Chapter 15
Jax
What the fuck is she doing here? I was having a great day too. I spent the day at my mate Tom’s compound, working on his Big Air ramp. Yeah, the dude has a mega ramp in his backyard, it’s totally insane. Anyway, I finally managed to get my run down, the one I did at the Extreme Games that I fucked myself with. Everything was perfect, the height, the extension; it would’ve been a beautiful sight to behold. So I do that for a couple of hours until I feel like I could pull it off in my sleep. I come home on a cloud of awesomeness, only to find her here. While one part of me is ecstatic to see her, the other part, the one she tore to shreds when she up and disappeared on me, wants her to go the fuck away.
A soft knock on my door tears me from my thoughts. “Please go the fuck away,” I shout.
“Jax, please, can we talk?” Bentley says.
“What’s there to talk about?” I ask.
“A lot. Please, just open the door.”
“Why should I?”
“Because you deserve to hear what I’ve got to say.”
“What do you reckon?” I ask Buttons, who’s curled up on my pillow. “You think I should let the He-Man Woman Hater in?” She yawns in response. “Yeah, I don’t know either.”
“Please, Jax,” Bentley pleads again.
With a sigh, I get up and let her in. God, she’s so fucking beautiful. If someone asked me to describe my perfect woman, Bentley would be it to a T. But all that means nothing, because she doesn’t want to be with me, so now she’s my own personal torture device.
“Thank you,” she says as she steps into my room.
“Just say what you’ve got to say, Bentley. I can’t take any more of this shit,” I say, flopping back on my bed. All of a sudden, I’m exhausted, and I know it’s because I’ve given up. I can’t keep fighting for her, for us, when she doesn’t want it. My whole life I feel like I’ve been fighting to keep people close to me, and for the most part, it never works. Why I thought this time would be different, I don’t know.
“Can I sit?” she asks, gesturing to the end of the bed.
“Whatever.”
Somewhat timidly she takes a seat and turns to face me. “First, I want to say how happy I am that you got the all-clear from your doctor. That’s great news.”
“Thanks,” I say.
“You’re welcome.” She gives me a small smile that I don’t return. Her shoulders slump a little. She takes a deep breath and shrugs it off. “Second, I wanted to apologise for how I reacted after we, um, you know.”
“Fucked,” I supply. “After we fucked.”
She flinches at my tone but I can’t find it in myself to give a shit. “Yeah, that. I freaked out, I’m sorry.”
“Whatever. Like I said, I’m used to being a quick fuck, you’re just one more name added to that list.”
She grabs my hand. “That’s not what it was at all.”
“Yeah?” I ask. She nods, her face bright with hope. “Too fucking bad.”
I see the light in her eyes die, replaced with tears. “Please don’t be like this,” she whispers.
“Like what, darlin’? I’m just going with what you gave me.” I’m a dick and I know it, but I can’t help it. She hurt me, and I want her to know exactly what I felt. She nods, tears now running down her face and weakening my resolve just a bit.
“I know I was horrible to you. I deserve everything you give me. I just wanted you to know I’m so sorry, Jax,” she says, full-on sobbing now. “I freaked out the next morning. I saw how we could be and I just couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t give someone the power to break me again. I can’t be that girl, Jax. If you break me, I know I won’t be able to build myself back up again.” She’s having a full-on breakdown now. I pull her into my arms, and she clings tight to me, her nails digging into my back.
“Shh,” I soothe. My poor rainbow girl. Even her hair is muted. What once was a vibrant purple and blue is faded and washed out, much like her at the moment. Bentley may look so strong, so tough, but on the inside she’s just like me, looking for someone to love her. “You’re okay,” I tell her as I rock us from side to side.
“I’m so scared, Jax,” she says.
“I know, darlin’, I am too.”
She looks up at me, her eyes red but still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“You have the power to destroy me,” she whispers.
“Right back atcha,” I tell her.
“Don’t hurt me, Jax.”
“I won’t if you won’t.”
“Yo-you mean that?” she asks, that hopeful look she wore a few minutes ago back. My throat is thick with whatever makes throats thick, and I can’t get the words out. Instead, I just nod. “You still want me?” she asks, disbelief written all over her face.
I nod to my lap, where my dick has reacted to having her so close to me. “What do you think?”
She smirks, and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Pulling herself up, so we’re face-to-face, she straddles me and I swear I get harder.
“So we’re doing this?” she asks, “really doing this?”
“Hold that thought,” I say, and pick her up and move her to the side. In the next second I scoop Buttons off my bed and put her in the soft cat cave I saw online and decided she had to have. “Mummy and Daddy are going to have special cuddles, so you stay here and be a good girl, okay?” I tell the cat. She yawns again, curls up, and goes back to sleep. I dive for the bed and bring Bentley over me again. “There, that’s better. And to answer your question, yeah, darlin’, we’re really doing this,” I say as I lean forward and capture her lips. She sighs as they touch, and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
As the kiss wears on, I pull her tighter to me, so tight it feels like she could almost climb inside me. Eventually we break apart, both of us gasping for air. I trail my lips down her jaw to her neck, where I lick and nip. Her moans increase the longer I run my lips along her skin, her hips moving, searching for friction.
“Jax,” she moans.
“Mmm,” I say, against her pulse point.
“I need you.”
I pull back and arch an eyebrow. “Oh do you now?” She nods. “Tell me,” I say as I pull her to me, “how bad you want me.”
“So bad,” she says, breathless.
“What do you want me to do to you?” I ask as I move down her neck to her collarbone. Her strawberry scent is strong here; it’s making me crazy.
“I want you to— Oh shit,” she says as I pull down the strap to her tank top. I sweep my hand underneath the material of her bra and cup her breast. “Jax,” she says as I knead her flesh, her nipple hard against my palm.
“Yes?” I ask.
“Stop teasing me.”
I laugh but relent, pulling my hand away. She whines when I do, but that stops when I lift the hem of her shirt and quickly rid her of it. With a flick, her bra is undone, and on the floor a second later, her nipple in my mouth before the garment hits the floor.
“Ah, fuck!” she cries. Her hips rock faster the harder I suck, and if I’m not careful I’ll be coming in my pants soon. I still her hips and undo the buttons on her jeans, my hand burrowing deep to find her drenched and more than ready for me.
“Is this for me?” I ask as I circle her clit with my finger.
“Uh-huh,” she says as she bites her lip and throws her head back.
“Fuck yeah,” I say as I stand her up and strip her shoes, jeans, and panties off. She hovers over me while I pull my shorts down, my dick popping free so fast I’d laugh if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside her. I whip my shirt over my head and reach into the bedside table to grab a condom. I’m wrapped thirty seconds later, and Bentley is plunging down on me.
“Oh fuck!” I yell. “You feel so damn good, darlin’.” I hold her hips so she can’t move.
“Jax,” she whines, “I need you to move, dude.”
“Dude?” I ask. “I’ll show you ‘dude.’” I begin to pound up into her.
The sound of our bodies slapping together is echoing in my ears, and I know nothing will ever sound as sweet. I knew it the last time I was inside her, and now it’s confirmation that she was fucking made for me. “That’s it, darlin’,” I say as she tightens around me. I shift her hips slightly, and she cries out.
“Oh fuck, yes!” she screams, and if my ego weren’t already inflated beyond belief, it would be now. A gush of moisture from her drips down my balls, and I know it won’t be long. I reach between her legs and rub her clit. She cries out again, and a few thrusts later she’s coming hard. Her pussy squeezes me so tight I have no choice but to follow her into ecstasy.
She collapses on me, but I don’t give a shit. As our breathing begins to return to normal, we hear clapping coming from the living room.
“What the fuck?” Bentley asks.
I groan. “I may have deserved that.”
She pulls back and stares at me, her eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”
“I, um, may have overheard Mav and Aubrey going at it when they came down to visit last year, and did the same thing.”
“Jax.” She shakes her head.
“Hey, what was I supposed to do? I was at home, alone, minding my own business, when they come in and start going at it. Side note, Aubrey’s a screamer.” Bentley smacks me on my chest, and I grab her and roll us so we’re on our sides. I give her a quick kiss before leaving to take care of the condom. When I return to the bed, Bentley is spread out on it, her body wide open. I stop and look at her, really look at her. When I do, I notice something I hadn’t seen before. Six scars, all various lengths, either side of her pelvis. I hop into bed and remain on my side, my arm propping my head up.
“What are these?” I ask, running a finger over the puckered skin.
“One of the reasons I was so afraid,” she says.
“Can you tell me about them?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath. “You know how I told you about what my ex did to me?” My fists clench at the reminder, but I nod anyway. “That wasn’t all he did. He also stabbed me. That’s why I couldn’t remember much, because of the blood loss.”
“Was it bad?” I ask.
She nods. “But the effects were worse. You see here”—she grabs my hand and places it over one of the marks—“this is where one of my ovaries is, or was.” My eyes fly to hers, and she nods. “He got both of them. They were so badly damaged all the doctors could do was remove them.”
“So you can’t have kids?” I ask.
“Not one that would have my DNA, at least,” she says.
“Oh, darlin’.” I drag her to my chest.
“I know you’re from a big family, so if this is going to cause problems….”
“Shh.” I silence her. “You’re perfect.”
“Yeah?” she asks.
I nod and kiss the top of her head. “Absolutely.”
“Thank you,” she says, and kisses the underside of my jaw. Just then, Buttons, her timing perfect, jumps back on the bed. She walks over to us, and circles around for a bit before curling up and falling asleep between us.
My last thought before I close my eyes is, I have my two girls with me, and life is pretty sweet.