Chapter Fifteen
There was something rather naughty about going down on Brett, knowing his friends and their awful wives weren’t too far away. She loved having control at the moment, and even more so, knowing that he wasn’t going to stop her.
He breathed raggedly as she took him deeper into her mouth and then out again, always teasing him with her tongue. His fingers clutched her hair and his hips rose, thrusting him further into her mouth.
Did she stop? Or did she let him find release this way? She was on the fence, when he let out a low groan and suddenly thrust her away.
“I can’t,” he growled, easing out from under her. “Not yet. I want to be inside you when I come. But first, how about fair play?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean this.”
She squealed as he flipped her onto her back and pushed her knees apart.
“Oh no, you’d best not, Brett.” She tried to keep her voice at a whisper.
“And why the hell not?”
“Because I can’t shut up when you do that. I make all sorts of loud, dirty sounds when you’re going down on me.” She gave a small shrug. “I don’t want to scandalize your friends.”
Even in the dimness, only broken by their small lamp, she could see his smug smile.
“Well, you should’ve thought about that a few minutes ago, sugar. When you had your pretty lips wrapped around me.”
“Oh, aye, but I wanted to leave no doubt to your friends and their prudent wives that I know how to please my man.”
“You sure do,” he muttered, and then could wait no more. “So let’s make sure they know that I’m just as good at pleasing my woman.”
“Brett, no! I’m much louder than you, and you can hear everything through these tents.”
She laughed, and tried to push him away, but the moment his tongue slid inside her hot heat she knew it was a lost cause. With a shuddering sigh of surrender, she closed her eyes and reached to hold his head against her.
She tried to stay quiet, she really did. Biting her lip and swallowing the low moans in her throat. He seemed to take it as a challenge, licking her slower and deeper. When the intensity of her oncoming orgasm grew, she felt her control slipping.
When he sucked her clit steadily, and pressed a finger into her, she was gasping and calling out his name. The orgasm that ripped through her was so intense, tears gathered in her eyes.
By the time he’d slipped on a condom and entered her, she knew they weren’t thinking about anyone but each other now.
It was only when it was over, and she lay exhausted—physically and emotionally—curled up in his arms, did she hear movement outside the tent.
A man grumbled, “Usually when a chick complains of a headache, you don’t get laid.”
Unable to hide her laugh, she buried her face against his chest to at least smother it some. He was laughing silently too, and his muscles bounced against her cheek.
“Guess they know.”
“Of course they bloody well know. We probably were louder than that awful country music they were playing.”
They spoke quietly, so that no one outside would’ve overheard them unless they were right outside the tent.
“Hmm. We’re going to have to work on your taste in music.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you going to be embarrassed tomorrow morning?”
“No. I’ll take pride in the fact that we’re simply the perverts in the group.”
“And we will wear the pervert badge proudly.”
They shared another round of laughter, and she cuddled closer, trying to remember if she’d ever been this happy before.
Aye, there was family, but this was different. This was wanting to cry when she thought about not seeing him in a few months. Of the possibility of them ending.
She loved his slow smile and charming humor. Loved how easily she could trust him. In bed and outside of it. She loved the way she felt so completely cherished. She just…oh God.
She was simply in love with him. It was that easy. And that complicated.
Acknowledging the sudden realization both relieved and scared her. The fear being a bit stronger, and tears gathered in her eyes. She stared wide-eyed into the darkness, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and wondered how the hell this had happened. She hadn’t seen it coming, but her friends and family had.
Brett stilled and shifted against her. “What—sugar, are you crying?”
“No, of course not.” Oh God. He’d felt her tears on his cheek.
“Kenzie, what’s wrong, honey?” He rolled onto his side, cupping her face as he gazed down at her with concern.
“I…” She couldn’t hide it. It was coming out of her mouth, like it or not. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’ve no idea how that’s even possible this fast.”
His chest rose visibly and he let out a shuddering breath. And he said nothing.
Nothing.
Foreboding swept through her, tightening her heart and racing her pulse.
“And I see it’s so bloody crazy,” she muttered, “that you don’t even know how to reply.”
“It’s not crazy,” he rasped, holding her still when she made to move away. “It actually makes me feel less crazy, because I’ve been having the same thoughts.”
She stilled, her gaze searching his. “Really?”
“Yes, and if you think about it, it hasn’t been all that fast.” He stroked his thumb over her cheek. “We met over a year ago. Maybe we didn’t get together right away—absolutely my dumbass fault—but you never left my mind. And it appears my heart, Kenzie. No matter how much I wanted to stop it from happening, or deny it. It was there.”
She swallowed hard, struggling to stay afloat in uncharted waters.
“I have no idea what happens next, Brett. Where do we go from here?”
“I’m not sure.” His eyes flickered with unease. “I have three years left in the Navy.”
Her heart sank, and she gave a small nod. “And that’s clearly the crux of the matter. What do you want me to say?” She gave a small shrug. “I can tell you that I’m okay with you leaving for six months, but it’s not about me. It’s about you, and you being able to put aside your past enough to trust me.”
He didn’t deny it, instead gave a heavy sigh. “I don’t trust anymore.”
“Well it’s a damn shame, Brett. Because I sure as hell trust you—and I have every reason not to trust people.” She moved away from him, sliding off the springy air mattress and searching for her clothes.
“Where are you going?”
“To grab some water.”
“Kenzie—”
“I need a moment, all right? Please.” She hesitated. “Just let me be for a bit.”
She was relieved when he didn’t try to follow when she left the tent a second later.
Outside she noted the others had gone to bed. The fire was out and there was nothing but moonlight peeking through the trees to light up the evening.
A shiver of unease slid through her, because it reminded her so much of the night Charles had attacked her. Anytime she was alone out under the moon, she got these mini anxiety attacks.
Which was stupid, because what did she expect? Charles to jump out of the woods and attack her again?
His words from the grocery store flitted back through her head.
I’m untouchable. I can do whatever the hell I want, to whomever I want. So if I were you…
She had been so angry with him at the time she hadn’t really let his statement sink in. It was moments like this where she got a little paranoid. Took them for the thinly veiled threat they were.
But she was camping miles from home, and he didn’t know that. She was being ridiculous.
A branch snapped nearby, followed by soft footsteps.
Kenzie swung her gaze to the right and saw the beam of a flashlight bouncing off forest floor. Her heart leapt into her throat, and she was ready to run, when a tall black lady stepped into view.
“Hey,” the woman called out. “I didn’t realize anyone else was still awake. I just ran to the bathroom. I’m Nicole. Me and Delmar just got here a half hour ago.”
Relief made her a bit weaker. “Oh right. Glad you guys made it. I’m—”
“The screamer. We heard.”
Oh God. Mortification couldn’t adequately describe the emotion sliding through her right now.
“I suppose we were kind of awful,” she agreed weakly.
“Girl, you were awesome. You were having yourself a good time. I’m glad you’re here. It’s Kenzie, right?”
“Aye. I mean, right.” Kenzie followed her to the table and grabbed a bottle of water.
“I missed the s’mores, dammit, but plan on getting something to eat since my hubby went to bed the minute he inflated it. Lame ass. You want a sandwich?”
“I think I overdosed on s’mores, but thank you.” She watched in awe as Nicole searched through the ice chest.
“You are nothing like them,” Kenzie finally said.
“Like who?” Nicole pulled out some bread and meat and carried it to the table.
“The other chiefs’ wives.”
Pausing in her sandwich-making mission, Nicole gave a firm shake of her head.
“I’m nothing like those bitches and proud of it.”
Kenzie gave a soft laugh. “I’m glad you agree that they suck.”
“Those women are nasty mean. Just evil-hearted.” Nicole continued making her sandwich and waved the container of meat at her. “Look, I don’t come to these camping weekends. I got tired of their bullshit. But when I heard Brett was bringing his new girlfriend I knew you’d be like a shiny new target for those ladies. So I came to give you at least one person you’d be able to call a friend.”
“You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I gotta say, I was glad as hell to hear—literally—that me and my Delmar aren’t the only ones getting our freak on while camping.”
Grinning, Kenzie murmured, “I think we’re going to get along fantastically, Nicole.”
“You seem pretty cool too. I’ve been curious about you. Brett’s been single for a long time, and for him to bring you to the camping weekend is a big deal. Are you guys serious? If I’m prying too much, you go ahead and tell me.”
Were they serious? Yes, but with a heavy dose of no.
“We’re trying, but we’ve both got a bit of baggage,” she said carefully.
“Who doesn’t? Brett’s a good guy, but I don’t know how easy he’d be to love.”
Actually, he was all too easy to love. It was getting him to trust her that was the hard part.
“How long have you and Delmar been married?” She changed the subject, mostly out of curiosity.
“Fifteen years.”
“Do you like being a Navy wife?”
“I love it. Love getting to move around. Lots of people hate that part, but we’re okay. We’ve got each other and our kids.” Nicole paused to eat a bite of sandwich. “We consider it a big adventure.”
“It sounds like it would be.”
“Hmm. So it sounds like you guys are getting serious. You wondering if you can handle being married to a Navy guy?”
“I suppose it crosses one’s mind when you begin dating.” Marriage. They’d tiptoed around that word. Sure, their conversations may have centered around the dynamics of being involved with someone in the military—someone who came and went routinely, but no one had ever said the M word.
“You could handle it, Kenzie,” Nicole said quietly. “I promise, if you love the guy enough, you can handle anything together.”
Kenzie gave a small nod. “I think you’re right. Thanks for the chat.” She stood and smiled at her new friend. “It’s helped more than you can believe.”
“Anytime. And hey, the way those boys cook the eggs in bacon grease? It’s going to rock your world, girl. See you at breakfast.”
“Yum. My arteries are clogging in anticipation. See you at breakfast,” she called out.
Even as she climbed into the tent, Nicole’s words still rang through her head. How love could get you through anything. It wasn’t waxing poetic.
Unfortunately, Kenzie wasn’t the one doubting that theory. It was the man she loved, who’d fallen asleep outside his sleeping bag. One arm thrown up over his head, and his brows drawn together in a frown. As if he’d gone to sleep tormented by his thoughts.
Kenzie turned off the flashlight, dousing the tent in darkness as she climbed into her sleeping bag. Somehow, she sensed her sleep might be filled with similar angst. Closing her eyes, she tried to not think about where the hell they went from here.
*
Brett stared down at Kenzie, still asleep and curled up in his bed, as he got dressed.
It was Monday morning, and back to the grind. He knew she didn’t have to go to work for a few more hours yet, and it was custom for her to slip out later in the morning with the key he’d given her.
Things were back to normal.
That deep conversation in the tent, the admissions of love, it was like it hadn’t even happened. They didn’t talk about it again. Not during the rest of the camping weekend, and not since they’d returned last night.
It’d all been safe chatter. Making food. Making love. The usual stuff. But now, knowing he was going away on detachment for a few days, he knew he couldn’t leave things the way they were.
She stirred in the bed, her lashes slowly fluttering open.
“It is. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” He grinned and finished getting dressed.
“Have I ever told you how sexy you are in that blue camouflage bit you wear?” She stretched her arms above her head and ran her gaze over him.
“No, but it’s about time you did, sugar,” he teased, and approached the bed.
He knelt down on the mattress and eased to the middle toward her. She reached up, cupping his head as he dipped in for a kiss. Their lips met, soft and warm. Tender.
“I should probably crash at my house tonight,” she murmured, when their lips parted. “Let you get a full night’s sleep.”
“Sleep is overrated, but I’m leaving for a few days.”
She sat up, seeming more alert. “Leaving?”
“Detachment. It’s where we go out for shorter periods of time. This time, not even a week.” He paused. “I’ll be back by the weekend.”
“Oh.” She met his gaze and then gave a small nod. “All right then. I’ll just see you when you get back.”
He stared at her, uncertain about her response. Maybe he’d expected her to freak out a little. Complain about the time apart—even though a week was nothing. But she’d taken it in stride. Seeming more surprised than upset.
“I’m going to miss you, sugar.” He kissed her again.
Her eyes were still closed. “I’m going to miss you too, but this is your job. It’s what you do, and a week is barely that long at all.”
Relief slid through him, but still that niggling sense of doubt. Would she be as calm and collected if it was six months? With his ex-wife it had been tears, drama and so much blame.
“I’ll see you Saturday night, then? After you get off work?”
“Ah, no. Sorry, love, but I’ve got plans with the girls. Bachelorette party and all.”
“Ah. The night to misbehave.”
She grinned. “Well, not too awfully. Hailey isn’t much of a partier. We’ll have to get her drunk on sugar instead of alcohol.”
“Not a bad plan.”
“Oh, and my brothers wanted me to inform you you’re invited to the pub to hang out with them. A guys’ night, so to speak.”
“I see. Is that a request or an order?” He gave a slow smile.
“Well, it’s a request, but they really would love to get to know you better.” A guilty smile flickered across her face. “You know them.”
“I’m beginning to, yes. Tell them I’ll be there.”
Her smile widened, and she sighed. “You’re really good to me.”
Not good enough.
He loved his Navy career and a year ago would’ve been all over the opportunity that had just made itself known. Now, he knew what was more important. What he would choose. Or more importantly, whom.
“Do you want long-term, Kenzie?”
She stilled and he heard her breath catch. Her gaze searched his, and she finally murmured, “I’m willing to try if you are.”
“I am. I’ve located my MIA balls, and am attempting to man up for the woman who’s become my world.” He touched her cheek. “I love you, and don’t want to lose you. If you think you can handle three more years with me serving, then I’d love to try this committed, long-term relationship stuff again.”
“I can handle it. I just want you to trust me.”
“I do—”
“You say you do, but I can see the fear and doubt in your eyes, Brett. I hope it eases over time.” She turned her head to kiss his palm. “I’ve been ignoring the opposite sex for years now. Unlike the other women who’ve been in your life, I’ve no desire to go out and replace your dick—sorry to be crude—the moment you go out to sea for a bit. I want you, Brett. No one else.”
The tightness in his chest eased some, and the sincerity in her words had hope and love flowing through his veins.
“I don’t deserve you. You’re too patient with me,” he muttered.
“Aye, and patience is a requirement when dating someone in the military. So I’ve been told.” She paused. “And so I’m learning.”
He claimed her mouth again, in a deep, sensual and loving kiss, before letting her go with a sigh.
“I’m going to be late if I don’t leave.”
“Go.” She gave a gentle smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”
“Have fun Saturday.”
“I will, and I’ll come over late, after the party. If you want me to.”
“You’d damn well better,” he growled. “All that fun and buildup from a bachelorette party, you’re going to want to burn it off with me.”
She laughed. “Aye, no doubt.”
“See you late Saturday night.”
“Technically Sunday morning,” she corrected, arching a brow.
“Right. Either way, you’re mine come Sunday. Be safe.”
The words still lit him up inside.
“I love you too.”
Walking out that door, knowing he wouldn’t see her for almost a week was hard. But, surprisingly, not as bad as he thought it would be. Because she’d be waiting when he got back.