Chapter 11

 

Her fingernails dug into the palm of her hand. Later, she’d find marks in her skin, but gripping her hands together now beat the alternative of picking at her fingernails as she waited. She’d already destroyed the nice manicure she’d gotten on Saturday. She hadn’t been able to control herself as the day passed. If only Vivian, Mr. Carson’s personal assistant, had waited until after lunch to call and tell her Mr. Carson wanted to see her today at four o’clock, maybe her manicure would’ve survived. Vivian hadn’t called then. Instead, Cat returned from her nine thirty meeting to find the message from the assistant.

At least the wait would be over soon. When Mr. Carson told her during the interview that he hoped to make a decision the following week, he’d evidently meant it. Even though she’d known he wanted to make a decision sooner rather than later, she hadn’t expected to hear anything until maybe Friday. Getting an answer by Tuesday had never crossed her mind.

“Miss Striker, Mr. Carson will see you now,” Vivian, the sixty-something-year-old personal assistant, said as she placed the phone receiver down. Cat didn’t know if it was true or not, but she’d heard that Vivian, who had worked as Mr. Carson’s personal assistant since he helped start the company more than thirty years ago, was also his sister.

Ungrasping her hands, Cat bit down on the inside of her cheek. She’d run into Charles, the only other internal applicant left, on her way out to lunch. He hadn’t said anything to her about seeing Mr. Carson today. Did that mean the president had decided to meet with the applicants who hadn’t gotten the position first? Because she couldn’t think of a person much more qualified than Charles.

Harry Carson’s office reminded her of every executive office she’d seen portrayed in the movies. It had a large desk near the windows, so all the man had to do was turn in his chair and he had a great view of the city. A conference table took up a large portion of the left-hand side of the room and several upholstered chairs were positioned around it. Opposite the conference table, a leather sofa was pushed up against a wall with a small wet bar in the corner.

“Please have a seat.” Mr. Carson gestured toward the chair opposite his desk. “I apologize for the short notice. I hope I didn’t create any difficulties for you.”

Cat forced her teeth from where they’d gotten buried in her cheek and tried to smile. “Not at all.”

“Good.” Mr. Carson smiled, reminding her a little of Pop. “I must admit, when Nolan and Claire included you as one the three potential candidates, I was skeptical. While you possess all the necessary credentials, I wasn’t convinced you were ready.”

Mr. Carson’s words stung, but she didn’t experience the same devastating blow like she had when she gotten the rejection letter from her first choice college.

“Both Charles and Jacob have several more years of experience. However, the moment you left the interview last week, I knew you were just the person we need out in California.”

Her mouth dropped open a few inches and she nodded. I got the job.

“I realize the holidays are around the corner, but assuming you accept the position, I’d like you settled in the California office before the New Year.”

He wanted her to pick up and move across the country in a little more than a month. Oh, man.

“It’s not a lot of time, but we do have a great relationship with a real estate agent in Anaheim. Reach out to her and let her know what you’re looking for and she’ll start searching. Once she finds some possibilities, put in for a few days off so you can fly out and look at them. Just so you know, the company does offer relocation assistants to help cover moving costs. I already asked Vivian to prepare all that information for you. She should have it ready, so you can pick it up on your way out.”

Everything the man said sounded wonderful. Most people would be on cloud nine right now. Her feet merely hovered over the ground.

“Do you have any questions?”

Yep, how was she supposed to leave Tony behind? “Do you need a definite answer tonight?”

Why had she asked that? She should just say yes. Tony didn’t plan on marrying her, and her family was behind her 100 percent. They would come and visit as often as possible. Really, she had nothing holding her here. There was no good reason to not accept the promotion right this very moment.

Mr. Carson’s frowned. “Not this minute, but soon. I’d like to make the formal announcement before Friday.”

Say yes, the two words repeated over and over in her head. “I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow,” Cat said as emotions overruled all her common sense.

“Excellent. I have a busy schedule tomorrow, but check with Vivian before you leave. She’ll find a time when you can stop in.”

“I will.”

“Good and please grab the materials Vivian put together for you tonight. I suspect you’ll need them.”

Cat wished she felt as confident as Mr. Carson sounded about her decision. “I’ll be sure to take them with me.”

After her meeting, Cat stopped at her desk long enough to grab her purse and jacket. Right now, the last place she wanted to be was work. If she hoped to have a decision for Mr. Carson by tomorrow, she needed to talk to Tony. Whether she wanted to or not, the time had come to tell him how she felt.

He’d promised to stop by after football practice tonight. That gave her another few hours before she had to pour her heart out. Maybe with a little luck, she’d figure out what to say to him by then.

 

***

 

Cat glanced at her watch. How was it possible that only two minutes had passed since she last checked it? Was time slowing down or something? Tony had texted her half an hour ago to tell her he needed to stop home before he came over.

“What is taking him so long?” She grabbed a cookie from the package on the counter as she paced by it. Before she bit into it, though, she put it down. The last thing her stomach needed right now was food. “No matter what he says tonight, it’s not the end of the world,” she said, resisting the urge to check her watch again.

The knock at her door brought her to an immediate stop.

“I can do this.” She took the last few steps to the door, and as she reached for the doorknob, her hand shook. When she pulled open the door, she tried to smile. However, sadness washed over her at the sight of Tony standing there and tears burned her eyes.

Thankfully, Tony didn’t seem to notice, because he walked inside like he always did. “Sorry I’m late. My mom called just as I was getting ready to leave the house. She wanted to remind me that dinner on Thanksgiving is at noon next week.” He kissed her before hanging his jacket on the back of a chair. “You said your parents are doing dessert at six, right?”

Cat nodded. In a few minutes, what time Mom planned to serve dessert might not matter.

“Did you already eat?” Tony stole a cookie from the package on the counter. “I’m starving. I had an early lunch today. Any ideas for dinner tonight?”

“No, I haven’t thought about it.” Tell him and get it over with. “This afternoon I had a meeting with Mr. Carson.”

Tony lowered the cookie away from his mouth. “That’s the president you had the interview with last week?”

“Yes.” She blinked several times, hoping to keep the tears from falling.

“And?” When she didn’t answer, he moved closer, putting his hands on her shoulders. “What’s the matter? Did they choose someone else?”

Words refused to come, and despite her efforts, a tear slipped down her cheek.

“I’m sorry, Cat. I know you wanted the job.” Tony wiped the tear off her cheek and tried to pull her close.

Shaking her head, she took Tony’s hand. “Mr. Carson offered me the position.”

If she hadn’t been watching, she would’ve missed Tony’s frown. It came and went that fast.

“Congrats.” He smiled at her, but the dimple she loved never appeared. “When do you start?”

“He wants me in California before January 1st.”

The smile on Tony’s face faltered. “That’ll be here fast. If you need help with anything, just ask.”

Okay, it’s time. She couldn’t put it off any longer. “I didn’t accept the position yet. I told him I’d give him an answer tomorrow.”

“Why not? It sounds like a great opportunity.”

It looked like she had to spell it out for him. “If I move, it’ll mean leaving you.”

He swallowed, and then his lips parted as if he intended to say something, but no words followed.

She reached for his other hand. “I love you.”

The word love hung in the air between them, a tangible thing.

“Tony, just say the word and I won’t move,” she said when he continued to do his best impression of a statue. “Tomorrow, when I see Mr. Carson, I’ll tell him I can’t accept the position.”

Okay, it’s your turn to say something, Tony.

Rather than speak, he took a step back and her heart cracked.

“Cat, you can’t pass up this opportunity.”

“There’ll be others. You’re more important to me than some position.”

Tony gave her the saddest smile she’d ever seen, and her heart broke in two.

“The time we’ve spent together has been great, but I don’t want anything permanent. You knew that about me going in.” He looked away for a second before meeting her eyes again. “Take the position. If you don’t, you’ll regret it later.”

She heard the catch in his voice as he spoke. He didn’t mean what he said. He cared about her. She knew he did.

“You can honestly tell me you don’t care about me? That it doesn’t matter at all to you if I leave?”

The muscle in Tony’s cheek twitched. “I’ll miss you. We’ve had a lot of fun together, but you shouldn’t stay because of that. You need to do what is best for you, which means accepting that position.”

The tears she held back broke free. He really didn’t love her. If he did, he wouldn’t be saying these things. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe. Somehow in the last few minutes, breathing had become impossible.

“Please don’t cry.” He removed his hands from hers and wiped the tears from her face.

He didn’t want her to cry. Now that was funny. He’d just broken her heart. What did he want her to do, giggle? Cat enjoyed Tony’s touch one last time and then moved away from him. “You’re right. I can’t stay just because we had some fun together.” She pushed all emotion aside. “Tomorrow, I’ll let Mr. Carson know I’m taking the position,” she said as cool and clear as ice.

“If you need any––”

“I’ll be fine.” She sounded a little like a shrew, but given the circumstances, she couldn’t help it. The man had just broken her heart, yet he wanted to act like her friend.

“Well, if you––”

“Between my family and friends, I’ll be okay.”

Pain appeared in Tony’s eyes.

“I should call Mom and Pop. I haven’t told them the news.” She needed Tony gone so she could give into the emotions pulling her body apart. “I should probably call Striker too, so he can start planning his vacation out to California.”

“I’ll go so you can do that.” He picked his jacket up, but didn’t put it on. Instead, he just looked at her as if he was trying to memorize what she looked like. “Goodbye, Cat.”

 

Tony took the stairs two at a time, and when he reached the first floor, he bolted out the door. He wrestled with the urge to turn around and look up at Cat’s window. Instead of giving in though, he kept his head down as he walked to his car. Once inside, he jammed the keys into the ignition, but rather than turn them, he dropped his head back against the seat. The cold leather pressed against his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up, but it didn’t compare to the coldness already flowing through him.

I did the right thing. He couldn’t ask her to pass on the promotion so they could have another month or two together. Only a jackass would do that. Maybe if he wanted one woman attached to him forever, he would have considered asking her to stay, but he didn’t. He’d leave that kind of lifestyle to Sean and Mack. He liked variety.

If that’s true idiot, why does it feel like a fifty-pound kettlebell is sitting on your chest? Even if he lived to one hundred, he’d never get Cat’s words out of his head. I love you. Say the word and I’ll stay. He didn’t doubt she meant them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t return the emotion.

“You can, but you won’t,” his heart whispered.

What difference did it make anyway? The time had come for them both to move on with their lives. That meant she’d be moving to California soon and he’d once again look for women who only wanted a little fun.

Opening his eyes, he started the car. He needed to get away from here before he did something he’d later regret, like rush back upstairs and beg Cat to forgive him.

Tony drove by O’Leary’s Pub and considered stopping. Although his appetite was gone, he still needed to eat. He turned his directional light on, preparing to turn into the parking lot, but at the last moment he switched it off and kept on driving. He hadn’t stopped in since the night he saw Cat sitting at the bar after being stood up by a blind date. Rather than take her to dinner that night, he should have made plans to meet up with Cora, the bartender, instead. If he’d done that, he never would’ve gotten involved with Cat. He would’ve continued to just think of her as Striker’s little sister.

Instead, he’d been an idiot that night. He’d let his penis, rather than his brain, think for him. Talk about making the biggest mistake of his life. An image of Cat’s face when he told her to take the position formed and the kettlebell on his chest pressed down. I did the right thing. He needed to keep telling himself that.

The right thing for who?

He refused to think about that question.

After driving around with no destination in mind, he pulled into Sean’s driveway. If he returned home, he suspected he’d rethink his decision. If he started doing that, he feared he’d do something really dumb, like drive back to Cat’s, tell her he’d been wrong, and ask her to stay.

After ringing the doorbell, Tony waited. Sean’s truck was in the driveway and several lights were on inside the house, so he was home.

Sean opened the door, his wallet in his hand. “Tony, I thought you were the pizza guy,” he said, shoving the wallet into his back pocket. “Come on in.” He started to move away from the door, but then stopped.

Tony glanced over his shoulder and watched the compact car with the Uncle Mario’s sign attached to the roof pull in behind his car.

“Hey, Coach Bates,” George Dalton, a player on the football team, said as he walked up the walkway with a pizza box in hand.

“Hi, George,” Tony answered and then waited while Sean paid for his food.

“See ya at practice tomorrow, Coach.” George threw him a wave before he went down the steps.

By tomorrow, both Cat’s father and brother would know he’d ended things. He didn’t expect her father to say anything. He’d never commented about their relationship before, so why would he start now that it was over. While he had no doubt Striker would be happy that he’d ended their relationship, Tony suspected Striker would give him hell for hurting his sister. Although he’d never intended to do that, he knew he had. No one looked as upset as she had tonight if they weren’t hurting. She’d get over it though. In a few weeks, she’d realize he’d made the right decision concerning them. Maybe in another few months, he’d hear she’d met some guy out in California and they were living together.

“Who pissed you off?” Sean asked as he put the pizza box down on the kitchen table. “You look about ready to strangle someone.”

He’d let a mere thought piss him off. Christ, he needed to get himself together. “Thinking about a client at the gym.”

Sean didn’t question the excuse, probably because no matter what, you could always use work as an excuse for a bad mood. “On your own tonight?” he asked, offering Tony a plate.

He’d been starving when he walked into Cat’s apartment. Now, the last thing he wanted was food. “Yeah.” He accepted the plate, but didn’t take any pizza. “Do you have any cold beer?” Maybe a few drinks would dull the pain in his chest.

“Help yourself. Grab me one too.”

Tony drank half his bottle down on the first gulp while Sean started on his dinner.

“Did you already eat?”

He eyed the sausage, peperoni, and mushroom pizza and then picked up his beer. “Late lunch.” The lie easily slipped from his mouth.

Sean finished off his first slice of pizza and took a second before he spoke again. “I didn’t see Cat’s car at your house yesterday or this morning when I went by. Did she move back home?”

“She moved out on Saturday. Striker can stop bitching to you like a little girl.”

“Did she need a break from you? Is that why you’re here tonight?”

Occasionally, Sean gave him a hard time about the way he approached relationships. For the most part, however, they didn’t talk all that much about the women in Tony’s life. If he told Sean the truth about him and Cat now, he suspected Sean would give him an earful. Tony did not need or want that right now.

“Something like that.” He went to grab another beer and popped it open before he sat down again. “You up for a game of pool?” Since the beer wasn’t doing anything to dull the pain or the thoughts in his head, maybe a distraction would help.

“Always. Let me finish this.” Sean gestured toward his pizza.

A few minutes later, Sean put his empty plate in the sink. Before they went downstairs, Tony grabbed his third beer. “Do you want another?”

“I’m good,” Sean said as he pulled his ringing phone from his pocket. “It’s Mia. I’ll be down in a few.”

A lovey-dovey conversation between Sean and Mia was the last thing he needed to hear, so he nodded and went downstairs. After taking another long swallow of his beer, he took a pool stick down from the wall. Not that it would help much against Sean, but a little practice while he waited would pass the time.

Tony lined up his shot and sent the cue ball barreling into a solid green ball. He watched it roll toward the side pocket and his and Sean’s conversation from the last time they played came to mind again. He had lost count of how many times he’d considered that stupid conversation. Each time he did, he told himself Sean didn’t know what he was talking about. That Sean was dead wrong about everything.

Tonight, he just couldn’t do it.

Was Sean right? Had Catrina slipped into his heart when he wasn’t looking? If she had, how was he going to get her out of it?

The green ball rolled just short of dropping into the pocket. Considering the way his night was going so far, what else had he expected? He lined up his next shot, intent on sinking the green ball.

“Mia couldn’t talk long tonight,” Sean said, taking a pool stick off the wall. “She has plans with her mom.” Sean’s tone of voice made him wonder if his friend didn’t particularly care for Mrs. Troy.

“Have you met Mia’s parents?” Tony asked.

“Once after the accident. Her father and I got along. Her mom’s a piece of work. Mia said she’s been trying to change her mind about moving here. I think she’ll be the mother-in-law from hell.”

“When are you proposing?”

“As soon as we get back from Thanksgiving dinner at her grandparents’ house. Ma’s going to make sure everything is ready here.”

“You’re not celebrating Thanksgiving with your mom?” Sean always spent the holidays with his mother.

“Not this year. Charlie and Jake are coming up, so they’ll be with Ma and Ray.” Sean racked the balls on the table. “What are your plans this year? Are you and Cat going to your parents’ house or are you spending it with hers?”

That had been the plan up until a few hours ago. Now though, he was considering skipping the holiday all together. Before he answered, Tony finished off the beer he’d taken down with him and went to the refrigerator Sean kept downstairs for another.

“I don’t know what I’m doing this year.”

Sean had started to line up his first shot, but when Tony answered, he stood up straight. At first, he didn’t say anything.

“Are we gonna play or what?” Tony opened the beer in his hand, hoping to distract Sean from whatever thoughts were going on in his head.

Instead of getting his shot lined up again, Sean looked at him and then the beer in his hand. “You ended things with her.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement, and Tony wondered what gave him away. “She got a promotion, so she’s moving to California next month.”

“She broke up with you?” Sean’s voice contained a twinge of doubt. “Didn’t expect that. Sorry about that, buddy.”

Tony looked away and leaned toward the pool table, ready to break the balls apart since it looked like Sean wasn’t going to.

“People in town were starting to think you two were serious. Ma was ready to buy you a wedding present.”

“I told you, we were just having some fun together.” Launching the cue ball into the neatly arranged balls, he watched them scatter every direction. Somehow though, not a single one went into a pocket. Disgusted at both his poor break and his life at the moment, Tony grabbed his beer and lifted it toward his mouth.

Sean took it from his hand before he got a single sip from it. “Maybe you should slow down. That’s your fourth already.”

“I’m thirsty,” he said, but he didn’t try to take it back. While the alcohol hadn’t helped dislodge the hand squeezing his heart, it had started making his head spin a little. Perhaps three full beers on an empty stomach wasn’t a good idea.

After putting the beer on an empty folding chair, Sean got ready to take his shot. “You don’t usually drink like that.” With one smooth motion, Sean hit the white cue ball and sent a solid purple ball down the table and into a corner pocket. He straightened up and cleared his throat. “Are you sure you’re okay.”

He didn’t think about it often, but Sean O’Brien was his best friend. In fact, he considered him another brother. Over the years, they’d talked about everything except their feelings. Neither of them was big on sharing how they felt. Even when Isabella died, they hadn’t talked about how he felt. He didn’t see any reason to break that tradition now.

“Fantastic. Why would I be anything else?” Tony tapped his fingers against the pool table. “I did the right thing.”

He watched and waited for Sean to take his next shot. He didn’t do it. Instead, he leaned his pool stick up against the table and sat down.

“You did the right thing?” Sean asked.

“What are you taking about?”

“Tony, you just said you did the right thing. What did you do?”

The beer was definitely affecting him more than usual. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. “I told her to take the position. She earned it.”

“Cat didn’t break up with you. You dumped her.”

He heard the disgust in Sean’s voice and looked away as he sat down in one of the stiff plastic chairs. “Her company offered her a promotion. Some supervisor’s position out in California. I told her to take it. “

“That’s what she wants?”

“Cat applied for the position, so I’d say yeah. She wants that.” Tony looked down at his hands. “It’s a good opportunity for her. Besides, we were both starting to get bored with each other.”

“Keeping trying to convince yourself of that.”

“What do you know anyway?” Anger brewed low in his stomach, but Tony didn’t know if it was toward Sean or himself. “Cat told me weeks ago she wanted some fun. That’s what I gave her. Now, she’s moving on.”

“She told you she wanted to move on?”

Maybe being in a relationship had done something to Sean’s brain because, before tonight, they’d never discussed this type of stuff. “Come on, let’s just play.”

“Watching you squirm is much more fun.” Sean leaned back in his chair and waited.

Swiping his beer bottle off the chair, Tony took a long gulp and then rested his elbows on his knees. “She said she’d stay if I wanted.” He watched the bottle swing back and forth between his knees. “She said she loved me.” His stomach twisted when he thought of the way Cat’s voice cracked when she asked if he cared about her.

“And you told her to go. You’re a spineless ass.” Sean reached for his pool stick, but didn’t stand up. “You’re going to regret your decision.”

Tony disagreed. He wasn’t going to regret his decision, because part of him already did regret it.