CHAPTER 7
WYNN GOT JOSH inside the door, pulled him around the corner and flattened him against the wall. “I’m so glad you dropped in.”
Josh, looking startled, said, “Uh,” and clasped her upper arms to keep her from getting any closer. “Yeah, see, I sorta thought…well…” He looked around and to Wynn, he appeared hunted.
It took her a second to figure out what bothered him, and then she laughed. Men could be such big frauds!
“Look, Wynn…” He inched her a little farther away from him, while keeping his own body plastered to the wall. “Do you think it’s safe to leave them all alone out there? I sensed some hostilities going on when I arrived.”
“That’s why you started defending Zack?”
“Hey, he’s a friend. Besides, it’s true. He can take care of himself. You know that, right?”
She shrugged, then daringly pressed closer, just to watch him squirm.
“The thing is,” he blurted, looking all around again as if he expected someone to jump him at any second, “I thought you had a thing for Zack.”
Wynn smoothed her hand over his very solid, very large shoulder and whispered, “I do.”
“Because I’m not at all sure—” He did a double take. “You do?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She looked him in the eyes, licked her lips, and continued, “That’s why I dragged you in here.” She patted his cheek and added, “To find out more about Zack.”
“Oh. Oh!” Josh laughed and his confidence returned in his quirky smile and the way his shoulders relaxed. “Good. That’s real good. Just what I wanted to hear.”
“But Zack doesn’t like me much.”
“I think he likes you too much. That’s the problem, at least as far as he’s concerned.” She stepped back and together they headed toward the kitchen. “Personally, I think you’re perfect for him.”
Wynn had never in her life been described as perfect. Her father harped on and on about her imperfect hair, and her mother harped about her lack of femininity and her brother drove her crazy telling her she was too aggressive while constantly challenging her. It was a rather nice compliment to hear. “No kidding?”
“Hell yeah.” He pulled out a chair for her. “Look at you! You’re attractive and healthy—being a paramedic, and having lost his first wife, Zack is big on health.”
Wynn blinked at that sentiment.
“You’re also fun and funny and you seem to like Dani.” He frowned. “That’s a must you know, that you like his daughter. And you can’t fake that because plenty of women have tried and he’s always seen through them.”
Wynn fell speechless at such a wealth of verbal outpourings. She hadn’t had to ask a single question!
He looked a little worried at her continued silence. “You do like Dani, don’t you?”
Unwilling to lose this golden opportunity, she gathered her wits. “Of course. She’s adorable. Smart, precocious, bold.” She shrugged. “Beautiful like her dad.”
Josh grinned. “Zack is beautiful, huh? What a hoot.”
Wynn realized exactly what she’d said and blushed. “Don’t you dare say anything to him.”
“Oh, no, no, of course not.”
Wynn didn’t believe him for a second. “Josh…”
“Do you really have something to eat?”
One thing about men, you could always count on them wanting food—especially the big ones. Josh obviously spent his fair share of time in the gym pumping iron. His physique and looks were so impressive, he could have posed for a centerfold. “Sure. Help yourself.”
He laughed at that. “So your muscle-bound friends were right, huh? You don’t cater to men?”
Actually, she’d been so preoccupied formulating all her questions, she’d forgotten all about her manners. “Sorry.” She stood. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
Josh immediately pressed her back into her seat and then patted her shoulder. “Hey, you’ve been working all day and I’m a big boy, I can feed myself. It was just an observation.”
Propping her head on both hands, she groaned. “This is awful. It’s been so long since I dated, or since I tried to attract a guy, I’m going about it all wrong.”
She heard the cabinets open. “You trying to attract Zack?”
“Without much success.”
“Not true.” The refrigerator opened and Wynn watched through her fingers as Josh poured out a glass of juice and hauled out sandwich fixings. She’d have to remember to stock up on more lunch meat now that she had her own home and had such big men living nearby and visiting.
Taking his own seat, Josh said, “Zack has noticed you big time. He’s just in denial.”
“You think?”
“I know.” He piled enough meat on his sandwich to make a meal. “Zack hasn’t acted this upside down about a woman since his wife.”
Wynn wondered how to broach that subject, then decided against trying to dredge up tact she didn’t have. It was pointless. She said simply, “Will you tell me about her?”
Josh popped a whole slice of bologna into his mouth and nodded. “Young, beautiful. Very sweet and very petite.” He eyed Wynn. “Nothing like you, expect maybe the beautiful part.”
Heat rushed into her face. Josh was such an outrageous flatterer! She decided the best thing to do was ignore it. “I’m only twenty-eight. Not exactly old myself.”
“Ancient compared to Rebecca.”
So, Zack was attracted to young, petite women? Just what she didn’t want to hear. “That was her name? Rebecca?”
“Yep. She would have turned twenty-one a month after having Dani if she hadn’t died.”
Very young. Though Wynn didn’t know the woman, it hurt her to think of it. Dani and Zack had lost so much. She rubbed her forehead. “How long had they been married?”
“Only about seven months. The pregnancy was a surprise, and the reason for the marriage. Once Zack found out, he insisted, and Rebecca gave in. I’m not sure it’s what either of them really wanted at the time.”
Wynn did some math in her head and decided Zack was around twenty-five or so when he’d married, not much older than that when he became a father. Wynn swallowed hard. “How did she die?”
Josh laid the food aside and leaned back in his chair. He looked past Wynn, and he appeared more somber than she’d thought possible. “Rebecca had a hard time with the pregnancy. She was so small that it put a hell of a strain on her body. Her ankles swelled, her back hurt, her…well, you get the idea.”
“Yes.”
“She wasn’t at all happy about the physical changes, so her emotional state of mind wasn’t the best, either. She wanted Dani, no doubt about that, but she was pretty damn miserable those last few months. Physically and emotionally.”
“I think that’s pretty common, isn’t it?”
Josh shrugged. “I suppose, what with hormone changes and all that.” Then he shook his head. “Zack and I were both at a huge warehouse fire when she went into labor five weeks early. She called the station, and they immediately went to work on getting someone to replace Zack, but the destruction was huge and they were running short on manpower. Damn near everyone had already been called into service. Zack was working his ass off, dealing with a dozen different traumas, worried and anxious and madder than hell because he couldn’t just leave. Leaving would have been a firing offense, though, which might not have stopped him except that he would never deliberately walk away from seriously injured people. And that’s what he would have had to do. He thought Rebecca was okay, that she’d made it to the hospital and they were taking care of her…”
“But?”
Josh got up from the table. Like Zack’s house, she had a window right over her sink, and that’s where he went. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and stared out at the yard. “The contractions came too fast and she couldn’t drive. She lost control of the car and it went off the road, flipping into a ditch. She took two other cars with her, but no one else was seriously hurt. By the time she was airlifted to the hospital, she’d died. They managed to save Dani.”
Wynn nearly strangled on her own emotion. Her throat felt tight, her stomach ached and her heart beat painfully. She could only imagine what Zack had gone through.
“He’s usually a rock,” Josh said quietly. “Nothing rattles him. He’s always calm and polite and reasonable. Always.”
She looked up. Zack was calm and reasonable? Well, yes, he could be, she supposed. But he could also be forceful and outrageous and around her, he was seldom calm.
“That was the closest I’ve ever seen him come to losing it.” Josh turned to face her. “That bullet wound he’s got? Well, he knew he’d get shot when he went after that woman. I don’t mean that he thought the odds would be good, I mean that he knew some of the rioters were firing at her, determined not to let her be saved, just to prove some fanatical point. Zack put himself between her and those bullets. He willingly risked his life for a person he didn’t know from Adam. That’s just how he is. He can’t bear to see anyone hurt.”
He drew a breath, then finished. “You can imagine what it did to him that he wasn’t there for Rebecca.”
“He blamed himself?”
“Yeah, he did. For a while. Then Dani got to him. For almost two weeks she was a perfect baby. Cooing when she was hungry, sleeping sound, and then bam, right out of the blue she became a tiny demon.” Josh laughed. “Man, she put Zack through hell. He’d come in off a long shift and the sitter would say that Dani had slept and had been happy. Then she’d hear Zack and start making demands. When he was around, she wanted him to hold her. She wouldn’t let him give her only half his attention.”
Wynn considered all that. “You’re saying he ignored her at first?”
“Hell, no. He made sure she was taken care of and he kissed her goodbye and hugged her hello, but he wasn’t yet attached to her. He felt a responsibility for her, but he had so much grief, so much remorse, there wasn’t much room for anything else, much less love. Till Dani took over.”
“He’s a good father.”
“He’s a great father. The absolute best. And he’d make a helluva husband, too.”
Wynn was just digesting that not so subtle hint when Zack growled from the doorway, “I appreciate the accolades, Josh, but you’re way out of line.”
Josh said, “Uh, you didn’t leave any dead bodies outside, did you?”
“Knock it off.” He walked farther into the room. “You know I’m a pacifist.”
“Right. Whatever you say.” He skirted around Zack with theatrical fanfare, and said, “I think I’ll talk to your friends, Wynn. They seem like very nice fellows.”
The screen door fell shut a second later. Wynn slowly came to her feet to face Zack. “Nice fellows,” he mimicked. “They seemed like possessive, jealous fellows to me.”
“Protective, not possessive. I told you I haven’t dated any of them.”
“Did you? I don’t seem to recall that conversation.”
She cleared her throat. “Everything okay outside?”
He advanced on her, his gaze locked on hers. “If you mean has everyone played nice, yes. But your bully boys gave me the third degree.”
“They didn’t!” Dismay filled her. How could she make a good impression on a man like Zack if Bo kept behaving like an ass?
“They did.”
As he reached her, she stepped behind her chair. She wasn’t afraid of Zack, but she didn’t understand his mood either. He seemed on edge, yet also sort of…accepting. But accepting of what? Something was definitely different, of that she was certain. “I’m sorry.”
“They seem to think you have your ‘sights set on me,’ as they put it.”
Oh God, oh God, oh God… She just knew her face was flaming. She only had one brother, and he was enough to contend with without his friends trying to take over the role, too. Hoping to excuse their bizarre behavior, she said, “I, ah, don’t show a lot of interest in the opposite sex.”
Zack cocked a brow. “What are you telling me? Males don’t interest you?”
“No! That is, I meant that I don’t show a lot of interest in any sex.”
One side of Zack’s mouth curled in an amused, mocking smile.
She bit her tongue, then took two long breaths. “I mean,” she stated, “that I don’t usually chase a guy. I’ve got friends, and that’s it.” And so she didn’t sound pathetic, she added, “That’s as much as I want.”
His voice was oddly gentle when he quipped, “Glad to hear it.”
He was now so close she felt his breath when he spoke. Just two inches and she could be kissing him again. She considered it, but held back because she didn’t know if he’d be receptive to the idea. So far he’d acted really put out over their mutual attraction—even to the point of denying it was mutual.
Which, she realized, meant he was so close because he wanted to intimidate her. She frowned. “That was before meeting you, Zack. I want you. I haven’t made a secret of that. But you should understand that what happened in the yard the other day was an aberration for me, too. I don’t regret it, but no way has it ever happened before.”
His mouth twisted, and she got the awful suspicion he didn’t believe her.
Wynn lost her temper. “Just because I have big male friends—”
He rolled his eyes.
“—and I got carried away with you—”
“We both got carried away.”
She completely missed his confession in the middle of her tirade. “—doesn’t give you the right to assume I’m free with all men.”
“It also doesn’t give you the right to go snooping around in my private business. If you wanted to know about my wife, you should have asked me.”
Her chin lifted so she could look down her nose at him. “Would you have told me anything?”
“No.” Before she could finish her full-fledged huff, he added, “Because it’s none of your business.”
Wynn threw up her hands. “There, you see? Talking to you is pointless!” She realized she wasn’t helping her case any, but really, what could she do? She couldn’t change herself; she wouldn’t even know where to begin. She let out a sigh and dropped her head. “Actually,” she muttered, “I guess all of this is pointless, huh?”
Zack drew himself up. “What does that mean?”
“It means I’m beginning to accept that you’re one hundred percent not interested.” She lifted her shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “I did hear all about your wife, and I know now that you’re more attracted to petite women.” She even snorted at herself in self-disgust. “God, I’m so far from petite it’s laughable.”
“Wynn.” He said her name like a scold.
She held out her arms. “I’m a great big lummox of a girl and I know it. I’m not cute or petite or any of those nice things. You like little weak women who you can protect, and I don’t need protection. I’m not even weaker than you.”
His expression bemused, he rumbled, “Uh, actually you are. A lot weaker, damn it.”
But she barely listened to him now. She was too upset with the realization that Zack would likely never want to be involved with her. “I’m all wrong for you.”
She paced around her kitchen, for the first time unmindful of the fine cherry cabinets and her new stainless steel sink and her side-by-side refrigerator, which just yesterday she’d kept touching because she loved it so much. Even the pleasure of getting her patio set up was now ruined.
Dejected, she turned to face him and said, “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve been a total pain in the butt.”
“Yeah.”
Though he said it gently, her shoulders slumped.
Then Zack stepped closer and he cupped her face carefully in his two hands and he said almost against her lips, “You are a pain in the neck, Wynn, and a pain in the ass and everywhere else. But you know why.” And with a small laugh, “What bullshit, to say I’m not attracted to you.”
She blinked at him, so startled she almost toppled over.
He shook his head. “You’re not blind and you sure as hell aren’t stupid. You know I want you.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
He briefly kissed her, but it was enough to make her breathless. “Even now,” she questioned, “with us standing here in my kitchen and everyone else right outside? Even though I haven’t just jumped you and dragged you to the ground?”
“Is that what you thought?” A sexy smile played with his mouth, making her heart punch. “That just because you took me by surprise and actually got me flat on my back was the only reason I acted as I did last week?”
Ignoring the part about taking him by surprise, Wynn nodded. The how and why of their interlude last week wasn’t important. Not when right now, all she really, really wanted was for him to kiss her again. But he just kept staring at her mouth while his big rough thumbs stroked her cheeks and that was so nice, too, she held still and didn’t dare complain or ask for more.
“Wynn, you did just take me by surprise, you know that don’t you? You’re strong, honey, but there’s no way in hell you’d best me in a physical confrontation.”
“Okay.”
He laughed, a low husky sound, and shook his head. “You’re placating me.” And he kissed her again. “You’re something else, you know that? I’ve never met a woman who wanted a man, yet continued to insult his manhood with every other breath.”
“Your, ah, manhood?” Her gaze skipped down his body to his lap. He lifted her chin, keeping her from that erotic perusal while making a “tsking” sound.
“My machismo,” he explained, “my masculinity.” He tipped her face up and kissed her throat, the soft spot beneath her ear.
Wynn’s toes curled inside her gym shoes.
“One of these days,” he added while licking her ear and driving her insane, “I’m going to prove it to you.”
“Yes.” She had no idea what he wanted to prove, but whatever it might be, she was all for it.
His laugh was a little more robust this time. He looked at her, studied her dazed eyes and nodded. “All right. So, the challenge is made. What am I to do? I’m just a man after all, and I can only take so much without caving in.”
He said all that with a wicked smile.
She said, “What?”
“Will you be at your hammock tonight?”
That caught her attention. Hope and excitement flared inside her. “Yes. Sure, of course.”
“So anxious.” He grinned and kissed her bottom lip. “I know this is wrong, I swear I do. But damn I want you. You’re making me nuts, woman.”
His machismo sounded just fine to her attuned ears. She smiled dreamily. “You’re making me nuts, too. I tried to leave you alone, to let you get used to the idea of me…”
“Ha!” Shaking his head, smiling, Zack said, “That’d take a lifetime.”
She liked the sound of that. A lifetime with Zack. With each day, with every damn minute, she was more attracted to him, in a million different ways.
Seeing her expression, his hands gentled and he waggled her head. “Wynn, I’m not making any promises about anything. If we meet tonight, it’s strictly for sex.”
Her hopes plummeted, but the excitement was still there. She bit her lip, undecided what to do. On the one hand, she’d never been one for casual sex.
But on the other, she’d never wanted a man like she wanted Zack.
And then suddenly there was a shrill yell from the yard and Zack moved with a blur of speed. He was outside before Wynn could catch her breath. Recognizing Dani’s squeaky little voice, now filled with sobs, she quickly followed.
They found Dani held in Josh’s arm, screaming her heart out. Josh, a study of frantic concern, blurted, “She got stung by a bee!”
Bo and Marc and Clint stood in a circle around Josh, wringing their hands and fretting like old women. The sight would have been laughable if it hadn’t been for the fat tears streaming down Dani’s cheeks.
Zack took Dani and cradled her close to his chest. “Shh, honey, it’s okay.”
Josh lifted her foot and peered at it. “The stinger is out,” he said, and his voice shook.
It amused Wynn that five large overgrown men would quake at a child’s cry. Good grief, their panic would feed her own and the whole yard would soon be bawling.
“Is she allergic to stings?” Wynn asked, and both Zack and Josh said, “No.”
She walked up to Dani and touched her tiny foot. In soft, soothing tones, she said, “If you think you’re hurt, just think how the poor bee feels.” She began steering Zack toward the patio. He hugged Dani so close she could barely get her head off his shoulder.
“I don’t care about the dumb bee,” Dani said, and hiccuped over her tears.
“That’s good,” Wynn told her, “because he’s a goner now. Once they sting someone, that’s all she wrote.”
Dani looked mollified by that notion. “Really?”
“Yep. They can’t grow a stinger back, and what good is a bee without a stinger? Zack, sit down here with her and I’ll turn on the hose. The cold water will make it feel better.” And to Dani, “You feel like soaking those little pink toes?”
Dani smiled and nodded, but her bottom lip still quivered.
Zack sat, rocking his daughter in his arms.
Wynn shook her head and fetched the hose. After about half a minute of freezing cold water running over her tiny foot, Dani struggled to sit up. She took one look at Zack, and patted his chest. “I’m ’kay.”
He hugged her close, half-laughing, but still shaken. He also kissed her foot, then had to move so Josh could kiss it, too. Dani accepted the healing kisses as her due.
Zack kissed her one more time, then asked, “Dani, why did you have your shoes off?”
Evidently, this was something forbidden, for Dani summoned a pathetic, apologetic look, and then pointed at Bo. “I was tryin’ on his shoes.”
Bo took an appalled step back and his entire face darkened with guilt. “My shoes!”
“They’re so big,” Dani explained, looking down at her lap and giving another little sob. “Even bigger than Daddy’s.”
Everyone looked at Zack’s feet. He muttered, “Size twelve.”
Bo, still flushed with guilt, shrugged. “Thirteens,” he admitted. “She’s right, they are bigger.”
Wynn had been stationed by the hose, watching the byplay, the way everyone looked from Zack’s feet to Bo’s and then to Dani’s, doing some sort of bizarre comparison.
Her emotions had been on a roller-coaster ride since meeting Zack, keeping her on edge. Now the idea of a bunch of gargantuan men comparing foot sizes with a child who was so petite she barely reached any of their knees, just struck Wynn funny. She burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. When everyone stared toward her, she laughed even harder.
On the edge of embarrassment, no doubt afraid he was the object of hilarity, Bo chuckled, too. Of course, that made Clint and Marc laugh. Dani finally started to giggle, drawn to the sound of the hilarity, though likely her humor wasn’t for the same reasons. And with laughter being so contagious, within minutes everyone roared. Dani bounced on Zack’s lap, her sting totally forgotten.
Watching Zack laugh was a special delight. Wynn had the feeling he didn’t often give in to great displays of any kind of outward emotion. He wasn’t, according to Josh, a man who lost his temper or his control.
Yet, with her he’d gone from one extreme to another. Surely, that counted for something. What, she didn’t know, but perhaps she’d find out tonight.
Now that she’d made up her mind, she could hardly wait.