Chapter Thirteen
A footman escorted them from the entrance of Merritt’s townhome to the staircase that led to the second-floor ballroom.
“There weren’t many carriages out front. Do you suppose the short notice means that not many will attend?” Iris asked. She hated for Lucy to be disappointed.
“No, I think it was meant to be a small, intimate gathering,” Agnes said.
Her friends stepped in front of her and were introduced. Suddenly the music swelled for a few measures, then it stopped and the footman announced her.
“Introducing Lady Iris,” he said loudly.
As she stepped into the ballroom, she saw Merritt first, standing in the center of the room, hand extended toward her.
This wasn’t a ball for Lucy. This was an official coming out ball for her.
…
She was here. And she was stunning. The shimmering golden gown fit her every curve. He held his hand out to her, and she stepped forward.
“I was hoping you’d give me the honor of the first dance,” he said.
“You did this? For me?” she asked, her voice filled with emotion.
“I did. Not too many people were invited. Only the ones I know are most important to you,” he said.
She glanced around the room, her eyes widening as she recognized people. Lucy waved at her. Her brother offered her a bow.
Her lovely green eyes met Merritt’s. “Why did you do this?”
“Because you never had this, and you deserve to have everything a woman could want.” He took a sobering breath. “And because I wanted—no, I needed to apologize to you. Will you hear me out?”
Her eyes glistened, but she nodded. He led her onto a balcony off the far wall.
He was quiet for a moment once they reached the cool night air. He doubted this would work, but he owed it to her to explain, to tell her how he felt. “Iris, I know you are angry. You have every right to be. I betrayed you. I have no excuse, but I do have a reason.”
She nodded for him to continue.
“After all the time we’d spent together, I was terrified of how you made me feel, of the things you made me want. I spent my life loathing everything about the aristocracy, and I was determined that, despite my inheritance and my title, I would not be a part of them. Not truly. When I met you, for the first time since inheriting my title, I was tempted to become a part of that world. To put aside the standards I had set for myself and live like one of the aristocracy. Because, you see, I knew I could not have you if I didn’t. But, still I resisted.
“So when I saw you in action that night, then followed up and learned about the Ladies of Virtue, all I could think about was that if you were anyone else, I’d write and print the story. And to prove to myself that you meant nothing to me, that I hadn’t fallen under your spell, I printed it. I wanted so desperately to be a man I could be proud of. But I’ve realized now that none of that matters. That the only thing that truly matters is whether I can be a man that you can be proud of.”
“And so you hosted a ball for me?”
“I wanted to talk to you, and I wasn’t certain you’d listen to me under any other circumstances.”
“The ball is a little late, as I’m obviously no debutante. Still, I’m so grateful. This was exceptionally kind of you,” she said.
“One other reason, Iris,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Because I love you.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head slightly. “I don’t understand.”
“I know. I know I told you that I couldn’t love you, and I didn’t think I could. Not because of you, but because of who I am. But the more I’m away from you, the more I have realized that I don’t want to marry you—”
“You don’t?”
He chuckled. “You didn’t allow me to finish. I don’t want to marry you because of any potential scandals. I want to marry you because I want to be with you. I want you by my side always. I don’t want another man to touch you or kiss you or even look at you in an untoward manner. I think about you every moment that I’m away from you, wondering when I will get to see you again. When will I get to hear your laugh, see you smile, make your eyes go dark with desire? I’m not an expert, but I do believe that’s love.”
She laughed. “You love me? You love me.”
“Yes, I do. Shall I say it loud enough so that everyone inside can hear as well?”
“No, of course not. It is perfect with just the two of us.” Then she paused. “Merritt, I’m scared.”
“Scared of what, love?”
“Of loving you. Of losing you. Of becoming my mother and losing myself.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “Iris, you are the strongest woman I’ve ever known. There is nothing in the world that could cause you to lose yourself.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” she whispered.
“Yes.” He glanced around them. “Now I’m rather annoyed that there are so many people around us, as I’d like to pull you into my arms and kiss you senseless. So I might ask you again, Iris Bennington, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
“You do not first wish to know if I love you in return?”
“I would marry you without you loving me, but also, you talk in your sleep, and you told me that night in your bed.”
She popped him on the arm with the fan dangling from her wrist.
“I do love you, Merritt.”
“I don’t believe I shall ever tire of hearing that,” he said.
“Ask me again,” she said with a wicked grin.
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” She tossed her arms around his neck and clung to him, not caring about the people surrounding them. They were all friends and family. Certainly they knew why they were here.
“Are you going to require I ask you that on a regular basis?”
“Your proposals get better and better, so I just might.”
“I love you, Iris.”