you.
I felt his touch, this thumb brushing over my cheek. He swiped the tear away while his other hand released my neck. My eyes opened to look into his.
His brown ones were soft, focused intensely on me. As if I was the only one he could see.
Viktor brought his hand up, and his finger touched his lips. Instantly, my gaze went to his lips. He has found another way to communicate with me, letting me know that he was about to speak. He wanted me to catch every word he was saying.
“I don’t know what you are hiding, Valerie. But I am going to figure it out. Whether you like it or not, I am going to figure you out. You can hide from Valentin, but not from me.”
He brushed my hair out of my face. “All your secrets, Valerie. They will be mine. I want them. But I will wait for you to give them to me willingly.”
His face was close to mine again, and he smiled, a beautiful, breathtaking smile. “Remember, I am not Valentin. I am Viktor. And you can’t hide from me, silent myshka.”
With those as his final words, he stood straight. Viktor gave me a final glance, nodding, as if we now shared a secret. Maybe we did.
Our secret.
He left the room, and I was left staring at the wide windows, staring into the darkness of the night.
Minutes turned into hours. I lost track of time. When my back and shoulders started aching from sitting in the same position for too long, I finally stood up and moved from my chair.
I felt eyes on me, and I ignored them.
Igor was in the room—he was always present. I wondered how much he would tell Valentin.
Turning my head to the side, I looked at him. He was already looking at me, his eyes glaring holes into my body. Igor shook his head in warning, as if telling me to put an end to this game. Because it would lead to only chaos and pain.
I stared at him blankly, only because I didn’t know how to end this—whatever it was between Viktor and me.
I didn’t know how to end this beautiful secret.
Ignoring the eyes on me, I turned off the lights and crawled in my bed. I settled deeper into my pillows and mattress and closed my eyes.
Darkness welcomed me, and I fell into a deep sleep.
Where he was waiting for me.
In all his beautiful form, smirking teasingly, his brown eyes happy—his touch gentle and soft.
I felt a touch on my cheeks, almost featherlight, but it was enough to rouse me from my slumber. Blinking my sleepy eyes, I only saw darkness.
Huh?
I touched my cheek, it wasn’t cold—it was warm and tingling, like it had just been touched.
Sitting up on my bed, I looked around the room. My lamp was the only light, but I saw nothing. The room was empty.
Shaking my head, I stared at the window, where Viktor had stood just hours ago. He was with me in my dreams, and now I could even feel this touch.
My body went limp, and I was about to turn to my side when something else caught my eyes.
On my nightstand, the pen and notepad sat there. Just where I had left them before I went to sleep.
Only difference, the notepad was opened, and on the paper, words were written in an unknown penmanship.
With trembling hands, I took the notepad and brought it closer to me.
I read the words slowly. I read them over and over again. Tracing each letter with my fingertips, I just stared at the words.
My chin wobbled, and then I smiled. A small, barely there smile, almost tearfully.
Okay, I replied in my head.
My fingers continued to trace the words.
Trust me, silent myshka.