PRESENT…

I lie awake in the dark, my mates fast asleep on either side of me, and my mind wanders all over the place, bouncing like a ping-pong ball on steroids.

I’ve always wanted to be loved. I don’t need to visit a therapist to know that it stems from my father’s abandonment. Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Fred might have taken me in, but they did it out of a sense of duty, and then, as I grew older and became useful in the restaurant, they kept me around because I was cheap labor.

Chloe only cared about herself. I could never earn her love. I’d learned after the Calder Reese incident, to be careful about attracting her attention. The best I could hope from her was indifference.

And what’s the best I can hope for from Lud and Xan?

The mating bond is real. There’s no hiding that. Luddux and Xanthox turned into dragons when they saw me. They were able to transform freely after we did it for the first time.

So that’s something. Most people would be content with that. It’s my fault that I want more. It’s because of my insecurities that I want them to be head-over-heels in love with me. It’s my past that has made me so needy.

But they’re here now, and they’re trying to restore things to the way they were. I want that too.

All I have to do is forget one truth.

They were going to escape on the ship that Belfox and Herrix built, leaving me behind.

* * *

I’m falling, hurtling toward the ground. Then I jerk out of that dream and ease into a much nicer one.

Xan’s chest rises and falls in sleep. Slowly, I stretch out my hand and lay it on his warm skin. There’s never any doubt, he says to me. I choose you.

Behind me, Lud mumbles something and rolls into my back. His arm comes around my waist, and he cups my breast, his touch sure, as if he knows exactly how to please me.

I whimper in pleasure and grind against him. More…

Need rises in me. My body feels hot and heavy. I trace Xan’s chest, running my fingers over the contour of his muscles, rubbing my thumb over his nipple rings. He’s so big and powerful, every inch of him toned to perfection.  

He likes that. His eyes half-open, and he smiles at me. “Felicity,” he whispers. It warms me, the way he says my name. His voice is tender and loving. He cups my cheek, and I curl into him, craving his touch, craving him with almost painful desire. “Sweet one.”

“Xan,” I breathe. My touch grows bolder and my hand drifts slowly lower, and he inhales sharply in response. I reach the taut valley between his hip bones and his abs clench. His reaction sends a thrill through me.

“So small.” He captures my hand and splays his fingers, pressing his palm to mine.

“Yet strong,” Lud murmurs behind me, nuzzling my shoulder.

I’m flying in my dream, my body pressed between my two mates, sleepy and warm and content. I smile when they whisper sweet compliments, but I’m greedy too. I want more than their words. I let my hand slide lower, lower, until my palm rests between Xan’s hips and the tips of my fingers brush the gentle rise of his cock.

He gasps at my touch, and I pause, waiting for him to say something. Moments pass. “Are you done?” he finally asks, his voice strangled.

That’s a strange thing for him to say. Why would I want to stop touching him? “Do you want me to be done?”

“No. Touch me, Felicity. I am yours.”

That’s all the encouragement I need. I grasp his firm flesh, light fingers circling his cock and stroking down. His hips jerk upward, and I smile in my sleep.

“Mine,” I murmur. “All mine.”

I swipe my thumb across the tip of his cock, gathering his thick precum and spreading it across my fingers so they can easily glide up and down his length. I jack his thick rod slowly, marveling at the silky hardness, at how large he is.

“Felicity,” he breathes.

His hips strain, pushing his cock into my grip. I savor the weight of him in my hand, his small gasps and sharp intakes of breath. Luddux still has his hand on my breast, and he strokes me gently, pinching my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, making me writhe against his body...

Xan’s hips are now thrusting in sharp rhythm. I tighten my grip and glide faster. I want him to hit the breaking point and spurt into my hand. I want to see him unravel. Just for me.

He climaxes in little gasps, and a fresh surge of desire runs through me at his pleasure. My pussy is hot and heavy, throbbing for them, but I ignore it, cuddling against my mate. “Thank you,” he exhales, kissing my forehead.

Lud kneels between my legs. He parts them slowly, his sapphire eyes flashing with heat. I moan with pleasure as he bends down and kisses lightly up one leg, hovering over my pussy just long enough to feel his hot breath, and then kissing down the other. He spends some time at my knee, licking and sucking the sensitive skin, taking his time making his way back up. By the time he reaches the crease of my hip and thigh, my pussy is weeping. I rock my hips toward him, inviting him to come closer.

Xan lifts my hair and presses a kiss to my neck. His fingers swirl lightly around my nipples. My breasts go heavy with desire, and I gasp with pleasure at his touch.

Finally, finally, Luddux touches his tongue just to the right of my clit. Lightning sparks and ebbs through me as his tongue swipes a long, leisurely path up my slit before pressing down on my clit, flicking at the sweet spot. My thighs jerk and he holds them down. His head is buried between my legs, tongue thrusting into my entrance and back up, and I’m lost in a haze of need. I ache everywhere.

My nipples are tight and aching against Xan’s hand. My head rolls back on his shoulder, and he shifts to cradle me close. “That’s it, beautiful,” he encourages. “Just breathe. Let us give you pleasure.”

Lud flicks at my clit, and my muscles start to clench. “Lu—” Before I can call his name, my climax blooms under his worshipping mouth. I dig my fingers into his silky dark curls, holding him at the right spot as pleasure sings through me, cresting in little golden waves that go on and on. I have to tug on his hair before he stops stimulating me. His hot mouth goes over every inch of me, claiming me until I’m ready to howl his name.  

If this is a dream, I want it to go on forever.

Lud sits up and fists himself, his face fierce with concentration. A few minutes, and he cums with a groan. He wraps his arm around my waist, tugging me closer to him. I snuggle into him, pressing my face against Xan’s broad chest. “I love you,” I murmur.

They both go still.

My eyes flicker open to see Xan staring at me.

I wasn’t dreaming.

I said those words out loud.

To Xan and Lud, who were going to leave the prison planet without me.

“Felicity?” Xan’s voice is tentative.

I push at him and come to my feet, staggering a little in my haste to get out of the bed.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I stammer, pulling on a pair of pants. “All good. I just need to… um… go outside for a moment.”

“Let us come with you.”

“No,” I half-shout. I’m acting like a crazy woman. Xan and Luddux look stricken, confused, but their expressions are nothing next to the roiling in my chest.

I love you. What had possessed me to say that? It’s not enough that I’m vulnerable already, my emotions raw? I have to say the words that prove it?

How stupid can I be?

I hold up a hand. “I’m fine. I think I’ll take a walk. Everything’s good.” I don’t wait for them to agree, but head to the door. “I just need to be alone.”