Sabine, naked and tied to a hotel bed with my suspenders, was hands down the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

Also, I’m pretty sure tonight was the first time in about fifteen years that I’d dropped an F bomb. I rarely ever even thought the word anymore, and here she’d pulled it out of my mouth effortlessly – twice.

Focus, Levy. My face was half an inch from the promised land, and I was going to make it there if it killed me. The scent of her arousal filled my nostrils, making my dick throb in time with my heartbeat. I wanted nothing more than to tear my own underwear off and slide inside her.

I wasn’t going to do that just yet, though. I had to make sure she got hers first.

But first, I needed a moment. I held myself absolutely still, just breathing her in. However, it seemed she was not as patient as me, as she squirmed under me, shaking her arms like she was trying to get out of her restraints.

I chuckled. “Not yet,” I admonished, lifting her legs and hitching them over my shoulders. “You are mine until I release you.”

Her multicolored eyes met mine, her breasts rising and falling with each ragged breath. Her expression was a mixture of desire and just the slightest hint of fear. Probably scared I wouldn’t release her. She’d made it crystal clear that she didn’t want anything more than this one night.

She needn’t have worried. It was pretty sure it would kill me to let her go when we were done, but I would do it. I’d known the score before we even left the bar. Coming here was a tacit agreement to her terms, and I was always a man of my word.

She lifted her hips, and her soft curls grazed my nose. “Then give me what I want,” she whispered, half-pleading, half-challenging. “Put your mouth on me.”

How could I possibly say no to that?

“Gladly,” I murmured, finally closing the distance between us.

My tongue slid through her slick folds, and we groaned in unison as more of her wetness dripped onto my tongue. Yes.

“Ugh,” she grunted, squeezing me with her thighs. “I want to touch you.” Her arms shook again, hard enough this time to rattle the headboard.

I clamped my hands on her soft belly, holding her in place. “I’ve got you,” I promised.

Her eyes squeezed shut, and she whimpered in frustration. “Hurry,” she begged.

I lightly slapped her hip, and her eyes popped open again. “Watch me,” I demanded.

She rolled her eyes, but they stayed open this time. Good. It was stupid, I know. But if this was all I would get with her, I wanted it to be special. Because Sabine herself was extraordinary. She deserved the best I could possibly give her.

Besides, a part of me was still hoping I could change her mind about the one-night limit. I already knew it wouldn’t be enough for me. I just needed to convince her.

On that note, I got back to business, holding her gaze with my own. Her honey coated my tongue as I tasted her again and again. Yup. Heaven. I could feel her getting close, just from the way her thighs tightened around my ears. So I lifted my head slightly, swirling my tongue around her clit. She moaned loudly, letting me know I was on the right track, and I rewarded her by sucking the little nub into my mouth.

Her eyes rolled back into her head, but I gave her a pass this time, because she was finally coming. A shout of ecstasy escaped her, her hips rolling as wave after wave crashed over her. I continued to lick her gently, stroking her thighs as we rode out her orgasm together.

When the tremors finally subsided, she opened her eyes again. “Eric, please,” she pleaded. “Please let me go. I want to touch you.”

I set her legs back on the bed, raising myself to my knees. “Not happening,” I rumbled, my throat thick with lust. “This is too much fun.” I ran my hands up her hips, skimming over her waist and cupping her breasts. “Concentrating on you. Making you feel good. Driving you crazy.”

She groaned. “You’re a fucking sadist.”

I chuckled. “Nah. I go for the B more than the S.” I leaned forward, flicking my suspenders. Then I gave her a cheesy grin.

Her eyes clouded with confusion for a moment, but then she shook her head. “BDSM. Ha, ha, ha.” Her tone was dripping with sarcasm, but her eyes were smiling.

I shrugged. “I’m not hardcore into the scene.” My eyes travelled up to where her hands were bound to the headboard. “Though I do admit I like what I see here.”

She grinned at me. “Then hurry up and fuck me, Sir.”

I groaned as I pulled my underwear down, scrambling off the bed for a second to step out of them. “A submissive would usually be a lot less bossy than this.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, it should be clear by now that I am nobody’s submissive.”

And I wouldn’t say it aloud for fear of scaring her off, but I loved that about her. I’d only met her a couple of hours ago, but in just that short time she’d challenged me again and again, surprising me every time she opened her mouth.

Besides, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t into the BDSM scene. I liked tying up my partner now and then – and I really liked doing it to this particular partner – but that was about as far as it went. Nothing against the folks who were committed to the lifestyle. It just wasn’t what I was into.

But I was definitely into Sabine. My hand shook as I reached for the condom, tearing it open with my teeth clumsily. I rolled it on as quickly as I could, and then I was climbing on the bed again.

Her breath hitched as I placed a hand on each of her knees, spreading her legs for me. Then I leaned forward until I was propped up on my elbows. I put a hand on either side of her, cupping her face.

Her eyes were huge in her face, which was still damp and flushed from her orgasm. “Eric,” she whispered.

“Mmm?” I pressed my lips to hers, just a quick, soft kiss, because I had to. I just had to.

“Fuck me, goddamn it.” Her hips shifted, like her body was seeking mine.

“Well,” I murmured, pulling a hand from her face and taking myself in hand. I lined up at her entrance. “Since you asked so nicely.”

And then I slowly pushed inside her.

Heaven. Absolute heaven. Yeah. This had to be the promised land. I held myself still, just savoring the way her tight channel sheathed me, how I slid in so effortlessly. I did that. I made her that wet, made her so slick with desire for me.

She moaned, and a stupid grin overtook my face as I started to move, pumping my hips slowly at first. God, this was perfect. She was perfect.

She hitched her knees up, wrapping her legs around me, trying to take me deeper. Her eyes were hooded and hazy as she locked her ankles behind me, pressing her feet into my ass to urge me on.

“Yes,” she sighed. “Come on, fuck me harder.”

I smiled as I bent my head, capturing her mouth in a slow, leisurely kiss. I continued to thrust slow and deep.

She grunted as she broke the kiss. “Ugh. You really are a sadist,” she complained. “Quit torturing me and fuck me already.”

I nibbled her lower lip. “Not torturing you,” I replied. “Savoring you.” I kissed her again, stroking her tongue with mine. “Savoring this.”

There was no mistaking it this time – her eyes were definitely fearful as she looked up at me. “Why?” she whispered.

I stroked her smooth, round cheek. Here goes nothing, I thought. Might as well lay all the cards on the table. What have I got to lose, right?

“Because I like you.”

Oddly, her eyes were shining now, but her voice was firm when she answered. “Don’t you dare get any ideas. This is it. Just this once.”

I closed my eyes, swallowing a sigh. Of course she didn’t like me. Sure, she was attracted to me, at least enough for a little adult fun. But she didn’t want to spend more time with me, didn’t want to get to know me better. Not like I wanted to know her.

Of course I wouldn’t be so lucky.

“I know,” I promised her. Then I raised myself to my knees again. “I know.”

And to reassure her that I wasn’t “getting any ideas,” I gave her what she wanted – I fucked her.

She responded enthusiastically as I gripped her hips, pounding into her with everything I had. And in less time than I thought possible, she clenched around me, her head tipping back as she came again.

God, she looked so beautiful, the long column of her throat exposed to me. Unable to resist, I leaned forward, kissing the silky skin there. I wasn’t going to last through much more of this. It was just too good. Lightning raced up my spine, and my hips jerked erratically as I felt my own orgasm approaching.

She must have sensed it, too. “Come on,” she breathed in my ear. “Give it to me.”

And that did it. My teeth clamped down on the tendon between her neck and shoulder as I pulsed deep inside her, three, four, five times. I came so hard, it’s possible I blacked out there for a second. The next thing I remember is her squirming underneath me, like she was trying to push me off.

“Sorry.” I shifted up onto my elbows to avoid crushing her any further. As quickly as I could, I pulled out of her, rolling off the bed and shuffling over to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

I reached down to pinch the tip, and my heart stopped.

It was completely blown open.

“Shit,” I groaned.

I heard her chuckle in the other room. “Did I hear that right? Did you actually just say ‘shit?’” she taunted. I heard the headboard rattle again. “And are you ever going to untie me?”

“Shit,” I said, louder this time. She laughed again, but this was so not funny. Not funny at all. I ripped the condom off, tossing it in the toilet. Then I slammed the lid and backed away from it, like I’d just trapped a venomous snake in there.

I whirled around, staring at my pale, shell-shocked face in the mirror. I leaned my forehead on the counter, the cool marble combatting the feverish sweat beading on my forehead as I took several deep, calming breaths. Then I grabbed a washcloth and cleaned up as quickly as I could.

When I emerged from the bathroom with another washcloth for her, she was still laughing about my uncharacteristic vocabulary choice.

But her laughter died as I came around the bed and she caught the expression on my face. “What is it?” she asked.

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it. I huffed. Then I opened my mouth again.

“Spit it out,” she demanded, her eyes narrowing. “What the hell happened?”

I swallowed. “The condom broke,” I replied, my voice barely a croak.

She went very still. Her hips stopped shifting, and her arms locked up. She wasn’t even blinking as she looked at me. “Say that again.” Her voice was dangerously calm, her expression completely neutral.

I cleared my throat. “The condom broke.”

She stared at me for a beat, then another. “Untie me, please,” she said, her voice still unnaturally quiet and calm.

“Shit.” I rushed to the bed, fumbling with both the knots and my apology. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Those were brand new. I just got them this morning. And I know I got the right size. I’ve never had that happen to me.” I finally got the knot loose, and I pulled her wrists from the loop, rubbing them gently to get the blood flowing again. “I don’t know what happened. Maybe because we were going so hard…”

The words died in my throat at the stony look on her face. Shit. It had been her idea to go harder. She’d pretty much begged for it, in fact.

“You don’t want to finish that sentence,” she whispered, her eyes flashing at me as she sat up.

No, I really didn’t. There was no way I was going to blame her for this. It was my responsibility to keep her safe, and I couldn’t even get that right.

I guess my bad luck had never actually turned around. It’d just been laying low, waiting until the worst possible moment to make its presence known again.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated as I followed her to the bathroom. “I have no idea what happened.” I sighed, frustrated. I was talking in circles. I closed my eyes. Think, Levy. This isn’t a complete disaster. It’s not like you infected her with an incurable disease.

Well, at least I could reassure her on that score.

“I’m clean,” I told her.

She huffed. “So am I.”

I breathed a little easier. Not much, but a little. “Okay,” I said. “Are you at least on the pill?”

“No.”

I stopped breathing altogether. One word. One syllable. Just one little sound, and it had the potential to change my entire life as I knew it.

“Oh.”

A million and one emotions flew through me.

Fear. Because, God, what if she got pregnant?

And then elation. What if she got pregnant? I wanted a family. I wanted that so badly I could taste it. This might be an unconventional way to start one, but it wouldn’t be wrong. It could be the best thing that had ever happened to me – to both of us. I would just need to convince her of that.

And then disappointment, with the tiniest shadow of grief coloring it. I’d never be able to convince her. She didn’t even want another night of wild monkey sex with me. She would never agree to a long-term relationship with me, let alone have a kid with me.

And with that, the stupid balloon of hope that had inflated in my gut in the last few moments burst like someone had stuck a pin in it. My naïve dreams of making a life with the most fascinating, challenging woman I’d ever met were dissolving into thin air right in front of me.

Reluctantly, I lifted my eyes to her. She was standing in the bathroom doorway, her hand resting on the jamb, and she looked tired. So very tired.

“I need a minute,” she said, her tone lifeless. Then she turned, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

“Okay,” I whispered. I backed up until my bare ass hit the grass cloth wallpaper. Then I slid all the way down the wall until I plopped ungracefully onto the carpet. “Okay.”

She took more than minute. That was okay with me. She could have all the minutes she needed. As badly as I was freaking out, it must have been ten times worse for her. She would be the one who would have to make the decision on what to do. I would support her, whatever she chose, but it was ultimately her choice. So I sat on the floor outside the hotel bathroom, listening as she ran the tap for what seemed like hours.

I sat, staring at the damp washcloth I’d gotten for her, but never gave to her – yet another way I’d dropped the ball. I ran it across my face, scrubbing it down my throat and across the back of my neck. Then I stared at the bathroom door, waiting for her.

When she finally opened the door, her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, as though she’d been crying, but her face was dry and her expression calm. I scrambled to my feet, reaching out to pull her into my arms. But hers flew up, crossing over her bare breasts in a defensive posture. I took a deep breath and nodded, leaning against the wall to put the distance she so obviously wanted between us.

“I’m going down to the pharmacy tomorrow to get the morning-after pill,” she said in a scratchy voice. But her tone was firm, making it clear she wouldn’t entertain any arguments.

I nodded quickly. If that was what she wanted, then that was okay with me.

And if I felt a sudden, dizzying wave of sadness at the loss of our potential child? Well, that was my problem to deal with.

“Will that…” I cleared my throat. “How well does it…” I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

“It’s about ninety-five percent effective if you take it within twenty-four hours,” she said, her tone still calm and detached. “I Googled it.” She held up her phone. I hadn’t even realized she’d brought it with her into the bathroom.

“Oh.” My tongue felt too big in my mouth as I tried to find the right words. “Okay. Ninety-five percent. That’s good.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she gave me a long, searching look. Eventually, she must have realized I wasn’t trying to trick her, because her features softened a tiny bit.

“Well.” She moved past me to the bedroom. She bent, picking up her clothes piece by piece and holding them in front of herself like she was trying to build a wall between us with fabric. “I better get going.”

I frowned, feeling a sudden wave of panic. Somehow, despite even the disastrous way the night had ended, I didn’t want her to go.

“Stay with me,” I offered before I could think better of it.

Her eyes widened in what looked like outrage. “Are you serious right now?”

I held my hands up in a placating gesture. “No expectations. Just sleep.” I gave her a tentative smile. “The room is ours until morning anyway. Might as well take advantage of it.”

Her posture relaxed a tiny bit, and she swayed slightly on her feet. Her expression was wary, but her eyes looked torn. “This is ridiculous,” she scoffed. “We already agreed that I wouldn’t spend the night.”

I didn’t think it was wise in that moment to point out that I’d never actually agreed to that, not out loud, anyway. She’d demanded it, and I hadn’t argued. That was agreement enough.

“Come on,” I cajoled. “It’s been a really long night.” A glance at the clock on the nightstand told me it was almost two a.m. “I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s just get some sleep.”

She still seemed unconvinced. But after a long moment, she let out a sigh. “Fine,” she muttered, dropping her clothes on a chair. “Just sleep,” she warned, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

I nodded fervently. The last thing I wanted was to tempt my luck again. “Just sleep,” I promised.

So we climbed into the big, soft bed together. I rolled as close to the middle as I dared, while she lay with her back to me. I wanted nothing more than to close the distance between us, to hold her in my arms all night. But I didn’t want to push it. It had been hard enough to get her to agree to even this much.

She shifted restlessly for several minutes, like she couldn’t get comfortable. Eventually she huffed, reaching behind her and grabbing my arm. She pulled me closer, resting my arm on her waist. My fingers brushed her soft belly, and I stole a quick caress before I could stop myself.

“Don’t get any ideas,” she growled.

I shook my head, glad that she couldn’t see my grin. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

She grunted, sounding unhappy. But gradually, her breathing slowed, and I heard her snuffle softly as she fell asleep.

I lay awake for a long time, just thinking. About her, and the electric chemistry we shared. About what an amazing time it had been, even with the mess at the end. About how I would have felt if she’d decided to wait it out, instead of immediately trying to fix our mistake.

About how it didn’t feel like a mistake to me.

I’m not sure what time I finally fell asleep. But I do know that when I woke in the morning, she was already gone.