Spill
"WHAT DO YOU THINK of your experiment, Marie? Your two-week sexual hiatus?" asked Will.
"We still have a week to go," I answered, snuggling into him, front to front, my head in his bare chest, in his antique bed that night. I felt comfy in my light pink tank top and blue plaid pajama shorts. We were both peaceful now, having picked enough fights with each other for the time being. "It's too early to tell. So far so good. You’re overwhelming, big guy. The sex is too good." I looked up and could see the smirk on his face. "I needed to take a break to sort out my head. But it seemed to work."
He leaned over and kissed me. "Yeah," he said. "You did. You finally get your shit together?"
I nodded. "I think so. I’ve never been like this. I've never allowed a guy in or anyone, really. I don't know, I just somehow got the idea that I needed to be fun all the time. But if you're fun all the time, you don't get to the deeper stuff. It's like all desserts and no vegetables. I’d never really let myself be open with another person, except for Amelia, and that's different. Sure, I had crushes, and sure I had liked guys and had sex—"
"Not sure I wanna hear this part," he complained, eyes amused.
"But no one, ever, has made me feel the way you do. I dated a lot. I partied a lot. I laughed and drank and had fun. It was all light, though. There was no depth to it. I never fell. Not for real, in a sense that was open and honest. No one ever showed me the stars like you do."
He squeezed me. "I get it, darlin'."
"So we're going to keep this moratorium up for another week?" I asked.
"Yeah." He lazed a hand down my arm.
"Why?"
"I think we agreed on it so we should do it," he responded, his eyes liquid. "I want us to keep our promises to each other."
I liked that answer. Still. "Did we cheat in the shower?"
He grinned his half-smile. "I didn't fuck you, so no." And he kissed me. When we broke apart, I had to find my breath.
"Okay," I agreed.
In the shower, he hadn't touched me and I didn't touch him, but it was hot. Seeing him take care of himself while I took care of myself? Erotic as hell. Both of us looking into each other's eyes, the water flowing around us, the need there, but no touching each other. It felt intimate in a way I'd never been intimate before. That was definitely part of the reason why we were both so relaxed right now. That, and finally confessing our feelings for each other.
Now that I realized it, I’d felt my extraordinary feelings for him all along. I was just a dumb shit for not identifying them and for thinking of reasons to not let them in.
So where would we go from here?
Curiosity came over me. "Are you going to tell me what you are going to do to me on Friday? What is the anything?"
He kissed me softly, ran his finger down my cheek, and said with his lowest voice, "If I had to pick right now? Making love to you, very slowly, taking my time, exploring your body with my mouth and my fingers and then my cock, making you hum, then making you come. Games can wait."
Fuck me. "That'd work," I muttered, nonchalantly, and totally faking it. Then I snuggled into him again. "But no. I want to see you kinky. You've held back with me. I want to see it."
He buried his nose in my hair and said, "You want it, you got it. I'll have to go to the store. Need supplies. But I'm not telling. Man's gotta have some secrets."
"No he doesn't. Spill."
"Nope."
Shit.
Cuddling with my cowboy, I took a moment to acknowledge how good it felt to be in the arms of this good man that I loved—yes, loved, but who also could work my body the way he did.
It felt like I had completely shed myself of a layer of old, dead skin that didn't fit me anymore. Sure, there were more layers underneath, but it felt like I had unburdened myself from some of my crap. And to know that he loved me back, and had been showing it practically since we met? Awesome.
And I was thrilled beyond belief to find out what he planned next. We went to sleep and when we woke up, we spent most of the rest of the weekend together. He did the rounds of the ranch Saturday morning, and we both checked on Happy, for whom the crisis had passed, although we were still on alert.
Saturday afternoon, after lunch with his parents, he took me for a walk along the beach with Trixie. He brought a tennis ball with him and threw it for Trixie to catch. At one point, he threw it, and Trixie ran in the water on her way to catch it and got totally wet, coming back and shaking all over us. We kept our hands off of each other, but I'll admit that it was harder than usual to do so, seeing him all wet in a white t-shirt sticking to his farm boy sculpted torso.
Later on, we drove to Ryan's beach house to join him and Amelia for dinner, taking advantage of the classic California summer evening, clear and comfortable at the beach, with a slight breeze. I didn't know how Amelia hooked one who could cook and liked to do so, but Ryan cooked for all of us while Amelia and I sat outside on the deck, gossiping, catching up, watching the surf and surfers, and drinking chilled white wine. Ryan cooked barbecued chicken. He was so sweet, though, because the rest of the meal was vegan, with a lentil salad, herbed rice, a huge green salad, and a vegan cake from Trader Joe's, a place that was apparently an obsession of his. He also refused help from anyone. While the girls were outside, Trixie curled up at Will's feet, who sat on a bar stool inside, drinking beer and talking to Ryan about farming.
Amelia went on for at least twenty minutes about the table settings for her wedding, but she didn't seem to care too much about the dress, cake, guest list, or anything else. That was my girl.
"So you're going to be my maid of honor, right?" she finally asked me.
"Girl? I thought you'd never ask. Although that's not really asking, that's telling. You've been hanging around a bossy guy too long."
She laughed. "Bossy guys can be hot if they love you." Then she continued. "I'm so glad you got your head out of your ass, girl. What the fuck? How come you took so long to get it about your cowboy god? I knew it when we visited."
"At first I didn't want to because he can be such an asshole. And then I didn't want to because he’s a Republican asshole, and that's worse. And then I didn't want to because, well, I didn't. I don't know. I started thinking that if I really liked him, I had to leave at the end of summer and I didn't want to fall for someone that hard if it's just a summer thing."
"Ever since I've known you," she said, "you've been the crazy party girl that everyone adored, but no one really knew. I got in there early and I've stayed there. No one else that I know of has. I'm glad that Will broke through. He's a keeper."
I nodded. He was.