Chapter 18
Red stains soaked Rachel’s white uniform at such speed Madison feared she wouldn’t be able to help her. Rachel touched a hand to her stomach and crumpled, staring at David’s departing figure with a look of such betrayal it hurt to see it.
Madison caught her just before she hit the floor, vaguely aware of people surrounding them. “Call Viglar,” she screamed. “Now, do it now, or she’s going to die.”
She applied pressure to the wounds, but they were gut wounds, and David had sent several bullets where he must’ve known it would cause the most agony, ensuring that Rachel wouldn’t survive.
“I’m sorry, Rachel, it happened so fast. I should’ve tried to stop him. Grabbed the gun somehow.”
Blood bubbled out of Rachel’s mouth. “He would’ve killed you too.”
“You’re not going to die.” Madison looked at the doctors and nurses standing around them, staring with pity at Rachel. “Don’t just stand there. Get Viglar,” she screamed. She knew she sounded hysterical, but she was scared. She couldn’t do this, not again.
“Madison,” Rachel whispered between blood stained lips.
“Shh, don’t speak. Viglar will heal you. Viglar can heal anybody.”
Rachel pressed a blood-stained finger against Madison’s lips. “Nothing can help me--I have to tell you--sorry.”
The smell of the blood turned Madison’s stomach, reminded her of a hot Alabama swamp and a dying child. “Don’t worry about that. Just hold on until Viglar gets here.” He had to get there in time. She didn’t know what to do for such serious injuries. He was Rachel’s only hope. She kept seeing Ana’s face, hearing her pleading with Madison to save her somehow.
“You have to stop blaming--yourself--for everyone who dies.” Rachel pressed Madison’s hand when she would’ve talked. “I made my--decisions and paid for it. Pay for your own actions--not mine.”
“Oh, Rachel, I can--”
“No. Promise--you’ll stop playing God.”
“I’m not, I wasn’t.” Except, she did try to have the power of life over death. She stroked a hand over Rachel’s hair. It turned a deep red from the blood on her hands.
“Was mad--Joshua.”
That was the last thing she expected Rachel to say. “Joshua? What did he do?” Madison took the towels someone handed her and pressed them against the wound.
“Rejected m...” Rachel’s voice petered off.
“No, Rachel, just hold on, stay with me.” Madison couldn’t think about this now. About Rachel being mad enough to point a gun at her because Joshua rejected her. She should’ve told her he was gay a long time ago.
“Out of my way, humans.”
Madison could’ve cried with relief when she heard that arrogant voice. She looked up at him and swallowed the tears. “Please, Viglar, please help her.”
He knelt next to Rachel and ran his scanner over her body. He pressed a slim silver cylinder against her neck then sat back and looked at Madison. “She will die.”
Rachel smiled a macabre blood-filled smile with her teeth stained red and blood bubbling out of her mouth. “Knew you’d--truth.”
“No,” Madison screamed and grabbed his white coat, smearing blood all over it. “You have to help her. You’re Frankenstein, you bring people back from the dead.”
He removed her hands from his coat and held them in his. “Our medicine is advanced, and I can heal most wounds. These wounds are too severe. I have given her something to take away the pain. She will die in peace.”
Madison glared at him and turned to cradle Rachel close to her. Viglar was right, she did look at peace. She tried to smile at Madison. “I--am glad I had you as--my friend.”
Madison carefully wiped the blood still bubbling from Rachel’s lips. She could barely see what she was doing with the tears running down her cheeks.
“I--wish I had been a better--friend to you.”
Madison wanted to keen and scream to the heavens but she forced a strained smile. Rachel shouldn’t leave this earth with Madison’s screaming and crying in her ears. “Shh, you were the best friend a person could hope for.” This was her biggest nightmare come to life. It was just like what happened with Ana, Rachel was dying in her arms and Madison couldn’t save her. She’d thought with her years of study, with all the hard work she’d put in, that she would never have to hold a dying loved one in her arms and not know what to do. “I love you, Rachel, our friendship meant a lot to me.”
“Love you t--” Rachel’s eyes glazed over and between the one moment and the next Madison stared into her friend’s lifeless eyes--her eyes eerily like Ana’s that day when Madison saw the life leave her body.
She cried, couldn’t stop the sobs shaking her body and clutched Rachel when Viktor wanted to take her. He stroked a hand over her hair. “Let me take her. I’ll take good care of her. Her family will want to claim her.”
Viglar drew Madison into his arms. She couldn’t stop crying. She cried for her friend who’d been killed by someone she’d trusted, she cried for Ana who took one misstep in the swamp and died horribly. And she cried for herself because she knew, no matter how hard she studied or how hard she worked, she’d never be able to save everybody.
She balled her fists and beat them against Viglar’s chest. “It’s not fair. I want her to live so I can be mad at her and make up and be friends again.”
Viglar took her hands in his and simply held her. She was vaguely aware of him giving instructions on what to do with Rachel. She should do it, but she couldn’t face it yet. Wanted to pretend Rachel would phone her anytime now and invite her over for pizza. Madison didn’t want to acknowledge that her friend lay dead in a pool of her own blood.
“He ran away, the man who shot her ran away.” She hoped he rotted in hell.
“We have him. He will face justice,” Viglar told her.
Viglar picked her up. Everyone stood aside and allowed them to pass. He carried her to their apartment and took her to the bathroom. She stood dazed while he took off her clothes and ran a bath. “I should shower first. Get the--get the blood off.” She’d been covered with blood before but this was different. A constant reminder of a friend’s life snuffed out much too early.
Viglar hesitated, stepped out of his clothes, and pulled her into the shower with him. He held her against him while the warm water flowed over them. He rubbed her hands until all the blood was gone. At last he shut off the shower, helped her out, and placed her in the bath. He pressed her back. “Relax. I am coming back.”
She lay with her eyes closed, trying to empty her mind, to get rid of this feeling of dread that had settled over her. Viglar returned and handed her a small silver cup. “Drink it all.”
She swallowed it without comment. He stayed with her and, after an eternity--she’d lost track of time--he lifted her out of the bath and carefully dried her before putting her in the bed and getting in next to her.
“I can give you something to sleep.”
He knew she hated being given any sleeping aids, but right now she’d give anything for some sleep to forget everything that had happened for a short while. “Please.”
She woke feeling physically better, but still shell shocked. No matter what Rachel said, Madison felt responsible. She should’ve noticed something was wrong, listened to Viglar and Joshua. Except she’d seen the fanatic glow in Rachel’s eyes. The way she’d fixated on Joshua after only meeting him once. Maybe the seed of a kind of madness had been dormant in her until she met Joshua.
“Good morning, my breeder,” Viglar said and came in carrying her breakfast.
“I’m not hungry.”
He set the food on her lap. “It is normal for you not to be hungry. In my research, I have seen frequently that humans who lose a family member lose weight.”
“So then please take this away.”
“Rachel’s funeral is tomorrow.”
She frowned down at the food and then at him. “What does that have to do with me not feeling like eating anything?”
“You will need your strength.”
Madison stared down at the food and her stomach turned. He was right, she would need her strength.
“Would you do something for me?”
“Anything, my breeder.”
“Will you take me to see my mother after the funeral.”
“It will be done.”
She grimly forced down a few bites and then insisted on going back to work. “I will go crazy and just think about it the whole time if I’m not busy.”
He nodded, went with her to the first ward, and then pressed his forehead against hers and left her alone.
The funeral was as bad as Madison had expected. Seeing the coffin and Rachel’s sad parents was heart-breaking. Madison was so heartbroken herself that it took a while to realize everyone was glaring at them.
A tall middle aged man walked up to them. “We are grieving for Rachel and would appreciate it if you’d leave. Your kind is not welcome here.”
Madison gasped, but Viglar merely nodded and guided her back to the shuttle. She sat next to him at the console while he flew them to Alabama. “She was so serious. Always trying to get my brothers to stop fighting.”
“Rachel?”
“No, my sister Ana. She was two years older than me, but the way she acted, sometimes you’d think she was ten years older.” She smiled, remembering the times they’d sneaked into each other’s rooms to talk late into the night.
On that long flight to Alabama, she told Viglar about Ana, about everything that made her unique, how much she missed her, and how she’d never be able to stop blaming herself for her death. But she also told him of her desire to move on. Not to let her guilt dictate her actions anymore. She was a healer and she would heal, and she would still be upset and probably cry when she lost a patient, but she would try to learn acceptance.
When she stopped talking, they flew in silence for a while. “My family disowned me when I refused to be only a warrior and work until I could lead an expedition to conquer a planet.”
“They didn’t want you to become a doctor?”
“No, they accepted me back when I was known as the best scientist in the empire. When I refused The Zyrgin’s offer to be his personal physician, they banished me again. They were afraid he would destroy them for my actions.”
“Would he, did he.?
“No, he never blamed me. He understood and suggested I apply to go with Zacar.”
“What did your family do when you joined Zacar’s team,? Were they proud of you?”
“Zacar is what you would call The Zyrgin’s son. They did not dare disown me. I did not care for their opinion.”
Her heart ached for him. How terrible to be only accepted by your family as long as you were perfect and important.
Her mother waited for them outside the house when they landed. She drew Madison into her arms and just held her. They went inside and Madison told her how she felt that they blamed her for her sister’s death. That she should’ve saved her somehow. That her mother said it was her fault.
Her mother started to cry. “Oh, Madison, I can’t even remember saying that. It must have been the shock and grief. I never blamed you.”
“I tried so hard, Mama, but I just didn’t know what to do, and then Rachel was shot and I tried, but nothing helped her.”
“Madison, you cannot save everyone. You have to let go, my darling. Rachel made her choices.” Her mother hesitated. “I do not want to speak ill of the dead, but she was a very troubled young woman. I heard some of the calls she made to Joshua. I always thought she wanted to destroy herself.”
They said a tearful farewell. Viglar appeared and helped her into the shuttle.
Madison sat with her knees drawn up, her arms around her legs, Viglar sitting next to her at the console.
“In the end, Rachel tried to save me When it mattered, she tried to save my life.” Madison looked up at Viglar. “She was still my friend at the end. In a way, I can understand what she did. Why she did it. She lost her fiancé and two brothers at the Battle of No Name Town.”
Viglar looked down at her. “She saved your life. I will forgive her for endangering you.”