CHAPTER FOUR
COLIE HAD NOTICED that Rodney was acting oddly. He stayed out until all hours. Once, she was up getting a drink of water when he came in. His face was flushed and his eyes looked strange.
“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.
“What? Okay? Sure, I’m okay,” he replied. But he seemed foggy. “I’ve just had a long drive, all the way from Jackson Hole. I’m tired.”
“You spend a lot of time over there lately,” she pointed out.
He blinked. “Well, yes. There are some presentations on new gadgets and appliances and tools. I go to get familiar with them, for work.”
He worked at the local hardware store as a clerk. She did wonder why a clerk would need to know about appliances, but perhaps that had become part of his duties. So she just smiled and took him at his word.
But the next day, he had company. Colie’s father had gone to visit a member of his congregation who was at the hospital. It was Saturday, and Colie was working in the kitchen when the front door opened.
“Can you make us some coffee, sis?” Rod called from the doorway. “We’ve had a long drive. This is my friend, Barry Todd,” he added, introducing a taciturn man in a gray suit. The man was impeccably groomed, but there was something disturbing about him. Colie, who often got vivid impressions about people, distrusted him on sight.
“Of course,” she told her brother.
He and his friend went into the living room. She heard muffled conversation. It sounded like arguing. Rod raised his voice once, and the other man replied in a sharp, condescending tone.
Colie filled two mugs with coffee and started to take them in, but Rod met her at the door, thanked her and nudged the door closed behind him.
She went back to the kitchen, puzzled and uneasy.
* * *
LATER, WHEN THE visitor left, Colie asked about him, trying not to sound as suspicious as she felt.
“Barry’s a salesman for a tool company,” Rod told her, but he averted his eyes. “We do business together. He’s opening up sales in this territory and I’m going to be his representative.”
“Oh, I see,” she said. “Like moonlighting.”
He hesitated. “That’s it,” he agreed quickly. “Moonlighting.”
“Your boss at the hardware store won’t mind, will he?” She worried.
“Of course not,” he huffed. “He doesn’t tell me what to do on my own time.”
“Your friend dresses nicely.”
“Yes. He’s loaded. Did you see the car he drives? It’s a Mercedes!” He made a face. “All I’ve got is that old Ford. It looks shabby by comparison.”
“Hey, it runs,” she pointed out. “And it’s worlds nicer than my truck!”
“Your truck belongs in a junkyard,” he scoffed. “I’m amazed that they had the gall to actually sell it to you.”
“Now, now, I can’t walk to work,” she teased.
He didn’t smile. In the past, Rod had been happy and joking and fun to be around. More and more, he was short-tempered, impatient and morose.
“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.
“I’m fine.” He tugged at the neck of his polo shirt. “I’m just hot.”
“It’s cold in here,” she began.
“You’re always cold,” he shot back. He turned away. He stopped and looked back at her. “You still going around with J.C.?”
“Sort of,” she said, surprised. “We went over to the casino at Lander last week.”
He laughed hollowly. “I’ll bet Daddy loved that.”
“He doesn’t interfere.”
His eyes narrowed. “J.C. won’t settle down, you know.”
“I know that, Rod.” She studied him. “You and J.C. were close before you got out of the service. You don’t spend much time with him now.”
“We have different interests, that’s all.” His face hardened. “He’s such a straight arrow,” he muttered. “I guess it’s his background.”
“His background?” she probed, always interested in any tidbit of information about J.C. that she didn’t already know.
“He was a policeman before he went into the armed services,” he said. “Worked in Billings for a couple of years as a beat cop. They said he was hell on wife beaters. Almost put a man in the hospital. The guy had beaten his pregnant wife bloody and threw his toddler down the steps. Killed the little boy. J.C. did a number on him. There weren’t any charges. The guy attacked J.C. the minute he walked in the door with his partner. Bad move. He’s a lot stronger than he looks.”
“I can’t imagine anyone bad enough to hurt a child,” Colie said solemnly.
“The guy used,” he said. “Idiot. You never take more than you need for a buzz. That’s just stupid.”
He was using terms she’d heard at work when her bosses dictated letters about drug cases they were defending.
“I don’t know anything about drugs,” she commented.
“Just as well,” he told her. “What’s for supper?” he added, changing the subject.
“Meat loaf and mashed potatoes. And I made a cherry pie.”
He managed a smile. “Sounds good.”
“I’ll get busy.”
He watched her walk away. He was uneasy. He didn’t dare let anything slip that she might pick up on. If she found out what he was doing and told J.C., his friend would go to the authorities in a heartbeat, despite their years of friendship. J.C. had serious prejudices about people who used drugs. He was even worse about dealers.
* * *
COLIE WISHED SHE’D thought to give J.C. her cell phone number, or that she’d asked for his. She could have sent him text messages.
Then she caught herself. He didn’t seem the type of person who did a lot of chatting. She’d had only one phone conversation with him, if you could call it that. He’d called that time when he was invited to dinner, that first time that he’d asked her out. He’d said he was going to be a few minutes late. He’d said barely two words to her and hung up. That was the extent of their phone conversations.
She wished he’d called her, though. She’d have loved to hear the sound of his voice, even if it was only two or three words’ worth. But he didn’t call. And his two or three days turned into a week.
She knew he was still in Denver because her friend Lucy had a cousin who worked in retail, and he was also attending the gadget convention. He mentioned to Lucy that J.C. was chatting up a gorgeous platinum blonde and said maybe that was the reason he hadn’t come home sooner.
Lucy told Colie when she persisted, but she hated doing it. Colie’s face fell. It was what she’d expected to happen. She wasn’t pretty or sophisticated. J.C. had even mentioned that the girl he fell in love with was like a supermodel in looks.
She was so depressed. She’d had all sorts of stupid dreams, about being with J.C. for the rest of her life, of changing his mind about having a home of his own and a family. Now those dreams were being changed into nightmares with platinum blonde hair.
* * *
IF SHE COULD have seen J.C., the depression would have lifted. As most gossip was, the bit about him and the blonde was blown all out of proportion. He’d been overseas with another man who trained local law enforcement in the Middle East during his vacations, an Apache man named Phillip Hunter who worked private security in Houston. Hunter’s wife, Jennifer, was a geologist. She was so beautiful, even in her thirties and with two children, that she turned heads everywhere. It was Jennifer that J.C. had been talking to while Hunter went to talk to one of the vendors about an updated closed circuit camera system for Ritter Oil Corporation, where Hunter was head of security.
Jennifer was as conservative as her husband, and it would never have occurred to her to cheat on him. She was simply enjoying talking about her work to J.C., who knew something about the mining industry. Geology was an interest of his. When he was very young, his father was always bringing home unusual rocks from work. J.C. hated the memory of his father, but he’d always loved geology.
He missed Colie. He didn’t want to. He knew that he could never give her the things she wanted. It was sad, because she was the kind of woman any man would be proud to call his own. But a family, kids...that wasn’t him. He’d been on his own too long.
Maybe he was overthinking it. He should just take it one day at a time and not take life so seriously.
Phillip Hunter rejoined them, smiling. He was older than Jennifer, probably in his forties by now. He had silver at his temples and threads of silver in his thick, straight jet-black hair. But he was still as fit a man as any J.C. had ever seen. He kept in fighting trim. He and Jennifer had two children, a daughter, Nikki, and a son, Jason. They seemed perfectly happy together, for an old married couple. J.C., who had rarely seen a good marriage, was impressed. His foster parents had been like these two. Their deaths had been worse than a tragedy to him. He was only eleven when he lost them in the fire. That placed him in other foster homes, ones not as nice or welcoming or secure as the one he’d had. He had painful memories of those days, after the fire, memories he’d shared with no one. Not even with Colie.
“Are you going back over month after next?” Phillip asked J.C., meaning Iraq, where they both were involved in training courses. But while J.C. taught police procedure, Phillip taught private security.
“I am,” J.C. replied. “I like the challenge.”
“You like the risk,” Jennifer chided, glancing at her husband with a grin. “Like someone else I know.”
Phillip pulled her against him and kissed her hair. “I can’t live without a little risk. You knew that when you married me, cover girl,” he teased.
She pressed close with a sigh and closed her eyes. “Yes, I did. Warts and all, I can’t imagine any other way of life. It’s been wonderful.”
“It has,” her taciturn husband replied gently. The look they shared made J.C. uncomfortable. It spoke of a closeness he’d never known.
“I guess you’re going to be a bachelor forever,” Jennifer mused as she studied J.C.’s hard face.
“Looks like it.” He sighed. He smiled. “I’m not domesticated.”
Phillip chuckled. “Let’s get something to eat. All these electronic gadgets remind me of stoves, and stoves remind me of wonderful meals,” he added, winking at Jennifer.
“Lucky you, that I finally learned to boil water!” She laughed.
It was a private joke. She’d always been a great cook.
J.C. was impressed by the way they got along. He’d had lovers; never a woman he could tease or joke with, or just enjoy talking to. Then he thought of Colie, and how easy it was to talk to her. She made him feel warm inside, safe. These were new feelings, for a man who didn’t court domestication.
He put it out of his mind. He didn’t have to worry about Colie right now. And he was confident that she was his, if he wanted her. She wouldn’t be looking at other men, any more than Jennifer Hunter was. If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Colie belonged to him.
* * *
AT THAT VERY MOMENT, Colie was accepting a date with a visiting accountant who’d come to audit the books at the savings and loan company down the street from the law office where she worked.
His name was Ted Johnson, and he was from New Jersey. He was a pleasant man, just a few years older than Colie, and he’d been around the world. They met at the local hamburger place and struck up a conversation after he’d mistakenly been given part of her order. They laughed about it, sat down together and found a lot in common.
“I don’t know the area very well,” Ted told her, “but they say there’s a fairly good theater here. Want to take in a movie with me? I’m only here for a couple of days, so I won’t be proposing marriage tonight or anything,” he joked. “Besides that, I’m doing my best to coax a woman at my office to go out with me. So this would be just friends.”
“I have my own coaxing challenge, with a man who doesn’t want to be domesticated.” She sighed.
“Life is hard,” he said. He grinned. “So we take in a movie and drown our sorrows in sodas and popcorn.”
“Suits me!”
* * *
IT WAS A fun date. No pressure, no physical attraction, just two people having a good time together. When they got back home, Ted went inside with her and challenged her father to a game of chess, having seen the chessboard on the side table.
Her father was delighted to see Colie out with an acceptable, conventional man. Who knew where it might lead, he thought privately.
Ted trounced him. It only took a smattering of moves to checkmate the reverend.
“Sorry about that,” Ted chuckled. “But I was chess champion of my fraternity in college. Probably should have mentioned that earlier,” he added with a grin.
“Probably should have, young man,” Reverend Thompson agreed with a smile. “You’re very good. I enjoyed the challenge.”
“If I’m ever back this way, I’ll give you a rematch. I really enjoyed it, Colie,” he added as he started for the door. “If I wasn’t committed, I’d come back and go the whole deal—roses and chocolates and serenading.”
“Thanks for the thought,” she said, laughing.
He shrugged. “I’m disgustingly conventional.”
“Convention is what keeps the world turning,” Colie’s father said quietly. “Fads and fancies don’t last.”
“True words. Well, see you!”
“See you.” Colie shut the door and turned back to her father, who looked disappointed.
“He’s got a girlfriend?” he asked her.
She nodded. “He’s hoping she’ll notice him. He’s a very nice man.”
“Yes, he is.” He sighed. “Well, I should get back to work on my sermon.”
“I’ll clean up the kitchen and go to bed, I think,” she said. “We’re going to have a busy day tomorrow at work. Clients out the front door.”
“Good for business,” he remarked.
“Yes, very good,” she agreed with a smile. “If they’re busy, I have job security.”
He smiled and went back to his study.
* * *
J.C. SLID HIS bag into his cabin and went up to the main house to tell Ren about the convention.
Merrie, Ren’s wife, was carrying their son around in her arms, crooning to him. She grinned as J.C. walked in.
“Delsey and I made a pound cake. There’s coffee, too, if you want some. I have to go sing Toby to sleep.”
“He’s grown, just since I’ve been away,” J.C. remarked with a quiet smile.
“In no time, he’ll be learning to drive and wrecking my car.” Ren chuckled as he joined them. He kissed his son on the forehead and brushed his mouth over his wife’s cheek.
She wrinkled her nose at him. “I won’t be long.”
Ren settled down at the kitchen table with J.C. Outside, snow was coming down in buckets.
“I’ve got the nighthawks working overtime with this weather,” Ren remarked. “We’re having to truck feed out to the northern pastures.”
“No news there.”
“What did you find that you liked at the gadget show?”
J.C. pulled out some brochures and went over them with his boss.
“I like this new facial recognition software,” J.C. told him, indicating the statistics provided on the brochure. “If ours had been a little more sophisticated, we might have been saved a lot of trouble when that assassin was after Merrie,” he added, alluding to a time when Merrie and her sister had been the targets of a determined contract killer, revenge for a life their criminal father had taken before his death.
“It would have helped. But he disabled some of our communications, as well,” Ren remarked.
“I’ve put in redundant systems since then,” the younger man replied. “It won’t happen again.”
Ren nodded. His black eyes narrowed. “What’s the cost?”
J.C. told him. “It’s expensive, but it can be updated and the vendor guarantees it for ten years.”
“Cost-effective,” Ren agreed. “Okay. Order it.”
“I’ll get right on it.”
“Anything else look good?”
“Lots of stuff, but mostly robotics. I’m not a fan,” he added quietly. “My phone is my best gadget, and I don’t want to replace it.”
“I like mine, too.” Ren stared at his security chief. “What’s this we hear about you and some blonde woman over in Denver?” he asked. “We thought you were going around with Colie.”
J.C.’s eyes widened. “A blonde...? Oh!” He laughed. “I was talking to Phillip Hunter’s wife. He’s head of security for the Ritter Oil Corporation in Houston. She’s a knockout. She has a master’s degree in geology. It’s an interest of mine.”
“I see.”
“Damn,” J.C. muttered. “If the gossip got to you, it probably got to Colie, too,” he added quietly.
“I wouldn’t know about that.” Ren sipped coffee. “But she’s dating an accountant from New Jersey.”
The cup jumped in J.C.’s hand and spilled coffee. He mopped it up with a gruff apology. Clumsiness in that steady hand was a dead giveaway.
Ren, amused, averted his eyes. Apparently J.C. was surprised that his girl would go out with someone else. “I guess she heard about the blonde, then,” Ren said drily.
J.C. finished his coffee. “I’d better get to work.”
“Willis has something he wants to talk to you about,” Ren added. “He thinks we need some security cameras at the line cabins. We had a break-in while you were gone. Willis thinks it was just a trapper who got caught out in the storm. Nothing stolen, that we could tell. But there are televisions in those cabins.”
“I’ll check it out,” J.C. said.
He was preoccupied as he went out the front door. Colie, dating another man. Did she think he wasn’t serious about her, when she heard about the blonde? Because he knew Colie was crazy about him. She wouldn’t have gone out with another man unless she thought there was no hope where J.C. was concerned. It must have hurt, even though he’d told her they had no future and he wasn’t starting anything he couldn’t finish. The blonde woman was truly ravishing, and that would have gotten around, too. Colie, with her low self-esteem, would think J.C. had dropped her because she wasn’t pretty enough for him.
He hesitated when he was inside his SUV, watching snow pile up on the windshield before he cranked the engine and turned on the windshield wipers. It was a chance to draw back, to let her think he didn’t care. It was an opportunity that might not come again. He could ignore her. He could let her believe he was seeing other women.
But it was a lie. There was only Colie in his life. There had never been a woman he could talk to, pour his heart out to. Not before Colie came along. Brief liaisons didn’t encourage closeness. He took what was offered and moved on to the next woman. But Colie wouldn’t be as disposable as the women who came and went in his life. She’d want commitment. He wasn’t sure he could give her that, even briefly.
On the other hand, he hadn’t looked at another woman since he’d been going around with Colie. He couldn’t imagine one of his brassy dates taking her place. She was gentle and kind and giving. She roused him like no one else ever had.
He should stop it now, while he could. He’d be cheating her if he let things progress. Inevitably, he was going to end up in bed with her. Once that happened, he might not be able to let go. That frightened him. His poor mother had been trapped by her feelings, tied to a man who abused her, hurt her. He’d seen the dark side of love. He’d watched his mother die of it. Love was an illusion that led to tragedy. He wanted no part of it.
If he could take her and enjoy her without his emotions becoming involved, perhaps they could stay together for a while. It would cause friction with her father, but Colie was a grown woman. She didn’t answer to anyone. He could enjoy what they had while it lasted and then move on, as he always did. He’d make sure Colie knew it wasn’t forever that he was offering.
It didn’t occur to him then that he was eaten alive with jealousy when he thought of his Colie with another man, or that someone who wasn’t emotionally involved wouldn’t be jealous in the first place.
* * *
COLIE WAS HAVING a quick meal at the local café when a tall, irritated man pulled out a chair and sat down beside her.
She caught her breath audibly.
“What’s this about an accountant?” J.C. asked with a bite in his voice. His pale eyes were glittering like metal in sunlight.
She gaped at him with her coffee halfway to her mouth. She put it down and glared at him. “Oh, yeah? What’s this about a glittery, beautiful blonde woman in Denver?” she countered right back.
He waited while a waitress took his order for a hamburger and fries and coffee. Then the laughter seeped out, drowning the anger.
“Jennifer Hunter,” he told her. “She’s married to Phillip Hunter, who’s head of security for Ritter Oil Corporation in Houston. He teaches with me in Iraq, although in different areas,” he said, watching her cheeks flush. “They have two kids.”
The flush got worse. She averted her eyes to her plate.
“The accountant?” he prompted.
She moved one shoulder restlessly. “He’s trying to impress a woman he works with. He just wanted company for a movie. He was very nice. Daddy liked him.”
He nodded. His big hand slid over Colie’s free one and linked into it. “I was jealous,” he said, surprising himself, because he didn’t want to admit that. It was like showing weakness.
“I was jealous, too, when I heard about the blonde,” she confessed.
“Two idiots with insecurity issues,” he murmured drily.
She looked up into his eyes and the whole planet shifted ten degrees. Her heart ran away with her.
“I missed you,” he whispered huskily, his own heart racing as much as he tried to hide it.
“I missed you, too.”
Around them, curious and amused faces were trying not to stare. Colie was loved by the community for her good works. J.C. was an object of curiosity, not really a local but accepted as one. The curiosity was benevolent, at least.
* * *
THEY FINISHED THE MEAL. J.C. caught up both tickets and paid them, then he led Colie out the door and over to his SUV.
“But I have to get back to work,” she protested weakly when he drove out of town. “It’s so close that I walked down to the café...”
“How much longer is your lunch hour?”
“Ten minutes,” she said, staring at him.
“So, we’ll have dessert and go back.”
“Dessert?”
He pulled into a deserted parking lot next to the river that ran through Catelow, cut the engine and reached for Colie as if he was starving to death.
“Dessert,” he whispered huskily as his mouth covered hers and burrowed hungrily into it.
Colie linked her arms around his neck and held on for dear life, making up with enthusiasm for what she lacked in experience.
J.C. wrapped her up tight and kissed her until her mouth felt bruised.
“I hate being away from you,” he said against her swollen lips.
“I hate it, too,” she managed, burying her face in his warm throat, in the opening of his shepherd’s coat. She hit his chest. “You didn’t even call me!”
“What could I have said? I’m lonely, I miss you, I wish you were here? What good would that have done?” he asked against her ear.
“A lot,” she said. “For one thing, I wouldn’t have believed local gossip about the blonde!”
He chuckled. “I haven’t looked at another woman since you’ve been haunting me,” he told her. “You’re everywhere I go, all the time. Even when I’m away.”
Her arms tightened.
“I don’t guess you could plead a sick headache and go home with me right now?” he asked in a tone that was joking, but also serious.
“I’d love to,” she said. “But there’s only me and Lucy and the office is full of people today.”
“You and your sense of responsibility,” he scoffed.
“You and yours,” she shot back.
He lifted his head. His eyes were soft and tender as they searched her face. “I don’t like talking on the phone,” he said. “It’s a long-standing prejudice.”
“Rod said you were a policeman in Billings before you went into the service,” she said.
He nodded. “Maybe that’s why I don’t like phones,” he said. “There was usually tragedy on the other end of the line.”
She smoothed over the hard line of his cheek with her fingers. “You’re still doing it.”
He caught the hand and kissed the palm. “Doing what?”
“Taking care of people,” she said simply. “Except that now you’re taking care of people on a ranch instead of people in a city.”
He smiled. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
She smiled back. “I have to go.”
“I know.”
He kissed her again, but differently than he ever had. His lips barely touched hers, brushing, lifting...cherishing. When he lifted his head, there was a light in his eyes that she didn’t remember seeing.
“Dinner tonight?” he asked when he let her out in front of the office.
“What time?”
“Six. That will give you time to fix something for Rod and your dad.”
“Okay. Where are we going?”
He drew in a long breath. “Wherever you want to, honey,” he said softly.
She blushed again. Her eyes twinkled. “Okay.” She shut the door and ran into the office.
He watched her until she was out of sight before he pulled away. He was getting in way over his head, and it felt like walking into an abyss. He couldn’t stop. He was going to hit bottom one day with her. It would damage both of them. But he still couldn’t stop.
He drove back to the ranch, his mind anywhere but on his work.
* * *
COLIE PUT UP her coat and went to her desk. Her eyes were twinkling, full of joy.
“He came back,” Lucy guessed.
She laughed. “The blonde is married to a friend of his. They have two kids.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Lucy said. “I hated telling you what my cousin said. That’s gossip. I’m ashamed of myself for passing it on.”
“Don’t be. Making up is so much fun,” she confessed.
Lucy laughed. “Don’t I know it!” She sat down at her desk. “I’m glad it worked out, Colie.”
Colie picked up notes she was supposed to type for her boss. She grimaced. “I’m not sure it has, really. I mean, he was jealous, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to rush me to the first minister he can find.” She glanced at Lucy with eyes gone sad. “I guess, in life, we take what happiness we can find. And then we pay for it.”
Lucy frowned. “Stop sounding ominous,” she chided.
Colie sighed. “My grandmother had these feelings. She could tell when someone was going to be hurt, when bad things were going to happen. I don’t have the gift the way she did, but I really do feel the weight of sorrow in my life.” She looked up. “J.C. and I are very different. I don’t know if there’s going to be any sort of happy ending.”
“If you don’t try, you’ll never find out,” came the reply.
“I suppose that’s true.” She glanced up as the door opened and four people walked in. She grimaced. “And we’d better get to work or we’ll be out looking for a job!” she laughed under her breath as she got up to take the names of the newcomers and announce them to her boss.