5

In hindsight, it was naïve of me to expect anything else. Being around Joel at work had always been a challenge; now, it was a fucking torture. I did get off only last night—but now that I could have him, I was insatiable. Which meant I spent the whole of Friday biting my tongue, blue-balled and cursing the gorgeous bastard who made me ache.

He had a dark-blue suit jacket over his beige pants and a pristine white shirt. He looked like a fucking model again, and his calm, professional gait made me want to rip his pants down and spank his ass. When he walked past me in the office kitchen, his eyes flashing my way, lips smirking, I grabbed his arm to yank him closer.

“I’m going to fuck your brains out tonight. You won’t be able to sit until Wednesday,” I hissed in his face.

His pupils grew as he stared at me. Damn, he was just as horny as me.

“Tyler, let go,” he said, licking his lips. He didn’t look like he wanted me to let go. “Ty…”

I released his arm and inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. Joel’s gaze dropped to my mouth. He didn’t step away.

“Damn it, Joel,” I whispered.

“Tonight,” he said, his chest heaving.

“Tyler, Adrian from Mercury called,” came Tina’s voice from behind me.

Joel spun around and left the kitchen. I turned to Tina.

She paused, looking at me in confusion, then at Joel’s retreating back.

I shrugged innocently.

“What did you do to him?” she asked quietly. “Arguing with the boss again?”

“He’s being a pain,” I said. It was true.

She pursed her lips and shook her head.

“He really doesn’t like you, does he?”

I grinned. “Nope.” Oh, but Joel did like me. He liked me a lot. Especially my big cock up his tight ass.

“Anyway, Adrian was really apologetic, but we need to replace some names in the outro. I already emailed the list to you. We have to send the new file tonight. Sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. The Mercury project was never-ending.

“Okay, just let me have my coffee, and I’ll render it out for you.”

At four, my phone dinged with a message from Joel: I am tempted to finish early. When can you leave?

Me: I have to drop my bike at home and change. Pick me up at my place at seven?

Him: Text me the address.

***

I got home at half past six—fucking Mercury—and found my mom in the living room.

“Tyler!” She jumped up and hugged me, her shock of bright red hair flashing in front of my face. I bent lower so she could kiss me on the cheek without climbing up my legs.

“You’re home?!” she exclaimed.

“Why the hell are you acting surprised?” I asked, exasperated. “It’s my apartment.”

She looked sheepish. “I’m sorry, love. I called you, but you didn’t answer.”

“I was busy at work. I needed to finish something. What are you doing here?”

She sat back on my sofa and sighed. One eyebrow high in a challenge, she folded her arms across her chest. “I really hope you don’t have a hookup planned or something because I need to stay here until Monday.”

“What’s going on, Mom?”

“Marcus is moving out over the weekend.”

“Mom…” I groaned. I’d been keeping track since we left my father. Marcus was boyfriend number seven—that I knew of.

“I am way less promiscuous than you, boy, so spare me the lecture.”

I flashed her a look.

“Just because I am a woman above fifty, I don’t deserve a satisfying sex life?”

I swallowed. I knew it might be a bad idea, but I asked anyway. “And Marcus wasn’t…satisfying?”

“You really want to know?” she said, reading my mind and grinning wide.

“No!”

“Honestly, the sex wasn’t an issue. Much. He’s just so…serious. We never laughed together. We discussed. I’d die of boredom. Life gets less and less fun as you grow older, and I need someone who appreciates its absurdity.”

I hugged her shoulders and kissed her temple. “Understood. I wish I could stay here and get drunk with you, but I actually do have a date.”

Her face brightened even more. “You do? I can get a hotel.”

“Don’t be silly. Stay. I might be gone until Sunday, though.”

“Tell me!” she demanded excitedly.

“He’s not out, Mom. I can’t tell you much.

“So you’re hiding from him? Haven’t I taught you anything?”

“Calm down. It’s temporary.”

Mom squinted at me. “The closet or the relationship?”

“The closet. Maybe both.” As I spoke, my stomach fluttered with expectations. Shit. I really wanted more time with Joel. “It’s too new, but I want to give him a chance.”

“In the closet. In this day and age.” She shook her head.

“Mom, don’t judge. He has his reasons.”

She paused, humming speculatively. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Yes, I think I do.” I began picking up random objects scattered over the surfaces of my living room—an empty water glass, a couple of old batteries from the remote control, a pack of paper tissues… My mom didn’t care about disorder as long as it wasn’t hers. But I needed to avoid her knowing eyes so I wouldn’t spill the whole thing.

“Huh. How long have you known him?”

“A little over a year,” I replied.

I wanted to tell her. I wished I could sit and dissect the whole Joel conundrum with her ad infinitum. But I wouldn’t break Joel’s trust. I shouldn’t have mentioned a thing.

“Who is it? I must know him, then.” She was relentless.

“You don’t. And I shouldn’t have told you.”

“It’s Joel Sandstrom, isn’t it?”

I paused, turned to her, and gaped. Shit.

“How?!” I squealed.

Mom just grinned victoriously. “I didn’t know. But now I do.”

“Damn it, mom!”

She shrugged. “Lately, you’ve mentioned him a lot, love.”

“If you tell anyone, anyone, I’ll call Grandma and tell her all about Marcus.”

“I won’t tell,” she rolled her eyes.

“Mom. It’s important.”

She lifted her palm up, nodding solemnly. “I swear.”

“Thanks.”

“So, Joel Sandstrom is gay,” she mused.

“Mom! You swore, remember!”

“And I won’t tell anyone. Relax! How is he in bed?”

I threw my arms in the air. It was hopeless. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“No, you absolutely should have. This is amazing. He is incredibly handsome. I saw him at the Breast Cancer Fund gala and then at the Golden Egg ceremony.”

“And he’ll be picking me up in fifteen minutes, so I need to shower.”

“Go, go! I’ll keep him occupied if you’re late,” she said and winked.

“No, Mom. I will be texting him to wait in the car.”

“Oh, you’re no fun.”

“Luckily, you can’t break up with me because of it.”

“Brat!” she exclaimed, but there was laughter in her voice.

I did text Joel to warn him. And then I douched in the bathroom with my mom next door which felt all kinds of weird, but I had a whole night of debauchery planned and I wasn’t taking any chances.

My phone dinged just as I was putting on my T-shirt.

Him: Downstairs.

Me: Just a minute.

“Mom! I’m going,” I called as I was walking down the hallway toward the living room.

Mom was lounging on the sofa with a Kindle and a glass of red wine.

“Where did you get that?” I asked, pointing at the glass. I was sure I didn’t have any wine. Not red anyway.

“I brought my own, Scrooge,” she said, and narrowed her eyes at me. “You never have anything but beer.”

I bent to kiss her forehead, and she smiled at me.

“You look nice, love, and you smell great.”

“Erm. Thanks, Mom. How about we go for lunch next week?”

“Sure. Now go.”

“Take care and call me if you get lonely,” I said as I was dragging my boots on.

“Lonely? Boy, I love you, but you won’t be the one I’ll be calling if I get lonely.”

“Jesus, Mom.”

She cackled as I ran out the door.

Joel was double-parked in front of the building. I jumped inside the BMW, and he bent over the console to give me a peck on the lips. It surprised me. The car was illuminated, and there were people on the sidewalk.

“Sorry, my mom paid me a surprise visit.”

“Oh? Do you need to go back?”

“No, she’s fine. But go. She’s probably spying on us from the kitchen window.”

Joel smiled, looking a little worried at the same time.

“Okay,” he said and started the car.

The ride felt long. I was horny and impatient. My phone beeped with a message after a few minutes. It was Mom: Nice car.

I laughed.

***

Just as soon as the door to Joel’s house closed behind us, I was all over him.

“I want you. But I need to shower,” he mumbled when I kissed his neck and opened his pants.

“Good, I’ll get to see you wet again.”

He took my hand, not letting go as he opened the bathroom and turned on the lights. The shower stall was vast. Yesterday, I was so focused on him I barely noticed.

“This entire place is incredible,” I said, looking around the spacious dark-grey bathroom with green accents and an oak cabinet. Joel shrugged, setting the temperature in the shower. Not wasting any time, I stripped.

We stepped under the stream, and I immediately wrapped him in my embrace. He didn’t hesitate. This kiss was different. Less desperate, more exploring and…gentle. Joel and I were suddenly gentle with each other. It made me burn with lust just as much as the covert, aggressive blow jobs in the office.

Joel covered in suds was a glorious sight. He was hard like me. We rocked against each other, his body gliding under my palms, not insistent, but languorous, deliciously slow. We knew we had time, and it made all the difference in the world. I would enjoy him, savor him. All of him.

My fingers traced his spine all the way into his crease, and he spread his legs for me. I stroked over his hole while he kissed me and ground his erection against mine. I pushed a finger inside, stretching him. Joel rocked on my hand and moaned loudly.

“Bed,” I said. “I want you spread out on a bed again.”

“God, yes.”

We stumbled out of the bathroom, still wet. Joel lay on his back, legs apart and knees bent, his hands fast on the headboard. Jesus.

“Joel,” I sighed.

We had the safety talk in the car—brief and to the point. I swallowed. The reality of fucking Joel bare had me painfully hard.

“Ty, c’mon,” he said, impatient again.

“Christ, Joel. If I get inside you now, I’ll be done in half a minute.”

He smiled languidly and reached with one hand between his legs, giving his hard cock one slow stroke.

“I would take it as a compliment,” he said, making me chuckle.

“You should. I haven’t gone bare in years. And now you… Damn, you’re gorgeous. But you know that.” I was rambling. “Fuck.”

“Years?” Joel asked. His hand stilled on his underbelly.

I shrugged. “Never been serious or stupid enough, I guess.”

“Ah,” Joel exhaled, and I realized how I sounded.

I had to explain. I joined him on the bed and I kissed him again, covering his body. “Joel, I’ve played around. A lot. I’ve had friends with benefits, casual hookups. There’s a couple, my close buddies, who have invited me to be their third on occasion. But I don’t need to do those things. I haven’t had a serious relationship in a long time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. It’s entirely your call, okay? If you want me for yourself, I’m yours. I’ve already said so.”

Joel’s eyes were pinned on mine, the blue in them hypnotic. He bit his lip before he spoke. “An exclusive relationship. In the closet.”

Of course he was skeptical. “Joel. I want you. I’m willing to do a whole lot to have you. Please understand, I don’t feel like I am sacrificing anything by being exclusive. Quite the opposite.”

He blinked repeatedly. “Then fuck me,” he said hoarsely.

“Nightstand?” I asked.

He nodded, his eyes pinned on me, face hungry.

I opened the drawer. I rummaged for lube, but my fingers encountered something else instead.

“Shit,” Joel sighed. “I forgot about that.”

I pulled out the transparent unopened package. Inside was a dildo, black, realistic with veins and everything. And fucking huge. At the base it was just a tad slimmer before it widened again into a handle made for self-pleasuring—when this baby was in, it stayed in.

I stared at the monster tool and then at Joel. He watched me with concern and slight embarrassment.

“I…bought it on Tuesday. I didn’t…I haven’t used it yet.”

“Why did you buy it, Joel?”

He sighed, his chest heaving before he blurted his answer. “So I could pretend you’re fucking me.”

“Well, you can have the real thing whenever you want. We could just throw this out now, huh?” Throwing the toy out was the last thing on my mind. We were going to have fun with that dildo.

“If you prefer,” Joel mumbled but the glint in his eyes told me he already knew what I was thinking and was fully on board.

I smirked, a new wave of desire flooding me. Yes. This was exactly what we needed.

“On all fours,” I said.

Joel obeyed.

I opened the package. In my peripheral vision, I saw him shudder with every loud rip of plastic.

With the toy lying on the bed next to me, I lubed my fingers and started preparing him. The dildo was brutal. He’d need to be relaxed and ready for it. I stroked his opening and perineum, deliberately ignoring his hard cock that stuck out toward the bedding. I kissed the globes of his ass and bit the skin before I pushed two well-lubed fingers inside him.

“Fuck!” he yelped but relaxed immediately, his ass sucking my fingers in.

I stroked his insides, twisted my fingers, spread them and turned, added more lube and went with three. I knelt behind him and used both hands. Two index fingers inside him, I stretched him to capacity. By that point, Joel was a blubbering mess.

His ass slick and rim loose, I reached for the toy.

“Please, Ty, fill me up!”

I quickly spread an abundance of lube over the black dildo, not caring about the smears on the bedding. I caught Joel’s balls in my left hand and stroked over his hole with the dildo using my right.

The tip popped in on the third try, and Joel wailed.

I pushed in deeper.

“Yeah! Fuuuck!” he groaned and started rocking on the invasion, now half-way inside him.

He was beautiful.

“Fuck me. Fuck me!”

I pushed in harder, the toy sliding in until it was two-thirds deep, and then I pulled out again. And again. I was fucking him with slow strokes, angling the toy to massage his gland.

“Tyler!”

I pushed in harder than before, and the toy slid in to the hilt. Joel roared and fell face down, his ass in the air, the black handle sticking out.

“Oh, fuck,” he mumbled into the bedding.

I let go of the handle. With the dildo fully inside his body, I started massaging his ass muscles, I kissed, licked, and sucked on the skin, and Joel started rocking again, humming and moaning quietly. The dildo moved as Joel rolled his hips, unable to stay still. I caught him around his waist and helped him to roll so he lay on his back. He groaned again as the dildo jostled in his ass, and he immediately spread his legs.

I caught the handle and pulled out slightly before I pushed back in.

“Yeaaaah,” Joel groaned, throwing his head back.

Gently toying with the handle, I studied him. There was a dark blush in his face and on his upper chest. He fisted the sheets, and his chest heaved with deep inhalations. First his teeth were clenched, but as I lay next to him and kept the fucks slow and small, his face went slack and his eyes closed. His fists loosened, and he reached for me blindly, one of his hands finding my face and tugging closer.

How the hell did I get to this point? When did I become so lucky? The contradiction between Joel Sandstrom in his power suit this morning, commanding a conference room full of senior corporate managers, and my Joel now, naked, moaning, getting fucked by a ridiculously large sex toy… I was the luckiest bastard on the planet because I knew all those facets of this brilliant man. He trusted me. More than anyone else. Damn. His pink, swollen lips parted, and ecstasy shone through his features. My Joel.

I let go of the dildo, caught his face between my hands and kissed him. Our tongues intertwined and danced, and Joel clung to me. He shivered and breathed hard, his arms wrapped around my waist, and one leg went around my thighs. He groaned as the movement forced the toy to change angle in his ass again.

“Ty. Tyler.” He seemed so helpless.

“Yeah, baby, got you. I got you.”

He circled his hips, his hard cock rubbing mine just right. He pumped his hips in desperate attempts to make the toy move inside him.

“Stay on your back, Joel,” I said as I pushed on his shoulders. He rolled obediently, his eyes begging me to fucking do something.

I grabbed the lube again and saw Joel’s eyes widen when I straddled his waist and reached behind me to prep myself.

“No?” I asked, smiling, then grimacing when the stretch became uncomfortable.

“Fuck, yeah!” Joel breathed, caught my erection and stroked.

I slathered more lube onto his cock and touched my hole with the tip. I angled my hips, pushed, and the head of Joel’s cock popped inside.

Joel groaned.

It had been some time since I’d bottomed, and while Joel wasn’t huge, he was still above average, perfectly in proportion to the rest of his magnificent body. I watched him as I slid down and rose again, inching lower with every thrust, taking more of him.

“Ty,” he breathed.

With his cock inside me to the hilt, I kissed him. I was usually the one taking the lead in sex, and I fucking loved topping Joel. Hence, I’d forgotten how much I liked being fucked. I remembered now—a cock in my ass meant my mind went all mellow, and the time between the initial discomfort and the final frenzy was always pure contentment. Like when you sank into a bubble bath or lay on your back on a sunny day staring at the blue sky.

I sat up, closed my eyes and rolled my hips, savoring the stretch and slide, letting the arousal build. The sensation climbed up my spine and hugged my brain, warming me, comforting. How could anyone believe there was anything wrong about this? This was perfection, plain and simple. I imagined life wouldn’t get any better than those lucky moments of harmony in sex. Sex with Joel.

I opened my eyes.

Joel’s fingers teased my erection, and he stared wide-eyed, the tip of his tongue peeking out as he breathed open-mouthed.

“Fuck. This is perfect,” he forced out.

And it would get even better. I leaned back, reaching behind me, and grazed the handle of the dildo with my left hand. Joel grabbed my hips and groaned. Grinding against him, I got a better grip on the handle and managed to move it in and out a few times. My thighs and stomach muscles burned, but I didn’t care because Joel went nuclear under me.

He bucked up his hips. Our movements became desperate, uncoordinated. Joel kept thrusting into me wildly, the dildo in his ass wreaking havoc on his senses.

“I’ll come!” he forced out, looking desperate.

“Do it. Come inside me.”

I didn’t even finish the short sentence before Joel spasmed under me, his cock pulsing. I let go of the dildo and rode him harder, and he called out my name. Closing my eyes, I imagined his come coating my insides and I wished like hell I could really feel it.

I did feel it first after I slid off him, and the wetness started seeping out of my ass. I ignored it, lay next to him and reached for the toy.

“Breathe, baby, relax.” I pulled, and the dildo glided out. Joel keened from aftershocks. “I want inside you,” I blurted.

Wordlessly, he turned on his side, lifting one leg to make space for me. My cock fit into his stretched hole all the way on the first try, and Joel reached for me, gripping my thigh, tugging me closer.

Spooning his body, I got lost inside him. I thought of his come dripping from my ass, smearing in my crease, and how now, I was going to mark him. My sex-muddled brain conjured an image of Joel and me covered in our come, painting and slathering each other with the combined essence of us both…

“Joel, baby…”

He kept moaning in time with my thrusts, but I could feel he was drained. I enveloped his body, inching closer, deeper. My asshole ached with the memory of him. My orgasm came slow but forceful, the sounds tearing from my throat long and hoarse. I convulsed and spilled inside Joel. Really inside him—while he was still imprinted inside me.

“I don’t care if it’s five or fifteen months, Joel.”

He was quiet for a while, and I almost thought he had fallen asleep. My cock started to soften, and I was about to roll away—we needed to clean up a little before we went to sleep. But Joel’s hand on my thigh stopped me.

“Joel?”

He breathed in and out loudly, as if bracing himself.

“I’m falling for you,” he said, fear in his voice.

I held him tighter because I was just as afraid as he was.