Chapter Eighteen

Callie was offered a pair of footed pajama pants, but the height difference between her and the other women meant the pants were far too small. She settled for a pair of flannel pants she’d brought with her and a foam toe separator while Addison painted her toenails.

The design might not last through her next shift between forms, but it would make her feel pretty until then. Besides, she reasoned, it gave them something to do together. Callie knew nothing about the other mates. To her, they’d been assignments. She was supposed to come and convince them of all the Den had to offer new mothers.

Now, she was one of them. It didn’t feel like it. Callie still felt like she was standing on the fringes of something. She was part of the crew, but apart because her ties to the Den still dragged her back. She’d expected the women to be cold to her the way that Boomer had been, but they’d welcomed her with more warmth than she’d ever felt.

Callie looked to Aimee and wondered what her friend would do now. Aimee had never felt at home at the Den. It had simply been a stop on her journey. Callie wondered if her friend would move on, like she always said she would, or if there was something that would make Aimee settle down with them.

As much as Callie wanted to call out Aimee, she turned toward Emmy and Addison. Both were new shifters, humans that had been changed for one reason or another. As far as Callie understood, Emmy had asked for the change. While the woman seemed sweet and soft on the outside, Callie saw the steel glint in her eyes.

Addison, on the other hand, had been saved by the change. Callie knew the woman’s scars were probably deeper than her skin. Coming that close to death had to have a price.

Callie suddenly felt bland in the face of them. She didn’t know what she brought to this small pack. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She felt smashed, reduced to nothing but ruin after what happened.

“Addison, how’s that book going?” Emmy smirked like they had an inside joke.

Callie and Aimee shared a quick look before turning to Addison. The auburn-haired shifter glowered at Emmy. Both Callie and Aimee pressed their backs into the couch to escape the fury that was Addison’s gaze.

“It’s going fine. Why do you ask?”

“Liar,” Emmy accused with a wily grin. “Reid mentioned that you haven’t touched it in nearly a month.”

“Looks like Reid and I need to have a talk when I get home.” Addison slammed the nail polish brush back into the bottle.

“If you can’t stand to look at it right now, then why don’t you start something new? That way you’re still flexing those creative muscles while you give the other book a break.”

Addison lunged to her feet, crossed the room, and hugged Emmy tight. She laid a big kiss on Emmy’s forehead. “You have the best ideas!”

They watched Addison run into the kitchen for a stray piece of paper and a writing utensil. Emmy sat with her spine straight and chin up.

“You look out for everyone here, don’t you?” Callie asked.

It was apparent that Emmy was a caretaker. The shifter refused to let anything get to her because she had others that needed her. Callie waited for Emmy to turn those instincts on her, but the shifter’s gaze skipped over Callie and went straight to Aimee.

“Where did you get that adorable stuffed otter?”

Callie spun toward her friend, noticing for the first time that Aimee had a little stuffed otter tucked in her lap. It was small, the size of a newborn kitten. That explained why Callie hadn’t noticed it, but she was certain it hadn’t come from Alaska with them.

“Didn’t Morgan win you one of the big ones at the festival? Did he also get you that one?” Callie recalled the disastrous double date. Morgan tried to make Callie jealous, but set it aside in favor of a more direct approach once Aimee and Dom ganged up on her. Her lips formed an O as she realized where the tiny stuffed thing had come from.

“Dom won that for you. Didn’t he?”

Emmy howled with delight, clapping her hands together. “Do we have a new couple on the horizon?”

Aimee tucked the little stuffed animal into her bag at her feet. It was clear she didn’t want to talk about it, but Callie enjoyed the shift of attention to her friend. It made her shoulders feel lighter, even if only for a moment, and so she didn’t let up.

“Why didn’t you tell us about you and Dom? Come on. We need all the juicy details.” Callie nudged her friend with her shoulder, pushing for a story that would make her feel like all eyes weren’t on her.

Aimee scooted away from her friend and shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why won’t you tell us? It’s just us girls?” It was easier than talking about the Den. Callie didn’t have to face the lies she’d lived if she pressed Aimee for gossip. So, she kept pushing, prodding her friend even though it was clear Aimee was shutting down. “Because my life isn’t yours to parade around.”

Callie wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Aimee snap at anyone before. Her friend had a sharp tongue, but it’d always been used with wit. Never with the venom that Callie felt. She shrank back from the words, her guilt doubling.

She opened her mouth to apologize, but Emmy had already taken control of the situation and was turning it in a new direction. While Emmy spoke, Callie looked to her friend. She silently begged Aimee to forgive her. She didn’t know what was going on between Aimee and Dom, but she never would have thought it would make Aimee so guarded.

Callie bent and pulled the stuffed otter from the bag, intending to hand it back to Aimee as a kind of apology. Aimee slapped her hand before she could grab it. Callie jumped back.

No matter what she did, at every turn, she was screwing up.

“Aimee,” she began. “I was just joking.”

It wasn’t an apology and she knew it. For some reason, Callie couldn’t get an apology out. It stuck in her chest, a lump that she could barely breathe around.

What she’d done hadn’t been that bad. She hadn’t really done anything wrong, and yet Aimee acted as though Callie had stabbed her. Callie couldn’t figure out why her friend was so angry. It was nothing. It was a joke.

“Fine. Be stuck up. We’re all just trying to have a bit of fun.”

Callie was aware that all eyes were on her now. Emmy and Addison had stopped what they were doing to watch the fight unfold. It was over, Callie thought, folding her arms over her chest.

But, it wasn’t. Aimee had been pushed too far.

“Of course. It’s just a joke when you want to tease me. It’s not like I didn’t cling to the bottom of a truck to help you escape from your evil father. It’s not like I didn’t almost fall into traffic for you. Do you even realize how dangerous that was? I did it for you, but it’s like you don’t even care.”

Callie was stunned. It seemed the rest of the room was, too. No one knew what to say. They all stared at Aimee with their jaws dropped. One by one, they snapped shut. Aimee moved to leave, but Callie beat her to it.

She surged to her feet and ran for the door. The room got smaller and smaller. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She could feel all eyes on her. They accused her of everything bad that had happened to them. It was her fault.

Everything was Callie’s fault.

Callie shoved the door open, stumbling into the cold night air. It caressed her face and filled her lungs with cold, clearing her mind for a moment. The stars winked above her head, much like the stars she’d seen from back home.

A place she’d never return to.

All over again, her mind began to spin. Callie couldn’t help but see all the ways she had destroyed her own life. Worse even, she had passed that on to Morgan the moment she arrived. Perhaps the other women didn’t blame her, but Callie couldn’t stay if the men didn’t trust her. No one would want to leave her alone. They would be waiting for the moment that she betrayed them, watching with hawk-eyes just to be able to proclaim ha, I knew it!

The only problem was that she didn’t know what she could do to make any one of them believe her. She was done with the Den. She was done with its lies and the way it continued to hurt people. The men had spoken about their pains, and she had listened.

Wasn’t it their turn to listen?

Callie wanted to punch a tree, but as she approached, a figure stepped out of the darkness. Her heart flipped, thinking the worst. Someone from the Den had come to quietly take her back. Then, an errant breeze brought a familiar scent to her nose and the sudden tension in her shoulders loosened.

“Morgan. You aren’t supposed to be here. It’s a girls’ night.” Even as she admonished his presence, she reached to wind her arms around his neck.

He stepped into her arms and pressed his cheek to hers. He was warm and comforting. She could sink into him and never come up for air. As it was, she rested her forehead against his shoulder.

“I screwed up,” she confessed.

Morgan held her, wrapping his arms around her back. He gave her the room she needed to speak, to work things out by herself. She was glad for his presence.

“I was teasing Aimee because I thought it would make me feel better. It was dumb and rude and all the things I never want to be again. I want this all to end. It’s not like…it’s not like I want anything to go back to the way it was.

“All I want is to not feel like I’m the one ruining everything all the time.”

“You haven’t ruined anything,” Morgan whispered in her ear.

His words should have settled her. She should have found solid ground under her feet. Instead, she pushed back and gaped at him.

“You can’t tell me that I didn’t ruin things when I told Dad I didn’t want to go back. He never would have ambushed the group if I’d gone home. If I went home, none of this would have happened.”

Morgan’s grip on her tightened. She saw the pulse on his throat as his jaw clenched. When he spoke, it was from between clenched teeth. “Going back to the people who hurt you is never an option. Do you hear me? I’d rather we struggle through this now than let you fall back into the hands of the Den.”

Callie wasn’t convinced. So much hardship could have been avoided if she’d only listened to her father. He would make everyone’s life a living hell until someone stopped him. What would they lose in the process? Callie had already lost the trust of the group. She was also losing Aimee now.

Her beast tried to tell her that she was exactly where she needed to be. Callie knew her beast would always say that in the presence of Morgan. It had never given up on him. All the years of doubting her beast made her question it’s convictions now. She knew she shouldn’t. The beast had been right. It had known that Morgan was their mate.

Yet, she still couldn’t find it in her to listen to the beast. If her presence caused this much turmoil, how could this be the right place for her?

“Listen to me,” Morgan said as he put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. He looked into her eyes and helped her ground herself again. “Just because we are supernatural creatures doesn’t mean we aren’t human, too. We all understand that you’ve had the rug swept out from under you. Nothing feels right. Everything is up in the air.

“It’s going to take some time to adjust to a new life. It’s going to take even longer to heal what’s going on in here.” He tapped her temple and let his fingers trail down her cheek. “I know what it feels like to lose your world. I can tell you that there will come a time when you realize you’ve made a new one for yourself.”

“What if…” Callie hesitated to put her fear into words. She gripped Morgan’s jacket sleeves like she feared she might drift away. “What if I don’t know how to make a new one? I’ve never known anything other than the Den. I’m afraid that I’m not my own person.”

Morgan sucked in a breath through his nose. She could tell he hadn’t expected her confession. Truth be told, she had only just realized it herself.

“I don’t want to be the person Boomer thinks I am, but I was that person. How do I change?”

Morgan swallowed. “You were never that person. You can believe me because I would never love someone like that. You would never do the things your father did. In your heart, you believed that the Den was good. You believed it could make life better. That was why you held onto it.

“The moment you realized it was a lie, you let it go. Because that’s the person you are. You want the best for everyone. From here on out, you’re going to stumble. You’re going to make mistakes. The only thing we need to remember is who you are. If we hold onto that, then we’re going to make a whole new life filled with everything you could ever want.”

Callie snorted. “You sound like you’re screwing with me now. Don’t tell me things just because you think I want to hear them.”

“I’m not trying to comfort you. I’m making promises.”

Her heart clenched. She didn’t know what she did to deserve him. After what she’d done, she knew she didn’t. Yet, Morgan was by her side through thick and thin.

“As for convincing Boomer that you can be trusted, keep helping Emmy through this. As long as you stand beside his mate, Boomer will have no reason to treat you the way he has.”

Callie offered a half-grin. “If he keeps it up, can I knock out a few of his teeth?”

“How about you start with telling the others his real name? Hit him where it hurts and let him keep his teeth.”

Callie snorted in her laughter, tears beading in the corners of her eyes as she clung to Morgan. She clung to him while the wave of emotions hit. One by one, she worked through them. The feeling of being lost, of having lost. Her fear of hurting those she loved.

Instead of going back to the girls’ night affair, Callie and Morgan went back to his cabin. She spent the night in his bed, hugging him tight and waiting for the world to end. The world kept spinning, lives kept moving forward, all while Callie waited for her father to send someone else after her.