came like a dash of cold water.
He cocked his head, staring down at me in open fascination. “You love me.”
His reaction absolutely gutted me.
“I don’t. This is a mistake.” I pushed at his heavy shoulders, desperate to put distance between us.
Marlon narrowed his eyes at my answer.
He sat back and braced his elbows on his raised knees, watching me closely like he was trying to figure me out.
“You’re lying,” he said simply.
“I’m not.” I sat up too, hugging my knees to my chest. The blood had leeched from my face, and my hands were trembling slightly. I tightened them around my legs to hide it.
What had I expected?
That Marlon would kiss me and realise that he had always loved me as well?
Because he didn’t. I recognized the look on his face. It was the same one he had when he was gearing up for a challenge.
I was no longer his best friend. Now I was just a woman to him, another body to conquer and screw and kick out his bed when he was done, like he did with all the rest. He would chew me up and spit me out, and then he’d expect that we would go back to being best friends once more.
I couldn’t do it. It would break me.
So I drew a breath. I smiled like I did every time I felt my heart shattering. “It was just a kiss, don’t get so worked up.”
Marlon didn’t smile back. The moonlight streaming in from the sunroof illuminated his wintry expression.
“I may play around with you, Emmaline,” he said in a dangerously soft voice, “but don’t take me for a fool. I know you’re lying to me. What I want to know is why.”
I shrugged, turning back to my laptop to hide my stinging nose and eyes. “You head back first. I still have work to do. I’ll see you at home.”
Marlon said nothing for a long moment, and I knew without looking that he was watching me, trying to figure out what I was thinking.
But he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. I’d spent years masking my emotions.
“Okay,” he said curtly. He snagged his shirt from the floor of the van and yanked it on. “Don’t bother waiting up. I’ll be with the girls at Palais.”
No.
His words stopped my heart cold.
He’d kissed me, he’d taken my first kiss, and here he was going to his fuck buddies right after?
The van door slid open as Marlon got out, then it slammed shut.
Empty silence surrounded me. I was alone again.
I stared blankly at the laptop in front of me for long minutes, seeing nothing but blurry words swimming on the screen. I tried blinking away the heat pricking my eyes. I tried taking slow, steadying breaths, counting backwards from one hundred.
It didn’t work. It never did.
I buried my face in my arms and bit down on my lips so hard they bled. The hot tears began to slide down my cheeks, and my lungs gulped in air painfully.
But even as my body shook from my crying, I never made a single sound.
***
Dance music pounded through the surround sound system in my VIP room, the same song that the live DJ was playing at the main dance floor downstairs.
Three of the four girls keeping me company danced together on the platform stage. One of them worked the pole, wearing a mini dress that hugged her tits and ass so tightly that her flesh curved over the hems. The other two were topless and grinding on each other, putting on a show for me.
The last girl sat on my lap kissing my neck, wearing a tiny mesh dress with strategic patterns that barely covered her nipples and her pussy.
Club Palais was the central hub around which all my activities revolved. It didn’t matter if you were a CEO or a nobody, everyone was equal here. It was my palace, a place I built that always put me in a good mood.
The only reason why it couldn’t now was Emmaline.
I threw back another shot and slammed the glass down on the table.
Freida tightened her arms around my neck and ground herself deeper in my lap. She was a stunning woman, all breasts and ass, red lips and thick dark hair. Her smile was seductive as she scraped her long nails down my bare chest.
“Someone’s in a bad mood today,” she purred. “It’s funny, because here,” she rubbed her ass over my hard erection, “you’re very, very happy.”
I appreciated her effort, but couldn’t lie. “It’s not for you.”
Freida stilled. “Oh. Then who, the new girl?” She looked across the room at the topless redhead who was bouncing on the pole and giving me a flirty finger wave. “You were spending time with her on Thursday. Want her to come over?”
“No, it’s not any of you. Just—” I picked Freida up from my lap and transferred her to the seat beside me. “I’m here to talk.”
“About what?” Freida deftly switched to Portuguese so the other girls couldn’t understand.
I rapped the empty shot glass on the table, feeling distracted even with the loud music and the alcohol on my brain.
“It’s Emmaline,” I finally exhaled.
Emma had been pale when I left her earlier, but I knew she wasn’t going to say another word when she decided to shut down like that. The only person I could talk to about her was Freida, one of the girls at the club, and a good friend of mine based on our love for our country, and for sex.
Freida pulled her dark hair over her shoulder and sat back in the sofa. “Emmaline Brown? What about her?”
“She’s in love with me.”
Thick false eyelashes fanned up and down on Freida’s cheeks. “She loves you?” she repeated blankly. “She told you?”
“No, but I know what I saw. Emma is in love with me, and she has been for years.”
“Oh.” Freida frowned. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Of course not,” I said immediately.
It was surprising, yes. Shocking, even.
But finding out that my best friend was in love with me was like stepping back from a painting to see that it was part of a larger canvas.
I had even been excited when I knew—until Emma turned into a stone wall and shut me out.
“The problem is that she is denying it.” I tapped the glass on the table again. ”We messed around, and afterwards she just gave me this fake smile and acted like it meant nothing.” My jaw tightened. “I just don’t fucking know why.”
Freida exhaled, twirling her hair around a red-tipped finger. “I have bad news for you, friend. You do realize what you’ve been doing for years?”
“What?”
“Marlon, she has seen you with countless women! You fool around with them in front of her, and you bring them back to your place when she’s around. Of course she doesn’t want to be treated that way.”
I frowned, uncertain for the first time that night. “It was just sex, it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Not to a woman who loves you. It would have made her very unhappy.” Freida gave me a frank stare. “Let me put it this way. Loving you is the worst thing a woman can do. And I’m speaking from experience.”
My gaze narrowed in warning. “Just because I didn’t return your feelings those years ago doesn’t make that statement true.”
“You’ve never loved anyone back, Marlon, that’s the problem. You think you do, but you don’t even know the meaning of that word.”
“I could,” I said simply. “I could, with Emma.”
Freida stared at me. “You want to use her to learn how to love?”
“I want to learn to love her,” I corrected.
Freida was speechless at that, but I had never been more serious about anything or anyone as I was towards Emma at that moment.
“Her beliefs and yours are not compatible,” Freida finally said. “She will not want to share you.”
I shrugged. “I won’t want to share her either, so it’s fair.”
“Are you even listening to yourself? You’re polygamous. She’s not. It won’t work!”
“I don’t live by a label, Freida. When I want multiple girls, I’ll have multiple girls. Now I want Emma, and I want her to want me only. What’s so hard to understand?”
Freida shook her head. “This is going too fast.”
“We’ve been together for six years. I’m only surprised this topic didn’t come up sooner.”
And now that it was out in the open, I didn’t want to hide from it. I could never go back to being just friends with Emma, not after that kiss we shared.
“What are you planning to do with her?” Freida narrowed her eyes at me. “How long will you play at this monogamy game?”
“I don’t know,” I said simply. “All I know is that her heart belongs to me, and her body wants me. We’ll see where it takes us.”
Freida looked unhappy as she drained her third glass. “You’re going to hurt her. It’s just what you do.”
Maybe.
But I also knew that Emma was strong and fierce. She was the only person in the world who had seen every side of me, good and ugly, and stayed.
That beautiful and feisty woman, my best friend and partner, loved me.
Fuck the risks. I wasn’t going to let that slip through my fingers.