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Dearest Series Boxed Set by Lex Martin (8)

- 7 -

One thing is clear. This is a terrible idea.

I stare at Gavin’s text: Run with me tomorrow. I’ll even let you beat me.

Running is too personal. It would be like doing our laundry together when we only just met. Working out like that—side by side, measuring our strides to match one another and finding that perfect pace—is more bonding than I’m ready for.

Distance. I should create some distance.

I decline his offer. I even include a smiley face so I don’t sound bitchy, which frustrates me more because he has me using emoticons like a twelve-year-old.

After a long shift at work, made longer by random thoughts about Gavin, I try to buckle down and write, and although I have an outline, my characters don’t feel right. I’m missing something. I might be able to eke it out if the teaching assistant grades my submission, but once we get into critique groups, my peers will tear this up. Never mind that this will never cut it as material for a full-blown novel.

I’m so frustrated that I go for a jog. It’s dark outside, and I know it’s not smart to go alone, but my roommates are out, and I have too much pent-up energy. The moon is bright, and the sky is clear. I blast music and run until I’m numb.

As I slow to a walk when I reach my block, a flyer for Olivia catches my eye. Glancing up and down my street, I try to ignore the creepy sensation that I’m being watched and hustle to my apartment.

* * *

The next morning, Harper pokes her head into my room. “We’re headed to Ryan’s later. Want to come and do some laundry with me? Jenna is going to show Dani how to make those awesome grilled cheese sandwiches.”

“Ryan doesn’t mind that we use him for his washer?” Glancing at my overflowing hamper, I know I should take advantage of the offer.

“As long as we bring his girlfriend, I don’t think he cares.”

I agree, packing one load of dirty clothes along with my laptop and journal so I can work. Dani and I pile in the back seat while Harper drives, and Jenna takes shotgun. Harper mentions my book cover problem to Dani as we cut through campus.

“You don’t need a designer. I can do a cover for you,” Dani says as she roots around in her purse for some gum.

“Really? Because I suck at that stuff. Do you think you can track down a stock photo for it? Oh, and do you know anyone who designs websites? Mine is in serious need of a facelift.”

She unwraps the gum and pops it in her mouth. “I could take some pics for you, and I definitely have friends who could do your website.”

“That would be huge! I will totally pay you for the work you do on my cover.”

Dani shakes her head like the idea offends her. “No way. You’re my roommate. It’s, like, against the code or something.”

I glance at Jenna in the front seat, who nods like I’m an idiot for not knowing that Dani is so cool.

“Okay, if you’re not going to take my money, let me buy you some art supplies ’cause I know that shit is expensive.”

Dani smiles and offers me some gum. “Deal, but I want to read your book. Jenna says you’re a great writer.”

I kick Jenna’s seat in front of me, and she gives me the finger. I chew my lip as I think about it.

“All right, but you’re sworn to secrecy. I write under a pen name, and I don’t want that getting out. And when I say secrecy, we’re talking blood oath or I get your first child.”

Dani laughs but agrees, and we brainstorm different cover concepts. Ten minutes later, I’m feeling better about life.

“This is so huge, Dani. Thank you. My publicist has been on my ass to redo my cover and website for ages.”

Her eyes widen. “Wow, you have a publicist?”

“Since I’m an indie—I’m not with some big publishing company—I pay her by the service she provides, but she’s really good at getting blogs to review my book and helping me get traffic on my blog so people can read excerpts from other things I’m writing.” Like half-written books. I scowl at my inner cynic and return my attention to my roommate.

Dani and I talk non-stop until we reach Ryan’s, and then we each grab a load of laundry and trudge across the yard. As I amble up the steps to Ryan’s two-story house while trying to balance a basket of dirty clothes on my hip, the music hits me first—the Notre Dame fight song and cheering.

“Jenna,” I say slowly, “what game is on today?”

Her eyes widen as she processes why I’m asking.

“Oh, I think it’s Notre Dame and Stanford.” She smiles back reassuringly, but my heart is still racing. At least I’m not in full panic-attack mode. Those used to strike all the time for almost no reason at all. But I’m tired of Daren still qualifying as a reason.

When we walk in, Ryan comes up and plants his face on Jenna’s.

“Get a room,” I say as I push past them.

“That’s actually a great idea,” Ryan says, laughing.

“You two are like drug addicts. It’s too early in the day for tongue.”

“Clemster, it’s never too early for tongue. See, that’s why we need to get you a boyfriend.”

“If you weren’t dating my best friend, I’d take out your spleen for calling me that. Furthermore, I am not a tongue-in-front-of-my-friends kind of girl.”

Jenna pushes him off, giggling, and we drop our laundry in the hall. When I get to the living room, I’m surprised to see my brother.

“Hey, loser.” He gets up, and I hug him. “What are you doing here?”

Jax is always busy. I didn’t think he socialized with guys other than his teammates.

“Ryan invited me over last weekend, so I thought I’d stop by. Heard you girls were making lunch.”

“You came for the free food. That makes sense.”

He grins and sinks back down into the couch. The rest of Ryan’s band is here, including Kade the douchebag, which is his official name in my book. I turn and almost run into Gavin, who’s coming from the kitchen with a beer in his hand.

“Hey,” I say, surprised to see him.

Gavin smiles and gives me a hug. He does this like we’re old friends. I’ve never really thought much about hugs, but holy shit, this one feels good. I’m immediately flooded with thoughts of those washboard abs. As I press my face to his chest, he smells all kinds of yummy.

He whispers, “You left your Classical Lit notes at my place the other night. If I had known you were coming, I’d have brought them.”

That’s thoughtful. Butterflies swirl in my stomach like drunk sailors.

I lean back so I can see his face. He hasn’t shaved this morning, and his jaw is scruffy. Damn, he’s even hotter like this.

“I didn’t notice I’d lost them. Thanks for mentioning it.”

We’re talking, but he hasn’t let go of me. Is this weird? I still have one hand on his hip, and he has one arm around my shoulder. But friends hug, right? I mean, I just hugged my brother. Oh, but this is so not like hugging my brother. Gavin’s all warm and sexy, making me think about waking up nestled against him yesterday morning with my thigh wrapped around his.

As my resolve to stay away from him takes a nosedive, I’m suddenly aware that everyone is watching us. Panic rips through me, and I pull back, mumbling something about food and laundry and who knows what else.

I dart into the kitchen as Jenna and Dani start lunch, so I wash my hands and get out the supplies to help them. We bump around in a comfortable silence until Kade starts yelling.

“Clem! Come here!”

I hate Kade even more now that he’s seen my nipples. I don’t have a clue why he would need to speak to me, but I wander into the living room anyway. The guys are watching the half-time show, which features a preview of next weekend’s BC game.

“Isn’t this your boy?” Kade asks as a picture of one very attractive Daren Sloan, star quarterback, pops up.

I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to explain my connection to Daren, but obviously someone has. The segment features Daren’s recent engagement to his “high-school sweetheart” Veronica. I can’t help but laugh.

Kade pokes me, and I contemplate breaking that finger.

“Clem, aren’t you jealous? You could’ve married the guy who is probably going to be the number-one draft pick.”

I’m almost positive that Kade is going to hell, a thought that nearly puts a smile on my face.

Trying to stand tall, I do my best to seem unaffected. “If Veronica giving him blow jobs our senior year while he was dating me qualifies her as a sweetheart, then I’m a little mistaken about what that word means. And for the record, I’ve never regretted breaking up with him.” I feel blood pumping through the veins in my neck. “He still sends me tickets to his games. I bet Veronica doesn’t know that little detail. So really, they’re perfect for each other.”

Jax looks irritated. “He’s never told me he sends you tickets.”

“He’s your best friend. Maybe you should ask him about it.” I turn on my heel and head down to the laundry room. Breathe. Breathe.

* * *

My hands are still shaking ten minutes later as I start the load of whites. Or I’m trying to start the machine, but the button is stuck.

“Here. Let me help.” Gavin reaches over my shoulder and does this weird twisting motion to the switch, which makes the machine magically start. I must be out of it because I didn’t hear him come down the stairs.

“How did you know to do that? Do you do laundry here a lot?”

He’s still standing in my personal space.

“No, I don’t do laundry here, but it’s my house, so I have to deal with the appliance problems.”

What?

He sees the confusion on my face and smiles. “It’s my grandmother’s house, or it was until she died a few years ago. My parents gave it to me, but since I have to live on campus, I rent it out. That’s how I met Ryan.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

His eyes tighten and his head tilts.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry Kade is being a dick.”

He runs his hands through his thick, black hair, and it’s going every which way but still somehow looks great.

“I’m fine.” Although Kade is being a bigger douchebag than usual. “I’m just not used to talking about Daren with anyone, so I’m surprised he knew.”

Gavin sighs and rubs his chin. “He’s going through some rough stuff right now.”

Because I don’t care what Kade is going through, I shrug.

He motions toward me. “That sounded kind of intense, what you said about Daren cheating on you.”

I nod, not really knowing how much I want to tell him, especially since he’s a reporter. But he wouldn’t write about something as stupid as my nonexistent love life, would he? Not when he covers serious topics?

He senses my hesitation and pulls me into a hug. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Breathing in the scent of his clothes makes something in my heart ache. “There’s not much to say. It happened a long time ago.” I step back and look up at him warily.

He smiles back and nods. “Okay, well, lunch is ready, and Jenna said to get your ass up there.”

We start to walk back upstairs when he nudges me. “You wanna go climbing again on Friday?”

I don’t know if it’s his easy smile or the fact that he didn’t pressure me to tell him more about Daren, but it makes me want to trust him, so I tell him yes.

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