Fourteen
Astrid prowled around the private chambers she shared with her stubborn cyborg. And she did share the space with him. She woke this planet rotation to find her garments cleaned and folded, her boots polished, nourishment bars set on the horizontal support, a piece of his body armor clasped in her hands.
Her frustratingly obstinate male had visited her during the rest cycle. She missed him terrifically yet he hadn’t woken her, hadn’t touched her, hadn’t fucked her. The actions she’d taken to try to invoke his jealousy appeared to have no effect on him.
Perhaps she had misread him. Perhaps he didn’t care for her more than he valued his reputation. She tapped her fingertips against the overly large piece of armor she’d strapped to her wrist. Her heart ached. Her self-confidence was battered.
She couldn’t walk away from her cyborg. Giving up on him wasn’t a weapon in her arsenal. Her love for him, like his nanocybotics, hadn’t faded.
She had to utilize a different strategy, a more aggressive attack.
The viewscreen on the far wall buzzed, flashing light and dark. She sucked in her breath, forcing herself to calm down. It wouldn’t be him. It was never him.
She placed her right palm on the surface. “Yeah?”
“It’s Power.” The E Model’s face appeared on the screen.
She hid her disappointment.
Vengeance didn’t desire her enough to fight for her, to swallow his overinflated pride, to admit his theory about their connection dissipating over time had been wrong, so very wrong.
But that wasn’t Power’s fault. That male did want her, his attention soothing her tarnished sense of self-worth. He treated her with respect, looked at her with admiration, wanted her company.
She, unfortunately, only desired a certain unbending C Model. “Come in.”
The doors opened. Power entered the space, looking around him, his dark eyes glimmering with curiosity.
She had given Vengeance’s enemy access to his private chambers. Her cyborg wouldn’t like that, but her cyborg wasn’t here. She lifted her chin. Fuck him.
“Are you heading to the training chambers?” She asked the E Model, hoping the answer was yes.
“I am.” Power wrinkled his nose. “It smells like breeding in here.”
Her face heated. She’d been masturbating multiple times a planet rotation since her male had taken fucking off the agenda. “It wasn’t me. I haven’t touched anyone since arriving on this damn planet.”
“Vengeance told me he hasn’t touched you either.” Power appeared pleased.
They had talked about her. Likely decided her fate without her input.
“He’s reassuring you now?” She crossed her arms under her breasts, trying to guard herself from the hurt she felt. “Letting you know you still have a chance with me? Because that’s not his decision to make. I won’t be passed from warrior to warrior like a defective dagger.”
“I don’t view you as a defective dagger.” Power’s eyes glowed. “You’re everything a warrior could wish in a female—strong, fearless, intelligent, beautiful.”
“And bonding with me would give you even more power on the council.” She narrowed her eyes, not buying his lines. “Except you can’t bond with me. I’m already bonded to Vengeance.”
“We’re working on ways to break that bond.”
“We’re working on ways to break that bond.” She seized onto that statement. “Who is this we?” If Vengeance was part of that plot, her heart would break.
Not having anything left to live for, she would then kill him, truly kill him. He’d be a dead cyborg.
“I have a team of medics and scientists working on the project.” Power informed her.
Vengeance wasn’t involved. Some, but not all, of her pain eased.
“And I don’t need you to obtain power.” The E Model stuck his nose in the air. “I can rule the Homeland on my own.”
He was as arrogant as her male was. “Then why do you want me?” She had thought she’d known his motivation and had clearly been wrong. “I’m not your female. I can’t give you kids. I’ll never have that special bond with you.”
“I have no female.” Power’s voice softened. “There’s no match for me in the databases. And you’re correct. We won’t manufacture offspring. We will never have the genetic bond. But we could have affection. We could have the human love emotion. We could fight together, talk, touch. I could safeguard your secrets. You could protect mine. Neither of us would ever be alone again.”
The loneliness in the warrior’s voice destroyed all of her plans. She couldn’t use him to make her male jealous, couldn’t hurt Power more than he was already hurting.
Astrid blew out her breath. “You would settle for me.”
“I would care for you.” Power insisted. “I would never look at another female.”
“Even if your female is added to the databases?” She met his gaze. “I fought on planets with humans and humanoids no one else knew existed. The Humanoid Alliance and the Rebels thought the planets were unoccupied. Information about the females on those planets doesn’t appear in any databases.”
He stared at her. “No one logged their details?”
“They weren’t registered in any system. There are many planets with beings like that.” The universe was large and much of it was unexplored. “Would you deprive your female of the bond she could have with you? Would you doom her to death? Because without your nanocybotics, she’d die.”
The warrior’s face darkened. He was as protective of this unknown female as she had once believed Vengeance was of her.
Now, she didn’t know…about his feelings. She was certain of hers.
“I haven’t given up on my male,” she murmured. “You shouldn’t give up on your female.”
Power blinked slowly. “You feel the human love emotion for Vengeance?”
She nodded and summoned a smile. “Tell him I admitted that and you’re dead, E Model.”
“If your male hears about any part of our conversation, I’m dead.” The cyborg grinned, looking happier and more hopeful than she’d ever seen him. “You stopped me from making a huge mistake, Astrid Ragnhild. I will stop your male from doing the same.”
“What do you plan to do?” It irked her that she required another being’s assistance to win her cyborg’s affections. She wasn’t enough.
But sometimes additional forces were necessary to win a war.
“There’s a mock battle this planet rotation.” Power extracted a dagger from a sheath on his body armor and tossed it to her. “You will fight on my team.”
She caught the weapon, examined it. The blade had been modified for the mock battles. “Will Vengeance be fighting with us?”
“He’s leading the opposing team.” Power met her gaze.
Her smile turned genuine. “Then I’m going to mock kill him.”
Vengeance’s pride was a barrier between them. She would remove it.
And inflict some pain while she did it.
Because she was hurting, and he should too. He’d recover. He was a cyborg.
“You can mock kill your male after I’ve defeated him.” Power’s dark eyes gleamed. “He challenged me to this mock battle. I will fight him first.”
She doubted the E Model could defeat Vengeance. Her C Model had skills. “You can fight my male first, tire him out.” She conceded, slipping the dagger into one of her sheaths. “That will make him easier to mock kill and I—”
The viewscreen on the far wall buzzed yet again. Was that Vengeance? Had her plot to make him jealous finally worked?
She rushed to the device, placed her palm on it. “Yeah?”
“It’s Medic Tifara.” The female’s face appeared on the viewscreen and Astrid once more bit back her disappointment. “I’m here with Death, my male, to scan you.”
“Come in.” She glanced at Power. “I’m in demand this planet rotation.” Some beings wanted to see her. Not the male she desired, however.
“Great warriors are always in demand.” The E Model gazed up at the display of weapons. “Are some of these yours?”
“Yes.”
The doors opened. Medic Tifara hurried inside, followed by her warrior. She stopped short when she saw Power. “Did you touch her?”
Astrid’s face heated. “He didn’t touch me. No one has touched me for planet rotations.” That irked her. “We’re training together.”
“Uh-huh.” Medic Tifara narrowed her gaze at the E Model. “You will have to train together later. I’m completing a full scan this planet rotation. That might take a long time.”
“I don’t require a full scan.” She needed to burn off her sexual frustration and practice for the mock battle. Those were higher priorities for her.
The medic’s gaze shifted from Power to her. “Your garments are loose on you.”
Her ass coverings hung low on her hips. “I haven’t been hungry,” she mumbled.
“Repair your damage, Astrid Ragnhild.” Power moved toward the exit. “I’ll meet you in the training chambers.”
The doors closed behind him. Silence stretched.
“There are other warriors than Power, more suitable warriors for you.” Medic Tifara scanned her with a handheld. “I’m devising a way to break your bond with Vengeance. When you’re free, you’ll have your choice of males.”
“I didn’t say I wanted to be free.” Why did everyone assume that?
The medic gave her a pitying glance. “It has been multiple planet rotations. Your nanocybotics haven’t faded, yet Vengeance hasn’t relented. The urge to breed with you must be painfully intense for him.”
Death nodded, his expression grim.
Astrid’s face heated. They both believed Vengeance would rather endure the harshest of pain than breed with her. “He’s stubborn.”
“No male is that stubborn.” Medic Tifara gazed at the handheld’s tiny screen. “And don’t worry about the lack of a genetic bond. The female cyborgs have no genetic bond with their males. Not every male will find his match.”
“They’ll settle.” For her, a female discarded by her mate. She lifted her chin, her pride and her heart wounded. “There’s no need for this discussion. Vengeance will relent.”
“You’re the only being who believes that.” Medic Tifara’s words were soft.
She was the only being. Others had been talking about their situation, judging her, pitying her. “I’m the only being who truly knows him.”
She looked down at her boots. They had been polished until they shone. She touched his forearm armor. Her male had left that for her.
Those were signs of caring…weren’t they?
“Who asked you to perform a full scan on me?” She suspected she knew the answer.
“Vengeance made that request.” The medic exchanged a glance with her male. “No honorable warrior would want a being under his protection to be damaged.”
Vengeance was an honorable warrior. Was that the only reason he tended to her needs? Because it was his duty?
Fuck him. Her face hardened. Fuck all of them. “I’m not damaged.”
They could leave her the fuck alone.
Medic Tifara’s head dipped. “You haven’t been taking in enough nourishment but you’re not damaged.”
“Tell him that.” Astrid drew one of her guns, tired of her warrior’s shit. “Cyborgs can be stunned, right?” She switched the lever to that option.
“It works on their organics, but—”
“That’s all I needed to know.” She walked through the doors. Medic Tifara and Death could show themselves out.
The two C Models in the corridor straightened.
“Give this message to your leader.” She shot first one warrior and then the other, the surprise in their eyes appeasing some of her pain.
Every cyborg she passed got stunned. They wanted to pity her? She was Astrid Fuckin’ Ragnhild, the Buoir Berserker. Their asses were hers.
That communication must have been shared because the corridors soon emptied, males dashing out of range, doors closing.
She didn’t care. They weren’t her true target. Or her primary mission.
Being a warrior, always prepared, always having an exit plan, she’d studied the schematics for the structure, those plans found in a database on the viewscreens.
She headed toward the docking bay for the level, stunning all of the guards, all of the warriors operating the space. There were several ships from which to choose. She entered the smallest one, located the bridge, sat in the captain’s chair.
The urge to leave, to steal the ship and fly away, was intense. Even if she succumbed to that yearning, she would return to the Homeland.
Her link with Vengeance hadn’t been severed. She hadn’t given up on him, would fight at least one more round, but right now, she required space.
Merely sitting in the ship gave her that.
Moments passed. She was blessedly alone, kept company only by her hurt, her humiliation, her anger.
Then she was no longer solitary, her refuge infiltrated. The air around her changed, infused with an energy, a connection.
“Are you damaged?” An achingly familiar voice asked the question from behind her.
“I’m not physically damaged.” Emotionally, she had been torn apart. “I guess I proved your point, huh?” Her laugh was shaky. “A female bonded with a warrior can be a threat to the Homeland.”
“You stunned them. You didn’t kill them.” Vengeance sat three seats away from her.
She couldn’t look at him. Her feelings were too raw, too exposed.
“You’re no threat to the Homeland.” He said that with certainty.
She didn’t disagree with him because he was right—she was no threat to the Homeland. Her anger was directed at him and at herself.
Fuck. She was a fool.
“Your warriors didn’t expect to be stunned.” That gave her a droplet of satisfaction. She’d surprised them all.
“They should have expected it.” Her male put his big hands on the console. She yearned to feel those palms on her skin, longed for his touch. “They should always be prepared for an attack.”
“You told them not harm me.” She guessed that. That was why they hadn’t reacted, hadn’t tried to disarm her.
He didn’t say anything, his lack of answer telling her he had given that order.
Silence stretched. Her heart ached.
“Well, you’ve handled the situation.” Her tone was bitter, but she hurt too much to hide it. “My rampage of stunning your brethren is over. You can return to your busy lifespan.” Without her.
“Can I?”
Footage played on the main viewscreen. The mother predator, looking well-fed and a little bit sleepy, chewed on a bone. Her cubs fought over a piece of hide, tugging it back and forth, their growls adorable.
Astrid watched the family, wishing both she and Vengeance had stayed on her home planet. They had been happy there…when they weren’t trying to kill each other. She had felt cared for, part of his clan, respected.
“Are you monitoring the predators from here?” She still couldn’t look at him.
“I observed them before we left.” His voice, low and deep, coiled around her. “That was one of the reasons I wasn’t with you when you woke.”
What was his excuse now? Her soul cried out. He could be with her every planet rotation…if that was what he truly desired.
“Did Power emotionally damage you?” Her possessive male asked. He might not want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her.
“Power doesn’t have the ability to emotionally damage me.” Only he did. “I told you once that I was tired of being alone. I meant those words.”
“My warrior female—”
“No.” She finally gazed at him. He was so fuckin’ handsome and big and strong. And that made her angry, very, very angry. She pointed her gun at him. “I’m not your warrior female.” She pressed the trigger, stunning him.
Vengeance froze, his mouth open, his eyes blazing.
“I’m not your anything anymore, cyborg.” Her rage spiraled upward. “You made that clear to everyone, bringing me to this damn planet and then deserting me. And you didn’t leave me quietly either, did you? You made a huge show of it, ensuring every fuckin’ being knows you’ve rejected me. They’re all aware that you don’t want me, that you would rather spend an endless lifespan alone and frustrated than share a sleeping support with me.”
She stood, unable to remain seated.
“Your brethren look at me with pity.” Her voice strengthened. “I’m Astrid Ragnhild, the Buoir Berserker, one of the best warriors in the fuckin’ universe, and they think I’m desperate for any cock that comes my way.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched.
Not wanting to hear words he didn’t mean, she stunned him again, silencing him. “I care for you. Clearly.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s the only reason I’ve put up with all of this shit. But my patience has run out, warrior. As of this moment, your nanocybotics inside me or not, I’m doing whatever I want to do. Fuck your pride. Fuck our connection. Fuck the relationship I mistakenly believed we had.”
She removed the armor from her forearm, slammed it down on the console.
“If I want to spend time with Power, I will. If I want to fuck the circuits out of every cyborg I see, I will.” Her chest heaved. “I’m a free female.”
That was a lie. She wasn’t free at all. Her heart was his, would always be his.
She gazed at him, some of her anger dissipating. “You’re a great warrior, Vengeance, one of the best I’ve ever fought against. If you wanted to win me back, I’m certain you could. It would no longer be an easy battle. Those trenches you’ve dug between us? I plan to use them to defend myself.”
She leaned toward him, placing her face a breath away from his. Her lips parted, the temptation to kiss him so fuckin’ strong. She missed his metallic taste, his warmth, the firmness of his lips.
“But I don’t think you want to win me back.” She sighed, pulling away from him. “Not enough to fight for me. You don’t care for me that much, and I’m not willing to settle for less.” She gave him a sad smile. “Humans have pride too. It isn’t merely a cyborg failing.”
She squared her shoulders, gathering the remnants of her self-confidence around her. “Not every war is winnable, Vengeance. I realize that now.”
She stunned him a third time, turned, and walked away.