The day of his electrocution was when everything changed for the worse.

It had been only just over a week since she first saw them bringing the subject into the facility, but meeting him seemed like a lifetime ago. When Miller suggested Rowan take the weekend off to clear her head, it felt like it might as well be a life sentence.

She didn’t want to be away from the project. No, she couldn’t be. The last meeting with the subject left her with a terrible sickness in her gut, especially how she had left. The idea of being cooped up in her house where she could do nothing to participate, to make things right, left her with a dread she couldn’t shake. She wasn't locked up in a stark white room, but she felt equally as helpless to her fate.

For the whole weekend, Rowan struggled to eat, sleeping sporadically while ignoring phone calls from Cameron that she couldn’t bare to answer. When Monday finally came, she arrived at the facility early, ready to make up for the wasted time in any way she could. Unfortunately, the bit of hope Rowan had left that something might be salvageable from the havoc of the previous week was quickly stifled as she met Phelps, who was leaving the facility as she arrived.

“Rowan.” He seemed surprised to see her, but not in a good way, and when she gave him a curious look, he lowered his eyes and sighed. “I was hoping I wouldn’t see you today. Rather, wishing you’d have the good sense not to show.”

She shook her head, baffled. “Why wouldn’t I show? After what happened, I have to try and do… Something. Miller… She completely destroyed any trust I had built with the subject. How are we supposed to move forward without his cooperation?”

Phelps gave a hopeless laugh. “I admire your dedication, Rowan. But… Margot is not going to allow you to see him. They’ve abandoned the observation room, moving onto research now. She has what she wants from the samples you collected. She doesn’t need his cooperation anymore.”

“No, that’s… Impossible.”

Rowan didn’t like what his words were doing with the terrible considerations that had been lingering in her head all weekend. She talked over her own thoughts, not wanting to give them attention, not wanting to doubt anyones’ intent, but the apprehension was already there, festering on her growing hopelessness.

“Miller said we would be working on a cure for the virus, so how are we supposed to give him an anti-viral treatment…”

Phelps reached out a hand, touching her shoulder in comfort when Rowan’s voice cracked in her realization. “Leave with me, Miss Platts. I’ll speak to Margot. Since you helped so much, she’ll let you walk away from this and go back to normal. We can just, go back to our previous study, like nothing happened.”

His touch had been encouraging, but at the addition of his offer, Rowan found herself withdrawing. “You’re… You’re leaving?”

He nodded, a grave expression sweeping him. “I can’t stay. I feel like I know where this is going, and I can’t take part.” He sighed, unsure how to elaborate further. Instead, he added. “I know this is not what you want to hear, and I know my opinion isn’t going to do much, but it would be smart for you to leave, also.”

“I can’t.” Rowan frowned hard with her immediate response, the panic setting in around her lungs, making her breath shallow.

Phelps was already nodding, expecting her reaction. After all, he knew her so well. He knew her career was important. He knew that she would do anything to be successful, just like Miller. He knew she was stubborn and determined and never gave up, even when she probably should. Yet, when she added to her words, they seemed to take him by surprise.

“I can’t just leave him.”

Phelps inhaled, speechless for a moment, before giving her a weak smile. “Well. You’re a brilliant woman, Dr. Platts. You’ll think of something.”

With that, he gave her his hand for a goodbye shake, a careful smile as he dismissed himself, leaving behind his key card in Rowan’s palm.

Rowan wanted to believe Phelps was wrong, assuring herself she could convince Miller to let her see the subject again. She just needed the right leverage. It became clear very quickly she wasn’t getting anywhere near the observation room anytime soon, though.

“How dare you put me in that position and expect me to go along with it?” Miller tried to keep her calm, but clearly, she was stewing in her frustration for the weekend just as Rowan had been. “You could have died, Miss Platts.”

Rowan noticed immediately the sting of being called Miss again, instead of doctor. “I was trying to gain his trust.”

“We don’t need his trust. He’s a murderer. All we needed was his cooperation, which we received. God, I shouldn’t have even allowed you to go back in there after getting the samples.”

Miller said that as if it had been Rowan’s decision to do so, which left her jaw on the floor for a moment before she managed to pick it up and respond. “You wanted me to go back in there to learn more about his past.”

Miller scoffed, the sound of it closer to a growl. “Unnecessary information. We can learn about the virus’ development during trial studies.”

“Trials, doctor?”

Something about that word did not sit well with Rowan, a hot wave of nerves crawling up her neck.

Almost on a dime Miller’s mood switched, lighting up with wild excitement as she dove into an explanation. “That’s right. We’d have to be crazy not to study this virus further. I’ve made a request for more funding so we can speed up our research and eventually move to human testing. If we can harness this virus’ potential… Well, at the very least we could have a powerful tool for use against disease, and at best...”

The flush that teased around Rowan’s collar drew cold sweat from the back of her neck. “You’re talking about turning people into monsters. We can’t even handle one boy with the virus. How are we supposed to handle multiple test subjects?”

Miller’s gleaming eyes went dull with Rowan’s disapproval. “You sound like Robert, ” she said, rolling her eyes with the intended jab.

“This testing won’t start for a while. We’ll have the proper facilities for it, and an antiviral for anyone that becomes too much of a problem. And from now on, don’t use a word like monster. It’s so negative. We’re talking about turning people into superhumans. This could be groundbreaking. You should be happy you get to be involved, Miss Platts. Not many women like us get to have something like this on their resume.”

Rowan bit down on her own tongue to try and level the disgust threatening to slip from her lips. She was already walking a delicate line. If Miller wanted, she could send Rowan away, as she expected would have been done with Phelps as well if he hadn’t left on his own accord. She couldn’t give Miller a reason to drop her, because there was still the subject to think about.

“And what about the subject? Are we just going to let him die in there?”

Miller sighed and rubbed at her temple, like Rowan was giving her a headache. “Please, be reasonable. It’s not like I’m happy about the situation either, but my hands are tied. There’s nothing we can do for him without putting someone in danger. Why would we waste time and resources rehabilitating a murderer when it’s not even positive it will work? What’s the best we could offer him? Moving him from this containment room to a prison after he’s cured? It’s easier for everyone to just have him expire in a controlled environment.”

Rowan put her hands in the pockets of her lab coat to hide them, her fists curled with tightly restrained frustration. Miller’s callus conclusion left Rowan feeling rubbed raw.

She put her trust in this woman because she was driven and successful, and she saw so much more of herself in Miller than she’d ever seen in Phelps. Now though, she was remembering all the gentle warnings Phelps had given her, that Miller could be cold and detached, blinded by her goals, hard-headed. She hadn’t seen anything wrong with those things before, but now Rowan realized where her moral line was, because letting someone “expire” certainly crossed it.

She reminded herself of how she’d look to Miller if she reacted hysterically: soft and emotional, in no state of making logical, reasonable decisions worth humoring. Misguided and infatuated with a blood hungry monster. So, instead of arguing her morals, that just leaving him was wrong, Rowan forced herself to nod in surrender.

“You’re right, doctor. I’m being... foolish. Thank you for allowing me to continue to contribute. This is an amazing opportunity.”

This wasn’t defeat, though. Clearly Miller had no intention of letting Rowan anywhere near the subject again, but arguing until she gave Miller reason to throw her off the project definitely wouldn’t do her any good, either. The only way she’d get back into the observation room was by playing by Miller’s rules.

While she was watching, at least.

Rowan dismissed herself with a trained smile, her mind already running wild with disjointed thoughts, trying to piece together an idea as she exited Miller’s office and headed down the hall to the research wing.

Just a moment was all she needed. To at least tell the subject she hadn’t left. That she was trying to help. Ideally, she’d want to get some blood to him too. It had been a few days, and while she was sure he probably didn’t need to eat as often as regular humans, his type of hunger was particularly unmanageable when left unattended. It was just a matter of waiting for an opportunity to present itself, which didn’t take as long as she expected.

She’d forgotten that she would pass the observation room on her way to the research lab, only reminded when she turned down the familiar corridor and saw the door ahead of her. Her heart caught an extra rhythm as her thoughts went into overdrive, scrambling for a cohesive plan to execute in the few seconds she had before reaching the door.

She could slip in while she passed the room and talk to him. All she had to do was pretend she was meant to go there. No one would notice as long as she wasn’t suspicious. But, then what?

It wasn’t like she’d be able to feed him this moment, unless she wanted to let him take straight from the source, which was out of the question, judging by the chill running up her spine at the idea. All the good it would do going in there would be letting him know she was trying to help. Trying to do something. That she hadn’t forgotten him. It was reason enough for her to feel the pull in her feet, inching closer to the side of the hallway with the observation room door.

What if someone saw her, though? If the wrong person caught her going in or leaving, she’d be dropped from the project immediately, which was the opposite of what she aimed for. Maybe she would have enough time to release him, before she was removed by Miller’s security…

And what, get killed along with everyone else? A foolish idea. No, he certainly couldn’t be released before getting treatment. As much as she’d like to help him out of that room as soon as possible, she needed to remember what he was still capable of. What he would certainly do given the opportunity.

Besides, that was all assuming she’d even get into the observation room. Her card key likely didn’t even work, and if she tried it and the door didn’t open, it would be a guaranteed cover blow. It was why Phelps had given her his. She was meant to make use of it, one way or another. If she used it now though, she likely wouldn’t get another chance.

The observation room door approached, and then it passed as she continued down the hall. She wanted to stop. Wanted to go inside and grovel against the glass for him to forgive her, make promises to help, but as badly as she wanted to offer some sort of comfort now, it wouldn’t do either of them any good in the long run.

She had to make a real plan. She had to be smart about it. He would have to wait, and Rowan would just have to pray he’d forgive her.

Maybe for now he was safer behind glass. Safe from himself, and from the ones on the other side of the glass that intended to use what he had for their own personal gain.