Chapter Thirteen
“And your dad?” Jamie’s jaw is tight as he exhales.
He’s definitely mad for me.
“My dad?” I try to articulate my feelings for my dad the best way I can. “He just wasn’t there. Ever. He was this person in the house who would pop in sometimes, then leave.”
“Was he abusive to you?” Oh, my. I don’t think Jamie would be too happy if I said yes.
“He wasn’t mean to me,” I say in a rush, “or a creep, you know. I guess I’m lucky there. He was nothing like any of that. He just didn’t really care about me. I mean at all. He had—has no real emotion for me. I’m a thing, not even adored like a pet… I don’t know he… he just didn’t see me.”
I think about it for a while.
“Maybe three times?” I look at Jamie and smile sadly.
“Three times?” Jamie asks.
“I’ve had a real conversation with him,” I say with a bit of anguish when the truth dawns on me. “And the conversations, they weren’t even that deep, but I guess they were something.”
Our eyes lock. “They were something,” I say again.
“They were, Wylder.” Jamie’s voice is tender.
I lean down and pick up another ornament. I walk around the tree, looking for a clear space.
“And then he’d be at the house so long with my mom, he’d get bored and start to drink.” I realize the story of my life is coming from somewhere deep—a place that needs to unload, let all the ugliness out. All the pain. “It’s scary for my mom when he drinks. He loses control. He says the cruelest things to her. Horrible, ugly insults about how pathetic he finds her… and her love.”
I look at Jamie. The empathy and love I see gives me strength to go on.
“And he can hit her when he gets really mad,” I say quietly. “Not all the time. But sometimes… sometimes he hits—I don’t know if he still does. I’m sure, but she’d deny it. And then of course he falls in love with someone new he’s met at a party or a book club, and the cycle begins all over again.”
I feel my eyes brim with shitty tears, and I have to look away from him. I don’t want to cry. I tell myself I’m only sad because the holidays are nostalgic and are usually a time of reflection.
I keep repeating this lie to myself.
From the corner of my eye, I see Jamie getting up. I know he’s walking toward me, and to be honest, I’m glad because I kind of need him. I need his strength and his goodness. He picks me up, and I wrap my arms around his neck and bury myself there. Jamie Donovan makes me feel safe, and he makes me believe in fairytales. He makes me believe that sometimes the universe will give you something really amazing even if you fight it, are afraid of it, or for some sick reason think you don’t deserve it.
And he—
Jamie Donovan is my something amazing.
––––––––––
Monday at work is a drag.
The last thing I wanted to do was leave the safety of my Jamie cocoon. After I verbally threw up my sad childhood, he went out of his way to be caring and considerate… and then normal, which means he didn’t dwell on it too long. He couldn’t seem to stop himself and did call my dad an insensitive asshole—which he is. With my mom, he was harsher, calling her a selfish, sociopathic, self-hating, self-destructive cuckoo. I couldn’t have picked my jaw off the ground if I tried.
He did finish it off with “but she’s your mom and somehow gave birth to you and gave you half the genes that make you who you are—don’t ask me how—so I’ll try to be less judgy. But it will be hard. Just letting you know.”
That speech made me fall for him some more.
Then he made love to me.
Soft, sweet love, like he was trying to somehow make up for my sad childhood. I gladly took it. Of course, he did then fuck the living hell out of me and was back to treating me like usual in no time, which is… really well.
Who would want to leave paradise and have to come hand Henry a pile of scripts from the mailroom and see his annoying, smirking face?
“Wyld,” he says in that irritating way of his, like I should be glad he’s paying attention to me. Oh my God, what was I thinking? “You’re looking better and better every time I see you, kid.”
“Must be all the sex I’m having.” The words come out before I can stop them, but I can’t help it. I wait to see him stew on it for a minute and hopefully back off.
He narrows his eyes and glances back at his computer screen.
“Might as well ride out the wave,” he says in an extremely condescending way. “Your fifteen minutes will be up with Donovan faster than you know.”
“Maybe.” I pretend to agree with him, even though I actually don’t believe it to be the case. Shockingly, I really don’t.
“And guess what, Henry?” I go in for the jugular. “Even if that happens, I’ll never ever ever fuck you.”
I must say, watching his face get all purple with rage is a satisfying moment. I give him a smug little smile and turn around. I walk toward the part of the building where Stacy Tennison’s office is located. It’s an area of the studio I’ve tried to ignore for the most part. Since I heard about Jamie’s alleged betrayal and even after we got back together, I just didn’t want to be caught around her. I might not be responsible for what the Wolverine claws might do because of her audacity to kiss my man.
That’s right.
It’s been hard to stay away, but so far I’ve done a masterful job.
I have to pick up a package I need to deliver to an actor’s house in Hidden Hills. I’m not looking forward to the long drive, but because I’ll be slightly closer to Malibu, I might try to stop by Jamie’s after—for a quickie, since I know he’s working on pre-production on the movie from his home office. His production team was supposed to have met him out there for a morning meeting. If I get to go by, hopefully they’ll be gone.
I’m so selfish.
“Wylder?” a voice I’d rather not hear at this moment says from my right. “I thought that was you.”
I turn and give Tatiana Marcus an odd, forced smile. This is definitely going to be a bit of what I’d like to call an awkward moment. Sadly, my profession never came up in our short acquaintance.
“Hey,” I say with a wave.
She brushes my greeting off and pulls me into her arms instead for a completely inappropriate hug—especially at a workplace.
“Why are you being so formal?” She purrs into my ear, then backs away and says loud enough that I’m sure a few people hear, “When we’ve been practically naked together in a Jacuzzi.”
I feel my face turn red from the innuendo because people are listening in. It’s also because my man happens to have a reputation of being Mr. Threesome, and here we are, living up to those expectations.
“What are you doing here?” I ignore the comment and go on because the damage is already done. Me coming back with something will only make me look even sluttier—I mean guiltier.
“I have a meeting with Stacy Tennison about a project I pitched her,” she surprisingly tells me. “My production company needs a producing partner, and I think this place is the perfect one.”
“I had no idea you had a production company.” I’m impressed. “That’s really a great accomplishment.”
“I opened shop over a year ago,” Tatiana says. “I have one show at Netflix in development about Sappho and another at AMC, which is a female true crime show.”
I’m sure I look more than surprised.
“You thought I was just a dumb actress, right?” Tatiana tilts her head to the side and laughs like it’s not a big deal.
“I didn’t think that at all,” I tell her. “I just—Sappho. That’s great. Really. Sounds like something I’d watch.”
Tatiana’s eyes light up in interest. “So what are you doing here?”
“I work here,” I say, stating the obvious. “I’m a paid intern.”
“Cool.” She nods her head. “Is this how you met Jamie?”
“No.” I shake my head quickly. “No. At a bar actually.” This was to be our cover story if anyone asks, which we know will happen often.
“So what are you here to learn?” She persists to my surprise. This is not a conversation I thought I’d ever be having with her after our spa encounter.
“I want to write, I think.” I shrug my shoulders when I think about how much of the world Jamie’s opened me up to. I actually enjoyed watching him direct. I like the creative liberty, the power. You’re the one calling all the shots. It’s really your vision, and you can take a script and turn it into whatever you want. “But for now I’m just feeling everything out,” I tell her.
Tatiana reaches into her purse and to my complete surprise says, “Can I get your number? I’d love to hang out sometime—don’t worry, as friends only.”
I die. Seriously. For sure everyone now thinks something happened between us.
“What the fuck,” I mutter to myself, then give her my number. As she’s typing away into her phone, Stacy Tennison walks toward us with a broad, fake smile.
“Tatiana.” She folds her arms and looks at the situation like she can’t believe it. “How long have you been waiting? I’ll fire my assistant.”
“Please.” Tatiana waves her off. “I don’t wait. I just came over to say hi to Wylder.”
“You two know each other?” Stacy looks like Kristen Wiig’s doppelganger on Saturday Night Live in her “Californians” skit. “That’s so crazy.”
“Crazy,” I say with a small smile, wanting to get the hell out of Dodge.
“We should all have drinks,” Tatiana says to my and Stacy’s horror.
“Totally.” Stacy looks like she’s about to be sick. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to steal you from Wylder and get the meeting going. I can’t wait to tell you what we’d like to do—”
“Bye, Wyld,” Tatiana says. “I’ll reach out.”
“Bye,” I say.
Well, who knew? Tatiana Marcus developing a show about Sappho. I guess stranger things have happened. I pick up the package for my run and ignore the inquisitive gazes I get from the assistants and some interns. Let them think what they want. It won’t matter what I say. They’re all bound to jump to their own conclusion anyway. What’s the point?
I walk in the elevator, and my cell phone buzzes against my thigh. I pull it out and am surprised to see a 9-1-1 text from Tony.
As soon as the elevator door opens, I call him.
“Are you okay?” I ask as soon as I hear him pick up.
“Something terrible happened.”
My stomach drops at his words. I all but screech into the phone. “What is it?” “Where are you?”
I think Tony is crying because I hear a few sniffles. My heart is breaking for him. I’ve never heard him show this kind of emotion the entire time I’ve known him. He always seemed immune. I walk through the hall to find my cubicle and then drop the scripts at my desk. Just at that moment, Kerri rounds the corner, and I reach out my hand for her to come over.
What, she mouths.
I motion toward the phone and mouth Tony back.
“Where are you?” I ask him. “Just tell me now.”
“I’m in the copy room on the basement level,” he manages to say.
Strange. But okay.
“Be right there.” I fail to mention Kerri will be right there with me, but I don’t think he’ll mind because she lives with us. I fill her in on our way down. We’re both actually really concerned. We practically run into the copy room, and what we find is just… Well, it’s just… It’s naked Tony.
Naked Tony with a magazine in front of his you-know-what.
“Oh, great!” He snorts in horror as Kerri takes in the scene. For once she’s quiet.
I state the obvious. “You know what I want to ask.”
“She took them as punishment,” Tony wails.
“Patricia?” Kerri finally speaks, and her voice is barely a whisper—because of his look. “Oh my gawd, Tony. You fucked Patricia?”
The almost cat woman.
“She looks like she’s from trash city.” Kerri shakes her head. “And like she got her clothes from Party City.”
“But I don’t understand.” I gasp and try my best not to laugh—the horrified kind. I try to process it all. “But why would she just take your clothes? She knows anyone can come in at any time—”
“She booked the copy room for the day for a top-secret project. She’s the only person who can get in this room today. I only unlocked it because you said you were coming.” He looks ashamed. “She just wanted to punish me for telling her I wouldn’t sleep with her again.”
“Again?” Kerri and I say it at the same time.
“What?” He gives us a guilty look. “She’s fun.”
“No judgment here,” I say as I hold up my hand.
“I have a lot of judgment.” Kerri shakes her head.
“Please,” Tony scoffs. “The industry-sex-club regular has no right to cast rocks.”
“Stop.” Kerri pretends to be offended. “The naked man hiding in the closet is hurting my feelings.”
“Why did you bring her?” Tony looks at me in anger.
“I’ll find you clothes,” I say to placate him.
“I can’t believe this is happening to me.” Tony sits and unfortunately flashes us his goods. Both Kerri and I turn around. The hilarity of the situation suddenly dawns on me, and all I want to do is shout in laughter, but I can’t. At least not until Kerri and I are safely outside and away from his earshot.
My phone vibrates. It’s Jamie.
He’d think this was beyond funny. I so wish I could tell him… I wouldn’t betray Tony like that. I so want to, but I won’t so I ignore his call.
“I’ll be back,” I say with my back to him and lift my hand. “Just—”
“What?” Kerri snorts. “Are you going to tell him not to go anywhere? Dressed like that?”
And then the seal breaks.
My laughter lets loose. We both explode at the same time and run out of the copy room as Tony curses us and promises some type of revenge.
Kerri and I fall into a fit of giggles on the floor.
“Kerri—” I can barely catch my breath. “I think I might be traumatized.”
“I’ll never look at him the same again.” Kerri falls over onto my shoulder and laughs her ass off.
“I can hear you bitches!” Tony knocks against the door, and we scream in laughter now.
I hear him swearing at us. We finally manage to crawl away from the door and make our way back into the intern room so I can grab my purse and the things I need and leave for my run. Kerri’s going to leave with me and go get Tony some clothes from the gift shop on the lot. When we’re in a place we can safely talk, she turns toward me with raised brows.
“What the fuck?!”
“I know!” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t think he will ever live this down. Honestly, Kerri. How can he?”
“He’s ruined.” She agrees with a shrug. “We can blackmail him for life.”
“Life,” I say in agreement. “When he’s a famous studio head, we’ll use it as ammo to get him to make our movies.”
“Amazing.” Kerri and I think it’s the funniest thing because Tony is our family, like a brother. But it will sure be fun taking the piss out of him for the next hundred years.
“I might sleep over at Jamie’s tonight,” I tell her. “By the time I get over to Hidden Hills, it’ll be late, and I can finish my coverage on the book I just read anywhere on my laptop.”
“That’s too bad.” Kerri shakes her head. “I was hoping you’d be there with me tonight to have a talk with our son about becoming the cougar’s sex toy.”
“Please don’t have it without me,” I beg her. “I need to be there for every part of it.”
“Fine,” she says with a dramatic eye roll. “I’ll have to think of something else fun to do tonight.”
“How about Trouble?” I lift a suggestive brow.
“I don’t know,” she says slowly. “I just don’t know what to do about him.” Something must be up because I have never heard Kerri sound so insecure—ever.
“What’s going on?”
Kerri walks with me to the parking garage. “He’s not like anyone I’ve ever gone out with.” Her voice sounds soft and unsure.
“You met him at the club,” I say.
“Yes.” She bites down on her lip. Her beautiful face looks tortured.
“Kerri?” I put my hand on her arm. “What’s going on with you? Who is this guy?”
Kerri looks at me and shakes her head. She shrugs and seems so lost.
“Honestly, Wylder,” she admits slowly. “I don’t even know who he is. I see him on his terms. When. Where. How. And I know nothing about him, except for that night you saw Jamie in the club. That was the only night I felt like I saw some of him. The real him.”
“He’s got layers,” I say, thinking of myself and how I can be. “Maybe he’s hiding from something or protecting himself. I kind of know the feeling.”
Kerri stares at me for a long while and then nods, but I don’t know if she believes me. I get why. Kerri’s smart. Really smart—especially with men. She knows how they operate, how to work them… what to say. So if there’s something off with this guy, she’ll know.
“Just be careful,” I remind her. “And be you. You’re always the one in control.”
It takes Kerri a second, but then she nods her head like the realization just dawned on her. “You’re right, Wyld.”
I give her an encouraging grin.
“I’m going to need to flex,” she tells me.
“Like your biceps?” I ask in confusion.
She laughs at me like it’s cute I don’t know what she’s talking about. “No,” she says. “He’s always been in control. And from what little I know of him, I think he’s a pretty powerful player in business. He’s got that vibe, you know?”
“And?” I urge.
“It’s time I show my own power,” she tells me with a devilish smile. “It’s time I flex… If he talks about going to the boxing match, I’ll get ringside seats with VIP entrance into the after party. If he wants pasta, I’ll have Chef Marco DiSanto come and cook us a fucking meal.”
Jamie so flexed me!
“I think that sounds perfect, and it will totally work.” I assure her because it worked on me, but I don’t tell her I totally succumbed to a flex move. I look at the time and realize I have to go before I hit even worse traffic.
“I’ll be home tomorrow night, and we can order pizza and drink your parents’ wine,” I say. “Then we can totally get into the whole Trouble of it all. We’ll analyze the crap out of all of his words and just do the usual crazy kind of shit we do. ”
Kerri smiles at me. “That sounds perfect,” she says, then throws a Kerri zinger. “Have an extra orgasm for me tonight, will you?”
“Eww,” I tell her. “But I probably will have at least a few.”
“I hate you.” Kerri sticks out her tongue.
“I love you. And don’t forget to get Tony some clothes,” I say to her before walking to my Montero.
While I’m sitting in the worst traffic ever on my way to Hidden Hills, I think about how lucky I am to have Kerri—to have Naked Tony even. I laugh at the image that comes to mind.
Then I think about how lucky I am to have Jamie.
I mean, how the hell did that happen? It could have been anyone…
But it was him.
It’s time he hears me say how I feel.