Holly

“I’m so glad I was able to drag you out of the house,” Harley exhaled, plopping down onto a chair and slurping at her smoothie. “It’s been way too long since we last had H’s united time. I miss you.”

We lifted our pinky fingers and locked them together, just like we’d been doing ever since we’d come up with the silly nickname back in kindergarten almost thirteen years ago. She was so right; it had been way too long.

“I miss you, too,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a recluse lately.”

“Hey.” She reached for my hand. “It’s not like I don’t understand why. I just wish you’d let me be there for you, especially at this time of year when I know you’re missing her more than ever.”

I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder. This was going to be my first Christmas by myself. It had always been just my mom and me, the two of us versus the world, and Christmas was our special time. After I graduated high school, my mom finally started dating. She met Lucian Kane, an awesome guy, and I’d been ecstatic for her. But Lucian was from Florida, only in Connecticut for a summer. After he proposed, she moved there to live with him. She asked me to go with her, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my home.

We were planning to spend the holidays all together, but storms had been blowing through Connecticut for four days straight. My small town practically barricaded by snow. Their flights had been delayed, and then cancelled because the airports had finally shut down yesterday morning.

Thanksgiving was one thing, but Christmas—I wasn’t sure how I was going to celebrate without my family. My plan had been to hole up in my house and watch movies all weekend long. I was in a degree program for business and graphic art and had a summer project I could work on. Even though it was basically done. The degree was really a formality, though, I’d been working from home as a graphic artist for a year before I was done with high school. And, I had a ton of work to catch up on. But then Harley had barged in, ranting and raving about how it was Christmas Eve and we hadn’t done any shopping together like we did every year. Before I knew it, I was bundled up and headed to the mall with her. It was the first time in too long since I’d truly enjoyed myself. I was lucky to have a friend like her in my life.

“Your mom wouldn’t want you moping around on her favorite holiday.”

I laughed. “My mom really does love the holidays.”

“Obviously, since she named you Holly,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

I followed her lead, not wanting to spoil what had been a great morning on a day I had expected to suck beyond belief. “Hey, it’s better than your dad loving his motorcycle so much that your parents named you Harley.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she drawled. “Like I haven’t heard that from you before.”

“Only about a million times.”

“You know what else I’ve heard about a million times?” she asked, jumping up and dragging me to my feet. “Ho—”

“Ho! Ho!” the mall Santa finished off for her as we neared the North Pole display in the middle of the mall.

“Oh, no!” I tugged on my arm, trying to back away from her.

“C’mon! It’ll be fun,” she insisted, refusing to let me go.

“We’re too old to go sit on Santa’s lap,” I protested. “Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, they’re not going to let us do it.”

“Sure they will.” Harley pointed towards the female elf managing the line. “Kayla will make sure we get in.”

“Crap,” I muttered, recognizing one of Harley’s friends from high school. They’d been on the cheerleading squad together for years, which meant Harley was right—it didn’t matter that we were a good ten years older than the biggest kid in line, they weren’t going to turn us away.

With the sympathetic gleam in Kayla’s eyes as she looked from Harley to me, there would be no way for me to get out of this gracefully. Forcing a smile onto my face, I made small talk until it was our turn. Harley went first, eliciting a giggle from me when she started to sing “Santa Baby” as she settled herself on Santa’s lap. By the time she hopped off, there was a blush staining his cheeks and I was giggling so hard I almost couldn’t make my way up to where he was sitting.

“It’s your turn now. No excuses.” Kayla nudged me forwards.

“Alright, I’m going,” I huffed.

“Sorry about this,” I mumbled.

“No apologies needed. Your friend there was the most entertaining visitor I’ve had all season.”

“I’m sure she was. She’s quite the handful.”

“You can say that again,” he agreed, his eyes darting over to where she stood for a moment.

I peered more closely at his face and realized the mall Santa wasn’t quite as old as I’d originally thought. And he definitely wasn’t as soft and round as the padding made him seem, if the bunched muscles of his thigh were any indication. I had a feeling there was a hot guy under that suit, one who was interested in my best friend.

Interesting. Maybe our little visit to Santa was more about her than me.

“What are you wishing for this Christmas?”

Santa’s question drew me out of my thoughts about him and Harley. My mind blanked for a moment. I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted this year. Well, except for one thing…

“My Christmas wish isn’t a what. It’s a who,” I whispered.

“Me, too,” he admitted softly, right before Harley helped me off his lap and wrapped her arms around me.

“Oh, Holly. I’m so sorry for pushing you into this. Of course your Christmas wish is to be with your mom.”

Maybe it should have been, but it wasn’t. The person I found myself wishing for was quite a surprise. It was someone else’s face that instantly came to mind. A boy I’d tried not to think too much about over the past few years. The only boy I’d ever dated, back in my freshmen year of high school.

My face, along with my whole body, heated at my thoughts of him. Unfortunately, Harley’s eagle eyes didn’t miss a thing.

“What’s up with the blush?” she asked, tugging me away from the North Pole display.

“Nothing.”

I thought I was going to get lucky, and that she was going to let me get away with it. Of course, I was wrong.

“Spill it, Holly. Why were you blushing like that?”

“Because for some stupid reason, the first thing that popped into my head when your Santa-boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas was Jacob.”

“Jacob Marley?” she gasped.

“What other Jacob would it be?” I grumbled.

“But you haven’t mentioned him in, what? Three years?”

“Three years, three months and two days.”

“Holy crap,” she breathed.

Yeah, it was kind of shocking to realize I’d mentally kept track of the days all this time. Harley had been the one I’d spilled my heart out to when Jacob’s family had moved all the way across the country to Oregon at the end of my freshman, and his junior, year. We’d only been dating for a few months, but my young heart had been sure he was the one for me.

Like most high school sweethearts who were separated, it didn’t withstand the distance and we lost touch. Young love was real, but it still didn’t bind the way a mature heart would. I’d never gotten over him, though. Never dated another boy. Never so much as kissed anyone else in all the years since. With my mom so far away, it seemed like all I had was time lately. Lots and lots of free time on my hands. And apparently that extra time had led to thoughts about Jacob Marley. The one who’d gotten away. And the one I wanted for Christmas… if only holiday wishes really did come true.

But they didn’t. If they did, I wouldn’t be headed home to an empty house on Christmas Eve. My mom would be there, Jacob would never have moved and we’d have been together the last three holidays.

“It doesn’t feel right, dropping you off like this,” Harley grumbled as she pulled into my driveway. “My mom and dad have asked me a million times why you aren’t spending the night with us tonight.”

I looked up at the house I’d spent my entire childhood in. There were so many happy memories we’d made in it. My mom was disappointed when I didn’t move with her, she and Lucian were worried about leaving me on my own. Lucian surprised us both by paying off my childhood home and giving it to me as a gift. He made sure I could live in it for however long I’d like because it was mine, free and clear. It was the one place in the world where I felt like I belonged. Where the sadness of missing my mom didn’t seem quite so bad since I was surrounded by her and such wonderful memories there. “Tell them thank you, but I feel like I need to be here tonight. I’m going to read a steamy holiday romance and maybe get a little tipsy on some eggnog. Well, maybe not tipsy since my mom isn’t here to add the liquor.”

“Okay.” Her lips twitched but she heaved a huge sigh, making it clear she wished my answer was different. “But if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“You’re going to call and check up on me as soon as you get home, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am!”

“Just remember,” I warned as I stepped out of her car and leaned inside to wag a finger at her. “The more often you call, the more chances I’ll get to ask you about Santa.”

“Shit.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “There isn’t much to tell.”

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows at her. “Uh-huh. And Peter Pan was one of Santa’s elves.”

“Fine. Every time you ask me about him, I’ll just have to ask you about Jacob. And harass you about why you’re such a chicken and haven’t tried to look him up,” she said, and one-upped me on the threats.

“You’re impossible,” I grumbled. Mostly irritated because she was right. I was a chicken. I’d thought of looking him up since I graduated, but the thought of finding out that he wasn’t single kept me from going through with it.