Macy’s skin was warm and smooth, the feel of it strengthened by the desperation of her hold on Jax. His hearts pounded in rapid succession and his chest was tight. This was a thrill not unlike that of a coming hunt, but it was a different sort of excitement, a new heat in his blood. Her body was soft; it molded to his, melted into his embrace, and his flesh tingled where it met hers.

He desired her. There was no hiding from the fact, no denying its truth.

Kraken females had pursued him for his prowess and ability to provide, but their numbers were few, and they’d always pushed for him to change. To deny his nature. That was not what Macy sought in his arms now.

She doesn’t want to be alone.

The realization struck him hard; he understood her loneliness, related to it, because he felt it, too. Years of wandering alone crashed up him like a wave battering the shore.

Her scent — a combination of salty and sweet, with a hint of earth and stone — washed over him. He tasted it through his tentacles, smelled it through his nostrils, and it permeated him. The only barrier between them was the wet cloth she wore. His memory of how it had sculpted to her body, accenting her tantalizing curves, sparked something in his gut.

A fire burned inside of him, and it was for Macy.

It took all his will not to extrude as his arousal grew; his emotions had never been so conflicted, his desires never so misaligned. He longed to take her but needed to comfort her. Macy’s sorrow flowed into him.

The water from her eyes — her crying — was hot against his chest. Her shoulders trembled with shaky breaths, and he smoothed a tentacle over her back, rubbing gently. She tightened her hold on him.

Instinct demanded he do anything he could to make her happy; her sadness was a blade twisting inside him. But he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted. He couldn’t let her go. He knew it now, more than ever, and protecting his people was only one reason.

Jax held her until her crying subsided. By then, his hearts had slowed, but his blood hadn’t cooled. He doubted it ever would while she touched him.

Macy’s grip loosened, and one of her arms slipped away. Her palm smoothed down his shoulder to settle over the center of his chest. She curled her fingers, brushing one back and forth over his skin.

He held his breath; would she realize, soon, the way they were touching? Would she fight out of his grasp? She viewed him as her captor, and her feelings on the situation weren’t likely to have changed so suddenly.

“Do you have a family?” she asked softly.

Jax knew what family was, what it meant, but he’d never thought much about it. “I had a mother. I do not know my father’s name, or if he spawned other young.”

“Did your father leave you and your mother?”

“Leave? He was a hunter and would have served our people until his death. I likely swam with him when I was old enough to hunt.”

Her finger stilled. “So…he never knew of you?”

“Why do you sound so sad when you ask that?” Jax glanced down at her; despite the angle, her downturned lips and creased brow were clear.

“You grew up never knowing your father. Haven’t you ever wondered who he was? What it would have been like to be raised by him?”

“I was raised by all the males. That is how I learned to hunt, scavenge, and survive. If my father lived, he took part in it. I see nothing sad in that.”

“And your mother?”

“Females… They have their own matters to attend. I knew her. Our lives rarely met while she lived.”

Macy raised her head and looked up at him. The whites of her eyes had reddened, making her irises brighter in comparison. “I don’t understand. She didn’t raise you? Only the…males? Did you have a home?”

“I remained with her until I could be taught by the hunters. Then, I sheltered in various dens until I was old enough to claim my own. How are human children raised, if our ways are so strange to you?”

“By our mother and father, in one home. We stay until we’re joined…and, a lot of times, even after.”

Jax couldn’t imagine three or four kraken sharing a den; they’d tear one another apart after a few days.

“What do you mean by joined? Join a hunt, or…do you mean mated?”

Macy’s cheeks darkened. She dropped her eyes and pulled her hand away from his chest as though it burned. “Would you… Put me down, please.”

He frowned; she felt so good against him, fit so perfectly. Water sloshed around him as he swam back to the island. Reluctantly, he lowered her onto the ground and released his hold, the tip of a tentacle lingering briefly on at her back.

“Thank you.” She stepped back and tugged the fabric of her covering, pulling it down so it didn’t cling to her body, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“It is the same as mating?” he asked.

“No. I mean…it’s not just sex. When two humans decide they want to join, it usually means…forever. Until one of them dies.”

“Why make such a bond?”

“Why wouldn’t we? If you love someone, and can’t stand the thought of being apart from them…” She paused; her expression became drawn, and when she spoke again, there was sadness in her voice. “Why wouldn’t you join your life with theirs? Why not build a home together, a family?”

It was a concept wholly alien compared to ways of the kraken. Mating had little to do with emotion; the kraken needed to reproduce to survive, and the females would choose the males they thought most likely to father strong children.

His thoughts turned to Macy’s loneliness — to his own loneliness. To the man on the beach, calling Macy’s name.

“I saw a male on the beach yesterday. He was in your boat, calling for you. Are you joined with him?” His chest burned at the thought of her with another male; the feeling was both unfamiliar and startling in its intensity.

Macy met his gaze. She took a step closer, eyes wide and full of hope. “He’s alive? You saw Camrin?”

Her expression strengthened the flaring emotion inside Jax. He remembered the terms for what he felt — possessiveness. Jealousy. He’d never cared about what other kraken had, never felt hurt when females left him for another male. But Macy being mated to Camrin was too much to bear.

And he had to know for sure.

“Are you joined with him?” he repeated.

The light in her eyes dimmed, and she looked away. For a moment, she was silent, staring aside with a deep frown.

“Macy—”

“We were on our way to join.”

Jax clenched his fists, and his entire body tensed. Beneath the water, his tentacles thrashed restlessly. “Until the storm. Until me.”

She looked at him. “Yes.”

Everything inside him halted, and searing heat flooded his veins. Jax had saved her life and taken it in the same action. He’d caused her sorrow, and he was the reason it continued. But he would not relent, could not; she was his, now, just as much as any of the objects he’d found in the sea and brought to this place.

Macy dropped her gaze, fingers restless along the bottom of her covering. “Everyone knew he was going to ask. I knew, too. My mom and dad were hoping for it. We’ve been friends for so long, and he’s always cared about me… He never kept that a secret. He waited, gave me plenty of time, but I think he knew he had to be the one to make the move because I…just couldn’t.”

Jax eased slightly, unclenching his fists.

“He wanted it to be a surprise, so he was taking me somewhere special. A place we could join, become husband and wife, without anyone else around. And I was going to.” Her lip quivered, and a sheen of water filled her eyes. “It was wrong. I should have told him, years ago. He deserved to know. But I felt so guilty, and I didn’t want to break his heart. I thought my feelings would change, that I would grow to love him. I mean…I do love him. As a friend. A brother.”

The water fell from her eyes as she met Jax’s gaze. “I would’ve gone through with it and lived a lie. Now, he probably thinks I’m dead, and…and I… I never told him.”

He considered her words, thrusting aside his own roiling emotions. She was not joined with Camrin. Jax had prevented that from happening when he rescued her.

“Isn’t that better for him?” His voice was cold, even to himself, but it was the only way to keep some distance between them. The only way to fight the urge to take her into another soothing embrace.

He guessed she wouldn’t be so accepting of his touch, now.

Macy flinched. “I…don’t know. I know what it’s like to hold onto something and not let it go. You just…stop living.”

Though he didn’t want to talk about her almost-mate anymore, Jax sensed that Macy needed to. She needed to sort through her feelings.

“You think he will hold on to you that way…and you feel guilt for it?” he asked.

She nodded.

“You are not responsible for what he does with himself, Macy.”

“I will be responsible for his guilt, though. If I’d told him sooner, told him no, we would never have gotten on that boat. If I had told him years ago, he’d probably already have a family of his own by now. But I didn’t. I was too scared, and he’d always been so kind, and after all this time, I felt like…I owed him. And now…now he’ll blame himself for my death.

“If you’d just take me ho—”

He raised a hand, and she snapped her mouth shut.

“There is a rule my people follow; hunters eat first. Do you know why?”

She swallowed and brushed the moisture off her cheeks. “Because without the hunters, there would be no food.”

“Yes.” Something new flared within him — pride. There were fully grown kraken who still didn’t seem to understand the rule. “You have not been feeding yourself, Macy.”

Her brow lowered. “I-I don’t understand.”

Jax brought his fists to his chest and swept them outward, throwing his fingers open. “You give of yourself. To your people, to your parents, to Camrin. You worry for them; you concern yourself with how they will feel. You speak as though you only worked to accomplish what they expected.”

She turned her face away.

He pulled himself up onto the island and approached her. “Look at me, Macy.”

Swallowing again, she obeyed, her lips pressed into a tight line.

“What have you done for yourself? If you do not feed yourself, you will not have anything to give to the others. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Her response sounded forced.

“If I followed the wishes of some of the kraken, my every moment would be spent obtaining food for them. Even some who are capable of hunting for themselves. I would never be able to explore, would never enjoy new places, because there would be nothing left for me. That is like dying inside.

“Let your people think you died in the storm. You already let them kill you within.”

A crease appeared between her brows, and she stood in silence for a time.

“And you?” Macy finally asked, looking at him.

“What of me?”

“How much do you intend to take? I’m your damned prisoner here; it’s not like I have a choice in…feeding myself, or whatever you want to call it. I can’t explore and enjoy new places. I’m trapped here.”

Jax’s nostrils flared; there was still sorrow in her tone, but it was reinforced by an undercurrent of anger. She was right. How could he speak to her of such things when he was the obstacle preventing her from controlling her own life?

I’m trapped here.

Those words echoed in his mind, resonated to his core. He understood her pain — he’d felt it himself, time after time. Since he’d come of age and claimed his den, he had spent his time running from that feeling, seeking his own life, his own places.

He’d told her many times that he’d not risk his people’s safety by letting her return to her home, and he nearly said it again. He clenched his jaw to keep the words from escaping; they’d begun to sound hollow, even to him.