Bella

They say it’s perfectly normal to be nervous the day of your wedding. My nerves aren’t because I worry I’m marrying the wrong man, no I’ve been a wreck all day knowing Evan is taking down Alex today.

Alex.

Dr. Alexander St. Cloud.

The man I’ve been pretending to love.

The man I’ve lied to over the past few years just to gain intel on him for Evan.

I’d do anything for him. For my husband.

It wasn’t easy pretending to love a man I knew was evil.

It wasn’t easy to love a man I couldn’t be with.

Sneaking around. Sneaking a kiss here or there. But, now it’s over. Now we’re free to exist together.

And I couldn’t be happier.

I smile a bit about my new locks as Evan runs a finger through it under my veil.

“I love it,” he says.

He hasn’t seen me since I changed the color back to the way he met me.

Warm chestnut is definitely my color. The blonde belongs to someone else, a girl I don’t recognize. I’m perfumed in his favorite fragrance—coconut—and lotion buttery-soft. Tonight, when he lifts my dress and slides his warm, strong hands up my thighs he’s going to groan in my ear that same needful wave of lust that has lived on his lips for months. Begging, pleading for a taste of me. Well, boy, tonight it’s all yours. I’m all yours. Every single inch of me. I’m gonna let him do anything to my body he wishes. I want him everywhere. That thick cock, those full too-soft for a man’s lips. He won’t regret waiting. I’ll make sure of it with every circle of my hips, and lick of my tongue.

And my heart will whisper into his ear all the things I’ve longed to tell him. How I’ve wanted this forever. How no one could ever mean more to me than this man. How much I adore him and love him so completely I wish I was bigger, my heart was some kind of elastic balloon that could stretch just to make a bigger home, a wider nest, for my love for him.

I take a deep cleansing breath and close my eyes, seeing his reflection under my lids, so handsome and dreamy. Mine. He’s all mine now. Hand over my heart, I just cling to that. This is the moment I have worked so hard for. All I have dreamt about, wished for. The stars finally connecting, today, in just a few moments.

Is this really happening?

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” Mr. Levinthal says.

Evan doesn’t even wait a breath before his mouth captures mine. And then the kiss takes off like a rocket racing toward outer space. It’s out of this world the way he flanks my face with both hands, roaming his tongue over mine.

I’ll never tire of kissing this man.

I’ll never tire of being his wife and vow to give him all of my heart, forever and ever.

“Ladies first.” He lovingly offers me his hand. I steady myself with his grasp and climb into the bucket seat of the Ferris wheel on Coney Island. It’s called the Wonder Wheel and has huge, glowing neon lights decked out in red and blue. I chuckle to myself a bit as we take our seats thinking about the last time we sat on a Ferris wheel together, how innocent and scary it all was.

Evan takes a seat beside me as I lift my dress a bit, settling the extra material around my knees so it won’t drag across the floor of the ride. I gaze up at the crackling bulbs and then to Evan, who has a smile on his handsome face that won’t fade. When I lower the bar across our laps, this time I don’t cling to it for dear life. Instead, I lean into my new husband and hug myself around his strong arm.

Evan dots my lips with a chaste kiss, like he’s going to keep it PG until later up in the luxury hotel suite I have booked, but there’s nothing PG about our feelings. We’re all in. I’m not letting go of him anywhere, anytime soon. This is our ride. Enjoy the show.

We jolt forward and I giggle softly against his warm, roughed up kissing lips. Evan draws his finger across my forehead and pushes back soft wisps of my hair that have escaped a jeweled hair clip.

“Not scared anymore?” he asks, fully keeping my attention as his thumb presses against the fast beating pulse of my neck.

I arch my head back artfully, revealing more of my neck. “You’re the one with your hand on me. What do you think?”

“Hmm.” He leans in close and whispers in my ear, “I foresee, your heart pulsing just as erratically later on this evening as it is right now.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Baby, anything is possible.” He kisses me, soundly. “You did so damn good,” Evan says, wrapping an arm around me, finally simmering down as we climb higher and higher toward the stars.

“Did you doubt me?” I laugh a little.

He cracks a smile. “There may have been a few moments of doubt.”

“No, you didn’t.” I gaze up at him. “You knew you could always trust me.”

“Well…” He kisses my eager lips.

“Evan?” I laugh, unable to believe he’s ever had any doubt in me.

When the ride ends, we finish off the wedding with funnel cakes and fried Oreos with Levinthal and Roman before we leave for our honeymoon.

“I can’t believe it’s all over. We all did good,” Roman says. “And by ‘we’ I, of course, mean ‘me’.”

“Dude, you shot me when you were only supposed to barely graze me, so I had a reason to see Bella on her birthday.” Evan holds me close.

Roman cringes. “You’re not still crying over this, are you?”

Crying? He must have me confused with another man. “I took a bullet, made a tourniquet out of my belt and then wished my girl a happy birthday. Name the last time something you did involved any of those.”

He opens his mouth then snaps it back shut. Evan nods. “Exactly.”

I laugh, and I wrap my arms around him for a quick hug. “I can’t believe you shot yourself just to see me.”

“Well, technically, Roman shot me.”

“Get this man a violin,” Roman laughs.

“I hope your next partner can handle you.” Evan leans back, landing his arm on the back of my chair.

“I still can’t change your mind to reconsider leaving?” Levinthal asks.

“Nah, I’ve worked undercover long enough. Time for a new adventure.” Evan’s gaze lands on me. “Maybe I’ll start my own PI firm.”

I kiss my husband. “That’s a good idea. We have all the time in the world now.”

“We sure do, baby,” Evan says before kissing me again.

I remember back to the night it all began. The night in Florida, when Evan came home from work after having a bad night watching some man named Daylen’s house for the sheriff…

“You look like you’re contemplating something, and it’s not dinner,” I say to him.

He glances around as if someone’s watching, listening even. “Yeah.” He wraps his arms around me, leaning close to my ear. “Can I trust you,” he whispers against my ear.

“Always.”

He kisses me on the lips. And there’s nothing I want more than to prove he can indeed trust me.

He walks me backwards down the hallway to the shower. I hold onto him, searching his eyes for answers.

He turns the shower on, but I get the feeling there’s more at play here. Like he’s not just trying to have sex with me in the shower. He kisses me again, as he removes my shirt. I don’t ask any questions, because I do trust him, but my heart pounds inside my chest.

I take over removing the rest of my clothes and stand before him naked. Then, he pulls out his phone before he drops his pants on the floor.

What in the world is he doing? But, still I don’t question, letting him know he can trust me. The moans and groans of porn sound from his phone. What in the world is going on? Thinking maybe it’s a new kink, I watch as he removes the rest of his clothes and we step into the shower together.

“I’m going to own your body tonight,” he says to me.

“Always. You own my body always.”

Before he kisses me, he brings his mouth close to my ear. “Just listen. Shh.”

I don’t say a word.

“I’m an agent with the FBI. I’m working a case on a string of dirty cops down here in Lake County.”

“Ray?” I whisper. I always knew he was as filthy as they come.

He nods.

The moans from the phone escalate, growing louder, and now I see this for what it is. A conversation no one can hear.

“My house may be bugged. I need to tell you things.”

“You can trust me,” I say to him, and only for him.

His eyes search mine before he continues, “I just learned tonight there’s a key player. Some St. Cloud, doctor in New York.”

My fingers grip onto his wet hair, the water cascading over us both. “Are you leaving?”

“Bella, I don’t want to.”

“Take me with you,” I say before he even finishes with his last word.

He kisses me long and hard, his tongue tracing the answers to my questions along mine.

And it’s in this moment I realize Evan is everything good in my life. The only man who has made me believe in happily ever afters. I’d do anything for him.

“I need you,” he whispers, but he appears to need more from me than just sex. Like this is a need for something from me. My help. My trust in him.

“Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

I kiss him. “Tell me your ideas and together we can think of something.”

“I’ve been undercover for as long as I can remember. I just want to be done with this. I want to catch these fuckers.”

“Then let’s do just that. You say this man is a doctor? I work at a hospital now.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head, his eyes boring into mine. “I can’t let you do this. It’s too dangerous.”

But, it’s already too late. My mind is already racing with ideas. “Let me help you.”

“No one could ever know,” he says. “No one.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“And if you’re even thinking about becoming a CI, we have to plan this out,” he whispers.

My eyes widen, casting my own fears into his eyes, I say, “CI?”

“Confidential informant.”

I hold onto him as he rubs against me, and I more than need this man. “Let me help.”

“Fuck, Bella,” he hisses. “I can’t believe I’m even agreeing to this.”

“There’s nothing to agree to. I’m doing this.” I’ve longed for this—to leave Florida behind and set out on a new mission in life. And there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with Evan.

I see now that there is such a thing as soulmates. As true love. As doing anything for the one you care about.

“We won’t be able to be together.”

“I know.”

“Not until it’s all over and said and done.”

I nod, kissing him a million times at the thought of not being able to kiss him when I want.

“We’ll have to pretend, we’ll have to assume people are always watching, Bella, always listening.”

I listen to the words he says, absorbing it all.

“Levinthal will always have eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Levinthal?” I whisper.

“The director of the FBI.”

We stay in the shower, until our fingers prune, discussing all options. Discussing my role in all of this.

Then we stay up all night plotting and planning. In the wee hours of the morning, when twilight becomes dawn, Evan makes love to me, telling me over and over how much he adores me. And I kiss him over and over, and over. All in threes.

And then, my heart plummets when he leaves. Not because he left me behind, but because my life is on a new course. And when he left my tarot card for me, I knew everything was a go. It was my signal, that the plan was set in motion, and I would become Evan Lacuna’s most trusted informant.

He left an account number in the box. A fund no one would ever know about. Money that helped me get to New York, and helped me become the woman Alexander would meet and love.

It wasn’t easy getting Alex’s attention at first, but the hard things just make the reward richer.

“Evan, I love you,” I say to him, knowing it’s over. Knowing that we survived this.

“I love you more.” He kisses the top of my head, then the tip of my nose, and lastly he plants a third kiss on my lips.

Relief floods through me, realizing it’s really over. That we made it this far. That this is the end of this story, and the beginning of our new life together. We’ve come full circle. Just like my favorite number means.