Leo pulled into Shay’s townhouse driveway, not entirely sure how he got there. He’d seen her home once before, at the end of a staff Christmas party. Tonight’s trip had been done on autopilot. The drive had been silent, nothing but the churning of his brain to keep him company.

Love. Holy fuck.

Talk about a punch to the testicles. He didn’t know whether to let excitement take hold, or if he should cut and run. Every woman he’d shown his true sexuality to had gutted him with their rapid rejection. And even though Shay had technically done the same, he couldn’t fight the desire to let the grin pulling at his lips take hold. There was a glimmer of hope in this fucked-up mess. A glimmer he might be willing to explore, even though the pain from the past made him cautious.

Cutting the engine, he turned off the lights and sat in the darkened silence as she unbuckled her belt.

“I’m exhausted.” Her fragile tone reaffirmed her words. “Can we talk about this another day? Or maybe never?”

Like hell. Love had never been within his grasp. He wouldn’t let it go easily. “Sorry, little girl. We’re doing this now.”

Her head snapped around, her light-brown irises darkening as the side of her jaw flexed.

There you go. An added boost of adrenaline to keep you awake. He loved the way her eyes flared when he taunted her. He loved her sass. Fuck. He really did adore this woman.

She yanked her handbag from the floor, climbed from the car and slammed the door in a huff. He chuckled to himself while she stormed to the front of her home and began searching for her keys. The keys Glenn had picked up from the parking-lot asphalt and were now firmly sitting in Leo’s trouser pocket.

After a few seconds of searching, she straightened and swung around to glare at him.

With a grin, he climbed from the car and jogged to her side.

“My keys?” She thrust out her palm. “Please.”

He retrieved them from his pocket and placed them in her hand, touching her for longer than necessary. Her skin was soft, warm and too damn inviting after the anger he’d received from her earlier. As much as he liked teasing her, he hated her ire. Her lips were meant for smiling, not snarling. And he never wanted to see those light-brown irises peering up at him with anything other than lust and affection.

“Thank you,” she muttered and then turned to open the door.

He followed her down a pitch-black hall and squinted when she flicked on a light to reveal an open kitchen, dining and living room area. She went to the fridge, retrieved a bottle of water and spun to him as she cracked open the lid.

“So…can we get this chat over with?” She raised a haughty brow. She was flustered, still the frightened lioness backed into a corner.

“No need to be aggressive. All I want to do is talk.”

“Aggressive? No. I’m in shock. I’m disappointed. I’m probably overreacting a little, but I’m not aggressive. I just want to go to bed.”

He quirked a brow, arrogantly suggesting he join her.

“Alone, Leo.”

He held in a chuckle, yet he couldn’t keep the side of his lips from tilting. Her vulnerability warmed his heart, made him yearn more to protect her. “Don’t worry about next week. I’ll find someone else to work the shift.”

“Are you kidding?” She pushed from the counter and straightened her shoulders. “Working down there isn’t the problem. I don’t give a flying hoot what nameless, faceless people do in their spare time. This is about you blindsiding me when I’d made it clear I had feelings for you.”

“I’m sorry.” Even though her reactions had sparked an avalanche of bickering, this mess between them was his fault. He should’ve put his foot down when T.J. suggested she work in the Vault.

“You should’ve told me I had no chance.”

“I tried.” He moved forward slowly, not wanting to spook her into running. “After the time in the storeroom, I backed away.”

She slumped against the counter and stared at the floor. “You know how women play hard to get because men like a challenge?”

He frowned. “Yeah.”

“It works for women, too.” She shrugged. “You only made me want you more.”

“I should’ve known.” He walked into the kitchen and rested his lower back against the counter opposite her. “I’m kinda irresistible. Sometimes I forget the effect I have on the opposite sex.”

She glanced at him under thick eyelashes and released a huff of laughter. “You’re a dick,” she muttered, shaking her head and lowering her gaze back to the floor.

Silence fell between them, giving him the time to relive the mistakes he’d made. He never should’ve reciprocated her flirting. He sure as hell shouldn’t have succumbed to temptation and followed her into the storeroom that day. In truth, he probably shouldn’t have hired her when he realized he desired her the first day they met. Now she was fractured—her skin pale, her eyes empty, her smile hiding under layers of betrayal.

She raised her hands and stared blankly at her palms.

“You’re shaking.” He bridged the space between them in two strides and clasped her hands in his, ignoring the way she stiffened.

“It’s been a long night.”

She straightened the closer he inched forward, trying to maintain space between them. After a long shift at the club, she smelled like sin. Like hot, sweaty, entirely delectable sin.

Fuck his proclivities. Why couldn’t he be happy to settle down in a normal relationship? It wasn’t like he couldn’t function without the thrill of exhibitionism. He’d lived without it before. He hadn’t been happy, but then again, he hadn’t had the right woman either.

Christ. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t erase parts of his soul at will. If only. Life would be so much simpler. But he was finally confident with the harsh realities of his lifestyle. He’d earned his take-it-or-leave-it mentality. He owed it to himself not to revert back to being ashamed.

“I should call a cab.” He let the words fall between them but didn’t move. He couldn’t. Her body was so warm against his, the lush curve of her breasts within his grasp, her soft lips tilted toward him.

“Yeah. You should.” She didn’t pull her hands away. Didn’t slide out from between his body and the counter.

Listening to his libido would be a mistake. He’d get her into bed, make love to her until the sun rose, and they’d awaken to compounded problems that neither one of them wanted to face. Only he couldn’t find the strength to step back.

“Want me to stay the night?”

Her throat worked over a heavy swallow. “You shouldn’t.”

She stood against him, her beautiful brown eyes darkening with lust, the swell of her breasts rising and falling with such innocent seduction that his balls tightened. He was stunned by her nearness. By the fact she knew his dirty little secret and still allowed him to be this close.

He released her hands, cupped her cheek and leaned his face close to hers. “I no longer give a shit about what we should and shouldn’t do. I asked you what you wanted, Shay. Nothing else matters.”

She ran a nervous swipe of her tongue over her bottom lip. “I…” She frowned and shook her head. “You know how I feel about you. But I’m not looking to sleep around. I’m after a relationship.”

“Who says I’m not, too?” he asked, their mouths a mere inch apart.

“A monogamous relationship.” She chuckled, but the humor didn’t penetrate.

The heat of her breath brushed his lips, sending his rapidly beating heart into overdrive. At this moment, he’d vow to never sleep with another woman again if it meant getting between Shay’s thighs. And he’d mean it, too.

“I can do monogamy.” He’d always been faithful in relationships. Owning and participating in a sex club didn’t mean he was an asshole. His desire to be watched and watch others had nothing to do with plowing the female playing field.

She quirked a brow, her mouth tilting at one side. “I find it hard to believe you’d be faithful with all that muff on display. I noticed the tent in your pants while you were guiding that couple tonight.”

“That camping expedition was for you,” he murmured against her lips.

She narrowed her gaze. “You didn’t even know I was there.”

“No. But I knew you weren’t far away.” He tilted his head, running the tip of his nose along the delicate skin of her cheek. “I wasn’t watching Pamela and Jack. I was picturing you and me.” He brushed his tongue along the side of her jaw and felt his cock pulse with her barely audible moan. “It was your petite little hands on my body.” He nipped the skin below her ear and leaned his pelvis into her, giving his dick the friction it demanded. “It was your sassy mouth all over my cock.”

She whimpered and clasped his shoulders. “We shouldn’t do this.”

“Why?” He had a myriad of reasons, yet none of them penetrated the intoxicating scent he continued to breathe into his lungs. His mouth found the sensitive spot at the base of her neck. He licked. He kissed. He sucked, until she was grinding against his thigh. “You want this. I want this.”

She pulled back, blinking away the sexual haze in her eyes. “I want us.”

She didn’t need to add and nobody else. The words were already implied. He hung his head, fucking clueless at what to do. He wanted Shay, physically and emotionally, yet ditching one side of his life to obtain her wouldn’t work. He’d tried changing himself for others. He’d gone down the vanilla path. Sex in bed with the blinds closed was fine to scratch an itch, but in the long run, he couldn’t deny he would eventually want more.

He loved beautiful women, and he loved people watching him fuck beautiful women. It was art, a skill requiring technique and patience. The thrill at having others aroused by the way he touched a woman, making her come apart with his hands, his lips, his cock. Nothing could compare.

Shay was right. They shouldn’t be doing this. Because once he laid her beautiful body down, he’d fuck her senseless. Today. Tomorrow. And every other day until the need to drag her to Vault of Sin and make love to her in front of an audience became too much.

“I’ll call a cab.”

She sucked in a ragged breath, stabbing him through the chest with her anguish. “Okay.” Her hands fell from his neck and she slid out from between him and the counter. “Do you mind letting yourself out? I need to have a shower before I collapse.”

He nodded, trying to let go of the sinking sensation telling him he was doing the wrong fucking thing. “No problem. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

He walked away from her, each footstep harder than dragging his feet through cement. When he reached the door, he paused, his hand on the knob, his back rigid. He wanted to turn around, to give himself one last glance to make sure he was doing the right thing. But leaving was the only option.

One of them had to be willing to change, and from past experience, he knew it couldn’t be him. And he sure as hell didn’t want to be the one making someone else change their sexual proclivities when he’d fought so hard to be true to his own.

With an exasperated breath, he turned the handle and stepped into the darkness, whispering a silent farewell to the only chance at happiness he’d had in a long time.