The pillow was damp with tears and Lily flipped it over again, trying to find a dry spot. This was ridiculous. She’d cried herself to sleep for three nights in a row. And the tears hadn’t changed a thing. She was going to give herself tonight, one more night to get it all out of her system. Then tomorrow she was going to wake up and start over. Snap out of it. Get a life.

But tomorrow came and went—and then a week of tomorrows—and she didn’t snap out of it. She felt physically ill. She felt as if someone had died. She felt angry. And heartbroken.

On a Sunday afternoon, she Skyped with her parents.

“Are you okay, Lil?” Her mom squinted into the camera. “You don’t look good.”

“Wow, thanks, Mom.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. But I’m serious. You look sick.”

“I’ve felt better,” she admitted.

“What’s wrong?” Her dad had always been able to read her like a book.

“Nothing I won’t get over eventually.”

Mom leaned closer to the screen. “What happened? Lily? What’s going on?”

That did it. The tears gushed. “It’s nothing,” she sobbed.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing, sweetheart.” Dad clucked his tongue like he had when she was a little girl with skinned knees.

Which only made her cry harder. “It’s just a stupid guy. I don’t even know why I bother.”

“A guy? I didn’t know you were even dating anyone.”

“That’s the crazy thing. I really wasn’t. I only had two dates with Gage.”

“Gage? His name was Gage?”

Lily giggled through her tears. “It still is, Mom. His name.”

“Well, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. And you deserve better.”

“You don’t even know him, Mom. He’s sweet and funny and kind and—”

“I don’t know how kind he could be if he broke my Lily’s heart,” Dad said. “What did he do? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, Dad. He just had the audacity to accept an offer for his dream job”—she sighed into the phone—“which happens to be in Omaha, Nebraska.”

“Well, that does present a problem, doesn’t it?” Dad’s thoughtful tone comforted her. “But if he doesn’t see what a treasure you are, then he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t waste another tear on a guy like that.”

“That’s just it, Dad. He’s exactly the kind of guy I should waste tears on…” As if on cue, the waterworks started again, then turned to wry laughter. “This is crazy! I’m defending a guy I only knew for two weeks.” She blew her nose and dabbed at fresh tears, her humorless laughter returning. “How can one person produce so many tears and so much snot in such a short time about such a ridiculous thing?”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Dad said. But he looked a little relieved that she could still make little jokes about it.

But mom’s scowl only grew deeper. “Do we need to come home?”

Lily didn’t miss the nudge her dad gave Mom. They couldn’t afford to come home over something like this. “You’re sweet to offer, Mom,” Lily said quickly. “But there’s nothing you could do. I’ll be fine. I just need to be sad for a little while.”

“Well, don’t be sad for too long. There’s not a man on this earth who’s worth that.”

“Hey now… I resemble that remark.” Dad laughed his corny laugh and wrapped Mom in a bear hug from behind.

Which only made Lily miss Gage all the more. Would she ever find what her parents had? Would she ever have a chance at the kind of love they had for each other?

She looked away. “Can we please change the subject?”

So they talked about the bakery and the book club. Fudge put in an appearance, and after Lily hung up, she went to the bathroom and washed her face, then changed into her running shoes and went for a long walk. The weather was glorious with the flowering trees in full bloom. She had a good long talk with God—the kind where she let Him do most of the talking—and by the time she got back to the house, her spirits had lifted a little.

The following morning, she drove to Schnucks on the edge of town. She filled her cart with the baking supplies she usually ordered online. One at a time. The store actually had a very good selection, and their prices were competitive. It wouldn’t take her much longer to do her shopping here than it did to place an order online. Besides, it would do her good to get out once in a while.

And she didn’t need her doorbell ringing every day with a certain delivery man dropping packages on her porch, reminding her of what she’d lost.

* * *

April bloomed into May, and May quickly turned to June. Lily’s tears had mostly subsided, and now, when she thought about Gage Simmons—which was more often than she intended… Okay, which was pretty much every waking moment of every stinking day. And sometimes even in her dreams—but when she thought of him now, the memories were sweet.

Bittersweet maybe, but less bitter each day. She didn’t understand why they had happened, why God had allowed her to fall hard for a man who was headed to a town eight hours away. But Gage had given her two wonderful weeks. Maybe the sweetest of her life.

For the first month after he’d called things off, she had picked up the phone every single night determined to call him, talk some sense into him, say something that would change his mind.

But something—or Someone?—wouldn’t let her make those calls. And besides, she didn’t want Gage on those terms. She wanted him to be the one making the call. Because he couldn’t live without her. Because he loved her. But of course, that sounded like lunacy when she remembered what he’d said more than once: they’d only known each other for two weeks.

Now, with the perspective of a few months behind her, she was starting to wonder if Gage had been God’s way of helping her get over the bitterness she’d felt toward Dustin. Or maybe it was just God’s way of making sure she didn’t hate jocks in general for the rest of her life. She smiled at the thought. But if that was the reason—and it had worked—why couldn’t she put thoughts of Gage Simmons behind her?

She was pretty sure Gage wasn’t sitting around moping over her two months later. In fact when he’d dropped her off at her house that day after the picnic they never ate, he’d sent her off with what amounted to his blessing for her to find another guy. “Maybe I shouldn’t say it, Lily,” he’d told her, “But for what it’s worth, these have been the best two weeks of my life. I know you’re going to make somebody very, very happy someday, and whoever he is, I’m already jealous of him.”

Had he only said that so he would be free to find someone else? Maybe he’d already found someone. Someone who would follow him to Omaha? She lived in dread of running into him with someone else.

Sometimes she wondered if she should have fought harder for Gage. And maybe she would’ve if they’d had more than two weeks together under their belts. But they hadn’t. And she’d done her best to accept that things happened for a reason and God must have something else in mind for her. She was learning that God didn’t owe her any explanations for the ways He was at work in her life. And she was learning that she could trust Him with her life.

So she woke up each morning making an effort to look for little bits of sunshine in each day, trying to find her way back to happiness. And most days, she was successful.

But sometimes, like today, she simply couldn’t ignore the ache that had settled in where Gage used to be.

* * *

The minute he turned down the street, Gage knew he should have kept on driving.

But the delivery truck seemed to know its way to this particular street in Langhorne. He should turn around while he still could.

But too late. There it was. Her house at the end of the cul de sac, with its tidy lawn and two huge pots of red geraniums blooming on either side of the front porch.

He had no business coming here. Could probably get arrested for stalking if anyone was so inclined. But Lily wasn’t like that. She was only inclined to sweetness and kindness and light.

Twitterpated. Still.

The memories rushed at him like a ninety-mile-an-hour fastball.

He wasn’t sure what he hoped to accomplish driving by her house. He told himself he just wanted to be sure she was okay. But even if he saw her standing out on her lawn with that hundred-watt smile she’d always had for him, that wouldn’t really tell him anything. After all, he still smiled now and then. Laughed even sometimes when the guys on the loading dock got to horsing around. But that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her so bad it hurt.

Sometimes he wanted to kick himself for not just letting things play out, see where it went with Lily and him. After all, if he could feel like this about a woman after two weeks, think what another three or four months could have wrought. But he was scared. Scared of feeling again the way he had when he found out about Sabine’s betrayal. It had taken too long to heal from losing her. No, not losing her, because if she could so easily find someone new, then he’d never really had her. And even though he realized now that it was for the best, those had been dark days for him. And he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to walk that road again.

And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair to Lily to continue on as they had. Summer romances had a bad reputation, and she deserved better. He’d told her she would make someone very happy someday. Idiot. The thought of Lily with someone else filled him, not with anger but with a sadness akin to grief.

And yet, he would never have told anyone that. It sounded crazy. He’d never even mentioned Lily to his sister. And usually he told Cara everything, since she’d practically raised him after Mom got sick. But he’d only known Lily for two lousy weeks. You did not tell your sister—at least not his sister—that you had a thing for a girl unless it was dead serious. Because Cara would either have him married off, or she’d find something wrong with the girl and convince him she was all wrong for him.

But now it felt like he was ashamed of Lily or something. Like he had to hide someone who meant the world to him. Why couldn’t he shake these feelings?

He looked away from her house and concentrated on turning the truck around in the cul de sac—and getting the heck out of Dodge.

Tonight he would go home like he had every night since dropping Lily off for the last time. He would watch the news, try to study, wash his face, brush his teeth. Then he would sit on the bed, pick up the Martin…and pray.