Gil was glad that Mr. Croydon had finally made the decision to hire a separate valet so that he could concentrate on business. It wasn’t that he didn’t like helping Alex dress in the morning, not that he required much help, or that he found mending seams and polishing shoes burdensome. But business was more exciting, it was what he had been educated to do, and there was more room for advancement in that portion of his job. All the same, he pored over Alex’s wardrobe with care and a discriminating eye when it came to deciding which articles of clothing were still serviceable and which could be given to Winterberry Park’s servants or donated.

It was a relief when Mrs. Croydon and James returned from their cold walk, and the family gathered in the library to spend their afternoon together. It meant he could leave the wardrobe and his own, disturbing thoughts and move to the library, company, and distraction. He’d played over his encounter with Ruby too many times during his lonely work, questioning if he was right to keep her at arm’s length or whether she deserved a second chance. If only there were an easy answer to that question. At the rate he was going, he would never find peace again.

“Here’s the inventory list, sir,” he said, sending James a wink as he crossed the library to where Alex stood, perusing one of the shelves as though looking for a book to read.

“Ah, thank you, Phillips.” Alex turned from the shelf as Gil handed him the list.

“Mr. Phillips, we saw swans,” James announced, jumping off the couch where Mrs. Croydon was reading a story to him. He came to a stop in front of Gil. “They looked cold.”

“I’m sure they were a little cold, Master James,” Gil said with a smile. “Swans always forget to wear their mufflers when they go out.”

James laughed. Gil checked with Mrs. Croydon to make sure she wasn’t put out by the informal interaction. She was all smiles, which put Gil at ease. He liked Mrs. Croydon. She was the best thing that had happened to Alex since he’d started working for the man years ago. And the way she had championed Ruby….

Gil straightened, clearing his throat and losing his smile. No matter what he did, thoughts of Ruby followed him. And with those thoughts came mountains of emotions that left him tangled and confused. His heart insisted she deserved his sympathy. More than just that. Her life had been impossibly hard, and she couldn’t be held responsible for most of what had happened to her. But his head argued that she’d been given the chance of a lifetime and had wasted it. She’d caused so much harm to the Croydon family in the autumn in spite of the opportunities they’d given her, and that couldn’t be forgiven. And other parts of him…. Well, other parts wanted what any red-blooded male wanted.

“I despise purchasing new shoes,” Alex grumbled behind him, shaking Gil out of his thoughts.

He turned, cursing himself for being distracted yet again and forcing himself to focus. “Sir?”

Alex sighed and handed the inventory list back to him. “It appears as though we’ll be making a visit to Oxford Street when we return to London next week.”

“Sir.” Gil nodded. Uneasiness spilled through him. He’d forgotten their return to London was so imminent. That in itself was a sure sign he was distracted beyond what was good for him. There was a mountain of preparations to be made. At least those preparations would require his full attention. And once they were in London, he’d be too busy with Alex’s parliamentary business to worry about Ruby.

He turned to leave, eager to dive into some sort of work that would take all of his energy, but before he could go two steps, Mrs. Musgrave stormed into the room.

“Mr. Croydon, sir,” she began without waiting for acknowledgement, which irritated Gil to no end. “And Mrs. Croydon,” Mrs. Musgrave added. “I need to speak with both of you on a matter of utmost urgency.”

Alex and Mrs. Croydon exchanged a surprised look. Gil swayed on his spot, wondering if he should leave to give his employers privacy or if they would need him to assist with whatever Mrs. Musgrave had to say.

The decision was made for him when Mrs. Musgrave charged on with, “Ruby Murdoch must be dismissed at once.”

Gil’s heart dropped to his feet. He tensed reflexively, his instinct to come to Ruby’s rescue almost overpowering. But sense kept his mouth shut and told him to listen to whatever the housekeeper had to say.

Mrs. Croydon stood. “Mrs. Musgrave,” she began in a soothing tone, wearing a patient smile. “You know that Ruby is here for very special reasons. She is under our protection after enduring a great deal of hardship.”

Mrs. Musgrave’s expression remained firm and fiery. “It has come to my attention, ma’am, that those hardships involve being arrested for the crime of prostitution.” Her voice rose to an indignant squeak that was highly unlike the stern housekeeper’s usual manner.

Mrs. Croydon and Alex exchanged a look that was both knowing and sheepish, as though they’d been caught pulling one over on their staff.

“We are aware of Miss Murdoch’s past,” Alex said, though he didn’t look as sympathetic to it as Mrs. Croydon did.

Mrs. Musgrave blinked at him in astonishment. “Forgive me, sir, but you knowingly set a viper loose amongst my staff?”

“Ruby isn’t a viper,” Mrs. Croydon insisted, stepping toward Mrs. Musgrave with a frustrated frown. “She is a sweet woman who has been through so, so much.”

Gil’s heart leapt in agreement, but he clenched his jaw, mirroring Alex’s unsettled frown.

“All the same,” Mrs. Musgrave said, looking as though she were trying to master her temper in front of her employers, “it is completely and utterly unheard of for a woman of such low character to work in a respectable house such as this. Now that the rest of the staff has learned of her despicable past—” Gil’s gut clenched at the revelation. “—I insist that she be removed.”

“Has she caused trouble with the staff?” Mrs. Croydon asked.

“The knowledge of her past has caused a stir, ma’am,” Mrs. Musgrave answered.

“But has she provoked direct conflict with any members of the staff, the maids or the footmen?” Mrs. Croydon pressed on.

Mrs. Musgrave clenched her hands into fists at her sides. “She has not, but now that her true nature is known, I have no doubt it will only be a matter of time before order is disrupted below-stairs.”

“But order has been maintained in the many months since she first came here,” Mrs. Croydon argued.

A crackling silence followed as Mrs. Musgrave pursed her lips and looked as though she were praying for patience. Gil felt caught between two tidal waves himself, and as much as he wanted to leap into the situation to smooth things over, he didn’t have a clue which of the women he sided with.

At last, Mrs. Musgrave drew in a breath and said, “I simply don’t see how you can, in good conscience, ma’am, with all due respect and deference, continue to give employment to a woman who was instrumental in the…difficulties Master James faced several months ago.”

Lightning could have struck and no one in the room would have noticed. James glanced up from the papers he was scribbling on at the table, but he wasn’t interested in what the adults were talking about. Alex’s frown had grown dark, etching his face with lines. Gil recognized the signs of the man’s internal conflict as he rubbed his chin. Mrs. Croydon looked as though she were ready to scream.

The silence was only broken when Alex let out a breath and said, “If Miss Murdoch’s presence is causing so much upset downstairs, perhaps we should dismiss her.”

Gil nearly choked. His heart pounded with horror at the idea of Ruby disappearing from his life, drowning out every rational and reasonable argument of his head.

Mrs. Croydon looked every bit as alarmed as he felt. “You can’t just cast Ruby aside. Not after everything she’s been through.” She crossed the room to argue with Alex directly. “She depends on us. Without our help, what would become of her?”

“I know, my love,” Alex said, resting his hands on her arms and fixing her with a loving but frustrated look. “I know you care about Miss Murdoch’s welfare, but Mrs. Musgrave has a point. I can’t think of any house of our standing that would hire a woman with Miss Murdoch’s background, no matter what the circumstances.”

“She’ll end up back at the workhouse, or worse,” Mrs. Croydon insisted, causing Gil’s stomach to turn with the truth of the whole thing. “We can’t abandon her.”

“I fear you will have a heavy burden of staff resignations on your hands if you do not dismiss the woman, sir,” Mrs. Musgrave added from across the room. Gil shot her a scowl that she didn’t notice before going on with, “Including my own.” She tilted her chin up in defiance.

Alex sighed, rubbing his wife’s arms before letting her go. “If Mrs. Murdoch and others leave and word gets out as to why, we will have a devil of a time replacing them,” he told Mrs. Croydon.

“It’s not fair,” Mrs. Croydon whispered back, just loud enough for Gil to hear. She blinked rapidly, suggesting she was fighting back tears. “It simply isn’t fair that, after all Ruby has endured, she would be forced out of the protection of the only people who care about her.”

Mrs. Croydon’s words were like a knife in Gil’s heart. He should be the one caring for Ruby, his heart argued. He’d felt that from the moment he’d gone with her to her pitiful attic room and warmed her with his coat. He’d felt it again when he’d taken her out of the workhouse, when he’d suggested she be moved to Wiltshire instead of kept in London. He’d wanted to wrap her in the mantel of his protection…until James was taken.

His head forced its way back into the argument. It didn’t matter how sweet Ruby was, how much he wanted her, or how good it felt to be her champion. She’d done something unforgivably wrong. Her lapse in judgement could have been fatal to a child.

Alex let out a tense breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “Marigold, I love you. You know I do. But we’ve reached the end of the line. We simply cannot keep Miss Murdoch employed at Winterberry Park, or at Croydon House, without suffering dire consequences.”

“I won’t let you throw her out on the streets,” Mrs. Croydon argued, her lower lip quivering.

“Perhaps we won’t have to,” Alex said.

Gil stood a little straighter, straining to overhear his employer’s conversation. Mrs. Musgrave leaned forward, still glowering, to listen as well.

“We can’t keep Ruby,” Alex said, “but we don’t have to throw her out on the streets. We could find another position for her, someplace respectable and willing to take her on in spite of her past.”

Mrs. Croydon studied him, her eyes narrowed. “What kind of a place could that be?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know, but we could find something, I’m sure. Perhaps a smaller house in the country or a factory of some sort. We may even be able to find a position for her in a shop. But I assure you, we won’t toss her out cold.”

“But sir,” Mrs. Musgrave started.

“That is my decision,” Alex said to her. By the frown he sent her, Gil could tell that, in spite of being right, Mrs. Musgrave wouldn’t come out of the confrontation without scars. Alex stepped away from Mrs. Croydon, approaching the housekeeper. “Miss Murdoch will be dismissed, but not before an adequate position for her is found. Until then, she will remain as James’s nursemaid, and she will not be harassed downstairs. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Mrs. Musgrave dropped a tight curtsy, her jaw rock hard with frustration. “Will you be needing anything else, sir?”

“No, thank you.” Alex nodded to her.

Mrs. Musgrave turned and stomped out of the room. Alex pivoted to face Mrs. Croydon, but sent a look Gil’s way as he did. A flash of guilt hit Gil. He shouldn’t have stayed to listen to the whole exchange, but one, brief look from Alex told him his employer understood exactly why he’d remained glued to the spot. Alex knew he’d been harboring complicated feelings for Ruby, though they’d never discussed it. However, there was no way for him to know how much more complicated those feelings had just become.

With a subtle nod to Alex, Gil marched out of the room. He let out a breath when he reached the hall, surprised that the ache in his gut didn’t diminish. The tension didn’t drain from his shoulders either. One way or another, it looked as though he was about to lose Ruby. Which was as it should be, considering her offenses. And yet, as logical as it was for him to get her out of his mind and move on with his life, the very thought filled him with misery.

He didn’t realize that his footsteps were taking him up two flights of stairs and around the corner to the nursery until he found himself standing inside of the open doorway. Ruby sat at James’s miniature table, crouched in one of his chairs, sewing something on bright blue fabric. Her face was red and splotchy, and she sniffled as she worked. Clearly, she’d been crying. That fact, added to the turmoil of everything he’d just overheard, made Gil’s insides feel like a hurricane.

“Where’s Faith?” he asked, stepping into the room.

Ruby gasped, sniffling harder and dropping her needle. She wiped her face quickly. “She’s napping.”

Gil glanced to the basinet in the corner for a moment, then fixed his gaze on Ruby, walking deeper into the room. He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to say. Hell, he didn’t know what he wanted to say in the first place.

“Hard day?” he asked.

Ruby blinked at him as if trying to figure out whether he’d make it better or add to it. She nodded.

Gil came to a stop beside the table and swallowed. “I was just down in the library.” He paused. An unaccountable pain radiated through his chest. “Mrs. Musgrave was in there demanding the Croydons sack you.”

Ruby sniffed wetly and nodded. She lowered her head, picking up her needle and resuming her sewing. “I should finish this before they come to kick me out,” she said, barely above a whisper. “Master James will need it for the winter concert in a few days.”

“They aren’t kicking you out today,” Gil told her.

Ruby snapped her wide eyes up to him. “They’re not?”

The exhaustion of the war between his head and his heart descended on Gil like a sack of bricks. He pulled out one of the child-sized chairs at James’s table and sank to sit in it. His knees shot up at odd angles, and his arms felt longer than usual as he rubbed his face with both hands. “How did we get into this mess, Ruby?”

There was a pause before she said, “We are not in any mess. I am in a mess because the world is an unkind place to anyone unfortunate enough to be born poor and a woman.”

Gil glanced up from his hands to stare at her. If he had said them, those words would have been full of spite and bitterness, but Ruby spoke them with a sigh of resignation. Her eyes were still on her sewing and her shoulders hunched with defeat. He opened his mouth to say…he didn’t know what. No words came, so he closed his mouth and rested his elbows on his knees, shaking his head.

“I don’t understand how you can be so calm about this.”

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. “I’m not calm,” she insisted, a spark of defiance in her eyes. But only a spark. “I am anything but calm. When I leave here, I have nowhere to go.” She lowered her head and resumed sewing. “I’ll be dead within a year.”

“You won’t.” Gil was surprised by the vehemence in his tone. He wanted to tell her that he would save her, that he wouldn’t let it come to that. His heart swelled with longing, but what he ended up saying was, “Mr. Croydon said that he wouldn’t dismiss you from this house until he and Mrs. Croydon found another position for you.”

Ruby glanced up, surprise making her face pink. “He did?” her voice wavered.

Gil nodded. “And I wouldn’t let you die.”

The silence that fell between them was prickly. She studied him as though trying to judge whether he could be believed. Finally, she resumed sewing once again. “You can’t put yourself at risk to save me.”

As desperately as Gil wanted to argue the point, she was righter than he wanted her to be. He’d worked hard, harder than most other men, to claw his way up from poverty and the stigma of being half Irish to earn his position with Mr. Croydon. And as long as the doubt about Ruby’s part in James’s kidnapping lingered, he would always question whether he should be loyal to the woman who could have destroyed so much for the man who was responsible for his position today.

“Fortunately, it won’t come to that,” he said at last. “But I’d be careful around Mrs. Musgrave and the rest of the staff until Mr. Croydon does find you somewhere else to go.”

“I’m always careful,” Ruby said without looking up. “I have to be. Now.”

Gil frowned, uncertain what she meant or why the sadness in her eyes had taken on a guilty hue. He wanted to ask her about it, to get her to open up and talk to him the way she had before James was taken. For months, they’d been close. He’d started having ideas about building a future together. It had felt so wonderful, so right.

Now, all he had was questions and a clock ticking away the time they had left together.

“I’m returning to London with the Croydons next week,” he said.

She didn’t look up. “Yes, I know. Mrs. Croydon hasn’t decided whether James should stay here or go to London with them.”

“James has only been to London the one time,” Gil said.

Neither of them said more. There was no telling how poor James would react to returning to the place that had been such a nightmare for him. He’d been miserable the whole time he was there in the autumn, even after being rescued. Even if he did go with the Croydons, Ruby might not go with them. Gil might never see her again.

The silence between them stretched on. There had to be something he could say, something that would bridge the gap between him, something that would let Ruby know he did care about her, even if he couldn’t go back to the way things had been. But no words came to mind. No thoughts either. For once, both his head and his heart were silent, leaving him lost.

“You don’t have to stay,” she said at last. “I’m sure you have other things to do.”

Gil glanced to the inventory of Alex’s clothes on the table. He hadn’t remembered having it with him when he entered the room or putting it down, but it served as a reminder that responsibilities awaited him.

“I should go downstairs to fetch James soon anyhow,” Ruby continued. “Seeing as I’m not to be cast out immediately. I’ll do my best to look surprised when the Croydons tell me my fate.”

She still didn’t look up at him.

“Ruby, I—” Gil blew out a breath. His words, his thoughts, his emotions, all of them were as frozen solid as the countryside around them, with no sign of a thaw in sight. The only thing he could do was stand, frustration dripping off him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish everything were different.”

She glanced up at him at last, defeated. “So do I, but they aren’t. It’s all right.”

It wasn’t all right. Not a bit. But there was nothing Gil could do about it but turn and leave the room to get on with things.