CJ

Just because I’ve carried my V card for a quarter of a century doesn’t mean I’ve kept a pure mind, too.

Quite the contrary.

My brain has run wild. My imagination has frolicked in Naughtyville thousands of times, and though the details—the catalyst and the location—varied, one aspect was nearly always the same.

Graham.

Him over me, him inside me, him being my first.

That’s what I’ve wanted most of all.

A rush of anticipation fills my body as he climbs over me, but then anxiety rises up, pulling at me, tightening in my belly. A thousand thoughts race through my mind, and my heart jams in my throat, but as I look up at his handsome face, I know it isn’t having sex for the first time that’s making me nervous.

What scares me is that I’m already failing at the lesson I tried to teach myself this afternoon.

My heart isn’t in another room.

I’m here, all in, heart, body, and mind.

It’s wildly exciting and completely terrifying. But how can I even consider turning back when this is everything I’ve dreamt of and so much more?

I reach my arms around his neck, pull him even closer, and press my lips to his, kissing away my fears. “I’m so ready,” I whisper.

“I like the so.” He positions himself, rubs the head of his erection against me, and I gasp. A pulse beats between my legs, where I’m wet, ridiculously wet.

Relax. I spread my legs wider, letting my knees fall open, inviting him in.

He pushes the tip inside. “Okay?” he pants.

A warm, tingly feeling spreads through me. “More than okay.”

I draw a sharp breath as he sinks deeper inside. Deeper, deeper, maybe halfway in, and holy hell.

He’s stretching me, and for a moment I feel as if I’m being ripped apart. I grit my teeth, my muscles tensing against the sting.

“Butterfly.” His voice is laced with worry

I try to will away the pain, but damn, it hurts. “I’m fine,” I mutter.

“You’re not fine. Talk to me.”

I remember I promised I would be honest. I loop my arms tighter around his neck, needing to hold him close as I confess, “It hurts, Graham. But I don’t want to stop. So please don’t.”

He sighs heavily, but doesn’t move. I look up at him, seeing concern, care, and so much more in his eyes. I see him here with me, in every way, and suddenly I can breathe. And that changes the game.

As I pull in another breath, I start to relax.

“Perfect,” he whispers. “Just breathe, baby. Take all the time you need.”

Another breath, and the stinging sensation fades a little more.

Slowly, the hurt subsides, giving way to another rush of warmth and desire, the need to get even closer to this man who is so sweetly patient with me.

I wrap my legs around him. “Now. I want you inside me. All the way.”

There’s something about saying those words that empowers me. That emboldens my body to accept everything he has to give. This is my choice, my man, my moment. I give myself over to all the possibilities, all the hunger, all the emotion filling my chest to overflowing.

I swallow hard and grab his ass, pulling him deeper.

He slides another inch, and like the soft, final notes of a song, the pain ends.

Another song begins, a primal melody that is beautiful, natural, and oh-so right.

I still feel stretched, full, but I also feel something wholly new. A spark spreads up my chest to my arms, down to my fingers. This sensation is warm, it’s floaty—it’s what I’ve always wanted.

A smile spreads across my face.

Graham laughs lightly. “Looks like everything is okay?”

“So much better than okay,” I say, and I can’t stop smiling. “It's like champagne. You don’t know what to make of it the first time you taste it, and then you just want more.”

“You want more, baby?”

“Oh yes . . .” I start to move with him, my hips rocking up, sensations building and rising inside me.

His hips swivel, and he goes deeper. But never too hard or too rough. Always with just the right amount of pressure, just the right amount of him in me.

God, a man is inside me—Graham is inside me—and it is every bit as incredible as I ever imagined.

My body grows hotter, my skin damper. My heart jackhammers as he moves and I move with him, and somehow, we find the most wonderful rhythm.

Together.

Gently but firmly, he guides my leg higher on his hip, opening me more as he thrusts into me. I’m trembling all over as a full, heavy feeling ripples through me. I’m being wickedly, deliciously turned inside out.

And then, he slides his hand down between us, touching me where I want him most, and that sends me soaring. He rubs and strokes, and soon I’m mindless with pleasure. I’m lost in all these new sensations as he fills me and zeroes in on where everything feels like bliss.

Soon, that’s all I feel. I’ve passed the brink. I’m reaching something inevitable. Something that was always meant to happen this way, just exactly this way.

There’s a flash of ecstatic oblivion as desire curls inward, tightens, and then I let go, I fall, and the waves of pleasure overcome me. I reach the edge as he fills me, as he makes love to me, as he takes me over the cliff.

A few seconds later, he’s there with me, too. Saying my name. Saying how good it feels. Telling me he’s coming.

I’m drowning in the sweetest heat as I watch him thrust one last time then come apart, shuddering, his jaw clenched as he moans low in his throat. And this is another wondrous first for me, watching a man climax inside me, and I like this part just as much as I like my own orgasms.

Probably because I’m falling in love with him.

That’s the part that’s truly going to hurt.

Because in a few more nights, this will end.