Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sam stayed in the car while Garrett went to get their room. As he walked away, she started feeling nervous. What would she do if he kept walking? What if he didn’t come back, and she never saw him again?
Yes, maybe she was being paranoid for tonight. But at some point, she fully expected him to bail on her. Turn her over to some other marshal to deal with. Or simply hand her a new identity and say, “Have a nice life.”
No job was worth risking his life for hers. She understood that.
After a few minutes, he came back out with a worried look.
“What’s the matter?” she asked immediately.
“Nothing. It’ll be fine.”
He didn’t look fine. Without another word, he got back in the car and parked in front of room 118. It wasn’t far from where they were already parked. The lot was pretty full.
She noticed every detail, now that he’d said things would be fine. His nervousness made her on edge. She gripped her gun tighter and waited for all hell to break loose.
“What is with you? Why are you so tense?” he asked with a frown.
“Because you said it would be fine.”
He blinked. “Does fine mean something different to you than it does to the rest of the world? Fine means good. Everything’s good.” He muttered something to himself she couldn’t hear, then said, “I think you’re starting to crack. Put your gun away. It’s fine.”
She did what he said. Maybe if she followed his simpler instructions, he wouldn’t mind as much when she didn’t cooperate on the bigger issues.
Probably not.
They unloaded the car and she helped hold his stuff as he inserted the key card and opened the door.
He snapped on the television as soon as he had a free hand, like any red-blooded male. He flipped through the channels, landing on CNN. After adjusting the volume, he sat on the small sofa and kicked off his boots.
She noticed he was moving much more easily than the night before. And his color was good. Apparently, she hadn’t done a bad job of fixing him up.
She sat next to him and pulled her legs up under her. It was late, but after sleeping most of the day, she was wide awake.
The news was depressing. All her life, she’d heard that no matter the situation, someone else was worse off. She’d thought she’d cornered the market on worse things, but she was wrong. At least she was only pretending to be dead. She wasn’t actually dead. She was grateful when Garrett changed the channel.
As he continued to scan through the channels nervously. She started freaking out again. What was up with him?
Something was definitely wrong, and he wasn’t telling her.
She didn’t like surprises even when they were good ones. And Garrett’s surprises were never good.
“I’m going to go shower,” she announced, needing to get away.
“You didn’t ask, but I’m planning to sleep on the sofa. They only had this one room left.”
For the first time, her gaze strayed to the king-size bed. She truly hadn’t noticed. After last night with one bed, it seemed normal.
“You won’t fit on the couch,” she said. “But if you’re that worried I’ll try to seduce you, suit yourself.” She rummaged through her bag to find something to sleep in.
“I thought you might be worried about me trying something,” he said.
She genuinely laughed. “No. I know I don’t have to worry about that.”
He was all about the rules. It was obvious she was the weaker link. Even after what he’d said in his drugged state, she knew he wouldn’t give in to temptation.
She showered and put on her yoga pants and T-shirt. That was what she wore to bed normally. She wasn’t trying to start anything. Honest.
He was in bed when she came out of the bathroom. The bed was enormous. She didn’t know what he was so worried about—even if they reached for each other they probably wouldn’t touch. And he definitely wouldn’t be reaching for her.
Mainly because he was already asleep.
She cracked the drapes to let some light in from the parking lot. Four men were standing around a sedan. She watched them for a full ten minutes to make sure they really were just drunk and hanging out.
This was no way to live. Constantly watching. Always on alert. Instinctively planning an escape.
And what if it was all for nothing? What if Howe’s guys stormed their room in an hour while she and Garrett were both asleep?
Sam climbed into bed from the other side, trying not to jiggle it too much as she got situated, and slid closer to Garrett. She wanted to be near him. She couldn’t protect him if he was across the room.
She placed her gun on the nightstand and relaxed.
Or tried to.
In the dark, she stared up at the shadows on the ceiling, trying to make her brain stop. Her mind seemed intent on replaying every event of the last few days. From that kiss on the training mat to ending up here.
She twisted the wedding ring on her finger and glanced over to see the matching one on Garrett’s finger. She knew it was only pretend, but it felt nice.
“Why didn’t you want to go to that party?” he asked.
His voice startled her in the darkness. She’d thought he was asleep.
Her pulse sped. “Huh?”
“You told me the only thing you had to worry about before all of this was getting out of going to some party. Why didn’t you want to go?”
“Oh.” She took a calming breath, and tried to remember all the way back to that other life.
“You don’t like parties?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t mind so much when Lance and I were together. I could go to a party and not care that no one noticed me or hit on me. I could smugly sip my beer because I had a boyfriend and I didn’t need anyone else. Even if he wasn’t at the party with me, I knew I had someone. But after we broke up—”
“You mean after he dumped you. Don’t give him the honor of making it sound like he did any of that properly.”
“Okay. After he dumped me, the idea of going to a party was awful. Nikki would try to hook me up with someone. I was worried I’d be rejected.” She shifted onto her side to face Garrett. “Although, I probably wouldn’t have gotten into a shootout at a party.”
He laughed. “The way your month’s been going?”
“Yeah, right,” she said with a snicker. After a moment, she said, “I get it, you know. Why you have rules about not getting involved with the people you’re protecting. But I’m twenty-six. I know the truth by now.”
“What truth is that?”
She turned and looked back up at the ceiling. “I have a mirror. I know I don’t fill out my jeans and my shirts like the women you probably date.”
He was quiet for so long, she thought maybe he’d fallen asleep again. “You know what I hate most about your ex-boyfriend?” he finally said.
“What?”
“That you don’t think of yourself as beautiful or sexy, which can only mean he never told you. Anyone who could touch you and hold you in his arms, and not tell you how amazing you are, is a fucking moron.”
Garrett turned toward her. She could just make out his expression in the light from the window as she considered his words. Yes, he’d told her she was pretty, but he’d been out of it. It didn’t count.
His brows creased in confusion. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I want you so bad I hate myself, but I’m trying to do the right thing? Don’t you think I’d jump at the chance to be with you again?”
A nice sentiment, but he hadn’t touched her. His perfect lips were saying one thing, but his actions were saying something else entirely.
“I have nothing to offer you, Sam. I can’t make you any promises. When you’re finally safe, I’ll have to go back to my job and you’ll have to start a whole new life. I don’t want to mess that up for you.”
“I understand.”
The room was silent as she thought about what he was saying. That they had no future together.
But the truth was, she might not have a future, at all. Howe’s men could find them tonight and kill her in her sleep.
And she would die wishing she could have been with Garrett just one more time.
She didn’t want that.
She moved toward him until she found him. The bed was so big, it seemed like she was swimming through sheets forever before she touched his warm skin.
She wasted no time. She found his mouth and kissed him.
“Sam—” His breath was sweet and hot across her lips.
“I heard what you said. I promise I don’t expect anything long term. But right now, I don’t know if I’ll even get a chance to start a new life. I want you.” She paused. “Can’t we pretend things are different? Just for tonight?”
He didn’t answer. At least not with words. Instead, he pulled her against him.
And kissed her.