Gage

Outside the three of us make our way to a clearing made for local skiers to go down the mountain. It’s not a commercial ski slope with a lift but more of an ungroomed natural parting of the trees for anyone who wants to get down the mountain on skis.

“This is it?” Clover asks raising her eyebrows.

“Yep, it’s not fancy, but it does the trick.”

“How do we get back up?”

“Sometimes we ski for a while and then hike the rest of the way, or we ditch the skis at Jerry’s and take an ATV.”

“I hope you’re taking an ATV today. It looks like the storm is close.” She looks up into the gray sky shielding her eyes.

“Yep, Jerry’s fueling them up as we speak.”

“Them?”

“I had him get two in case you change your mind about going to Freda’s when we get down there.”

“You’re leaving?” Adley says, surprise in her voice.

“Only for the weekend. My best friend, Freda, misses me, and she wants me to visit for a couple of days. I’ll be back Monday morning bright and early, I promise.”

Her face clouds like the sky overhead, and I feel guilty for being glad she’s so disappointed. Maybe Adley can convince her to stay.

“Oh. I’m going to miss you, too. Can’t Freda come and stay with us instead?”

I was afraid she might ask that. “I think the girls want to go and do grown-up things with their friends for a while. Clover will be back as soon as she can. We can do whatever you want this weekend while she’s gone. I’m all yours.”

She wrinkles her nose, and I chuckle. It doesn’t even hurt my feelings that she would prefer Clover to me. Who could blame her?

The first fat snowflakes begin to fall as indecision settles on Clover’s face. She’s rethinking her plans, and I am considering a pony as a gift for Adley’s next birthday.

“How about I wait and go tomorrow night and come home Sunday evening instead of going for the whole weekend?”

“Yes!” Adley cries, and mentally I give a big fat fist pump. We just gained a night with her, and if the snow is bad enough, she won’t be able to get out tomorrow night either. I know I’m being greedy with her time, but I don’t care. It’s as if I’ve been waiting for six years for her to arrive, and now that she has, I don’t want to share her with anyone except Adley.

“Now that that is settled, let’s ski.” I lower my goggles over my eyes and dig my poles into the snow. They both do the same, and we’re off swooshing down the trail with the snow in our faces and the wind in our hair.

I don’t let go and barrel down the mountain like I do when I’m alone. Adley is an excellent skier, but she is still only six years old, her weight alone can’t propel her down the hills, she has to work for it and has to go slow.

I look over and see Clover smiling as she keeps pace with us loving the outdoors as much as I do. I can’t imagine going back to the concrete jungle to record albums, but I have to admit Clover’s idea of secretly recording on YouTube is intriguing.

I’m surprised she put that much thought into my music. It’s like having my own cheerleader rooting for me. The first two years without music was easy. I had another human being who depended on me for every single thing in her life. But the older she got, the more independent she became, and the more I missed making music.

When we arrive at Jerry’s, he is outside talking to a guy in an old truck. He waves, and I wave back. The snow is coming down hard now, and I’m wondering if we should have stayed home. Taking ATVs home now is going to be messy if we don’t leave right away, and I had planned on taking Adley to a little jewelry store to let her pick out something for Clover as a thank you gift for being her nanny.

“I think we should get back. It feels like this storm is going to be a big one,” Clover says as if she read my mind.

“I was thinking the same thing. Do you want to call Freda and tell her you’ll be back tomorrow?”

She looks around Jerry’s small parking lot. “I might ask for a raincheck. I don’t know why, but something feels off about this storm. I think I should stay with you and go next weekend.”

“You won’t get any arguments from me. Let’s run inside and grab a few things and head back.”

“Daddy, I wanted to… you know…” Adley says referring to the jewelry store visit.

“We can do it another day this week, baby. We don’t want to get stuck in the snow trying to get home.”

Clover looks curious but doesn’t say anything. Inside, Clover waits by the door calling her friend Freda while I grab a few staples that we are running low on along with extra batteries and a new flashlight in case of a power outage.

“Sounds like your new girlfriend is upset,” Jerry says when I place my purchases on the counter.

“What?” I turn and see Clover talking on the phone with deep frown lines between her eyes and her free arm wrapped around her waist tight. “I’m not sure if she’s my girlfriend, and why do you say she’s upset?”

“You had her staying up there on the mountain for weeks, and she ain’t your girlfriend yet? I’m disappointed in you, man, really disappointed.”

“She’s Adley’s nanny, and yes, I like her a lot. Why’s she mad?” I toss a hundred- dollar bill on the counter and wait for him to explain.

“She’s caught herself raising her voice a couple of times and turned her back to me.” He holds up the hundred. “Ain’t you got anything smaller than these hundies you’re always bringin’ me? You dealing drugs up there or something?”

He teases me every time I pay. I only deal in cash to keep the paper trail from banks to me as non-existent as possible. All the money I made in my career was carefully invested, and I can live off of it forever if I live minimally as I have for the past six years. I’ve kept hidden by using my given last name Gage and my grandmother’s maiden name Riley. Gage Riley is a far cry from Apollo Mercury.

When Adley was born, I gave her my stage name because that’s the name Constance and I used, Mercury. I’ve thought more than once about legally changing it to Riley, but I didn’t want to bring attention to us, so I left it alone.

“No drugs, pot is legal here anyway. I like cash, I don’t trust banks, you know that. Quit bustin’ my balls.”

“Just fucking with ya, man.”

Adley walks up at that exact moment and points her finger at Jerry. “No swearing, you put a dollar in the swear jar?”

“Not yet, princess, but I will when I break your daddy’s big ol’ hundred-dollar bill here.” He snaps the bill and places it in the cash register counting out my change and placing a dollar in the giant pickle jar on the counter. It’s so full, he has trouble stuffing it into the slot on top.

“Doesn’t look like that jar is keeping you from cursing.”

“It ain’t, but it’s a good savings account. I don’t like banks either.” He winks and juts his chin in Clover’s direction. “She’s done, better see what’s wrong.”

“See ya next time,” I say slinging my backpack over one shoulder. “I’ll get the ATVs back to you when the storm passes.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, just get yourself home.”

As I approach the door where Clover is standing, I see a tear slip down her cheek. She brushes it away and plasters on a fake smile.

“Hey, get everything?” she asks.

“Everything okay?”

“You cryin’?” Adley asks with no shame. Kids, they tell it how it is.

“Nope, I’m fine. Let’s get home.”

My heart warms when she calls my house home, but there is definitely something wrong. “I’m going to have to side with Adley on this one, something’s wrong. Wanna talk about it?”

She glances out the window in the door like she’s checking to see if anyone is there. “We can talk about it when we get home. I don’t want to get stuck down here. We should go.”

I turn my head to the side and narrow my eyes. “We will talk about it at home for sure,” I say, and she nods. “You know how to drive an ATV?”

“Yeah, my Aunt Heather had one at home. We used them on the beach.”

“Well, it’s a little different in the snow, but as long as you know the basics, you’ll be fine.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

It takes us twice as much time going up as it usually does and three times as long as it did going down on skis. I head straight to the fireplace and start a roaring fire as soon as we are inside. The storm is much worse than they forecasted, and we are soaking wet and freezing.

“You know the drill, strip and wrap up in blankets, both of you quick, quick.”

“What about you, Daddy? You gotta get warm, too.”

“I have to run down and get more wood and check on the generator. That snow is heavy, and we might have a power outage.”

“Do you need help?” Clover asks.

“No, you two warm up, and I’ll be back in a few minutes. When I get back, we need to talk.” I don’t know what that phone call was about at Jerry’s, but I plan on finding out.

They do as I asked, and when they are bundled up by the fire, I head out to the wood house. It’s coming down hard, but it’s not windy, and everything is quiet and still like always until I hear the snap of a twig in a heavily wooded area east of the house.

It’s not unusual for animals to scurry around in the brush, but this sound is different, louder, like the weight that snapped the twig was substantial. “Who’s there?” I call out, but no one answers. The hair on the back of my neck stands up and more than ever I am sure someone is watching me.

I click on the flashlight I bought today and shine it in the direction of the noise. I don’t usually carry a flashlight in my coat pocket, but something made me put it in there as soon as we got home. At first, I don’t see anything, but then there’s movement behind a tree. “You’re trespassing on private property. I have every right to shoot you if you don’t come out and show yourself,” I yell.

“Gage? Who are you talking to?” Clover asks from the top of the stairs.

“Go inside, there’s somebody in the woods.”

“Are you sure it’s not an animal?” she asks just as a flash bursts from the trees. Fuck.

“Not unless a raccoon learned how to use a camera. Call the police, tell them I have an intruder, and tell them I’m going to shoot them,” I say climbing the stairs to get my gun from inside.

“No, no! Please don’t shoot, Apollo!” a panicked voice yells from the brush.

“I don’t know who you think I am, but my name is Gage, and I’m about to put a bullet through your chest if you don’t get the fuck off my land!”

“I’ll go, don’t shoot! I got a tip that you were Apollo Mercury. Sorry, sir, please don’t shoot me! I just wanted a picture.”

I knew it would happen someday. A photographer showing up on my land to invade my privacy and destroy the paradise I’ve tried so hard to keep secret. I thought I was prepared for the disappointment. I thought I would be furious. I thought I would be devastated.

I was wrong.

I feel relieved, but even more so I am surprised at being relieved.

I’ve been outed, and this is only the beginning.

“Your tip was wrong, get off my mountain before I kill you!” I yell and slam the door shut violently. The wall of windows facing the mountain vibrates, and my vision blurs. I have an instant migraine on the right side of my head. I haven’t had one since Constance died. I thought the mountain air cured me of them, but now I’m thinking they were caused by stress.

“Are you all right? Did he get a picture? Oh my God, this is all my fault,” Clover says from behind me where she is cowering in her blanket with tears flowing down her face.

“Does this have something to do with the phone call you made at Jerry’s?” I ask harsher than I had intended.

“Yes, Freda said people from my class were talking. They’re saying that you’re the long-lost Apollo Mercury and that you kidnapped me and are holding me captive in your secret mountain house.”

“For fuck sake. It was that bastard who looked at my tattoo the day everyone left, I bet.”

She scrunches up her nose in a guilty apologetic expression. “I think it was this guy, Carl, who had a crush on me all through college. I thought he was over it, though. I thought we were friends, but Freda thinks he’s jealous.”

“The one who ate pancakes with you that last morning?”

She shakes her head. “Yeah, he never took his eyes off of you.”

A half sob, half hiccup escapes her, and she looks down at her bare feet. “I’m so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen. I wanted to help you, not ruin your private life with Adley.” She covers her face with one hand while clutching her blanket around her with the other.

“It’s not your fault,” Adley says rushing to her side to hug her around the waist. “Maybe it was one of Daddy’s friends? Jack sometimes comes in the summer to go fishing, maybe it was him?” she says patting Clover’s side.

“I don’t think Jack wants a picture of me, baby. It was a photographer, but it wasn’t Clover’s fault. You’re right about that.”

“No, if I hadn’t asked you to take us all in, nobody would have ever known you were here. I’ve ruined everything.”

I take her in my arms including Adley in an embrace and kiss the top of Clover’s head. “Listen to me. I’m going to say something I never thought I’d say.” I push her back and look into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. “First of all, there is no way this is your fault. If you hadn’t found me that day, all fifteen of you would have died. Second, I am relieved. I’ve been hiding up here for six years, and maybe it’s time to stop.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better. I know you don’t want to be found.”

“You said yourself that Adley needs to be around people. I’ve known this day would eventually come. You just happened to be around when it did. I will not allow you to try to take responsibility for this. Whatever happens, happens.”

“Can we go shopping in Denver then?” Adley says hopping up and down.

“Whoa there, I think we need to take baby steps. Let’s wait to see what happens with that photograph first. Then we can decide what happens next, okay?”

Adley hesitates and then smiles after a moment. “That’s a maybe, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s a maybe.”

“Cool,” she says.

“Cool.”

Clover is shaking her head. “What?” I ask.

“Nothing. Everything is… cool.”