18
SCARLETT
Secrets Never Told
Sunday’s itinerary kicked off with an excursion to Niagara Falls. After breakfast everyone bundled up in warm clothes, split up into four groups and piled into rental cars.
Viggo and Scarlett led the caravan of vehicles bound for Ontario. The large SUV he’d rented seated eight comfortably. So Reid and Nadia, Luke and Ana, and Nelson and Bianca rode with them.
Lennox, Ryder, Avery and Aria carpooled together while Reid’s parents and grandparents followed close behind, the elder Warners bringing up the rear.
It was a beautiful wintry day with the sun shining brightly in a clear blue sky. Viggo held Scarlett’s hand as he drove, bringing it to his lips every few minutes and winking at her.
Her body was still humming from their night of feverish lovemaking. She’d ridden him long and hard, her hand clamped over his mouth to smother his groans. As they both came, she’d swallowed his shout of satisfaction with a hungry kiss. When he flipped her over, yanked her onto all fours and started fucking her from behind, it was her turn to bury her face in her pillow to muffle her screams. But his pounding back shots were so raw and primal, there was no way the sound of flesh smacking flesh didn’t escape the room.
The memory spread tingling heat through her body, causing her to press her thighs together. The movement didn’t go unnoticed by Viggo. She watched his gaze slide from her legs to her breasts to her eyes. The slow, knowing smile he gave her made her want to get naked and sweaty with him. Again.
The road trip to Niagara Falls was filled with laughter and conversation and spirited gender debates. The girls argued that Serena Williams could beat Roger Federer in a tennis match. The guys adamantly insisted that this was impossible, citing the differences in strength, power and endurance between men and women. By the time they reached their destination, Ana had defected to the other side, drawing boos and jeers from the girls.
They all parked and spilled out of their vehicles, buttoning their heavy coats and pulling on hats, gloves and scarves.
Everyone had been to Niagara Falls during the spring or summer, but never winter. It was absolutely breathtaking. Parts of the waterfalls were frozen into towering white walls, and the rushing waters below were blanketed with layers of snow and ice. It was a sight to behold but it was freaking cold out there, and the glacial mist rising from the Falls made the weather even more frigid.
Since it was winter, they didn’t have to deal with huge crowds of tourists. They practically had the place to themselves as they strolled along the perimeter of the Falls, shivering and laughing and taking group selfies against the stunning backdrop of the frozen waterfalls. When the swirling mist caught the sun’s rays to form a shimmering rainbow, everyone oohed and aahed and snapped more pictures.
When they couldn’t stand the cold anymore, they ducked into a nearby casino to warm up. While the parents and grandparents made a beeline to the slot machines, the rest headed to the bar, grabbed a table and ordered drinks.
In contrast to outdoors, the casino was bustling with customers. The air buzzed with the din of clanging bells, ringing buzzers and the occasional ecstatic squeal from some lucky gambler.
Scarlett sat cuddled up next to Viggo. His arm was draped around the back of her chair, one broad finger lazily stroking her shoulder. His touch was both soothing and arousing, heating her skin beneath the soft wool of her sweater. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder, smiling as she listened to the animated conversations around them.
Across the table, Lennox and Avery were laughing and teasing each other. Scarlett’s smile softened as she watched them. Her brother’s dreadlocks were pulled back into a ponytail that showed off the strong bone structure of his handsome face. Women were always hitting on him at the gym where he worked as a personal trainer. It was so bad that some of his female clients liked to pretend that he was their boyfriend, even if only in their minds.
Scarlett remembered the time she’d stopped by the gym for a midday workout. She’d snuck up behind Lennox and jumped on his back. The woman he was talking to nearly clobbered her over the head with a barbell, not realizing that she was his sister. She and Lennox still got a good laugh over that one.
As she observed his playful exchange with Reid’s pretty sister, she wondered if Avery would be the latest to fall victim to Lennox’s natural charm and charisma. She hoped not, for Avery’s sake.
A woman’s gleeful squeal had everyone looking across the casino to see Grandma Holden jumping up and down excitedly while chips poured out of a flashing slot machine. She kissed Grandpa Holden and hugged Scarlett’s mother, then danced a happy jig around them. Her boisterous celebration sent a rumble of laughter through the bar.
As Reid’s siblings headed over to investigate how much their grandmother had won, he called after them, “Tell her to take the money and quit while she’s ahead.”
This set off more laughter as Reid went back to nuzzling Nadia’s hair and trying to peek down her sweater.
Scarlett smiled teasingly at Viggo. “You’re not a gambler?”
“Nah. Not really.” He brought his mouth to her ear, his breath warm on her skin. “But I do enjoy a good game of poker. Strip poker, specifically. Wanna play after dinner?”
She shivered, heat flaring in her belly. “I didn’t pack any playing cards.”
He nibbled her earlobe. “I’m sure we can find some at the gift shop.”
“Hmm.” She sipped her martini, the vodka heating her insides even more. “I thought we were supposed to hang out in the hot tub with the others after dinner.”
“That’s even better,” Viggo rumbled in her ear.
“Why?”
“You’ll already be in a bathing suit. It won’t take me long to get you completely naked.”
Her thighs clenched. “Don’t be too sure of how quickly you can beat me at—”
“Oh my God!” an excited female voice cut across the bar. “I was right! It is them!”
Every head turned to watch as a group of young women rushed toward Viggo and Reid, boobs bouncing in tight sweaters and long hair streaming out like banners. Viggo and Reid had barely straightened in their chairs before they found themselves swarmed by puck bunnies squealing their names and giggling breathlessly. When they stood up, the squealing grew louder and the hair flipping got so out of control that Scarlett rolled her eyes.
The girls had Canadian accents and gushingly confessed to being Maple Leafs fans with a serious weakness for the “bad boy” Rebels.
Reid grinned at them. “So that means you ladies will be rooting for us tomorrow, right?”
“Of course!” they assured him, all sugary smiles and batting eyelashes.
When he winked, they swooned and burst into hysterical giggles that had Nadia rolling her eyes this time. Scarlett wanted to laugh. Hadn’t Reid learned his lesson about flirting—however innocently—with Canadian chicks?
He and Viggo made a point of introducing Nadia and Scarlett. But that didn’t stop the bunnies from fawning and squealing as they tweeted the selfies they took with Reid and Viggo. They were causing such a commotion that more people came over to meet the NHL superstars.
“We recognized you guys right away,” one man sheepishly admitted, “but we were trying to respect your privacy.”
Viggo and Reid graciously signed everything they were given, posed for more selfies and chatted with the excited hockey fans. Women openly flirted with them, suggestively licking their lips and offering body parts to be autographed.
As Scarlett and Nadia shook their heads at each other, Reid’s mother came up behind them and draped her arms around their shoulders. “You’ll get used to it. Just give it time.”
When Scarlett and Nadia exchanged dubious glances, she gave an indulgent little laugh and patted their shoulders. “Just remember, ladies. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
Nadia smiled softly. “I know.”
Aunt Eden joined them, shaking her head in amused exasperation. “The men have found their way to the blackjack table. I need reinforcements to pry them away.”
Arlene tsk-tsked. “I told them we had lunch reservations and couldn’t stay much longer.” She consulted her watch, tsked again and linked arms with Aunt Eden. “Let’s go round ’em up so we can head over to the restaurant.”
As they moved off together, Nadia surveyed the crowd gathered around Reid and Viggo, then sighed and trailed after her mother and future mother-in-law.
Lennox came around the table and dropped into the empty chair beside Scarlett. “What’s up?”
“Hey, you.” She smiled at him. “Having fun?”
“I am. It’s been a fun trip.”
“You sound surprised,” Scarlett teased. “You didn’t expect to enjoy yourself?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “I thought it was kinda messed up the way the mothers bogarted Reid and Nadia’s romantic getaway and turned it into a family vacation. I was afraid there might be some tension, but Reid and Nadia have been really cool about having everyone here. I’m not sure I’d be as gracious and accommodating.”
“I know I wouldn’t.” Scarlett grinned. “But I’m glad you’re having fun.”
“Me, too.” He chuckled, stroking his goatee. “I won’t lie, though. Seeing you guys all booed up makes me wish I had someone special with me.”
“I know,” Scarlett commiserated. “Maybe next time.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” His smile held a tinge of sadness.
Scarlett sipped her martini, wishing she could say all the things she really wanted to say. The words hung between them, unspoken truths she yearned to set free from their cage.
After another moment, Lennox hitched his chin at the leggy brunette talking animatedly to Viggo. “I hope you’re not letting any of this get to you.”
She sniffed dismissively. “I’m not.”
Lennox grinned knowingly. “Just wait until he comes to one of your shows and sees all those guys screaming your name, throwing their shirts at you and begging you to marry them. Then he’ll know how it feels.”
Scarlett smirked, perversely comforted by the thought.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
“What?”
Lennox scratched his ear, looking sheepish. “Cooper wants me to ask Viggo and Reid to consider investing in our gym. Are you okay with that?”
Before Scarlett could respond, her phone rang. She held up one finger to Lennox, fished her phone out of her handbag and looked at the screen. It was Cara.
She pressed the answer button. “Hey, Cara.”
“Hey, babydoll.” Her manager sounded giddy. “I have some wonderful news. Are you sitting down?”
“Uh, yeah—”
“You guys are gonna be on Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Cara shrieked excitedly.
Scarlett gasped in shock. “Are you serious?”
“Yes! One of Jimmy’s producers was at your last concert before the snowstorm. He thought you guys were really good, so he called me up to book you for the show.”
Scarlett squealed excitedly, drawing curious looks and smiles. “That’s so awesome!”
“Totally!” Cara enthused. “This is the kind of exposure that can take you guys to the next level. And just think. If you hadn’t been opening for Black Kross, that producer wouldn’t have seen you perform. Sometimes in this business, being in the right place at the right time can pay off major dividends.”
“So true.” Scarlett grinned at Lennox and gave him a thumbs-up before asking Cara, “When are we appearing on the show?”
“You’re booked for late March. I’ll give you more details when I see you tomorrow.”
Wait, what? “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I just got off the phone with Black Kross’s booking agent. He was able to reschedule the remaining four tour dates. So you guys need to head back to Buffalo for your show tomorrow night.”
Disappointment sliced through Scarlett, quick and sharp as a bad paper cut. She’d been looking forward to attending tomorrow night’s hockey game with everyone. But now she had to hit the road again.
She sighed into the phone. “You giveth and you taketh away.”
“I’m sorry,” Cara ruefully apologized. “I know you’re enjoying the holidays with your family. That’s why I gave you the good news first.” She paused. “Tell you what. You have a whole day off between Tuesday’s show in Newark and Thursday’s show in Boston. Since you’re going to miss spending New Year’s with your family, you can pop back home on Wednesday before heading to Boston. It’s a lot of traveling, but what better way to take advantage of those frequent flyer miles?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Scarlett sighed again. “I’ll let the guys know.”
“Actually, I can tell them,” Cara said, trying to sound casual. “I was going to call Traeger to tell him about the Jimmy Kimmel Live appearance.”
Scarlett was surprised. “You’re gonna call Traeger?”
Cara gave a haughty sniff. “Since he seems the most dissatisfied with the job I’m doing, I thought it’d be nice to be the one to give him good news for a change.”
A slow, knowing grin crawled across Scarlett’s face. “You’re right. It should come from you.”
By the time she got off the phone, the hockey fans had departed and her family and friends were gathered around the table. All of them were eyeing her expectantly.
“Good news?” her father asked.
“Very good.” Scarlett beamed at everyone. “My band’s gonna be on Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
A chorus of excited exclamations erupted from the group. Everyone took turns hugging and congratulating her. Her mother, Lennox and Nadia squeezed her hard enough to crack her ribs. Her father called her his little rock star. Viggo gave her a long kiss that fried her brain and sent a wave of laughter around the bar.
Aria was giddy. “We’re such a famous family!”
Everyone laughed.
Arlene was already planning ahead. “We’ll have to get tickets to the show.”
“Absolutely!” Sherise kissed Scarlett’s cheek and then clapped her hands together. “This calls for a celebration!”
“Yes. At the restaurant.” Arlene started herding everyone toward the front lobby exit.
Viggo wrapped his arm around Scarlett’s shoulders, tucking her securely against his side as they followed the others. “I’m so proud of you and your bandmates. You guys are gonna kick ass on Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
“I hope so.” Scarlett smiled warmly. “Everyone was so excited. You would think we’d just won a Grammy.”
“That’ll be next,” Viggo said confidently.
She grinned at him. “Think so?”
“Definitely.”
She leaned up on tiptoe, kissed the corner of his smiling mouth and winked. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
After an adventurous day of sightseeing, shopping and dining at a revolving restaurant that overlooked the Falls, they headed back to the cabin resort.
They had just enough time to shower and change before Arlene summoned everyone to the lodge for a lavishly catered dinner. It was a festive gathering, laughter and conversation flowing as abundantly as the fine wine.
After dinner was over and the dishes had been cleared away, the grandparents relaxed around the fire while Arlene recruited volunteers to help her get everything set up for Family Feud. Her daughters volunteered. So did Scarlett’s mother, Aunt Eden, Bianca and Ana.
Reid and Nadia snuck off to make out while Luke, Ryder and Nelson huddled around the mounted television to watch basketball. Viggo and Scarlett joined them.
She was feeling pleasantly buzzed and relaxed. But her mellow mood evaporated the moment her father casually strolled over, slung an arm around Viggo’s shoulders and steered him away.
She watched them go, then shot Luke a panicked look. He merely shrugged and grinned before returning his attention to the game. She scowled at him. There was a reason he wasn’t her favorite brother.
Trying not to freak out, she looked around for Lennox. When she saw no sign of him, she figured he must have stepped outside for some fresh air. She pulled on her coat and headed out to the porch.
Sure enough, Lennox stood at the porch rail talking on his phone. His voice was low, the intimate caress of a lover.
“I miss you, too,” he was saying. “I wish you were here so I could hold you and—”
Scarlett pulled up short.
Before she could turn around and duck back inside, Lennox turned and saw her standing there. He looked guilty, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
She felt rooted to the spot, as if some arctic monster had descended from the mountains and frozen her into a statue.
Lennox quickly rushed off the phone and stared at her. There was an unspoken plea in his eyes that gutted her.
A painfully awkward silence fell between them.
Lennox gestured vaguely. “I’m, uh, gonna get something to drink.”
Scarlett nodded and stepped away from the door.
As he brushed past her, she asked casually, “So how’s Cooper doing?”
Lennox’s shoulders stiffened beneath his coat. He didn’t turn around. “He’s fine.”
“Good.” Scarlett managed a smile. “Is that who you were just talking to?”
Her brother didn’t answer right away.
She waited, her heart thrumming in her ears. The moment felt weighted with importance.
After a small eternity, Lennox turned around to look at her. The truth was written all over his face. A truth he’d been trying to outrun most of his life.
Scarlett swallowed hard. “You don’t have to hide from me, Lennox. You don’t have to hide who you are.”
A look came over his face. The conflicted look of a man who felt both cornered and relieved, trapped and liberated.
She took a step toward him, moving as cautiously as if he were a skittish mare. “Talk to me.”
He lowered his eyes to the ground between them. When he spoke, his normally deep voice was barely audible. “This isn’t a good time, Scarlett.”
“Then when?” she gently pressed. “When will be a good time to talk about the secret that’s been eating you alive for years?”
His dark eyes flew back up to her face. He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but no words came out.
“I know you’re gay, Lennox. I’ve always known.” She held her breath, hoping he would finally open up and let her in.
He didn’t say a word.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she said fervently. “You shouldn’t be hiding in the closet. You should be out and proud.”
A grimace of pain twisted his features. “It’s not that simple.”
“I know, but—”
“No,” Lennox snarled, “you don’t know. No one will ever call you a disgusting abomination for being sexually attracted to men. No one will ever tell you that you’re going to hell for loving who you love. Getting teased for liking white boys is not the same fucking thing!”
Scarlett frowned at him. “I never said—”
“I know,” he snapped gruffly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like for you. I could never know.” Her voice softened. “But I want you to understand that I’m here for you. I always have been, and I always will be.”
“I know that, Scarlett. I just…” He jammed his hand into his hair, closed his eyes and blew out a frustrated breath. “I can’t do this right now.”
Scarlett knew she should back off and give him space. But it killed her to see him in so much pain. “I love you, Lennox. We all love you. No one will turn their back on you if you tell them—”
“I’m not ready.”
Her heart constricted. “Lenny—”
“I said I’m not ready!”
They stood in silence as drifts of snow swirled around the porch in a wintry dance. Never had such a gaping chasm existed between them.
When Scarlett reached for his arm, he flinched away from her touch as if it was painful. His rejection hurt her to the core.
Jaw clamped tight, he stalked over to the porch rail and stared out over the snowy landscape. “Do you know why I invited Cooper to Thanksgiving dinner?”
Scarlett stared at him and slowly shook her head.
“It was an experiment. A test run. I wanted to see how Dad would react to Cooper, how he would respond to seeing us together just as friends. Look how he freaked out at the mere suggestion of Cooper wanting a relationship with me.” His lips twisted bitterly. “It was a fucking test, Scarlett. And Dad failed miserably.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Don’t be,” he said with grim irony. “This is Dad we’re talking about. I was crazy to expect anything different.”
“So what does that mean?” Scarlett challenged. “Are you going to give him control over your life? Are you going to let him force you to keep living a lie? You deserve to be happy, Lennox. You deserve to live your truth.”
He gave a harsh snort. “Easy for you to say.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re Daddy’s Little Girl, Scarlett. His gifted little rock star. You can do no wrong in his eyes. Same goes for Luke. He’s the firstborn son, which already makes him special. Then he went and followed in Dad’s footsteps by becoming an aerospace engineer. He and Dad bond over their work. They have lunch every week, attend company functions and play golf together. Dad loves bragging to everyone that Luke is a chip off the old block.” Lennox looked at Scarlett with raw entreaty. “Who am I, huh? What makes me special to Dad?”
She frowned. “You’re his son—”
“That’s right! I’m his son!” He thumped his broad chest. “I’m supposed to be an extension of him. I’m supposed to embody all that he embodies. Black manhood! Black masculinity! Don’t you get it? Dad looks at every muscle carved into my body and thinks proudly, ‘That’s my boy. That’s my son. What a fine specimen he is. Fruit of my loins.’”
Scarlett shook her head sadly. “You’re so much more than that, Lennox.”
“Am I?” he challenged. “Remember when I was playing football in college? Remember how proud of me he was, showing me off to his friends and bragging about what a big NFL star I was gonna be? He won’t look at me that way if he finds out I’m gay. He’ll look at me with anger, disappointment, disgust.” Lennox stared at Scarlett, his eyes shining with tears. “He’ll look at me with shame.”
Scarlett was fighting back her own tears. When she moved forward to hug her brother, he backed away from her and held up a hand to ward her off. His throat worked and his eyes grew shuttered, the protective shield falling back into place.
“We’d better go back inside. It’s time for Family Feud.” He walked to the door and paused, staring through the window like some outsider who wanted desperately to belong. He looked so fragile and vulnerable. So alone.
Scarlett watched him, her heart breaking into a million pieces. “How much longer can you keep up the charade, Lennox?” she whispered. “How much longer can you live like this?”
“I’m not ready,” he said in a low voice. “If you can’t respect that, then you’re not the sister I thought you were.”
Her throat tightened. “That’s not fair.”
Lennox’s chest expanded on a heavy breath. “Since when has life ever been fair?”
On that mournful note he went back inside, leaving her out in the cold.
“What’s going on with you?” Viggo murmured later that night as he and Scarlett snuggled under a blanket in front of a crackling fire.
After leaving the lodge, they’d returned to the cabin with the other three couples and hung out in the hot tub for a while. When they returned to their room, Viggo had changed into dark pajama bottoms and helped Scarlett into the matching top. Sensing her melancholy mood, he’d grabbed a warm blanket, taken her hand and led her over to the fireplace. They lay down on a big bearskin rug with him spooning her, holding her close with her back pressed against his chest and his arm wrapped around her waist.
She was staring into the flickering flames, replaying her painful conversation with Lennox. The sound of Viggo’s deep voice pulled her out of her brooding.
“Sorry.” She glanced over her shoulder and flashed him a rueful smile. “Did you say something?”
He pushed himself up on one elbow so that he could look down into her face. His brows were furrowed with concern. “You’ve been quiet and distracted all night. What’s on your mind?”
She forced another smile. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit,” he growled. “I know something’s up. You haven’t been yourself since dinner. Hell, you haven’t even asked me what your father and I talked about.”
She gave him a pointed look. “I figured if you wanted me to know, you would have told me.”
He didn’t deny it. Firelight flickered over the hard planes of his face, caressing the wicked curve of his mouth.
He leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder. The soft brush of his lips made her shiver. “I miss you,” he murmured. “Wherever you’ve been, come back to me.”
She swallowed hard, fighting the tangle of sadness and guilt that twisted inside her. Sadness for her brother. Guilt for being able to love the man she loved without fear of condemnation.
She studied the reflection of the firelight dancing in Viggo’s eyes. “You and your siblings are pretty close, aren’t you?”
“We are.” His gaze softened on her face. “Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering.” She smiled a little. “Who are you closest to?”
“I’m pretty close to all of them. But Rikard and I are probably the tightest.”
“He’s the Olympic skier, right?”
“Right. We’re only a year apart, like Reid and Ryder—”
“And me and Nadia.”
“Yes. Like you and Nadia.” Viggo stroked her hair back from her face as they smiled at each other, basking in the lazy warmth of the fire and the closeness of their bodies under the blanket.
“Rikard’s the one you were talking to before we went to dinner on Christmas,” Scarlett recalled. “It must have been close to midnight back in Stockholm.”
“I know,” Viggo said with a chuckle. “He’s a night owl, so we always talk pretty late.”
Scarlett smiled as she took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. “Do you guys tell each other everything? All your secrets?”
He nodded, eyes twinkling. “Pretty much.”
She felt a pang of envy. On its heels was curiosity. She wondered what, if anything, he’d told his brother about her. It mattered more than she wanted to admit.
He rolled her onto her back and levered over her, tattooed biceps bulging as he planted his hands on either side of her head. The firelight reflected in his hair and danced over the golden expanse of his chest.
As he stared down at her, she reached up and gently touched his face. “I wish I didn’t have to fly out tomorrow,” she lamented. “I really wanted to attend your game with everyone.”
“I wish you could be there, too,” he murmured. “But at least you get to come home for a day before you have to leave again for Boston. You’ll be at our next home game.”
She sighed. “True.”
He searched her eyes. “Is that what’s been bothering you? Having to leave tomorrow?”
She hesitated, then nodded. She hated lying to him. But she couldn’t betray her brother by sharing his secret with anyone, not even her lover.
Viggo’s eyes continued probing her face. He knew she was holding something back. That was the problem with him. He saw way too much.
She stroked her hands up and down his back, savoring the feel of his warm skin gliding beneath her touch. “I hate the thought of going back to Buffalo without you.”
He smiled into her eyes. “We’ll go back together someday. I promise.”
Smiling up at him, she slid her fingers along his nape and into his hair. “It’s our last night together in Canada.”
“I know,” he whispered, lowering his mouth to hers, “so let’s make it count.”