“Will, get your shit. We’re going.” I wake him with a foot to his back, kicking him lightly as I whisper-yell at him.
He grumbles, “What the fuck, Micky? It’s still dark. Go away.”
“I’m leaving. Are you coming or not?” I say, close to his ear.
His eyes pop open, shooting to my face. “Like, leaving?”
I nod, and he bolts out of bed, grabs his pack off the floor and starts stuffing clothes, deodorant, his laptop, charging cables, and shoes inside. “Where are we going?” he asks, speaking quietly like I did. Pulling the bottom draw of his dresser all the way out then he reaches up inside, feeling around for something.
“You’ll see. What are you doing? Hurry up.”
He doesn’t argue, and when he pulls his hand out of the draw he’s holding a fist full of cash. Will’s brows waggle, “I’ve been waiting for this day, Micky,” he says putting the cash inside an internal pocket in his pack.
We’re nearly at the front door when Daniel rolls out of bed and into the hallway. Fuck. I stare him down.
His eyes narrow on the pack in Will’s hand. “Going somewhere?”
“I’m taking him away for the weekend. Got a problem?” I tell our brother.
Daniel watches me carefully, “Bradshaw know?”
“Does he care?” I shoot back.
Not even Daniel can dispute the lack of fucks our father gives about us. As long as we’re around when he wants us to carry out his dirty work, Dad’s happy. Outside of that, we’re dead to him. Nothing more than his gophers, his enforcers, his shit kickers. He thinks that sharing his blood is enough to ensure our loyalty. And for me, it was, until now.
I’ve done what I can to protect Will from him, taken on extra menial duties just to keep him away from it all. But Daniel, he likes it. The only reason I am Bradshaw’s main enforcer is because I’m the oldest. I tried to protect Daniel from the dark tasks our father expected us to perform for him too, but it was no use. He wanted it—still does. And I can’t figure out why. What’s different in him to me and Will?
Daniel finally nods, slapping his hand against the doorframe of his room. “Yeah, okay, whatever. You’re lucky I was already awake, or I would have had to kick your arses.” He chuckles.
Glancing at my watch, I see it’s only five-forty. “It’s still dark out.” I frown. “Why are you up so early?”
He yawns. “He’s got me looking for that blonde bitch. Apparently, she isn’t at her apartment anymore. Going to check out the bodyguard’s place, his wanky brother’s, and wherever else I can think of. Got any suggestions?”
Keeping my expression neutral, I shrug. “He got any safe houses on the books?” I know that guy isn’t stupid enough to take her anywhere traceable, so I don’t feel like I’m betraying my sister by giving this to Daniel.
He nods. “Yeah, I’ll look into it.” He turns to return to his bedroom when he pauses and faces me again. “Why doesn’t the old man have you on this? You’ve been running point throughout, so why not now?”
I snort. “Fuck me, he probably thinks I’m compromised because I was at the little meet-and-greet he had with those guys, and they were dribbling shit about knowing who my mother is and some other crap. One of them gave me a business card and told me to call him. Like I give a shit about the woman who abandoned me without a second glance,” I scoff.
Daniel rolls his eyes. “After all these years, the fucker still doesn’t trust us. He’s our father—he looked after us, kept us clothed and fed. Why would we betray him over some whore he fucked who dumped a baby on him?”
Nodding, I lift a shoulder. “Right? Anyway, I’m takin’ the chance to get outta here for a few days, get some fresh air. Get this one out of his fuckin’ room,” I say, scruffing up Will’s hair.
Will punches my shoulder. “Knock it off, assface.”
Shoving him towards the door, I tell him, “Go to the car. I’ll be out in a minute.”
He watches me, looking for something. I give him nothing but a nod to the door I’m pushing him through.
When Will is outside, I turn back to Daniel. I owe him a chance to come with us. “You ever think about walkin’ away from the old man? Doin’ your own thing?”
He scratches his temple. “Sometimes, but we’ve got it pretty good here. I mean, we live in a fucking mini mansion, we have a cook, a woman that cleans up after us, and a full bank account. If all I have to do to keep that is take care of a few loose ends for him, that’s fine by me.”
I knew he wouldn’t want out, but I had to be sure. I couldn’t live with myself if I left him behind without knowing that this was the life he truly wanted. “Too true, brother, too true. I’ll catch you in a couple of days. Call if he’s lookin’ for me.”
“Will do,” he says, then returns to his room.
Without giving the place a second glance I walk out that door, hoping I’ll never have to walk back through it.
Will should know better than to question me, but an hour into the drive he can’t help himself. “Where are we going? Why now?”
“Pick one, where or why,” I tell him.
He thinks about it for a minute, his brow furrows as he does so. I’ve taught him well; he knows how to choose his words. His fingers drum on his knees. “Why now?” he asks with confidence.
The corner of my mouth ticks up in a fraction of a smile. He’s a good kid. “Because Bradshaw fucked me over. And this isn’t something I can overlook. The blonde we’ve been working?” I glance at Will to make sure he’s keeping up, and he nods in response. “She’s my sister. And he knew.”
Will’s jaw drops, and if I wasn’t still so fucking pissed about the situation I’d laugh at his comical expression. “No shit? You have a sister? Does that mean she’s me and Dan’s sister too? No, you would have filled him in if she was his sister too, so she isn’t my sister. Just yours.” His shoulders drop a little—he’s disappointed.
“Yeah, man, just mine. We have the same mother. Or, had the same mother. She’s dead now,” I tell him. I keep no secrets from Will—never have. He knows to a degree what happens behind the scenes, but I don’t fill him in on the gory details. Just the basics.
I can feel his stare, so I glance at him for a split second. “It’s okay, bro, I’m fine. It happened a long time ago.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah, but you only just found out about it.”
My head lies back on the headrest. I sigh deeply, the weight of everything I’ve learned over the last few days heavy on my chest, and on my heart. I didn’t think I had a heart until all this shit went down. The moment I found out I’d been harassing and tormenting my own blood, I’d wanted to vomit.
To say my father is a sick fuck doesn’t quite cut it anymore. He’s always been a bit twisted—you have to be to do the shit he does. But this? Bile rises in my throat.
I yank the wheel to the right. The car skids onto the shoulder of the road. Flinging the door open, I heave before I can even get out of my seat.
Will is out and rounding the hood in seconds. “Micky?”
He’s worried. I never let him, or anyone, see what goes on inside my head or how I deal. But I could hardly help myself this time.
Stumbling out of the car, I make my way to the guard rail, gripping it as I purge myself of all the bitterness sitting heavy in my stomach, crawling up my throat, choking me with its acidic burn. When I’m done I drop down, resting my back against the railing, burying my head in my hands.
“My fucking sister,” I murmur, more to myself than to Will who’s now sitting next to me.
For the first time in his life, my little brother comforts me. He wraps one arm around my shoulder and just holds me. It’s enough to keep me together, for now. I don’t do emotional outbursts. I don’t do emotions as a general rule. But I can’t stomach this. I almost killed my own flesh and blood. And Dad knew what he was asking me to do.
I planted that bomb in her car. Me. It shouldn’t have been strong enough to kill her, but it could have. The possibility was there. More bile builds in my throat but I grit my teeth, forcing it down.
“FUCK!” I roar into the early morning light, my eyes wet with tears for the first time in my adult life.
How could he do this to me? I have always done everything he’s ever asked of me—he knew I would comply without hesitation. He’s a monster—there’s nothing else to it. If he loved me at all he wouldn’t have put me on her. Fuck, he wouldn’t have gone after her in the first place.
Hanging my head, I go over his actions during the last few months. He’s been erratic, and his mood swings have been more frequent too. Abe’s words roll through my head like a recording. You still have a little piece of her with you, don’t you, Neil? That must be of some comfort to you. Except, Astor has a piece of her too.
And my father’s reaction. Go ahead, tell him. It makes no difference. I have more than one guard dog waiting to step up at my behest.
He’s obsessed with Kalista, and Abe thinks it’s because of who our mother was. It makes sense I guess, but fuck my life! He couldn’t just love her like a normal person?
Will clears his throat, his arm still around my shoulders. “I’ll drive. We should get back on the road.”
He stands, turns, and extends his hand down to me. I take it and he pulls me to my feet. When did he gets so strong?
“You been workin’ out?”
He nods. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. Been working out with the workin’ dogs.”
I chuckle at our nickname for the estate guards and follow him to the car, letting him take the driver’s seat. “The address is already loaded into the GPS,” I tell him as he pulls back onto the road.
Exhaustion takes over not five minutes after we’re on the road. My heavy lids close over my tired eyes. I haven’t slept for forty-eight hours, and it’s finally caught up with me.
The next thing I know, Will’s shoving my shoulder. “Wake up, you big bastard. We’re here.”
Blinking until my eyes adjust to the light, I shift in my seat, looking at Will. “When I call you can come back. Until then, head into town, find us somewhere to stay.”
His eyes widen. “No, I’m not leaving you. Who are you even meeting? You can’t go in by yourself.”
I’m so proud of the little shit. “I’ll be fine. I’m meeting Kalista’s bodyguard. We have to talk about some shit, make sure she stays safe.”
Will frowns, “I don’t like it, will your sister be there?”
“No. It’ll just be him and me. Hopefully we’ll see her later.” I say, smiling. I can’t remember the last time I smiled like this; it feels foreign. My emotions have come alive since finding out about her. And I’m not sure what to do with them all.
Will is being stubborn, the look in his eyes screaming his disapproval of this plan.
“I’ll be fine. You know me. There’s no way this guy can take me, Will. I’ll call you within the hour.”
He glares at me as I slide out of the passenger seat. “You can’t protect me forever, you know!”
Don’t I fuckin’ know it.