Stella trudged into the diner. She was simply exhausted. She hoped it would be a slow night tonight.
“Jesus, you look like hell! You okay?” Tara asked.
“Late night last night.”
Tara grinned. “Is that a good thing?”
Stella smiled. “A very good thing.”
“Did you?” the older woman asked, her eyes full of mischief.
Stella smiled and looked down. “Yeah.”
“How was he?”
“Let me check my section, then I’ll tell you.”
She made the rounds of the tables, and was on her way back to counter for drink refills when Gabriel walked in. She smiled at him as Melissa seated him.
When she finished with her rounds, she stopped at his table, placing a glass of tea in front of him. “How was your trip?”
“Uneventful, which was good.”
“Glad to hear that,” she said, trying to keep it professional. “What do you want?”
“Besides you?”
She blushed. “To eat.”
“Besides you?”
She giggled. “Would you stop?”
He grinned, glad to see her smile. She looked exhausted and he felt badly for her. “I’ll have the open faced roast beef sandwich. And don’t forget to turn in you notice.”
“Don’t worry. They may fire me for snoring later. You kept me up too late last night.”
His smile softened. “I hope it was worth it.”
A warmth spread through her as she remembered how he made her feel. “It was.”
He nodded but said nothing, handing the menu to her. As she turned away, he noticed another member of the wait staff watching them.
“You two seem very cozy,” Tara sad as Stella stuck the ticket on the kitchen wheel.
“Yeah.”
“You took him home last night?”
“Yes.”
“And you two…?”
“Twice.”
“How was it?”
Stella smiled and looked down. “Unbelievable.”
Tara grinned. “Good. A girl needs her toes curled every now and then.”
She smiled. “He did that all right, five times.”
“Are you two going to give it another try?”
Stella shrugged. “I think we’re going to try, but we both hurt each other. He’s Katrina’s father but I never told him until last night.”
Tara’s eyes opened wide. “How did he react that that?”
“He was hurt and wanted to see her. I took him to see her this morning. Which brings me to another thing.” She looked down and shuffled her feet. “I’m turning in my two week notice.”
Tara smiled. She was surprised Stella had made it as long as she had. “I hate to see you leave, but I understand. It’s hard working two jobs, especially when one is a full time, and even more so with the hours you work. And being a single mom, too? Oy!”
“Thank you, Tara, for helping me out and understanding.”
“No. Thank you, Stella, for working with me. I wish I had four more just like you.” Tara pulled her into a hug. “Best of luck to you.”
Stella returned her hug. “Thank you. You’ve been a good boss and a good friend.”
“I’m still your friend.”
“I know.”
“And as your friend, I want to hear all the juicy details about last night,” Tara said as she released Stella.
“Let me check my tables, then I’ll tell you.”
When she returned a moment later, the entire wait staff, all four women, were clustered behind the bar.
“Hey, we want to hear, too!” Melissa said with a grin when Stella seemed reluctant to start.
With a smile, Stella recounted her escapades, starting with him picking her up outside the diner and finishing with him leaving her at Connie’s house.
Gabriel watched as Stella talked to the wait staff. He guessed she’d turned in her notice when she and the older waitress hugged, and she was saying her goodbyes now. She was obviously well liked as the women giggled and whispered conspiratorially, occasionally glancing his way.
“That’s so hot!” Alicia said as she fanned her face when Stella finished. “Why can’t my boyfriend ever wake me up like that?”
“Yeah, maybe,” Stella replied softly. “But I’m paying for it now.”
“But it was worth it, right?”
She grinned. “Absolutely.”
Gabriel’s meal being slid into the server window broke up their little confab. Tara smiled as Stella moved to pick up the plate. “I hope it works out for you.”
“Yeah, me too,” she grinned as she stepped from behind the counter with Gabriel’s plate and a pitcher of tea.
“It’s done?” he asked as she slid his plate in front of him.
“Yeah.”
“It go okay?”
“Yeah. No problems.” She grinned at him. “What were they going to do, fire me?”
He motioned to the other side of the table. “Want to sit down a minute?”
“I would, but we’re not allowed.”
He nodded in understanding. “What are they going to do, fire you?”
She giggled. “I know, but the place had been good to me and I don’t want to cause trouble.”
He shrugged and unrolled his utensils, his mouth watering over the smells emanating from his plate. He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and they didn’t stop for lunch. “I hope you don’t mind me eating. I’m starving.”
“It a diner, it’s what people do,” she said. She only had one other table to monitor, and they were winding down, but she moved off to check on them before returning to his table.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Are you?”
“I meant about the food, but yeah. Just tired.”
He smiled around another mouthful of food. “Which is why you need to quit his damn job, so you can get more rest and spend more time with Katrina,” he said after he swallowed. He paused a moment then looked at her with hopeful eyes. “Would you mind if I go with you to get her tonight?”
“Gabriel, I’m too tired to do anything tonight.”
“No, I just want to go get her and watch her sleep for a few minutes. I’ll leave right after that.”
“Why? Why are you doing this?”
He placed his fork and knife on the plate. “Doing what?”
“Watch her sleep? What do you really want?”
“I want to watch my daughter sleep, that’s all. She was so beautiful this morning, and I just want to get close to her. I want to touch her. I want to see her when she’d not looking at me, wondering who I am and why I’m there, that’s all. Please, Stella. I’ll be gone fifteen minutes after you put her in bed, I promise.”
She looked at him. She didn’t know if what he said touched her because she was so tired, but her eyes welled with tears. “You don’t even know her.”
“I know, but I’d like to. She looks so much like you.”
“You think so? I think she has your nose.”
“Maybe, but she has your eyes and hair. She has such beautiful eyes.” He looked at her and smiled warmly. “Like her mother.”
She wiped her eyes. “Yeah, okay. So long as you understand you have to go. I need to sleep.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
She nodded and moved away to allow him to finished his meal.
“Everything okay over there?” Tara asked when Stella stopped beside her, her eyes slightly red.
“Yeah, damn him.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Everything! I’m so tired I can’t think straight, and he’s confusing me! I remember what he did, and I’m afraid to trust him again, but then he says something and I…” She stalled, shaking her head. “I want to hate him, but I can’t.”
“Then don’t try.”
“But what if he hurts me again?”
Tara smiled sadly. “Then you’ll know you’re alive.”
She blinked at the woman. “What does that mean?”
“It means, Stella, the only time you can’t be hurt is if you’re dead. Either dead, dead, or dead emotionally. If you can’t feel pain, you can’t feel love. I don’t want to go through life like that, do you?”
“No, I guess not.”
“I’m not telling you what to do, but you can’t go through life worrying about being hurt. If you do, you’ll be miserable. Were you happy before Gabriel came back?”
“I thought I was.”
“But now you’re not so sure?”
“No. Last night…” She paused as she tried to put into words how she felt. “Even leaving the sex out of it, I felt…something…I can’t describe it, but like a connection, you know? Even before I invited him back to my place, riding on the back of his bike, it just felt right somehow. Does this make any sense?”
“It does. That, my dear, is called love.”
Stella spluttered. “I don’t love him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Then why are you worried he’ll hurt you again?”
That gave her pause. “Well, I mean, if I do fall for him again.”
Tara nodded. “Then you will know you’re alive.” She smiled and moved off to check on her table. “Just take it slow and see where it goes.”
She dropped the ticket onto Gabriel’s table. “You want to wait for me at the apartment until I bring her home?”
“Can we drop my bike, first, then I ride over with you in your car?”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I want to see what you do. If she’s asleep, maybe I could carry her?”
She smiled. “We’ll see about the carrying thing, but I’ll meet you at the apartment about 12:15.”
He nodded and scooped up the ticket. “Wait a minute,” he said as she turned to leave. He squirmed a moment then pulled something out of his pocket and pressed it into her hand. “Your tip. That should help until we can work out something more formal.”
She looked at her hand, staring at the hundred dollar bill, then an instant later realized there was more than one. She unfolded then fanned out five identical bills.
“Gabriel, this is too much. No,” she said holding out the money.
He made no move to take it. “If you don’t need it right now, put it back for an emergency so you don’t have to work two jobs again, or start a college fund for Katrina, or buy something for yourself you couldn’t justify. I want you to take it, then we’ll sit down and work out what I’ll be paying each month, okay? Let me do this, Stella. For Katrina.”
She stared at him a moment, her expression unreadable, then slipped the money into her pocket. “Thank you,” she said softly.
He smiled. “It’s something I should have been doing for at least three years.”
She nodded with a small smile and turned away as she pursed her lips. His tip was more than she made working at the diner in two weeks, including the tips. Another tip like that one and her car would almost be paid for.
He watched her walk away and wondered what happened. He thought she would be delighted with the cash, but she seemed almost upset by it. He sighed and wondered why his desire to help was upsetting to her. With a small shake of his head, he slid out of the booth and carried his ticket to the register.
***
Arsen was sitting on the curb in her parking space as she drove up. He rose and slid into the car, leaning over for a kiss, but then sat up when she ignored him.
“Can you drive?” she asked softly. “I’m exhausted and about to fall asleep at the wheel.” When he opened his door, she did the same and they switched places. “Thank you,” she murmured.
He nodded but said nothing as he adjusted the seat and mirrors so he could drive. She laid her head back, and was asleep before he exited the apartment complex. He made a wrong turn in the dark, but quickly realized his mistake and corrected it, arriving at Connie’s house only a few minutes late.
He touched her arm, smiling as she slowly opened her eyes. “We’re here.”
She sighed deeply, then opened her door and slowly crawled out as he did the same. He followed her to the door. She opened it with a key, and stepped inside. He waited outside until she turned and waved him in. “Gabriel is here,” she said to Connie, out of sight in the living room.
He waited in the kitchen until Connie appeared, still dressed in her street clothes. She stopped and watched him, saying nothing. “I was afraid she would fall asleep behind the wheel,” he explained to break the increasingly uncomfortable silence.
She nodded but said nothing. A moment later, Stella appeared with Katrina in her arms. He held his arms out, offering to take the child, and he was surprised when she passed her over to him. He surprised himself when he seemed to instinctually know how to hold her.
“See you in the morning,” Stella murmured as she gave Connie a kiss on the cheek.
“Sleep well,” she replied as Gabriel stepped out with Katrina.
He carried the sleeping girl to the car and opened the rear door. It was obvious how the car seat worked, and he had her fastened in and was easing the door closed as Stella flopped into the passenger seat.
Stella went almost immediately to sleep, and he smiled as he drove his girls through the night. He pulled into her parking spot and touched her arm. “We’re here?” she asked as she struggled awake.
“I’ll get her. Go up and get ready for bed.”
She nodded as she got out of the car, staggered a moment, then trudged toward the steps. He watched her go, then carefully extracted Katrina. His heart nearly stopped when she woke up briefly, afraid she would start screaming for her mother, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and went almost immediately back to sleep. He gave the door a hip check to shut it, locked it, then carried her up the steps and through the still open door into Stella’s apartment.
He carried her directly to her room, flipped the linens back, and placed her in the bed. He kissed her on the forehead, because it seemed like the fatherly thing to do, then covered her tiny body. He didn’t know about the door, so he split the difference between open and closed by closing it half-way.
“You okay?” he asked as he stepped into Stella’s room.
“Yeah. Just tired,” she said as her head popped through the opening on the sleep shirt.
“You’re sure? You seemed upset about the money at the diner.”
She shook her head. “No, everything is fine. Thank you, though. That was very generous. Weren’t you going to watch her sleep or something?”
“Yeah, but I wanted to check on you first. I won’t be long.”
He stepped out of the room and moved silently to Katrina’s bed. After a moment his eyes adjusted to the gloom and he could see her clearly with the light from the window. He stood watching her sleep, a stupid grin on his face he could vanish for only a few moments at a time. He sensed Stella step up beside him, and he took that as his cue to leave, but before he did, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her in close. He held her a moment, then released her and they snuck out of the room, Stella pushing Katrina’s door close until there was just a crack remaining.
“Thank you,” he said.
She didn’t want to be alone and craved the contact of another person. “Do you want to stay?”
He paused, wondering if it was trap, then decided she deserved an honest answer. “Yes.”
She gave him a ghost of a smile, then took his hand and tugged him toward her room.
“Go ahead. I need to lock the door.” When he arrived in her room a moment later, she was settling in, still in her shirt. He turned out the lamp, undressed in the dark, then slid between the sheets, the linens feeling deliciously cool.
She rolled over and kissed him. “Just hold me, okay? I’m too tired for anything else.”
He smiled at the exhaustion in her voice, but said nothing as he gently urged her to lay on him. She snuggled in close with a sigh and he felt her relax into sleep almost immediately. He was a bit disappointed they weren’t going to make love, but the feeling soon passed. She was still in his arms, and that was enough for now. Her slow steady breathing quickly began to lull him to sleep, the lack of sleep last night catching up with him as well. He took a deep breath, allowing the sleep to claim him, a small smile still on his lips.