Chapter Twenty-One
Unease had settled over Haley’s spine after waiting several long minutes out on the porch for Cord. Had she gotten it wrong? Was she supposed to meet him in her office? She finally headed inside, surprised to find him sitting behind her desk, box of condoms on the blotter while he stared at her opened drawer.
“Hey? Where’d you go?” Her smile faded when she saw his ashen face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“No. I’m not.” His voice was gravely with raw pain and anger, and it stopped her in her tracks. “I can’t believe you were divorcing Drew while we were deployed.”
She exhaled. Dammit. The divorce papers. She hadn’t wanted to taint his friend’s memory. “It wasn’t like that.”
His bark of laughter echoed around them, sounding as hollow as his gaze. “You trying to deny you didn’t file for divorce? I can see the damn papers right there.”
Oh God. This was a mess. “It wasn’t—”
“Yes or no, Haley,” he cut her off, tone more angry than hurt now. It was cold and unfeeling and she shivered at the frost entering his gaze.
“Yes, but—”
“No. No buts.” He jumped to his feet and scowled at her. “Do you have any idea what that does to a guy who’s deployed? Soldiers need support. Need to know everything is good on the homefront so they can fight and carry out their missions without distraction. Not just for themselves, but for their damn teammates and civilians, too.” He came around the front of the desk and glared at her. “I trusted you. We all trusted you. Shit like this puts the whole team in danger. And now Drew’s dead.”
Air funneled into her tight chest. “You have it all wrong.” She took her life in her hands and reached for his arm. “Please, just let me explain.”
He yanked out of her grasp and headed for the door. “Forget it.”
She followed him into his room and watched helplessly as he threw his belongings haphazardly in his duffle bag. “Drew was cheating on me.”
He stiffened but continued to stuff his damn bag. “I know.”
Wait…
Her heart lurched. “You knew?”
He stilled and had the good sense to appear ashamed. But then he shrugged it off and zipped up his bag. “Most of the major work is done around here. I think you can manage what’s left on the list.”
Pain funneled into her chest and she stumbled backward and leaned against the doorframe, nearly doubled over from the intensity. God…she couldn’t believe he knew and didn’t tell her.
Of course his loyalty would’ve been to Drew and not her.
She shouldn’t have trusted him. Shouldn’t have done a lot of things with him.
He was no different. In fact, he was worse.
She needed him gone. Needed to breathe.
God, she couldn’t breathe.
But she sure as hell wasn’t going to let him leave her ranch without hearing her out. She drew herself up to her full height and blocked the doorway. “I filed for divorce six months before Drew deployed. He wasn’t even living here. And I did not at any time send him papers overseas. He knew they were waiting for him when he returned because he refused to sign the damn things the entire six months before he left.”
Cord blinked at her as some of her words started to finally sink in. “You didn’t send him anything?”
She fought back a sob at the futility of the situation. “Hell no. I’d never do that. Never put all your lives on the line like that.” She sucked in a breath as the pain of his accusation gripped her anew. “God, Cord. I can’t believe you’d even think that. I thought you knew me.”
Seems she was the one who was wrong with her trust.
And that hurt. It hurt so bad.
“But the date…” His voice trailed off as he obviously tried to do the math.
“That was the date I asked the lawyer to send me an extra copy, because Drew was so mad he kept shredding them. I wanted a backup for when he returned.” She understood how it looked. She really did. But the fact he’d jumped to that conclusion in the first place sat like a fat fist in her throat. And then he hadn’t even allowed her a chance to explain, cutting her off, too busy jumping to conclusions. She hadn’t even told him everything.
To hell with it. None of it mattered now.
But that wasn’t the worst part.
That wasn’t the part that hurt so bad tears burned her eyes and throat, and her whole body ached as if she’d been run over by a tank.
He knew. Cord knew.
Tears dripped down her face as she turned blindly toward the door. “You can see yourself out.”
Without waiting for the rest of it to get through his thick skull, she headed down the hall, slipping into a pair of shorts she grabbed from the basket of clean clothes on her dryer, and stopped by the door long enough to shove her feet into a pair of cowboy boots. Staying inside the house right now wasn’t an option. It was killing her. He was killing her.
She wanted to let go. To cry and throw up and cry some more and scream at the world. God, she was tired. So tired. Tired of all the bad shit happening to her. Tired of making wrong choices.
Why had she trusted him with her heart? She’d done it with Drew and he’d stomped all over it. Now Cord had crushed what remained.
She sucked in a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and walked out.