~ Jorie ~

On his way out, Nash told me not to clean up, but I did anyway then spent a few hours in the office, trying to organize the mess into working piles. When I headed home, my head throbbed and Gran was in the kitchen.

“You were gone awhile,” Gran said when I came in.

“Yeah. Nash’s office… Oh my gosh, Gran. You would not believe that disaster. The place is successful and I don’t know how.”

“Boy works like a fiend day and night. So you took the job over at the Lazy D, yeah?”

“I’m helping them out for a while, since apparently you don’t need me here all the time.” Maybe, it would be more than a while if things worked out, but I didn’t want to get Gran’s hopes up—or mine, for that matter.

“Good.” She screwed the lid onto a jar. And I looked around the kitchen, realizing she’d been working in here most of the day. Jars and jars of the peach preserves she sold at the town fair lined the table, complete with blue-checked cloth and white ribbon on the lids.

I hadn’t seen her earlier today. Now, based on her appearance and all the filled canning jars, I could tell she wasn’t feeling ill at all. Though she’d obviously been busy, she didn’t look a bit harried or fatigues, either. No, Magnolia Holland was neat as a pin, as always. But she didn’t look at all like someone who was dying from some mysterious ailment. Her short, platinum-blonde hair was styled into a perfect bob, her makeup on point. No circles under her eyes, no haggardness, no weakness or paleness. She’d dressed in her usual jeans, white Keds and a cotton button-down, today in a soft-lavender check. This was her standard, puttering around the house uniform. And it fit her perfectly. Clearly, she hadn’t experienced weight loss or retention due to her being malady.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” I asked, my arms crossed and eyes narrowing. Something was off here, way off.

“Why?”

“Because you’re sick. What did Aunt Macy tell me…? At death’s door? Dying? Not much time left?”

Gran gave the fakest cough I’d ever heard.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I growled.

“You want me to be sick? Nice, Jorie.”

“Of course, I don’t.” I pointed at her. “Don’t try to guilt me. Of course, I’m glad you’re not dying, but you lied to me!”

Her hand smoothed over her hair then she rubbed her palms over her hips and didn’t meet my eyes. “We’re all dying. A little every day. I’m old.” She glanced at the fitness tracker on her wrist as if to confirm that. “I don’t have much time left.”

“You’re not old.” I shook my head. Seriously…she wasn’t even sixty-five. “I uprooted my life to come down here and take care of you.”

Calmly, she turned and pulled off her frilly apron then dropped it on the hook near the back door. “And what kind of life did you uproot?” she asked when she faced me again. “Moping around in Michigan and working at Starbucks rather than getting a job in your field.”

“There’s nothing wrong with working at Starbucks.”

“No, there’s not. But it wasn’t a career. Not for you. You worked too hard to spend your days in Macy’s basement and your evenings making fancy coffee for night owls.”

“Aunt Macy wanted to get rid of me?” That hurt. She’d always assured me I was welcome. She always acted that way, too. And it wasn’t as if I’d been freeloading. Since graduating high school, I’d paid her some rent for my living space—at my insistence, not hers.

“Of course not. She loves you. She also wants what’s best for you. So do I. We both know your heart wasn’t there in Grand Rapids.”

“And it’s where? Here in Mason?”

“Of course.”

“You’re wrong.” Maybe, she was right. My lips still seemed to tingle from earlier, and it took a lot of willpower not to reach up and touch them.

“Oh girl, don’t be so obtuse. You and that boy have unfinished business, and it wasn’t getting finished until you got your behind back here. And now, you can wrap up things between you. Or begin again,” she added. “Just look what’s happened since you got here. You’ve been back two days and you’ve been to his place and you already have a job there. In a job that’s exactly what you studied for in college.”

Not exactly but there was no arguing semantics. “It’s a temporary job, with flexible hours, to help him out while I was down here for you—something that’s apparently unnecessary.”

Her brown eyes widened, and her calm wavered. “Don’t you go taking off again,” she exclaimed, her voice raised in near-panic. “Don’t you do that to me. Or to him.”

“Gran…” The thought of leaving hurt my heart. I wasn’t sure I ever would, that I even could. But it was way too soon to know.

“Don’t you ‘Gran’ me. If you think on it, you know I’m right. You’re happiest here.”

I huffed a sigh. “You know Ryder almost came with me? Almost took off time from his new job because of being worried about you.”

She waved a hand. “Macy wouldn’t have let him. She would have told him what was going on.”

Always an answer…

I shook my head and walked over to the large window overlooking the backyard. Staring blindly outside, I clasped my hands together, my inside shuddering from all the conflicting emotions. Anger, relief, anticipation, frustration, happiness, disbelief, fear—not for Magnolia, but for me. And Nash. I wanted to scream. Laugh. Cry. My shoulders shook.

“Sugar pea…” Gran rubbed circles on my back. “I’m sorry I lied, but I just want what’s best for you. What was keeping you from moving forward?”

I shrugged, not looking at her. Nash and I had resolved some things between us, but it was too soon to know where that resolution would lead. I rubbed my fingers across my bottom lip. That kiss seemed to say he had definite intentions. That fate was set. But now, with some time and space from that moment, I wasn’t sure. Was it nostalgia, what could have been, what had been unresolved? Or had those emotions been the promise of something real. I didn’t want to rush into something. I couldn’t.

“I think you know. Deep inside you, you know why you couldn’t move on. You just don’t want to admit it,” she continued as if she read my thoughts.

“Gran, it’s not that easy.”

“What’s not easy? Coming home?”

“Yeah. Coming here. Facing everyone after…”

“After that boy broke your heart?” she finished when I didn’t. “You were embarrassed and hurt because of what you think happened? Do you imagine you’re the only one in this town to ever go through heartbreak?”

“But everyone here knows everyone else’s business.”

“Yes, we do,” she agreed, seeming completely undisturbed by it. “We also know, every one of us, that that boy would never hurt you. Ever. Not on purpose.”

He had, but I conceded she was right. It was accidental and the realization had flattened him. He’d had unmistakable remorse in his eyes. Over something that had been more my fault than his, to tell the truth.

“Seeing him. It brought up so many feelings. It’s confusing. Today was…wonderful. And I’m terrified. I don’t want to be hurt again.”

“So it’s better to turn tail and run? I taught you better than that, girl. You’re brave. You hold your head high, look everyone in the eye and kick his ass if you need to.”

“Gran!” I stared at her in shock.

“What?” she asked, wide-eyed with faux-innocence. “Jorie, you listen to me. We all get hurt and hurt each other. Most of the time, it’s not even intentional. Your grandfather, God rest his soul, did so many thoughtless things. Enough things that, sometimes, I’d think: this is it. This is the end. It wasn’t. Because I loved him and forgave him. And he forgave me all the dumb things I did, too. That’s what couples do. He loved me to his last breath, and I will love him to mine. Someday, I might even forgive him for leaving me behind. But Jorie, sugar pea, people make mistakes. The question is, will you answer a mistake with another?”

“I made a mistake leaving without talking to him,” I admitted quietly.

Her smile was half-grimace as she nodded. “And I should have told him where you were when he begged me to tell him.”

“He did?” I whispered.

“He did. You were both young, and I thought you needed time to come to the realization you needed him and you needed to forgive him whatever he’d done.” She held up her hand to stall me. “And I don’t want to know what happened that night. I don’t think my poor heart could stand those details.” She raised her eyebrow at me.

“Message received.” Not that I’d ever tell her. I shuddered inside at the idea of that conversation. No, thank you! “I’m going to my room to call Ryder.”

“Jorie?”

“Yeah?”

“Just remember that what’s meant to be will always find a way.”

That gave me just a second of pause, then I shook my head and walked away. My Gran, always so sage. Minutes later, I threw myself across my bed like a disgruntled teenager and dialed my cousin.

“You are not going to believe this?” I said when he answered.

“She’s worse than you thought?”

“Oh, she’s worse,” I groused then launched into what had happened since I’d arrived, only stopping when Ry was laughing his ass off.

“It’s not funny,” I exclaimed.

“They played you so bad,” he hooted.

“Shut up. You, too? I thought you were on my side.”

“We’re all on your side, babe.”

“Not so I noticed. Did you know?”

“Ah, c’mon, Jor. Of course, I didn’t. But we all want what’s best for you.”

I gritted my teeth. “Shouldn’t I decide that?”

“But were you? Were you choosing what was best?”

“I don’t like any of you right now,” I grumbled, recognizing the truth. I’d been spinning my wheels, afraid to move on. That was true, but I didn’t like everyone pointing it out to me.

“That’s okay. We still love you. It’s just time for you to get back on the right path and stop the side trip to nowhere.”

“Shut up,” I whispered.

He was right. They were all right. Two days in Mason had proved it.

“Love you, genius.”

“Love you, too, stupid,” I answered, more thankful than ever for my family, even if they’d manipulated me to get me right where they thought I should be. And they were probably right, too.

* * * *

“So Magnolia’s fine,” Nash said as he drove down the deserted highway out of Mason. He’d picked me up a few minutes ago, wearing black jeans, boots and a black button-down that nicely hugged his muscles without being too tight.

My mouth watered at the sight of him, and I was glad I’d dressed up just a little. I’d donned a little red swing dress that swept across mid-thigh and coupled it with my own black cowboy boots.

When his gaze had darkened, eating me up, I knew I’d made the right choice. Despite the heat zinging between us, he hadn’t pulled me to him or kissed me or anything. He’d merely laced our fingers and guided me to his truck that looked as if it had been washed recently—like since he’d come to town, because there wasn’t a bit of the dust on it. If he’d washed it back at the ranch, it would already be dusty again.

I unconsciously played with the hem of my skirt as we drove now. “Yeah, they were all playing me to get me back here. Lied to me about her being sick.”

“Can’t say I’m sad about that. Really glad she’s okay, too.” He glanced at me and sent me a quick grin, flashing his mostly straight white teeth. Call me weird, but I really loved that one slightly crooked lateral incisor—yes, I’d looked up the name a few years ago when I couldn’t sleep and I’d been obsessing over him.

“Me too. It’s a relief. So where are we going? You know I can’t be out too late. I have a new job, and I’m not sure about my boss yet. Don’t want to piss him off on my first full day.”

Nash laughed. “I hear he’s a pretty decent guy. You should give him a chance.” He grabbed one of my fidgeting hands and laced our fingers again. “There’s a nice place over in Fredericksburg where I thought we could eat. Neutral territory and private. ‘Cause you know the second we hit the streets of Mason, everyone will know. I wasn’t sure you were ready for that.”

I bit my bottom lip and swallowed. Keeping our relationship a secret had been my mistake before; I wouldn’t do that again. “I would like privacy tonight, ‘cause you know how people are. In town, we’ll constantly have someone coming over here to talk to us. But…if you’re…sure about us, um, dating, then…” I took a deep breath then huffed it out. “I don’t want to keep us a secret. That’s what caused our problems before.”

He nodded and lifted our hands to kiss the back of mine, sending a shiver of pleasure through me. “Good. And for the record, I’m sure. I’m very sure.”

I grinned. “I’m not so sure about dating my boss though.”

“Stop it,” he laughed. “We’re doing this. We’re dating, and you’re not giving back that mess in your office. You’re stuck. It’s your disaster now.”

I didn’t mind that so much. “Disaster aside, it really is a dream job for someone just out of college.”

“Well, I hope I make a lot of your dreams come true.”

Did her really just say that?

He probably could fulfill all my needs and desires, but like earlier, I thought it was too early to go there.

“So…I guess I have more flexibility with the hours I can work, since Magnolia is just fine. I can probably do a regular schedule now. You know, we never talked about that, when you needed me to be there.”

“All the time?”

“Nash…”

He laughed. “Considering I didn’t have someone in the job until a few hours ago, it’s up to you.”

Dream job and basically managing myself. Okay then.

“I should finish going through everything and making sure everything’s in the calendar, so I can get an overview of operations and reservations.”

“I’ll still oversee the ranching side of things. It’s far smaller than when we were growing up, but I still run cattle and hay for feed sales.”

“Okay.” Good. Though I was sure I could figure it out, I had no idea on the office side of ranching. “I saw you have two more weddings scheduled next month.”

“Right.” His thumb caressed over the top of my hand while we talked. The conversation might be about business, but he was keeping a personal connection, too. “Going forward, I’d like to offer full-service events. Have clients use our resources and our people rather than just booking our space and dragging in their circus. It seems like a lot of work up front, but it’s a real pain in the ass to deal with a million people, each organizing their portion of a single event. I’d rather have one person who runs a dedicated team.”

He’d mentioned that earlier, and I thought it was a good idea. It would streamline things, as well as bring in more revenue for the guest ranch. “Tell me how you really feel,” I laughed. “What does Missy think about that idea?”

“She’d love to plan the food and oversee a catering team. What do you think, though?” he asked. When he glanced over at me, the look on his face said he valued my opinion. A lot. More than as a mere employee. The intimacy in it took me by surprise, though I guess it shouldn’t have, considering our past and the way we’d behaved with each other since lunch and our long-overdue talk. I still felt as if he’d forgiven my overreaction and running a lot more easily than he should have. Guilt from my actions had hung on the edges of my consciousness all afternoon. I wouldn’t let them ruin what was re-blossoming between us, but I felt as if I needed to make it up to him. Fix my mistakes. Fix how unfair I’d been to him. How I’d do that, I didn’t know.

“It’ll be a lot of work, but I think it’s a worthy investment in time and your resources. I did intern work with an event planner for my senior capstone course, so I have a good handle on what it entails.”

“I can’t believe you went into hospitality. You were always going to be a writer.”

“I still write. Just in a different way. Some promotional; some just for me. I have a blog. Plans change. You’re doing something all new, too,” I commented. “I, um…I can’t help noticing you’re running everything on your own, and it’s obvious everything’s entirely on your shoulders. You haven’t mentioned your parents once, not even to say that you’ll run things past them for their advice. How did that happen? How did you end up in charge of the whole ranch?” I’d meant to ask Gran, but she’d disappeared for an outing with her ladies before I’d finished my phone call with Ryder.

Silence lengthened between us as he stared straight ahead, his jaw rigid. His fingers tightened on mine when I went to pull my hand away.

“It’s okay,” I said, realizing I’d treaded into tumultuous territory. Once upon a time, that might have been okay, but not now. “You don’t need to tell me.”

“But I do,” he said. “You need to know.”

His breath huffed out, and he glanced around us before pulling to the side of the country highway we’d been traveling.

“Nash,” I whispered. This had to be bad. There was no other reason for him to pull over. The hand gripping mine seemed cold, as if stress had drawn away all his warmth. I tensed, waiting. When he spoke, I discovered just how right I was.

“The night you left, my parents were away. You remember that?”

“Yes.”

“When they got back the next day, I found out they were meeting with financial guys. I was a mess because you’d run off, and at first, I didn’t realize how bad things were. Dad had a gambling problem he kept secret for years, and he nearly bankrupted the ranch. He sold off most of the stock and was trying to get money to keep the place running by using the land equity. They refused him. In a way, I was glad because if they’d given it to him, he probably would have gambled that away, too. My dad was a good guy, but…” He shook his head, and his hand tightened even more. I didn’t protest, despite the pain. I just let his sorrow seep into me while I listened. He sighed heavily. “And then, I feel really awful, like the most horrible son ever, because if they had said yes, maybe—” His voice cracked. “Maybe, he wouldn’t have…” He turned and stared out his side window, shaking his head. “Dad’s gone, Jorie,” he finally said.

Gone? I had the feeling he hadn’t just disappeared. This was worse. My eyes burned as an entirely different pain speared into me, stealing my breath.

“He…killed himself?” I whispered brokenly. I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. Why didn’t Gran tell me?

Nash nodded. He released me and scrubbed his hand over his face. “Yeah. Went out about a mile from the house. Mom sent me to go get him for dinner. And I found him.”

“Oh God,” I gasped.

He shook his head, as if pushing away that memory, but even from the side, I could see his eyes were glassy with unshed tears. His hand swiped over his face again. “Afterward, Mom couldn’t stay. She moved to Dallas to live with my aunt and uncle. She just kinda…shut down. She left me with everything. What was left anyway. All the land, all the debt, all the problems. My own grief.”

“Oh, Nash!” I breathed. I could hardly comprehend what he’d been through or that the man who’d been so kind to me my whole life, who’d been a father figure to me during my formative years, had killed himself rather than face the consequences of his gambling. I couldn’t fathom all of the consequences falling on the shoulders of the boy I’d loved my whole life. How horrible it had to have been. And he’d been alone. His dad gone. His mom deserting him. I’d run away.

My hand covered my mouth as I hunched forward. Tears streamed down my face, pain and guilt hitting me hard. I’d left him alone in this. I’d run away and he’d been alone in this. So much had been ripped away from him. Alone. Alone. He’d been all alone.

Nash caught me as the overwhelming grief hit me. Unfastening my seatbelt, he pulled me tight to his chest. My tears soaked his shirt as I cried out the pain of loss and the devastating weight of my guilt. I sobbed into his shoulder. My whole body shook with my hitching breaths while sorrow engulfed me in wave after wave. He just held me, rubbing my back and talking softly to me, soothing me. It was his dad and here he was comforting me.

I don’t know how long we stayed there like that, me crying, him with his damp face pressed into my neck. He was my rock, my anchor, and I was taken with a tremendous need to be there for him, however he’d have me.

I sniffled, my chest still clutching, as I tried to pull it together.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his shirt, my hands clutching the fabric over his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry I didn’t know or I wouldn’t have asked. It’s your pain, and here you are comforting me. I’m crying all over you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. I’ve had five years to mourn.”

“No. No, it’s not okay. If I’d known…” I shook my head, pulling back to look into his sad eyes. If I’d known…what? Would I have come home to him there? If I’d known, yeah, I probably would have returned right away, no matter how mad I was. Nothing would have kept me away. I was surprised no one had told me.

He pulled my head back to his shoulder, cradling the back of my neck and I listened to his heart, thumping steadily beneath me, so comfortable and soothing. “When?” I asked. “You said…five years?”

“Not long after you left. Beginning of senior year.”

“God, Nash. That’s so much… Too much for an eighteen-year-old to take on. You were a kid. Hell, some people would say we still are.”

“I haven’t been a kid for a long time.”

With all the responsibility he’d shouldered, I guessed not. The obligations had aged him. And he’d been doing so much at the ranch, all on his own.

Resolve settled through me. I pulled back to look him in the eyes once more. “You’re not alone anymore, Nash. I’m here now. I know it’s late, but you’re not—”

He slammed his mouth over mine, stealing my words, stealing my declaration, perhaps sealing the deal and claiming my vow. He kissed me just as hungrily as he had earlier in the kitchen, but this time, there was added desperation and need. Urgency had us coming together, me straddling his lap and getting closer as we kissed. Pressed chest to chest, I pushed my hands into his hair. My hips rocked slowly against the steel-hard erection that fit against my panty-covered sex.

We were alive. Together. He was my comfort, and I could be his. I needed to feel him, to reaffirm us, to be as close as possible. From the way his ragged breathing increased and his deep groans vibrated against my breasts, I knew he felt the same.

We were both panting hard when he pulled me back. “Fuck, Jorie, I’m gonna come in my jeans at this rate.”

My hips canted into him again, and I swept my tongue over my bottom lip. I’d rather you come into me.

As if he’d read my thought, his gaze darkened with intensified lust. “It’s been five years,” he said. His fingers tightened on my hips, keeping me close. Did he think I’d move away? Not a chance.

“There hasn’t been anyone else,” I said. “I never wanted anyone else, even when I was mad.”

“Me, either,” he confessed. “Too busy. Besides, no one else got me hard—not even the idea of a mindless fuck did it. I’ve got a one-woman dick, I guess. Just the idea of anyone else… I thought he was broken.”

That brought a smirk to my face. “Doesn’t feel too broken to me,” I said, rocking against the solid ridge again.

“Not with you.” The hands on my hips guided me harder against him. “Hell, I could open my jeans and slip inside…”

“Do it,” I breathed, just wanting him and forgetting everything else. His hand moved between use then his hips lifted as he shoved his jeans and briefs down his thighs. A moment later, he pushed my panties to the side, and his fingers quickly glided through my wetness. Then the head of his cock lodged at my opening.

I groaned in pleasure as his thick length pushed past my entrance. Even the pinch of discomfort from having no one in five years didn’t detract from how perfect it felt to have him inside me again. My hands clasped his powerful shoulders, and my head dropped back as the sound of our bliss mixed fill the truck’s cab.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he rasped. His breaths chuffed out as I slid down him.

“You feel so good,” I cried. “Give me more. Give me all of you.”

“Yes.” He grasped my hips tight and surged up into me, burying himself to the hilt.

“Nash, yes,” I screamed. My channel clenched around him, my eyes squeezing shut from the perfect pleasure of the reunion with my best friend, my first love, my man.

I rocked against his base, drawing another groan from him and sending spikes of electric sensation through me at the sweet friction.

“Baby, please?” he begged.

“Yeah?” I smiled, enjoying this power, this moment. I watched the agonized bliss on his face, the taut cords of his neck exposed to me with his head dropped against the back of the seat. I nipped at a tendon then licked the length as I kept rocking, glorying in the sharp reaction pulsing through me with each move.

“I’m going to come too soon. Feels too good.”

“So good,” I echoed.

“Fuck, baby, please.”

“Yes, fuck me,” I begged. With that, the storm unleashed. His hand came up to cup my breast, his fingers finding the nipple and pulling while his hips bucked up into me. It was raw and rough, neither of us with much experience or finesse but having plenty of need. We fucked hard until I screamed my release, the climax washing over me like a tidal wave, thrashing me about, tumbling to me toward oblivion. He yelled a moment later, and his warmth filled me.

I collapsed against his shoulder, my eyes closing in delight as aftershocks vibrated through my limbs.

He cupped my head and brought my mouth to his. “Welcome home, baby. You better never leave me again.”

I hummed and sank against him. Home. I was finally home. At least for now.