KATYA

Past

 

IT WAS A normal, typical day…

Until it wasn't.

Senga, my little sister, and I were watching TV in the living room that evening when there was a knock at the door.  My father, who was sitting in his favorite recliner, sat up ramrod straight at the sound.  I watched closely as he gave my mother an indecipherable look.  And when I glanced at Mama, her eyes were wide as she nervously wrung her hands in her lap.

Something was wrong, I told myself.

My father quickly stood and disappeared from the room to answer the door.  I left my little sister, who was still glued to the TV, and followed after him.

"Katerina!" my mama hissed at me, but I kept walking, ignoring her protest.

When I reached the hallway, I stopped at the sound of hushed, angry voices.  Mostly it was the familiar voice of my father's, but then a deeper, much more controlling voice had me almost backing away in fear.

Peeking around the corner, I observed a group of men standing in the foyer of our small house, completely overwhelming the space.  One older man was dressed in an expensive suit and hat, and he was pressing his chubby finger into my dad's chest, pinning him against the wall.

The hair on my arms stood on end, as if sensing an evil presence.  And the man did look like the devil himself with dark, receding hair and black, beady eyes.  The older man was much shorter than my father, but the power coming from him made it seem like he was ten feet tall.

His face was scrunched in anger, and he was snarling like a wild animal as he continued to poke my father in the chest as if punctuating each point.  He was spouting off in Russian about how my father messed up at the last poker game and now it was time to pay up.

He was here to collect what was owed.

I grimaced at his words.  My father was always gambling away our precious money and pawning off things that we owned.  I wondered if the television would be next, and it made me sad because it was one of the few things that Senga and I had left.  My father had already sold our jewelry, toys and most of our nicer clothes.

He had a good job at the factory and made decent money, but he squandered it all away by playing poker.

"Fine, fine, you can have her, Pavel," my father said next, and it jarred me from thinking about losing the TV.

My eyes widened as I stared at him, wondering if I'd really heard him say what I thought he did.  He'd actually bet one of us in a card game?

Angry at my father, I stormed towards the group of men and yelled, "You're not taking my little sister!"

The rich man with beady eyes I now know as Pavel turned towards me with an evil grin on his face.  "Oh, dear girl, we're not here for your little sister.  We're here for you."

A cold chill ran up my spine, causing me to halt in my tracks.  My head whipped towards my father, expecting him to protest or at least say something, anything.

But he just stood there with his head hung low, quietly accepting the truth of the matter.

He'd bet me in a card game.  He'd sold me to this…monster.

Pavel stepped forward, but I took a step back in defiance.  I wouldn't go willingly, if that's what he was counting on.  I've dealt with bullies all my sixteen years of life.  When you're the poorest kid in school, you're bound to get picked on.  I stuck up for myself and Senga all the time.  And this man wasn't any different.  He was just a bigger bully than what I was used to.

"I'm not going," I said, standing my ground.

"You don't have a choice, Katerina," my father said sternly.  "What's done is done."

What's done is done.

And I didn't realize how true those words really were until the rich man whistled and his two oversized goons reached for me.  I ran backwards, stumbling, but quickly picked myself back up again.

Once I was back in the living room, I ran for my mother, begging her to help me.

But she simply stared off in the distance, looking right through me, as if I didn't even exist.

"Mama!  Mama!" I screamed as one of the men grabbed my arm and tried to wrench me away from her.

"Katya!" my little sister cried out, and I could hear the pure terror in her voice.

She ran for me, but the other man kept her at bay.

"Please!  Let me say goodbye to my sister!" I begged as the man pulled me out of the room.  I fought against his hold as a million questions swirled in my mind.

What would happen to Senga?  Who would make sure she wasn't bullied at school?  Who would protect her?

My mother had become a lifeless shell of a woman over the years due to my father's abuse and neglect.  I basically had become Senga's mother, taking care of her, making sure she had food and went to bed at a decent hour.  I got her up in the morning for school.  I was the one who brushed her hair.

"Senga!" I cried, clawing at the man's arms wrapped around me.

"She's going to live with her new family now," I could hear my father telling my little sister in the next room.  "She doesn't want us anymore."

"You lie!  You liar!" I screamed as the man dragged me outside and towards a fancy, black car.  A man was waiting at the back door, and he quickly opened it, so the other man could push me inside.

Once I landed on my back on the plush, leather seat, the man slammed the door shut, sealing me inside what felt like a dark, fancy coffin.

Quickly, I sat up in the seat, my pulse racing and my breaths stuttering as my heart pounded in my chest.

I wanted to lash out.  I wanted to scream.

But then my father's words came back to me.

What's done is done.

He gambled and lost.  And I was the pawn in the game, the consolation prize.

But what did my fate hold?  What could this man possibly want me for?  Would he turn me into a servant…a slave?

I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to cry until I actually learned my fate and how dire it truly would be.  I tried to tell myself that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  That maybe everything would be all right.

But when the rich, older man climbed into the back of the car and sat across from me, I knew everything wasn't going to be all right.  The way he looked at me, like I was good enough to eat and that he couldn’t wait for a taste, sent shivers up and down my spine.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trembling under his stare as the car started moving, carrying me further and further away from my family…from my little sister.

The silence in the back of the car was thick with tension.  And finally, I was the one who broke it.

"What are you going to do with me?" I asked, fearing the answer more than anything I'd ever feared in my entire life.

"Anything I want," the man simply said.  "You're mine now.  I own you."

"I'll never be yours," I said defiantly, folding my arms across my chest.

Pavel chuckled.  "Your father told me how headstrong you were."  And what he said next chilled me to the very bone.  "I can't wait to beat that defiance right out of you."

The rest of the car ride was quiet, too quiet, and I felt like I was drowning in a sea of silence.  I had so many questions and not nearly enough answers.

My father clearly sold me to someone powerful, someone in charge…and someone who was going to hurt me.  That much I knew, and it was difficult to try to let it all sink in.  I didn't want it to sink in or be true.  I just wanted to go home.  To Senga.

When we finally reached his sprawling mansion late that night, I was trembling in fear and anticipation of what would happen next.  Horrible thoughts ran through my mind, and I had no way to stop them.

The door opened, and Pavel stepped out first, looking back and motioning for me to follow him.

I thought at the moment that maybe if I obeyed, he would take it easy on me.  So, I complied and climbed out on my own, following behind him to the entrance as the gravel below dug into my bare feet.  My eyes darted everywhere along the way, looking for an escape route, a way out somehow, but there were guards all over the place…along with tall gates and guard dogs.

There was no escaping here.  And that realization sent a new wave of tremors through me.

I wondered how long the man would keep me, exactly how long my father had gambled my life away for and if I would ever see my little sister again.

Pavel led me into a large room that looked like a library.  I loved books, so the sight of them made me feel slightly better.

But then the man's voice came from behind me.  And one word brought my world crashing down.

"Strip."

I turned to him and watched as he locked the double sliding doors.  There's no way out.  And he's asking me to take off my clothes.

"N-no," I stammered, shivering.  I couldn't stop shaking.

Pavel produced a knife from his pocket, flicking the blade out and pointing it towards me.  "Strip.  Now," he commanded.

Shaking my head, I backed away from him.  "No!" I spat at him.

"This isn't a game, girl," he growled.  "Do you want to lose a finger or an ear tonight?"  He played with the knife in his hands, moving the sharp blade over the pad of his beefy thumb.

Tears filled my eyes as I weighed my options, which were next to none.  I didn't want to be hurt, but I also didn't want him looking at my naked body.  It was wrong.

Shaking my head, I took another step back, almost toppling over a small table.  "Please.  Please," I begged.  "I'll do anything you want, but not this.  I'm a v-virgin," I confessed.

"I know that, girl.  That's the only reason I allowed your father to put you up as a pawn.  He bragged to everybody at the card game that he had valuable collateral — a pretty, virgin daughter."

His words sickened me, and I stared at him in disbelief.  My father was a drunk and a gambler, but I never thought he could stoop so low…until now.

"Now, Katerina," he said, spitting out my name like a curse.  "Are you going to comply, or do I have to make you comply?"

I stood my ground and glared at him.  If he was going to take something from me, I wasn't going to give it to him willingly, without a fight.

"Have it your way then," he said slowly, setting the knife down on the large oak desk at his side.  His fingers then went to his belt, the leather whispering through the fabric loops as he pulled it loose.

He wrapped the leather strap around one hand, leaving the belt buckle exposed on the other end dangling towards the ground.  He came towards me, and before I could even think to move or defend myself, the belt buckle was slashing against my upper thigh.

The metal cut straight through the fabric and into my tender flesh below.  Blood blossomed onto my pants, and I immediately felt lightheaded at the sight.  My father had hit me before, but he rarely drew blood — only left bruises.

The next strike from Pavel came right after, getting me on my side, cutting into my skin and ripping through me as he pulled it back out.

I cried out in agony, my knees threatening to buckle as I tried to run away, tried to escape him.

But he just kept coming after me, the belt biting into my skin time and again until I was a sobbing, screaming mess.

I gasped, sucking air into my lungs, coughing and sputtering as I curled into a ball, defenseless and in total agony.

"Help!" I screamed for someone, anyone.

I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed with all my might for a white knight to come bursting through the doors, just like in the books I read to Senga every night when I tucked her into bed.

We had so many fairy tales about princesses and princes and far off lands where the white knight always swooped in at the last second and saved the girl.  And I wanted to be that girl in that moment.  I wanted to be saved.

I thought about those stories at that moment, completely tuning out the sound of Pavel's belt slicing through the air…my sobs piercing my ears…the pain wracking my body…

 

But my Prince Charming never came to save me.

Not that night.

And not any night after that.