I had spent the last four hours restless and angry. I hadn’t felt this way for a long time. In the end I had tried to burn off the excess energy by training for nearly two hours. My muscles were screaming as I stepped into a hot shower. I toweled my hair as I walked to my trio of computer screens. I would work until I became so exhausted I could no longer keep my eyes open. Work always took me to a place where no other thoughts could come in.

I looked at the numbers on the screen. Usually, that would have been enough to pull me into another world, but tonight I could not get into it. I looked at the clock. Nearly eleven. I stood and went to the bar. I poured myself a very large scotch and downed it in one. The liquid radiated warmth all the way down to my stomach.

I sighed. I knew what was wrong with me. It burned me to look down from my window and see Charlotte leave with Melly. I knew what two girls out on the town did. And Charlotte looked beautiful in a pink, figure hugging sweater and jeans that showed of her curves. It maddened me to think of all the men who would look at her. It maddened me even more to think I had no right over her. As much as I wanted it she was not mine. If she saw my face …

Fuck.

My fist slammed into the palm of my left hand. I poured myself another glass. What if she went home with another man? Jesus Christ, I couldn’t believe I was torturing myself like this. Angrily, I paced the floor. Last orders were at 10.00. The pubs started throwing people out at 10.30. She should have been back by now.

I stopped mid-stride. What if they had met with an accident? Now, I was being paranoid.

I heard the sound of a car, and rushed to my window. I saw a taxi drive up to the gates and relief poured through my body. I wanted to stay at the window and watch her come in, but I forced myself to walk away. I sat at my computer and stared at the screen while my ears strained to hear the sounds in the courtyard. I heard the sound of two doors slamming shut. I heard a giggle. Then it was quiet.

I let go of the breath I was holding. She was back. All was well.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the intercom buzzed. “Charlotte?” I said.

“Brett, is that you?”

“Yes. Is everything alright?”

“No. I’m thinking of quitting.”

Everything in me instantly stilled.

“Did you hear me?” she asked belligerently, her words slurring. “I’m thinking of … of … quitting.”

I exhaled with relief. Charlotte Conrad was intoxicated.

“Why do you want to quit?” I asked, prepared to be entertained.

Something fell to the ground and she cursed. “I want to quit because I cannot stand the way both of you treat Zackary. You ignore him. His mother feeds him a bunch of lies.”

“What lies?”

“Oh that. I’ll have to talk to you about them later.”

“Why?”

“Because … because it’s very important and I need to be sober, you know what I mean?”

“Yes.”

“I mean, I know that things aren’t easy but … you’re not even trying anymore.”

Again I heard the clatter of something falling and another low curse. I tried not to laugh. “Sit on your bed,” I suggested. All the noise was probably her struggling to remain upright. She was so drunk it was a wonder she was still able to communicate.

“I’m sitting now. That was a good idea, Brett. Anyway, coming back to what I was saying. What was I saying? Oh yeah, you are not trying anymore. I expect better from you, Brett King.”

“Why?”

“I don't know,” came her response. I knew without seeing her that she was frowning. And I knew she would look adorable. “But I … I just know … you caaaaaan.”

“Will you stay if I say I’ll try harder.”

“I guess so.”

A brief silence ensued. “Where have you been tonight?”

“The Red Something. Peahen … cockerel. Some sort of bird anyway.” She burst out in giggles.

“Did you have a good time?”

“I drank a lot and I danced,” she announced innocently, but the harmless information wound up all the nerves in my body. “There was a farmer there. He looked a bit like you,” she added.

My snort was bitter. She knew nothing of what I looked like, but still I wanted to find out how she had imagined me to be in her mind. “What did he look like?”

“A little bit like you, slightly smaller and not as nice obviously, but in the dark, I could have been fooled. However, his voice … I hated it. Yours rumbles … it is low and sexy, his was a ring. I thought I’d suddenly developed that ear disease. What is it called? It’s like a high-pitched ringing.”

I smiled then. “Tinnitus.”

“That’s the one.”

“Brett.”

“Yes.”

“I want to be filled again,” she blurted out suddenly.

I froze. I didn’t need an explanation to understand what she meant, especially at the way her voice became sultry and breathless on the last word.

She went on. “There’s this constant, fluttering ache down in my—”

Her breathing hitched as though she wasn’t even in control of her words.

She groaned. “It won’t freaking stop. It’s hollow and insatiable … and no matter how hard I try I just can’t stop replaying that night.”

The question was torn from my lips. “What night?”

“It was so real I still can’t be sure if it actually happened, or if it was just a dream … but my God. You came at me … your tongue speared me … it was hot and wet … and so was I. Actually, I was soaked. That’s a better term. Soaked. Your teeth bit down on my clit and I explo—”

I didn’t wait to hear the rest. I was out of my room in an instant.

The lights had all been turned off for the night. The corridors were illuminated only by the external lights and the rays of moonlight. It didn’t matter because I’d been wandering these corridors in the dark for years. I knew the path by heart.