Chapter Twenty-Seven

Rose

 

Although his bed is comfortable, I’m still wide awake, and when I toss and turn for the hundredth time I catch a glimpse of the red numbers flashing on the small clock perched on his bedside table. They read 2:33 a.m. I doubt I’m going to get much sleep, if any. I’m mad Finlay’s been watching me from his window. I’m even more enraged I left my blinds up when undressing … I didn’t know the angle of this room could see into mine—how could I? I’ve not stepped foot in this house before Finlay moved in here and even then, I never broached the upstairs level. How can it be possible for me not to know? Maybe I never looked up? Maybe I never paid attention. Oh God, did our neighbours before Finlay see me too?

I bet he did know it was me he was watching the entire time, and I also bet he knew I lived next door before he even moved in here. Maybe I don’t know Finlay Crossley at all.

Hours pass and I’m restless in thought. I have so many questions I want answered. Throwing the comforter off, quickly followed by the sheeting, I find myself tiptoeing across the soft carpeting before gently pushing the bedroom door open. Is he still awake? I need to know the truth about how he came to be here in this house and why he’s been spying on me.

Creeping to the top of the staircase and down the first three steps, I open my mouth to scream but no noise accompanies it. My mouth hangs wide as I jump with a god-awful fright. There’s a person standing halfway up the staircase I was planning to take down. “Who is that?” My voice shakes.

“Me,” Finlay says, almost apologetic.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, annoyed.

“What are you doing?” He doesn’t sound dozy, as if he’s been asleep—has he been awake this entire time too?

“I have questions.”

“I was coming upstairs to make sure you were asleep and everything was okay.”

“So now you were going to spy on me while I slept? This is just great.” My hands slap against my thighs with my ever-growing frustration.

“No. That’s not what I said.”

“It sounded like it to me.” I know my tone is becoming harsher as we stand in the dark, hashing out this issue.

“It’s not. Fuck, Rose, are you okay or not?” Now he’s getting annoyed.

“No. I’m not,” I say in a hushed snap.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” This man has my thoughts all twisted.

“What do you want, Rose? What is it you want from me?” His tone is strained.

“You. Finlay, I want you,” I murmur.

It’s deathly quiet.

He rushes up the remaining stairs separating us, and without warning, places one of his hands to the back of my head before wrapping the other around my waist.

“Do you want me to kiss you, Rose?” His lips hover an inch from mine.

“Yes,” I breathe.

The slight pause before he tilts his head and softly grazes his lips to mine has my knees weakening, and when he begins applying a gentle pressure, the sensations whizzing around my body like shooting stars heighten. It’s a slow, steady, and controlled ownership of my lips that finds his tongue slipping through a small opening my mouth creates. I moan. I’ve never been kissed in such a way, and I’ve never been held so securely whilst doing so.

My arms hang limp at my sides as Finlay does things with his tongue I never knew one could. If this is what I’ve been missing out on, I’m glad I’m standing here to find out. Abruptly, I’m lifted from below my buttocks, and as my arms instinctively enfold around his neck, my feet also cross over behind his back. He never allows his lips to part from mine as he carries me with such ease, I believe I weigh no more than a piece of paper.

I’m panting when I’m laid with gentle care on his bed, and without hesitation, Finlay climbs over me. He winces slightly from what I believe is the pain from the injuries he sustained.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” He kisses my cheek.

His hands splay out beside my head, and after using his knees to spread my legs wider, he tucks himself in the space.

Holding his weight with one hand has him using the other to rip the thin material covering his upper body over his head. “Rose, are you sure?” he groans when he again hovers above me, this time free of his T-shirt.

“Yes,” I breathe, running my fingertips down his smooth back.

“At any time, you just have to tell me to stop and I will.”

“I know you will.” I’m genuine in my reply as I tuck my thumbs into the waistband of his boxer shorts. He bucks his hips just once.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long, Rose. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop once you allow me.”

“Touch me,” I pant, and with this instruction, I’m pulled into an upright position and seated with my legs parted across his lap.

His lips claim mine as his hand cups my breast and his fingers begin rolling my nipple between them, the silk material acting as a barrier.

I moan into his mouth when his free hand tugs gently on my shoulder, forcing my body to sink down. His hard erection forcefully pushes against me and I can’t control the sudden rotation of my hips against him. The need to have him inside me is stronger than I’ve ever felt before.

Finlay is trying to keep things moving at a slower pace. I can tell by the way he makes long strokes with his fingertips over my skin, but I believe it’s harder than he anticipated, because when he moves down to the hem of my negligee, those fingertips raise the material from my body like a starved lion finally claiming a feed.

Leaning backwards, I press my breasts upwards, and Finlay needs no further invitation to take his tongue and wrap it around one nipple before he begins sucking and nipping. His hands move everywhere and I feel so much desire, I grind against him with pure desperation.

He runs his fingers from my collarbone to the middle of my core and pushes me softly until I fall backwards, and my spine meets the mattress. Finlay hovers over me, gifting me a look I can only explain as dominating before he runs his tongue along my neck and then trails kisses down my body until he stops above the seam of my underwear.

He’s gentle as he slowly lowers the material down my legs, and as I tilt my chin, he stands to remove the underwear from around my ankles.

In one swift movement, his pants are discarded, and for the first time I see him erect. I gasp. He’s big and pierced.

“Are you okay?” Finlay’s breath skims my inner thigh as he trails kisses.

I don’t answer because I find I’m unable to speak a single word, let alone string together a coherent sentence. He slips his tongue between my folds, causing my back to arch. He’s tenderly tasting me, as if he’s sampling a fine cuisine.

I moan.

He rolls his tongue in such a way that I jolt from the sensation. The growl vibrating in my throat passes through my lips. I can’t take it, so I shift away. A soft trail of butterfly kisses goes around my belly button and travels farther upwards until it stops at my breasts.

Finlay stiffens upright before he takes my hand and runs it down his stomach until I’m holding his erection in my hand. “There are piercings, Rose. I know you saw them earlier. Your eyes said everything you didn’t. There are three in total. You’ll like it, I promise. Feel.”

Cupping my hand around him, I let my fingers explore these piercings. It’s a different sensation, but a good different. Letting go has Finlay hovering over me once more, and when my legs are spread even wider than previously, he says, “Do you need me to wear protection, Rose, or are we fine if I don’t?”

“I’m on the injections.”

Running his tongue across my earlobe, he whispers, “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“I believe you,” I pant out in desire.

He places himself against my opening, and I still when the tip slips just inside me. He takes my lips to his before tilting back his head so he can gaze into my eyes. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

Inch by inch, he pushes into me. He’s in no hurry and allows me time to adjust to his size as he nestles inside. “Rose,” he groans as he begins a slow withdrawal followed by a quick re-entry that has my head launching into the crook of his neck and a lengthy moan vibrating in my throat.

“God, you feel good.”

I pant.

Every movement is timed with differing amounts of force, and with each one, I’m taken to a new level of pleasure. Finlay takes his time getting to know my body, and I’m in a euphoria I’ve never experienced before—he is more than attentive. He bucks his hips, launching harder into me, and again, I throw my head deep into his neck. He wasn’t lying about his piercings. They’re eliciting a completely different heightened sensation.

“Stay with me, Rose,” he grunts before his lips press to mine and he bucks his hips in an even more forceful way.

“Oh my God,” I cry out, completely overwhelmed from a sudden fuzziness in my brain. “Fin,” I pant.

He stills. “Soon, Rose,” he whispers, whilst cradling the back of my head. When he gently bites my earlobe, I cup his arse and desperately try to pull him deeper into me.

He circles his hips in one direction then changes to the other before he almost withdraws and launches forwards with one fast motion. I cry out from pure ecstasy.

Our bodies still as he remains buried deep within me. “Rose.” It’s all but a hush when he re-starts his movements. At first they’re slow, but soon he quickens the pace along with the force. My muscles tense and as my climax builds, my heart races. Every single groan he makes has my back arching more and my head sinking into the bedding.

“Fin. Fin,” I call with urgency, when my legs begin to tremble and squeeze like a vice against his outer thighs.

“Rose,” he groans before he launches into me with such force, my arse presses downwards and my breath releases from my wide-open mouth in one long star-inducing release that sees me sinking into a deep abyss.

I’m floating in space, completely weightless and free of all burdens, and the further I drift, the simpler everything seems. I want to reside in this place forever, but as quickly as I’m swept away, I’m brought back to him. My lashes flicker open, and just as they do, Finlay’s head throws back, and I shiver when a primal roar escapes him on release.

I’m not sure how this happened, but I’m sure I want to do this again without too much time elapsing.

Cradled in his strong arms, I feel safe against his warm body … I feel worshipped, as if I’m the most valued prize one could receive, and with every soft kiss to my shoulder blade, I find myself sighing. Tears brim in my eyes, and although I try to contain them, they spring free and I sob.

“Rose, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He appears concerned.

“No.” I frantically try to wipe away the flowing liquid.

“Why are you crying?” He shifts to lean over me.

“I’ve never felt anything like this in my life.”

“Me neither,” he admits, rolling me onto my back and using his thumb to wipe under my eyes. “It’s just all your stress releasing. Don’t fight it, Rose. You’re safe here.”

“Okay.” I continue to sob.

“Let me go and get you a towel and we’ll wash up, okay?”

“Okay.” I sniffle.

After one soft kiss to my lips, Finlay rolls off the bed, and whilst he’s gone, I stare at the ceiling and take long, steady inhales.

“The shower’s running. Here, take my hand.” He’s assertive on his return.

Stretching my arms wide, my eyes flutter open, and for a moment, I’m lost in my surroundings before I quickly realise where I am. I’m in Finlay Crossley’s bed after he spent the night taking me on a sexual exploration. Expecting to see him peacefully sleeping when I roll over, I’m startled when his side of the bed is bare. I couldn’t have dreamt a night like that, could I? The crumpled sheets in front of me are enough to convince me I didn’t dream it, but also enough for me to recognise he was here until he was not. He’s gone.

Showering for what will be the fourth time in eight hours, I change into a sleeveless dusty pink blouse and a tight knee-length black skirt. Normally I’d sit and open my makeup kit and apply the usual products to my face, but this morning I don’t. Instead, I stroll unshod down the staircase, expecting Finlay to be waiting. He’s not.

“Good morning, Rose.” Tessa smiles as I approach the breakfast bar.

“Good morning, Tessa.” I shift my eyes in every direction looking for Finlay, but he’s like the thin air—not visible.

“If you’re looking for Fin, he’s gone to work.” Her smile grows wider.

“Oh, work. Yes.” I take rest on one of the stools, puzzled as to why he didn’t wake me before he left, and tense that I’ve been left with Tessa. I’m still not sure if she’s a fan of mine or not.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did, thank you.”

“Excellent. Have you any plans today?” Tessa grabs the handle on the fridge, opening it wide to remove a carton of orange juice.

“No. I’ve nothing planned.” It’s a strange realisation for me, because every day of my life has been filled with lessons and engagements.

“Good. Maybe we can get to know each other better.”

“I’d like that.” I’m relieved she’s not planning to ignore me, at least.

Handing me a glass filled to the brim with orange juice, Tessa says, “Would you like something to eat?”

“No, thank you.”

Tessa pulls a stand on wheels holding her oxygen tank behind her, and she leaves the room. I don’t follow.

There are four material-covered chairs set up on the back deck, and without thought, I sit gently on one. Scanning the large, open, and relatively bare landscape, I think back to the night I came to stand in this yard after consuming alcohol and losing a bet I’d put into place myself. I wonder if I knew then I’d be where I am now. I don’t believe I did.

“Rose.” Her voice is sweet, and when I rotate my head towards the bi-fold doors I’d not long exited, I’m met by a lady of what I believe to be Mexican descent due to the features. “I’m Caterina, one of Tessa’s nurses. Look, I’m sorry to do this, but I really need to leave now, and Deidre, who is taking over from my shift, has been caught in traffic. It’s actually her first day. Would you mind keeping an eye on Tessa until she gets here? Tess said you were hanging around.”

“I’d be happy to. Where is she?” I twist the remainder of my body in line with my neck.

“She’s in the media room.” Caterina’s smile is kind as her eyes narrow.

“Okay, thanks. Enjoy your day, Caterina.”

“Thank you, you’re a lifesaver.”

I smile.

Heading back inside, I search for my phone in Fin’s bedroom and attempt to call Maranda back, something I didn’t do last night. It goes straight to her voice mail. I don’t leave a message. Walking past the media room, I duck my head in to check on Tess. It’s dark, however not so dark I’m unable to see Tessa’s silhouette seated in a chair close to the large screen.

“Tessa, it’s Rose. Do you want anything?”

“You could sit with me.”

“Okay.”

I sit beside Tessa, and without shifting her eyes to me, she asks, “Would you like to watch a horror, comedy or action film?”

“Oh, I’m not bothered either way. However, I don’t react well after watching intense or scary films.”

“Nightmares?”

Is she mocking me?

“Yes. I suffer nightmares from seeing them, Tessa.”

“I figured you were this type.”

“I’m a type?”

“Yes. Let me see—you are more of a romance and silver lining type of viewer.”

“If we’re being honest, Tessa, I don’t think I have a type at all, considering I barely have time for viewing films and such.”

“I see. You live a very strict and well-managed existence, don’t you?”

“You could say that.” I sigh.

“I know. How about we don’t watch a film, and instead we do some baking? Do you like to bake, Rose?” Tessa finally twists her neck towards me.

“Sadly, no. I’m not sure I’ve baked a meal in my adult life.” It’s the truth. I’ve always had chefs to prepare my menu.

“Well, no better time for starting than the present, I say.” Her hand comes to lie tenderly against my arm.

Tessa busies herself gathering the ingredients for what she informs me is Fin’s favourite dessert, apple strudel. She also assures me she’ll have me mastering such a dessert in no time. She seems to know her way around a kitchen.

“Rose, all you need to do is slide the bowl under the mixers and lock it into place. It’s not rocket science.” Tessa smiles when she begins measuring flour into a jug.

“Okay.” I puff out my cheeks, feeling completely out of my element.

“If there’s one thing I’m sure of, Rose, is that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so a woman should know her way around a kitchen.” A sly wink follows.

“Were you married?” I’m not sure why I ask this.

“Oh, no, dear. I didn’t have time for many men in my life. I had children who needed me, and let’s face it, those children were ninety-nine percent of the time fearful of males, so it wasn’t on the cards for me.”

“You never fell in love?”

“I did, once upon a time, but it wasn’t meant to be, and in my early thirties I started work with an outreach organisation where I found myself responsible for the care of a child who was severely disabled with only months to live out the remainder of her life. Oh, Jordyn …” Tessa seems to drift away in her head to a very happy place, because her eyes light up. “She was a pretty little thing. That child deserved to be cherished for the remainder of her days, not beaten to a pulp.”

I gasp.

“It’s a way of life for many, Rose. Try not to be so shocked.”

“I just can’t even fathom such––”

“I know. I couldn’t either.”

“What do you mean?” I’m curious by this statement.

Tess swivels on her heel, and when her eyes meet mine she says, “Once upon a time, there was a young lady who had all the finest things in life. She needed for nothing and asked for everything. One day, this lady fled a strictly controlled environment for a chance at a life belonging to herself … She found it, Rose, and she never regretted it a day in her life.”

“Tess,” I breathe.

“Yes, Rose. She was me.”

I almost lose my footing and fall backwards over my own feet. I clutch onto Tessa’s arm. “Does Finlay know this about you?”

“No. He doesn’t and he never will, will he, Rose?” She’s not asking—she’s instructing me that this is a secret I will keep.

“No. I will never speak a word.” I’m not sure why tears well in my eyes. All I know is they do, and I find myself swallowing incredibly hard to keep them from falling.

“I once had a Slade of my own, you know, Rose. He’s the one I was running away from, and my family. I also once had a man just like Finlay, but I couldn’t stay with him …”

“Why?” Do I want to know the answer?

“Because he wasn’t strong enough to make it to the good part of the story with me. I had much to learn and much to figure out about myself, and he lacked the patience, I think, to wait for me while I figured out who I was and what life was about. After all, it’s very hard to do such a thing when the people you’re running away from won’t rest until you are returned.”

“I can’t stay here with Fin even if I wanted to, can I?” The tears I tried desperately to contain leak from my eyes before sliding down my cheeks.

“Dear, I can’t tell you what you should do. I can only advise you from my own past experiences. You often need to escape for yourself and figure out who you are before you go jumping into the heart of another man.”

My heart thrums.

“Rose, when and if you do figure it all out, then you’ll know if the one you leave behind truly loves you because, I promise, he’ll be waiting for you.”

“The man you loved didn’t wait, did he?”

“No.” It’s all but a hush. “Now, we’ll finish baking this strudel and you can tell me what you would like to eat for lunch?” Tessa asks with a strained tone.

Using the backs of my hands, I brush at my cheeks. “I’d love steak.” I half cry and half laugh.