I’m not dead. Imagine that.

The pain comes first. A deep, searing ache pounds through my head. My eyes snap open to blinding light. So bright it burns my fucking eyeballs. Velcro wrapped around my wrists and legs straps me down to a steel table. I must have passed out.

Where am I?

Walls look too clean to be the garage. Familiar faces surround me—looks like almost every member of Vito’s crew. Johnny’s thin face stands out among the crowd. His scowl is deep, but his eyes keep darting to me in a way that makes me think he’s not completely on board with killing cops.

A moan escapes my lips, swallowed by the gag filling my mouth. Pain throbs inside me. My kidneys must be bruised. A sharp pang stabs my back. I grab my side and pinch hard, digging my nail into flesh to distract from the real horror.

I turn my head. Test the restraints. My biceps bulge as I yank against them. A man with a thick, flowing beard leans over me. He grabs my shoulder. Digs in with his thumb and I scream against the pain.

Johnny eyes Henri with a malevolent gleam. “Take your hands off him.”

“Give me a break, Johnny. He’s a fucking rat.”

“Leave him the fuck alone.”

The pressure eases as Henri backs off, looking like he’d love to stab me in the throat. A phone rings and Vito’s soft-spoken voice murmurs behind me. I catch my name and the tail end of his sentence. “Sébastien’s not coming back.”

Who is he talking to?

Vito slides into view as he holds the cell aloft, my wife’s anxious cry echoing through the speakerphone. “What do you mean?”

“I’m so sorry, hon,” Vito says, eyes narrowed in disgust as he watches me. “This was the last—”

A horrible scream bursts from the speaker. It’s a primal wail torn from her throat. She chokes with despair. “No. Please, no.”

A gag keeps me from crying out to her and cursing the piece of shit father who would parade his daughter’s pain in front of me.

“He’s gone,” Vito says. “All right? You need to forget him.”

“Wait—I don’t understand. Louis said he was at a meeting with you. What happened?”

The old man who begged me to marry his daughter to spare her agony of loneliness glares at me with the deepest contempt. It doesn’t matter that I make her happy. He’ll kill me because I lied to him.

“He’s dead,” Vito says.

Some of the guys wince at his words, and even Johnny looks disapproving.

I stare at him, yanking my wrists from the bonds. Ungag me, you bastard.

Eva’s heartbroken cry makes my chest cave in. “I don’t understand why…” Her sobs fill the small room, and Vito stares at me like a dead-eyed cretin.

“It’s not a safe job,” he says in a soft voice. “He knew that.”

I scream against the muzzle, trying to form words she’ll recognize, but Henri elbows me in the gut. The air leaves my lungs.

“We’re having a baby together! What happened—what—”

“I can’t explain over the phone. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“He promised—he said he’d come back,” she continues in the same broken tone. “I can’t take this. I-I need to see him.”

He shakes his head. “No. That’s not a good idea. Trust me.”

You fucking bastard.

She breaks into fresh sobs, and Vito murmurs a goodbye, ending the call. A strained silence hits the air before Johnny leans over, grabbing the tape on my lips.

“What are you doing?” Vito says.

The lean, young boss grimaces. “I’m getting fucking tired of being questioned by you, Vito. You gave up your territory. That means I call the shots from now on.”

“When I pass, and not until then!”

Johnny crosses his arms, anger shooting from his body like an electrical current. “I’m assuming control. Take that shit off his mouth.”

There’s a second’s hesitation before Henri obeys, ripping the tape from my lips in one vicious yank. Air fills my lungs when he grabs the rag balled inside and tosses it.

I gasp for breath, licking my parched lips. Then I search the room for Vito, a flame scorching my insides. “I’ve always hated you, but I’ll make you pay for what you just did.”

“Look at this guy,” Johnny says, all levity and smiles. “Making threats while strapped to a table. Did you have a nice nap? It’s time to answer questions.”

“Fuck that,” Vito says. “Let’s do him now.”

I find Vito. “Kill me, then. Go on. I know you don’t give a shit about Eva anyway.”

A violent rage possesses Vito’s limbs. His chest strains against the arms holding him back, his purpled face contorted in fury. “You came into my house. Put a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly. It was all a fucking lie, and I won’t break her heart by telling her the truth. You’ll just disappear.”

“I love her,” I force out. “I’m her best shot at a normal life. She never wanted this for herself.”

“Fuck you.”

Johnny stills him with a hand. I take a deep breath and continue. “I could have left when things got hot. I didn’t. Instead, I killed that bastard who opened fire at the house.”

Johnny locks eyes with Henri, who silently confirms what I said. “Why?” he says, grabbing the table suddenly. “They’ll never take you back now.”

I stare at him. “You think I still want to be a cop?”

“I know I don’t trust a word out of your fucking mouth.”

“They made me who I am,” I say in a louder voice. “I hope the Legion MC rips them apart. All I want is to be done. I want out—and I’ll take my wife away from this place.”

“No,” Vito roars. “She stays with me.”

Fuck that. “Eva doesn’t want to be with you anymore.”

“We have bigger problems than your family drama,” Johnny says with a hiss. “You expect us to believe you hate these cops?”

“They shot at my pregnant wife, what do you think?”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t trust you.”

“I wanted out months ago. They threatened to erase my identity. No one in the department knows who I am. Going to the station about all this isn’t an option. That’s why I came clean to you. Kill me, and you’ll lose your best shot at stopping them.”

“How the fuck will you bust them?” Johnny says. “With these?” The photographs suddenly flash through his fingers. “If what you say is true, they will not believe a word out of your mouth. It’s not enough.”

I don’t know. “Maybe I could do more investigative shit. Send the evidence to a news station.”

He slaps my forehead. “Stop thinking like a fucking cop. You’re not one anymore.”

“Anonymous tip.”

“No. Won’t work.” Johnny sneers at my frustration. “This whole plan you had about telling us fell apart, didn’t it?” Amused, Johnny crosses his arms and leans closer. His black eyes swallow all the light. “Clearly, you’re off the rails. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have killed that biker. Tell me, how does it feel to be the dirty cop?”

It doesn’t feel like anything. “I don’t give a damn. My wife and baby are the only things I care about.”

He straightens, lips thinning into a satisfied smirk. “What’s stopping you from going to the police about everything that happened tonight? I can’t know you won’t rat me out the second you’re free.”

I sigh heavily. “I’m sure you have people who can murder me in prison just as well as outside. Like I said, I want out.”

His eyes bore into mine. “Fine. Then you’ll have to kill the cops.”

“What?”

You’ve already murdered two men. What’s a couple more?

They’re officers of the law. Crooked men in blue, but still. It feels different. Obscene, even.

“You heard me. Get rid of them.”

A horrible thrill runs down my spine.

“If you bring me their bodies, I’ll allow you to leave Montreal unharmed. Your wife can join you if she can stomach being married to a fucking liar.”

Vito objects. “I won’t agree to this. Johnny, this asshole insulted my family. My daughter. You’re going to let him walk away?”

Johnny grabs one of my restraints, ripping the fabric free. “He’s not walking anywhere but to his own death.”

* * *

The ten-minute drive is all it takes for my conscience to die a quick death. I’d rather kill them than face an eternity without her.

What’s two more men? Nothing.

The engine sighs as I pull into the driveway and turn off the ignition. I stare through the darkened windows of my house. Maybe she cried herself to sleep.

Squaring my shoulders kills me, but I climb out of the car and lock it with my good hand. I glance at my porch, the light still beaming on the front steps. Then the door swings out. Eva walks through in the summer dress she wore for the baby shower. Tears shine on her cheeks, and her face is puffy from crying, but she couldn’t look more beautiful to me.

Surprise, I’m not dead. “Honey, I’m home.”

Confusion ripples her features until she spots me huddling in the dark. Her scream punches the air. “Bastien!”

She hurtles down the steps, taking them two at a time. Then she crashes into my arms, and I bury her into my chest. A ball of warmth I’ve never known glows beneath all the hurt, healing the pain. I forget the ache. Eva’s safe.

Her fingers curl around my neck as she brings me closer, whispering something I can’t make out. I part her hair to the side, unsticking the strands from her wet cheek.

“I thought you were dead,” she says in a broken voice.

“Your dad is an ass.”

Her chest heaves with heartbreaking sobs. “I love you. You’re the best thing in my life. I should have said it earlier.”

My heart clenches. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it! I want a life with you away from this. It’s all I can think about.”

I hoist her in my arms.

“No, you’re hurt.”

“I don’t care.” Blood races through my veins as her soft skin glides under my hand. Fuck the pain. Right now my mind is on the track that leads straight to our bed.

She clings to my neck, sobbing as I take her up the steps and into my apartment. My foot shuts the door. I set her down, and we kiss in the dark like two ravaged souls. Her lips are like dynamite, setting off an explosion. My hand dives into her hair. I pin her against the wall. Her eyes widen in shock. I kiss her hard, thrusting my tongue between her lips. The strap on her shoulder taunts me. I grab it and pull it down until she spills out. I palm her creamy tits. Trying to calm the raging fire is pointless.

“Wait.” Eva breaks from my lips. She tears at me, patting me down, searching for a gaping wound.

I still her hands. “I’m fine.”

“He said—”

“I need you.”

She touches a sore spot on my face, wincing. “It can wait. You need ice.”

“I’ve had a hell of a day. I love you, but right now the only thing I want is your pussy.”

Eva’s not used to me talking like this. That’s my fault. I’ve been too soft with her, handling her with kid gloves when everything inside me screams to devour her.

It’s time to cut the last thread and accept the monster I became.

She shudders as I unzip her dress, kissing the nape of her neck as it pools to her feet. My hands slide down her body, loving how her hipbones catch my fingers. I snag her panties, rolling them down. Her tits look amazing in the push-up bra, but I want all of her tonight. I kiss the space between them as I unclasp the latch. The bra hits the floor.

I touch her flattened stomach. Won’t be long before it curves under my hand. She’s having my baby. Gets my blood rushing thinking about how big her tits will get, how she’ll swell with my child.

I gaze into her eyes, so dark but full of warmth. My hands lick up her sides. I squeeze her tight ass. A question forms on her mouth, but I silence her with my finger dipping into her wetness. Her lavender lips part with an almost silent gasp.

I should take her in the bedroom, warm her body with mine, but I like having her out in the open. The kitchen bulbs flare on, and they spare no detail when the light kisses her skin. I slide a second finger inside her, watching a pink flush spread over her chest.

Eva wants closeness. She wraps her arms around me and doesn’t let go. She needs me to soothe her, but it’s been too long since I’ve had my way. I wind her hair on my wrist and grab her hip, guiding her toward the round glass table.

“What are we doing?” she stammers.

“I’ve never fucked you in the kitchen. It’s time we changed that.”

Her lips tremble. “Are you okay?”

No. “Turn around.”

“Bastien, I—”

I take her hips and crush my mouth against hers. The protest becomes a sigh of pleasure as my tongue dances inside her mouth. She’s like a magnet for my cock, and tonight stripped away every ounce of patience in my bones. I can’t wait. I don’t want to fucking talk.

My thoughts are wild. I don’t even see Eva—I see perfectly shaped tits that fit into the palm of my hand, a pussy that’s wet for me. They’re all mine, and I fucking want her. I grab her nipple and pinch. Her sigh strokes my cock as though she grabbed it.

I bite her lip, still squeezing. “Turn the fuck around.”

She blinks under the glaring light and obeys with a silent shiver. I make her bend until her tits flatten on the glass. The sight of them smashed into the table makes my dick twitch. Goddamn. If only the floor were a mirror.

My hands slide up her thighs as my body begs for release. I grab my belt and jerk it loose. The slacks fall down my legs. I kick them away and let the briefs join them. My cock sits heavy in my hand, my heartbeat making it jump. The pain can’t be that bad if I can get this hard.

Or she is really that hot.

I flatten it against her thigh. “You see what you do to me?”

Eva splays on the table, legs spread out for me, her back making a beautiful S. She looks at me with the same concerned look. I don’t want her asking questions—I want her screaming my name. I play with her clit as she sucks in her bottom lip and tries not to moan. Her wetness glides on my fingers, and roll them around the swollen bud. I’m in no mood for playing, but she needs to be ready for me.

Pain claws at my ribs. I need to be inside her.

I grab my cock, sliding it along her greedy pussy. I aim and thrust. I anchor deep, igniting an explosion of primal instinct.

My mind breaks.

I drive into her. Wet heat strokes my length when I pull back. Jesus Christ, this woman was made for me. I slam my hips against her thighs. I fuck her with my whole body, yanking her hips. Slapping, wet sounds fill the kitchen.

I wrap my hand around her waist, palming her sweet pussy. My fingers apply pressure so I can feel my length moving through her. Eva gasps, the high-pitched noise cutting off with every thrust of my hips. I grab her hair, pull her head and watch her tits bounce in the reflection of the glass. It’s not enough to observe. My hands roll over her tits, so big they spill out. Her nipples graze my palm like beads. Then I stare at my cock diving into her. The table’s legs skate forward. Her arms flex as she tries to keep her body still, but she doesn’t have the strength to hold herself against my pounding.

I pull out, heart knifing into my chest. I drag her upright. The cool air stings my cock. It wants to be buried inside her tight, wet cunt.

She throws her hands out as I pin her against the fridge. Then I seize her thighs, pulling them roughly apart. I slide into her and cover her mouth, stifling her gasps. She buckles against the door. Moans against my hand. I slip a finger into her mouth, and she wraps her lips around me. The suction reminds me of blowjobs.

My shoulder screams, but I hoist her up, my hands squeezing her ass. I bury myself into her chest and shove my cock to the hilt. Pleasure ratchets up, higher and higher. My whole body aches but I need to come. I lunge. It tightens like a spring. She lets out a deep groan that strikes my core, and then the coils release. An explosion takes place in the pit of my stomach. It rips out of me, jettisoning upward. My muscles spasm as I fill her with cum. My length thrusts inside her, still hard.

“I’m not done with you.” I pull out, gazing at her flushed body.

Eva grabs the tie hanging on my shoulders. She tugs and I follow her into the bedroom. I keep the lights off because I don’t want her to see the bruises. Eva loosens the silk. It slides in her delicate fingers. She opens my shirt, kissing my collarbone. It stings.

My muscles are warm and swollen. She glides over my shoulders, pushing the button-up down with such tenderness that my heart clenches. I hiss when her thumb touches a raw section in my abdomen, and then she turns on the light before I can stop her.

It throws every injury I have in sharp relief. “Eva.”

“Oh my God. Look what they did to you.”

I fucked the rage out of me, but anger ripples through me again. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I knew what I was walking into.”

She touches my face and blood races through my veins. “What happened?”

“They gave me a little beating.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and I regret telling her the truth. I take her hand, guiding it to my cock. Still hard. “If I were badly hurt, I wouldn’t be able to fuck you like this.”

And I scoop her in my arms and throw her on the bed.

Eva squeals as she bounces on the mattress, the cry turning into a moan as I stroke her thigh. She wraps her legs around my waist. My body presses into hers, and my cock touches her pussy. She shifts her hips to open herself for me, and I sink inside.

Fuck, it’s like stepping into a hot bath. The pleasure rolls over me like fog. I fuck her slow and deep. Her breath hitches with every long thrust. I want to feel her clench around me as I gaze into her eyes. A flush begins in her cheeks and travels down to her chest, spreading there like the bloom of a flower. She bites her lip to keep her scream from erupting because Eva isn’t a complainer. Right from the start, I liked that about her. She didn’t bitch about her lot in life like so many other people would. She made the best of it and soldiered on.

I want her beside me for the rest of my life.

I nudge her forward, hitting that sweet spot hard, and finally, she cries out. My dam bursts with another flood as she tightens around me, milking my cock of every drop. Eva’s head falls into the comforter, and I lean my forehead against hers, bathing in this golden light.

I trace the tattoo spiraling up her biceps and shoulder. She sighs as I make a circle around a cherry blossom. “Is this what you are—a delicate, beautiful flower?”

Eva drags her nails on my back. “I walked into the parlor and chose the first thing I liked.”

“All this time I thought it was a metaphor for your personality.”

“I was in my early twenties. Pissed at Dad about something.” Her face darkens at the mention of her father. “Why did they hurt you?”

“I told them I’m a cop.”

The happy moment pops like a shiny soap bubble. “You what?”

“I had to do it if I ever wanted out of this. Eva, don’t—don’t cry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” she says, tears spilling down her cheeks. “They’ll kill you.”

“They need me. Johnny promised he’d back off if I left Montreal and took you with me.”

“I feel so much better already now that he made a promise. It’s a good thing he’s not morally bankrupt.”

A smile hitches on my face. “I’ve done too many terrible things for them to be threatened by me.”

She sits upright, swallowing hard. “What did they ask you to do?”

“Something I might not walk out of.”

“What?” she says, tears clinging to her lashes. “What do you mean?”

I slide from the bed and rummage through my nightstand, scraping the false bottom for the print I kept against Ritter’s orders. I clutch the grainy photograph of my parents and me standing near Lake Doré and give it to her.

She takes it bewildered. “Is that you?”

“If something happens, go to my parents and tell them everything. I’ll give you their address. They’ll take you in. There’s plenty of room on the farm.”

She drops the photos and grabs my shoulders. “Let’s go now while you’re still alive.”

“We won’t stand a chance, Eva. They’ll find us and kill me.”

“No,” she sobs. “I’ll tell my father—”

“Eva, he’s the one who wanted me dead. The reason why I’m here is because Johnny needs me. I don’t have a choice.”

Her high gasp hits the ceiling. “No, Dad wouldn’t agree to that. I’m his daughter!”

“I don’t think he cares, hon.”

Eva sinks into the mattress, hurt shining in her gaze. “He knows how important having a family was to me. W-why would he take you away from me? Why would he do that?”

“Maybe he loves you, I don’t know, but he’s not a good man. He never was. I think he’d rather sacrifice me than his pride. Promise me you’ll get out of here if something happens.”

Tears overflow her lids. “No.”

“You have to.” I brush the wetness from her cheeks. “There’s nothing for you here.”

“Don’t do it, Bastien. Please, I’m begging you. You can’t go through with this.”

It breaks my heart to see her in pain. “I have to.”

“Whatever it is—it sounds dangerous.”

“Eva, it’ll take more than an army of those jackasses to make me leave you.” I smooth her shoulders.

She takes my hands, her fingers biting into my skin. “You better not give up on me, Bastien. Don’t you fucking dare.”

“I love you. When this is over, we’ll be together forever.”

Eva collapses into my chest, crying for a man she was destined to hate. I have to get through this for her. And I will.