He takes me up to the rooftop deck, where a breathtaking view of the city lights greets me. We’re so high up, there’s a strong breeze, causing me to wrap my arms around myself to ward off the chill.

“This view is great,” I tell him as I lean against the railing, tipping my head down so I can see the traffic below. Not that there are many cars out at this time of night, but there are just enough to keep my interest.

Well, that and I’m avoiding looking at him. I’m on edge, unsure. What’s going to happen next? He hasn’t even tried to kiss me, or touch me beyond holding my hands. My body is demanding more, more, more, but it’s almost like he’s—withholding his affection on purpose, maybe?

I sincerely hope not.

“I never come up here,” he says as he stops to stand right beside me, resting his arms on the railing.

I turn to look at him, surprised by his admission. “Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t have time.”

“Sounds like you don’t have much time for anything.” This worries me. This is what we ran into before, and after a while, it sent me packing.

Some might say I gave up on him, and I was stupid. Most of the time, I agree with that assessment. But then I remember sad, lonely me six years ago. Still living at home and going to community college while my hot and popular boyfriend was at USC and living the dream—without me.

“I’m busy, yeah. Like, all the time.” He nudges his elbow against mine. “You know this, though. You remember.”

“I do. Yes, I get it,” I say, my voice cool, my thoughts haywire. Crap, I don’t really get it, no matter how much I want to. Brutal truth time: I want to be with a man who’s able to give all of himself to me, no matter what. Not like I want to be attached at the hip and he has no outside interests or whatever—I want us to share in everything we do, and right now, with the way Jordan’s life is going, I’m not sure if he can be that man. No matter how badly I want him to be.

Only an hour ago at the restaurant I was telling myself this could totally work, and now I’m thinking it’s near impossible.

Why is the truth so hard to face?

“Hey.” He touches me, his fingers slipping beneath my chin to tilt my face up so our gazes connect. “I can practically see the cogs turning in your brain.”

My smile is sad, I can feel it. “Reality sucks.”

He understands what I’m really saying, and I appreciate that about him. Reality does suck. We’re having a great time tonight. Being together feels familiar, yet different. Fresh and new, with that comforting, hey we’ve done this before, vibe too.

But tomorrow I’ll go back to work and so will he. He’s so busy who knows when I’ll see him again.

For all I know, this might be my one last chance.

“Fuck reality,” he murmurs as he lowers his head until we’re so close, I can feel his breath waft across my cheek. “Don’t worry about all the bullshit, Mandy.”

“But I can’t help—”

He cuts my words off with a kiss.

My stomach drops, tumbling over itself at that first touch of his mouth on mine. Again, it’s familiar yet new. Thrilling. Exciting. He’s kissing me. Jordan Tuttle is kissing me.

His lips are soft. Not hungry, not demanding. More like a test, a question.

Are we really doing this?

Are you going to let me keep kissing you?

Do you want this?

Do you want me?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Our mouths meet again and again. Sweet, chaste kisses that make my entire body grow warm. He slips his arms around my waist and pulls me in closer, his lips parting mine, his tongue darting. Retreating. A tease.

A promise.

Feeling bold, I slip my tongue inside his mouth, circling it around his. He growls low in his throat, his arms tightening around my waist, the fabric of my dress lifting the slightest bit, reminding me that yep, I’m still naked beneath the thin fabric.

It feels so good just kissing him. Imagine what might happen once he puts those skilled hands on my bare skin?

We kiss and kiss, our tongues tangling, our hands wandering, until he finally breaks away first, his mouth on my neck, licking and nibbling. I keep my eyes closed, my hands coming up to wrap around his neck, my fingers sliding into his thick, soft hair. He pushes aside my denim jacket so it falls off my shoulder, his mouth on my collarbone, his hands sliding up, causing the dress fabric to draw up even more.

“Are you trying to expose me?” I ask breathlessly, a shiver moving through me when the cool breeze hits.

“Maybe,” he murmurs against my throat, one hand dropping to flirt with the hem of my dress. His fingers brush against my thigh and I whimper.

Is it bad that I want to yell at him to just go ahead and do me? That sounds stupid, even in my thoughts, but it’s so true. I want Jordan naked. I want to touch him, kiss him, feel him slip deep inside me. I want it all.

“We’re not going to do—this outside, are we?” I open my eyes and glance around, noting the outdoor table and chairs. The chairs look comfortable, but not for both of us. And there are no lounge chairs, which is a bummer because one of those would’ve worked just fine…

“Absolutely fucking not.” He pulls away from me, grabs my hand, and we walk back into the house, both of us practically running down the stairs, our matching harsh breaths echoing. He stops at the doorway that leads into what looks like an office, pressing me against the wall, his hands cupping my cheeks just before he steals another kiss.

Oh, and it’s a good one. Lots of tongue, his hands cradling my face, his thumbs skimming my skin, making me feel…cherished.

Loved.

Ugh, I shouldn’t even think of that word when it comes to me and Jordan. That’s the past. I need to focus on the here and now.

I tilt my head back and he takes the kiss deeper. His hands fall to my hips and then he’s grabbing hold of me, his hands slipping low to cup my bare ass, and the moment he touches me there, a jolt of electricity pulses through my body, making me shudder.

“Fuck,” he groans against my lips, his hands pulling me into position so my legs are wrapped around his waist, my feet digging into his rock-hard backside. I’m snug against his front, bare and rubbing the seam of his jeans. I can feel him. He’s hard beneath the denim and I press closer, a whimper escaping me at the delicious friction.

I could probably come like this. It’s been a while since I’ve had sex. It’s been even longer since I’ve had really good sex.

And it’s been over six years since I’ve had the best sex of my life.

Ridiculous, right? That the best sex ever was with Jordan. But I think it’s because we were so much in love, sex-obsessed teenagers driven by our hormones. We learned together. We experimented. We were comfortable with each other, but not in a boring way. More in the ooh, let’s try that way.

Those times were some of the best I ever had. The memories have faded, but being with him like this, my body reacts instinctively, knowing exactly what to do and how to move in order to arouse him.

Muscle memory is an interesting thing.

Jordan pins me to the wall with his hips, his erection pressing against me, his hands gripping my bare butt. His mouth is on mine, his breath hot, his teeth tugging on my lower lip, his big body caging me in. “You’re trying to get off, aren’t you?” he asks in that growly, sexy voice of his after he ends our kiss.

“What do you mean?” I play stupid on purpose. I want to hear what he has to say. Right before I broke up with him, he started to get into dirty talk. Not too raunchy, but just raunchy enough to get my blood pumping.

“You keep rubbing against my dick.” Oh God, his voice is so rough. I lift my hips and grind on him a little as an example, and he groans. “Yeah, just like that.”

“You feel good,” I admit as I rock against him, sinking my teeth into my lower lip to keep from moaning too loud.

“So do you,” he murmurs, his fingers slipping lower, so tantalizingly close to where I want him the most. “You’re getting my jeans wet.”

Okay, that was the hottest thing ever. Clearly I have no shame, because I grind against him again, harder this time, and I can feel my orgasm hovering close. He knows it too. Probably can tell by the way I went still for that millisecond moment, can hear it in the way I sucked in a harsh breath and held it. This man knows my tells like no other.

I both want to prolong this moment and get it over with right away, because my body is tightly strung, my blood running hot, my skin buzzing. It’s urgent, my need to find release because holy crap, I must have it.

Now.

He kisses me again, his soft, hot lips melting into mine, our tongues dancing, his fingers teasing me from behind while I grind on his denim-covered erection, finding my rhythm, the rhythm I know is going to take me straight to O-Town. My brain helps along with matters—reminding me what he looks like naked—to die for—and that gleam he’d get in his eyes just before he went down on me—seductive yet mischievous. Going down on me was something Jordan liked to do often.

Something I’d like him to do ASAP, if you get what I mean.

He slips his finger inside me and that’s all it takes. Destination O-Town and it turns me into a gasping, whimpering, shuddery mess as I basically hump Jordan like a greedy, inexperienced teenager experiencing her first orgasm from someone else. My face is pressed against his throat and my fingers are curled tight in the hair at his nape as I cling to him, probably stabbing his butt with my stiletto heels. He holds me tight, one large hand smoothing up and down my back as my shivers slowly subside, yet I don’t want to shift away from him. Not yet.

I like how he’s holding me. Soothing me. Oh, and there’s also the fact that I’m a little embarrassed that I just came so hard, so quickly.

“Mandy.” His voice rumbles and I can feel the vibrations. “You all right?”

I nod, but still don’t move.

“I’m going to set you down now, okay?” When I nod again, his arms loosen around me, and I slip my legs from his hips. My feet land on the floor and my knees are still weak so I wobble, but he catches me.

This tiny moment reeks of symbolism. No matter what happens, if we’re together, Jordan is always there to catch me before I fall.

Or maybe I’m just totally reaching.