I stare out over the cityscape, which is bathed in the warm pink light of the setting sun.

Wait a minute.

The setting sun? How long have I been standing here, frozen in a trance?

Hours.

I’ve completely abandoned my work. There’s no way I can concentrate on the new policies that I’m putting together for our Illinois factory when my mind is filled to bursting with Teresa’s news.

As the sun finally sinks down below the city, I realize just how trapped in my mind, and paralyzed I’ve become. My thoughts seem to be stuck in one repeating loop: she’s pregnant. How can this be? What does this mean, for me? All of my hard work—all of the possibilities and potential that have just opened up within me—are they gone? Crushed? What will happen now?

I’ve worn a path in the office’s new carpeting, because I’ve paced back and forth so much, my steps just as repetitive as my thoughts. I walk the track one more time, away from the window, towards my desk.

And yet, no answers come.

Enough!

I slam my hand against the desktop, pick up my phone, and call my brother. Maybe he’ll be able to help me escape from this confounded mental loop.

Within minutes, he’s swinging open my office doors. “Where have you been all day?” he asks. “Why did you miss the meeting with Father at three?”

“Sit down.”

He takes a seat. I walk behind my desk and place two palms down on the polished surface.

He eyes me warily. I know how I must look: my hair’s sticking straight up on end, and I’ve unbuttoned my shirt—the damn collar felt as if it was strangling me—and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows.

“Is this about that girl… Teresa? What was she doing here?”

I breathe through my nostrils. It feels almost impossible to voice the scenario that I find myself in, but I open my mouth and speak it because I have to. “She came with news. She’s pregnant.”

“What? No! You two… Jabir! You didn’t tell me that things were so serious with her!”

“They weren’t! I mean…I don’t know! That night that I went to her cottage for dinner. One thing led to another, and…”

“I see.” Hassan folds his arms across his chest. I see that he’s thinking through the implications of my news with lightning speed. His eyeballs dart back and forth. “She’s two months along, meaning the baby will be here towards the end of August. You have to decide. Will you send money, or will you go to Pennsylvania yourself?”

There. He’s cut through the tangled maze and laid things out clearly before me. This is what I needed. I knew I could count on Hassan’s logical mind.

I slump down into my seat. “I can’t go to Pennsylvania, Brother. That’s not an option. My life is here.”

“Your life is here now,” he says slowly, carefully. “But Jabir, in just seven months, you will have a child. Where will your life be, then?”

I don’t understand what he’s getting at. “Still here,” I say.

“Are you sure?”

I’m quiet. Thinking. “I think so,” I say.

“Teresa and your child will be in the States.”

“So?”

“Jabir, look. Before I was married, I thought that I had things figured out. I thought that if I worked hard enough, I would earn Father’s respect, my country’s respect, and ascend to the throne. I thought I would beat you to it, and that was the most important thing to me.”

“We both know the best man will win,” I say. “That’s how it should be.”

“Yes, I agree,” says Hassan. “And that used to be my whole ‘life’, as you say. That was everything. Everything.” He slices one hand through the air. “But then, I met Sirah, and fell in love. We had our son. And slowly, every day, pieces of my old life fell away.

“They were replaced, brick by brick, by a new life. The way Sirah kisses me goodbye in the morning, and greets me in the evening. The look in Jamal’s eyes when I hold him. The joy of seeing his first step. The way it feels to lie in bed at the end of the day, knowing that I was a good father. Steadily, a new foundation was built for me. Tall, towering walls. An entire new life.”

“That’s you, Hassan. You’re a family man. I’m… I’m just not.”

“Because you don’t have a family, yet,” He says. “But you will, this summer. When your child is born, you will become a father. You don’t know what it is like to have a family until you experience it. But trust me, Jabir, it is the best feeling in the world.”

This is not how I expected our talk to go. It’s no wonder these thoughts did not occur to me. How could I imagine something that I’ve never experienced?

My brother continues. “Your family becomes your whole world, Jabir. Everything else fades into the background, to the point of almost being insignificant. You have a whole new center. A new axis to revolve around.”

“But Hassan… I will have to give up so much.”

I’m thinking of the throne, of course, and Hassan knows it. Of course he is well aware of the increased responsibilities that Father has been placing on me, and the ease with which I am handling them. He sees how Father treats me. He knows that I have a good chance of being chosen as his successor.

Hassan speaks. Again, his tone is slow and diplomatic. “You are correct. Father will probably pass you over for the succession because of an illegitimate child. But that’s not the right way to look at it.”

“How else can I look at it?” I arch my eyebrows up.

“Instead of thinking about what you are giving up, you could think about what you stand to gain. A son or daughter. A woman who loves and respects you. A family, Jabir. The best gift that God has to offer on this earth.”

I place both elbows on the desk, and hang my head down low, cupping the back of my skull in my hands. My brother’s words are scaring me. “I thought you might advise me to get a lawyer, or give me tips on how to keep the situation quiet with the press,” I mumble. “You’re not saying what I thought you would say.”

“Jabir, in the thirty years that you have been my brother, you have always followed your heart. I can’t tell you what to do—I never could. But I’m telling you, as a father myself, that you should seriously consider all possibilities.”

“Okay, then what are my other possibilities?” I yank my head up, staring at him wild eyed.

“You could hire a lawyer, like you said. You could draw up paperwork that will help you and Teresa reach a financial agreement. Include some clauses about confidentiality, and keep the whole thing quiet. That is one option.”

My breathing evens out. There are options.

“But… Jabir?” My brother stands up. I see he’s going to leave. “Don’t rush to any decisions. This might be the biggest decision you make in your entire life. Yes, you might regret forfeiting your chance to be ruler, but in my opinion, you might regret a distant and forgotten child even more.” With that, he walks away from the desk, heading for the door.

Just as he’s slipping through the door, I lift my hand. “Hassan!”

“Yes, Brother?”

“Don’t say anything to anyone about this, especially Father. Please. I need to think things through first.”

“I understand. My lips are sealed.”

He slips through the door and the doors thud closed behind him. I’m left alone in the quiet office. Hassan has freed me from my repetitive loop of thoughts, but now that I’ve escaped I find that I feel more lost than ever.