I couldn’t breathe. The air felt heavy and thick and it was suffocating me.
The way Portia and Rhys stared at me with pity in their eyes, filling in the gaps for what must have happened to me…I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I stomped out of that claustrophobic little cabin and let the animal have control again.
She was a beast. My wolf. My savior. She’d done what I wasn’t able. She’d fought for both of us. And she’d won. Now, here I was, stuck in the middle of Alaska with my childhood crush tasked with taking care of little ‘ol broken me.
A raven squawked overhead when I jumped off the tiny front porch. I looked up and growled at the avian shifter, warning her to stay the fuck back. She tucked her wings and dove straight for me, only missing my rear because I managed to squirm to the side at the last minute. Bitch, I thought a moment before I snapped my jaws at her. That was when I sensed something behind me and heard the feral growl of a black panther cub. The raven buzzed his head, trying to get his attention. But his eyes…those bright yellow predatory eyes, had homed in on my wolf. I knew this was a young shifter. I could smell it on him. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t teach him a lesson if he attacked.
Spinning on my hind legs, I lowered my head and growled at the young cat. He licked his lips and assumed a pouncing position before I could bark my command to stop. The raven swooped just as the cat leapt in the air. He screamed in pain when the giant bird hit him in the side of the head and knocked him off balance. The two continued mouthing off to each other, so I took that as my cue to leave. My wolf and I wouldn’t fight a child no matter how messed up we were.
I sprinted through the shit hole known as Eagle Creek, snapping at any and all shifters who gave me a dirty look or flashed their teeth in my direction. I didn’t even slow when the giant male lion strutted out from behind the cabin at the end of the road and attempted to block my path. Instead, I faked right then dodged left and skittered around his menacing self. The air behind me stirred as a giant paw swiped at my hind quarters, but, growling over my shoulder, I kept running. Letting my wolf take control was the only thing that had kept me sane these past few weeks. She could handle the anger and guilt and…everything I’d been feeling since Cash had abused us for the final time.
Straight ahead was an opening. Some type of meadow or field covered in dead grass and completely exposed. I chose the forest on the left instead. The tall pines still stood full of their greens and I just wanted to hide in the darkness they created for as long as I could. About a mile in, I finally stopped when I reached a rock outcropping that would force me to climb up the side of the mountain if I wanted to go further. The need to run until exhaustion egged my animal on. She knew what I needed…what we both needed right now. But something inside the human part told her to stop for a moment. Searching behind me, I found only silence. Not a bird made a noise. The ground critters stayed hidden. The air was still too.
And I wished my emotional self could have that kind of calmness right now.
I forced my animal inside and shifted onto two legs. The damp leaves pressed against my toes as the cool breeze whistled between the branches of the surrounding trees. What the fuck was I going to do? Deep down, I knew Portia was doing the right thing by hiding me here, but I didn’t want to rely on anyone for support. Not my sister. Not my father. And especially not Rhys Murray.
He’d always been the unattainable. Gorgeous, confident, cocky…every female in our pack had dreamed about being Rhys’ mate. Well, everyone except Portia, but Portia had always been different than the rest of us. Rhys, on the other hand, fit in well with the men of our pack. My father liked him, even though he eventually sent Rhys away. I’d always wondered why and never really got an answer. I assumed it was because Rhys had become a threat—not directly but there was no hiding the alpha power inside Rhys. And when my father became our leader, he didn’t want to have to face the challenge Rhys would ultimately present.
So, he sent him to Alaska.
Just like he did with me.
Discard and forget. Apparently, it was the Dunanski way.
The thought of being discarded, of being someone’s trash that they wanted to dump, fueled the anger inside of me once again. Hunching forward to hold the pain in, I did my best to keep the animal under control. She was the beast that bowed to no one…not even the memories of Cash and the feeling of his fists slamming against my face.
“Ah,” I cried out in pain. “No, no, no,” I pleaded. “Please, I need a break.” All of the shifting had destroyed my body. Bruises decorated my skin in places long healed from Cash. My muscles ached constantly and the pain in my joints would have kept me in bed had my wolf not been so anxious and angry. “Please,” I begged again, voice shaking with exhaustion.
“Are you okay?”
I spun around so fast, my back slammed against the tree trunk as I crouched low and faced the intruder. “What are you doing here?”
Rhys, in his typical jeans and dark tee shirt, adjusted his ball cap and took a few tentative steps forward. “Who are you talking to?” he asked, ignoring my question.
“Go away,” I growled, squeezing my eyes shut at the pain of my wolf trying to claw free.
“I can help you,” he whispered.
I opened my eyes and saw the confidence in his own. He could help me? No, no one could help me. “Go away,” I repeated.
“Natasha, you don’t have to—”
I leapt away from him when he crouched down next to me. “Leave me alone!”
Rhys let out a sigh and pulled off his cap. Longer blond hair fell forward, nearly covering his face and those amazing blue eyes of his. He sat down and pulled his knees up in front of him—treating me like I was some kind of feral animal. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
His voice was soft, kind almost, yet I knew he was trying to distract me. I said nothing.
“I like your tattoos.”
The comment caught me off guard, forcing me to almost smile at him. “I’m not a child anymore.” The grin that stretched across his face heated up my insides. Holy hell, I’d forgotten how alluring he could be.
“Yes, I can see that,” he growled, the scent of arousal filling the air.
I blushed, suddenly realizing I was naked in front of him. But that lust instantly turned to anger when I thought about the last time I’d felt that way. When I’d met Cash and he’d wooed me with his money and his charm. Before he ripped the life out of me and turned me into the monster I was today, here, crouched in the forest like a startled stray.
Sensing my shift in thoughts, Rhys tossed the hair out of his face and ground the ball cap together between his large hands. The muscles on his forearms flexed and my wolf recognized that protectiveness he was trying to hide. “I can help you,” he repeated.
“No one can help me.”
“That’s not true. Your wolf is protecting you right now, but she doesn’t always want to be in charge.”
“How do you know this?” I snapped. “You can’t possibly understand what I’ve been through!” The tears dropped down my cheeks as I let the anger out. “You’ve never dealt with a person so…so psychotic and mean. Someone who only sees you as a prize and not a person at all. You don’t have any idea what it’s like to feel so worthless and ugly.” My voice hitched as the sobs increased. The pain in my stomach grew to a pit of despair while I poured my heart and soul out to a man I hadn’t talked to in almost a decade. “Don’t even pretend to understand what it’s like having your wolf save you from your own idiotic mistakes. Mistakes that you’ve made over and over because you don’t deserve anything better. My wolf saved me,” I cried. “She is the only thing keeping me alive right now.”
Falling to my knees, I let the tears flow. My sobs slowly started turning into growls as the wolf begged for my body. I wanted to give it to her, really, I did. But as I lay on the forest floor crying like a little girl, Rhys had crawled to my side. The heat from his body made me shudder, and that familiar wave of lust and need snaked underneath my skin, making me crave his touch.
Rhys’ hands found my face and lifted my chin. “I hate seeing you like this, Natasha,” he whispered.
Closing my eyes, I felt the tears continue to fall. “Well, this is who I am now.”
“No, my little wolf. No. You are so much more.”
I looked up at him in time to see his lips closing in on mine. And a moment later, we were doing the one thing I’d always wanted and never got…Rhys Murray was kissing me. It was gentle at first. A soft peck, testing the waters and my stability. But when I parted my lips and allowed him to push his tongue inside, I quickly melted against his body. His warmth filled that deep, dark pit with something colorful. My heart sped up with need, not anger. And for the first time in weeks, my wolf sat dormant and watched.
I pulled away from the kiss, surprised by how comforted I felt. “What are you doing to me?” I whispered.
Rhys grinned and huffed a laugh. “I told you I could help you.” His deep, raspy voice let me know that kiss had done something to him too.
“Is this how you handle all your wolves?” I teased.
His fingers brushed the sides of my cheeks and then stopped underneath my chin. “This is how I handle you,” he breathed.
My stomach lurched with an aching need to be touched and admired and…loved. I tilted my head and begged him to kiss me again. But I didn’t need to. In an instant, Rhys’ lips were on mine, crushing me with his desire and his own hungry needs.
I ran my hands along his back, the tight, bulky muscles pulsing underneath my nails. His strong body flexed and shifted against my own until I found myself lying beneath him on the forest floor. The bulge in his jeans rubbed against my sex while he teased me with his lips. Sucking and nipping and pulling…Rhys certainly knew how to please a woman with just this one body part. Mouths crashing into each other, I pulled his hips down against me, telling him what I wanted.
He smiled, our teeth hitting and forcing us both to laugh. “Mmm,” he mumbled. “The big bad wolf wants to come out and play.”
“Oh,” I breathed, “you have no idea.” Rhys slipped his hand between my legs and sucked on my neck. My breath hitched with the sensation, making me realize just how much I needed a release. And when he started flicking my clit, I stopped breathing all together.
“Let go,” he whispered. “I won’t let you fall.”
My memory flashed back to a time when we were kids and he’d forced me to climb too high in a tree. Portia had jumped down with no problem at all. So had Rhys and our other friends. But when I’d walked out to the edge of the branch and looked down, panic glued my feet firmly to the bark and I couldn’t make myself move. It was Rhys who’d promised to catch me and it was because of him that I’d finally took the plunge.
And now, here he was, all grown and all man, asking me to trust him once more.
Letting out a breath, I relaxed into his touch. Lips found every inch of my neck while his fingers explored all of my sex. The pressure built quickly in my core and in no time at all, I found myself guiding his hand against my folds. The ground was cold and damp and soothed my aching body. I also ached for Rhys to push inside. I wanted to feel all of him after years of wondering what it would be like. Grinding my hips against his hand and his erection, I let him know exactly what I needed right now.
Rhys chuckled and kissed my lips. “Patience,” he teased. And then he pushed two fingers inside and watched me squirm beneath him. “You are beautiful, Natasha. You deserve to be treated like a queen.”
I found his words amusing, but the heat between my legs kept me focused on just that. My skin tingled with anticipation, and when Rhys bit my nipple, I let the fire explode from within. He continued to play with my sex as I orgasmed against him. Wave after wave of aftershocks raced through my body, and a feeling of total euphoria engulfed my brain. I’d needed this. I’d needed this and Rhys knew it.
He said he could help me and he had.
Lying beneath him on the cold ground, I smiled at the instant calmness circulating about. My wolf was silent. My anger was silent. And even the fear of being hunted was silenced temporarily. I looked up at Rhys, his hair hanging over his face again and that damn smile knowing just how amazing he was, and said, “Thank you.”
He laughed a moment before squeezing my hip. “No, thank you,” he cooed.
“So, is this what you had in mind when you said you could help me?”
“No, not exactly,” he said with a grin. “But I’m not against trying out other methods too.”
Letting out a breath, I closed my eyes. “I needed this right now, but you can’t fix everything with sex.”
“No?” he teased.
“No,” I said, that sadness slowly starting to seep back in.
Rhys sat up and pulled me along with him. “Let’s get back to the camp and we can figure out what we’re going to do the next several days, okay?”
“Is Portia gone?”
He hesitated before saying, “Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?” he asked.
“For dumping my issues on you. On Eagle Creek. I would have never come here if I’d had a choice.”
Rhys’ smile dropped and he helped me up to my feet before speaking again. “Well, I’m glad you’re here now.”
Knowing I’d said something to offend him, I stayed silent and kicked myself on the inside. There I go again…fucking up everything good as soon as I get it. Rhys didn’t need to be offended by my words. He just needed to ignore me and discard me like everyone else.
As we walked back to the camp, I slowly started to pull myself away and prepare for the inevitable disappointment that would be coming sometime during my stay. Portia didn’t want me around. My father didn’t want me around. And soon enough, Rhys would learn that I only bring trouble.
Eagle Creek might be better off if they turned me in to Cade Jenssen and his pack. I would only bring them pain and the sooner they recognized that, the sooner we could all get on with our lives. I really enjoyed the brief encounter with Rhys…it was a friend helping a friend. But unfortunately, my presence would only hurt this little community and the life he’d built here.
And I would do anything in my power not to hurt him.