CHAPTER 31
G aetan trudged along the stream bank. The tip of his cane slid into the soft soil, mirroring the imaginary dagger plunging into his heart. With each footstep and tap of his cane, the pain worsened. Moonlight filtered between the forest’s thick blanket of trees, casting shadows and reminding him of the Gossum’s attack on Nicole.
He could never forgive himself for transforming her into a Dren. If he hadn’t drawn the Gossum’s attention to her, she would’ve resumed her life as a human. She hadn’t asked to become part of his world, and he’d done it, knowing he’d brought her into a terrible war with an uncertain outcome. He took a deep, pained breath and continued on the path.
His goal remained the same—find Anlon. A burning sensation started in his chest, radiating down his arms until his fingers tingled. The unbreakable vow he’d given Noeh to watch after Anlon urged him onward, one foot in front of the other.
In this, he would not fail, even if it ended in his death. He would save the prince or bring down Mauree. A chill crawled down his back. What if she doesn’t have him? What if he’s lost in this strange world? He didn’t know which was worse.
The urge to take a pill sent a shiver over his shoulders.
“I have faith in you, Gaetan.” An image of Nicole flashed through his mind. Her moist eyes, full of encouragement and love, hadn’t wavered. They’d made love in the cave, completing the bonding, binding them together.
He tugged the satchel from his pocket and gripped it in his palm. His hand shook. I’m not worthy…
With trembling fingers, he opened the pouch. White pills reflected the moon’s glow, enticing him, calling to him on a level he couldn’t refuse. His mouth watered.
“Take them from me, please.” His words echoed in his mind, replaying the scene in the cave.
His gaze drifted to the stream. Water rushed over rocks and swirled in small pools.
“No, Gaetan. This is something you have to do on your own. Toss them into the water if you must, but I can’t do it for you.” Nicole had believed in him.
Too bad he didn’t believe in himself.
He clenched his fist around his satchel, the tendons in his hands straining. His marking, the one for responsibility, burned on the back of his hand, darkening. He pulled on the strength deep in his soul and shoved the satchel into his pocket.
“No, I won’t give in. I won’t.” As much as he’d wanted to toss the pills into the stream and rid himself of his addiction, he wasn’t able to let go, but at least he’d resisted the urge to pop one into his mouth. He’d take the small victory.
A relieved breath eased from his lips. He wasn’t healed, not by a long shot, but he’d taken the first step, and that was the hardest one. “I’ll beat this addiction yet, Nicole, I promise.”
That is, if he survived.
A crick in Nikki’s neck brought her awake with a start. She inhaled, and the scent of aged paper and ink filtered into her nose. Face smashed into the old tome, she groaned and raised her head. Heat from her stretched tendon burned along her neck. With gentle pressure, she rubbed at the spot, easing some of the ache.
“I must’ve fallen asleep.” She blinked and glanced around the small cave. The sunstones lining the walls glowed, filling the room with an eerie light. Situated in the corner, the bed’s rumbled sheet reminded her of Gaetan and their time together.
An ache built in her chest, tightening around her heart. She missed him—the tug of his smile, the golden swirls in his aquamarine eyes, his gentle nature. No male had ever treated her so kindly. Yet, like her father, he couldn’t give up his addiction, and she’d forced him to leave, kicking him out without a second thought.
Gaetan’s not like Father. He’s caring, gentle.
She shoved away from the table and stood. The chair crashed against the stone floor, the sound booming through the room. After Gaetan had left, she’d needed a few moments to calm down, and she’d sat in the chair crying herself into exhaustion. She must have fallen asleep.
The bracelet on her wrist caught the light, reflecting little pinpricks of luminescence onto the ceiling, like stars. “Where are you, Gaetan?”
“I’m the reason the Gossum attacked you. The pain in my leg flared, and I knocked my cane against my knee. That’s why the Gossum turned to investigate, but instead of attacking me, the damned thing assaulted you. If it hadn’t been for me, you’d be home, living your life. What I’ve done to you is unforgivable.” His words beat against her temple.
“I’m glad you did.” She rubbed the marks on her hand that mirrored Gaetan’s. While at the Keep she’d met so many wonderful people, others who seemed to care about her, wanted to be with her, and trusted her. Those people had something to live for and appeared to love each other with a passion she’d only ever dreamed of, that is, until she’d met Gaetan and discovered that kind of love for herself.
He’d shown her with his caring touch and his gentle words what she’d meant to him. From what she’d seen and gathered from others in the Keep, he took care of everyone else, but never himself.
She strode to the bed and drew her fingers over the cool sheet until she gripped the pillow. After tugging the soft down close, she buried her nose in the silky material. The spicy scent of tarragon filtered into her senses. Regret tightened her stomach into a ball, clawing at her insides. “I shouldn’t have forced him to leave.”
She’d sent Gaetan away out of fear. Bitterness coated the back of her throat.
Although he had his own demons to conquer, he had a goal to find Anlon, and she’d be there by his side when he did. After that, they could tackle his addiction together. Tightening her fist, she tossed the pillow onto the bed and strode to the small pool of water at the cave’s entrance. Using her love for Gaetan and her new resolve, she concentrated on her raw emotions and swirled her hands over the water.
Faster than ever before, the water bubbled and churned, opening the tunnel in a blink of an eye. Using the blood bond between them, she homed in on his location then bolted through the hole and into the night. “I’m on my way, Gaetan.” She’d never forgive herself if something happened to him.